The Queer & Pregnant Thread --- mid-Sept. till Dec. 2008 - Page 15 - Mothering Forums
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#421 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 09:46 AM
 
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2hm, I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way. Here's hoping Coco is just resting up for her next big dance marathon!

Jenn, lots of good thoughts for you, too, for your ultrasound today!

s&d, I feel very lucky that I get 8 weeks of paid leave, plus 2 school holidays (2 weeks and 1 week in Dec. and Feb.), but I'm still whiny.

pranava, it seems to me sometimes like your xp needs a good swift kick in the rear. I have a 15 year old cousin in West Lafayette who could be bribed.

I'm taking 9 fifth graders out for Indian food for lunch today. Sometimes my job has its perks.

Waldorf-teaching mama to A (12/08), wife to my sweet wife M , and sharing a home with a dog , four cats , five turtles, a fish, and a crab.
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#422 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 10:28 AM
 
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2HM that happened to my neighbor, her midwife told her to play fast music to her belly. Now her 20-year-old son still loves to stay up late dancing. I hope it's something as simple as the day before having been an active one and Coco needing a day to chill out. You're in my thoughts.

Pranava, it really sounds like your ex is forcing you to focus on going it alone, and I know that is not what you were planning on when you got pregnant. I'm sorry. I hope your work stress tapers off soon!

miep: have fun. Lotsa perks to balance out the work.

MW appt today. GBS test results. Have you all been thinking negative thoughts for me?

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#423 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 11:11 AM
 
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Pranava...XDP totally sucks. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now.

Katie...oh no!! I'm sooooo sorry I freaked you out!!! I certainly didn't want anyone else to share in my obsessiveness. I feel so bad! Last night...I was totally convinced that I wasn't preggo because I didn't feel too nauseous and my boobs hurt slightly less. I also managed to stay up till about 10:00 last night...so I was in tears thinking it must be a bad sign and I wasn't preggo. Poor DP. Anyway...the good news is...I was wrong!!! I'm just a nutcase. This morning we saw our baby and he/she had a nice strong little heartbeat!!!! ::: So...that said...don't let me freak you out. I'm not quite right in the head sometimes.

DS Alexander Joseph born 6/29/09
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#424 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 11:18 AM
 
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Jenn!!!!

I am so happy for you. It's so great to see that first heartbeat, isn't it? Especially after a loss.

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#425 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 11:43 AM
 
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It's just indescribable!!! The loss was a blighted ovum...so we never actually got to see that baby. So, it was just such a rush to see him/her...heart beating away!!!

So, how's Coco today?

DS Alexander Joseph born 6/29/09
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#426 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 12:00 PM
 
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Hooray for a heartbeat! So . . . only one heartbeat? Not twins afterall? I was wrong?! I'm so happy for you guys.

I can't wait to hear good news about Coco, 2HM. I hope you're not feeling too stressed.

Add me to the list of obsessive worriers. Dw went from feeling horribly sick to feeling just mildly nauseous. She also seems to have more energy and isn't peeing as much. She chalks her "improvement" up to the fact that she's been seeing an amazing acupuncturist (the same one who drastically reduced my morning sickness when I was pregnant with the twins, and who helped her mom recover from hyperemesis gravidarum) specifically in order to feel better. And she thinks it's working. Thus, she doesn't feel stressed at all about her lessening symptoms. But I'm a bit of a wreck (though trying to hide it from dw). It's so hard not to be able to feel what she's feeling. I actually wasn't that paranoid about miscarriage when I was pregnant because I just FELT so pregnant, so sick, and so "different," and it's hard for me to feel as confident without actually FEELING anything.

This morning dw felt a little bit worse again, and I felt a little bit better. How's that for a supportive wife? Sigh.

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#427 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 12:13 PM
 
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Yeah, Lex...just the one. They looked around real good for a second one...but just found the one little bugger in there. And, yeah...it's hard to NOT freak out this early on. It just is. I was convinced last night that there was something wrong. And today I feel a bit better than I have been too. But...there was the little guy/girl...heart beating away. So, I guess it's true...early symptoms really do just come and go. Nothing to worry about...but of course you will anyway...and so will I.

DS Alexander Joseph born 6/29/09
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#428 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 12:29 PM
 
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So, how's Coco today?
I have an appointment with an OB at 1:00 this afternoon. Coco is still really quiet. She was somewhat active yesterday evening, but has been pretty quiet since that time. I don't know what she thinks she's doing.

They are doing a higher level ultrasound today to see cord placement (make sure it's not around her pretty little neck). It also checks the arteries in the cord and blood flow patterns through the cord. They are also looking at her muscle tone, heart rate, movement, breathing, and amount of fluid. I think they are also checking out my cervix...her little head was pressed right up against it yesterday. My MW said that the positioning of her head could be a valid reason why there was not any fluid around it. They also need to evaluate the placenta further to determine how much it is breaking down and what that means in terms of her health. I gotta wonder if the issues with the placenta will mean that they will take her early.

They said (yesterday) she was weighing 5lbs, 1 oz @ 32+2. Granted, that means she probably weighs between 4 and 6lbs. Her head was in the 50%, leg 90%, and belly 95%. The tech was surprised at her belly size and commented on it several times. She also asked if the donor was tall. When I said yes (he's 6ft.2inches), she said she was not surprised because Coco has long legs. I can just see it......a regular sized head, a HUGE belly, and really long legs. I love her.

I am just trying to stay positive and see what happens. I hate the thought of transferring care to an OB and having a hospital birth, but the main priority is our daughter. We'll do what we have to do.

Thanks for asking. I will update again after the appointment.
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#429 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 12:51 PM
 
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Awesome! It's so amazing what they can do for those little ones! And yes...like you said...you gotta do what you gotta do. If she's ready to make her appearance a little early...then so be it! Uh-oh...looks like you're gonna have a pushy one on your hands there!!! She wants what she wants...when she wants it!!!!

DS Alexander Joseph born 6/29/09
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#430 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 02:39 PM
 
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Thank you all for your negativity. It worked - I was GBS neg. : one less thing to think about!

So much work to do, so little ambition to do it.

2HM, I am thinking good thoughts for you, your partner and coco!

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#431 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 03:48 PM
 
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I am going to try to have a ncb and my ob is being very supportive of it.
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#432 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 03:54 PM
 
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2HM sending you lots of : at your appointment today.
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#433 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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2HM, I hope the appointment today goes well. I'll be thinking of you.

JennM, congrats on the heartbeat!

JennInMpls, so glad you're negative. Hope the actual swabbing process wasn't too bad. (My sister told me it was fairly unpleasant, for her.)

Our news: DP felt the baby kick for the first time, Sat night! I was 22w, 6 days, and lying in bed just chilling out. I've been able to feel the little guy moving around for a while, but try as he might DP hasn't been able to feel anything on the outside. I commented that the baby was awfully kicky, DP put his hand on my (finally starting to show) belly, and lo! Got two kicks! I almost started bawling, it was so cool.

Speaking of, I've been super hormonal these days. Taking my cat to the vet yesterday nearly had me bawling, too, because my cat was scared and crying. I found a dead mouse (!!!) under our couch the other day, cleaning, and nearly passed out. I can't even kill bugs in the house anymore. Anyone else?

Mom to DS (3) and a new baby!  Geeked to be married to my love love.gif

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#434 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 05:59 PM
 
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JennInMpls, so glad you're negative. Hope the actual swabbing process wasn't too bad. (My sister told me it was fairly unpleasant, for her.)
Oh, well... it's an oversized cotton swab, and she swabbed maybe an inch inside my vagina and then the part that probably bothers a lot of women, poked the tip of it into the rectum. To me: big whoop. But I know that really is horrible to a lot of people...

2HM, we've got a candle burning for you and are anxious to hear your news.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#435 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 06:05 PM
 
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Thinking of you and little CoCo 2HM. Hope all is well

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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#436 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 06:16 PM
 
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We just got home from the doctor. We have good news and bad news.

Good news: Coco is good. She got an A on her biophysical profile. Amniotic fluid index is 12. She was moving around a lot. Her position had changed and they noticed her hands and feet were tucked under the placenta, which may explain why I felt little movement.

Bad news: My placenta is a bit worse than they thought. Instead of being a grade two, it is a grade 3. From what I can tell, they do not like to see the placenta as a grade 3 until at least 40 weeks, not at 32.5. This means that I have to go to the OB once a week to keep checking the placenta to make sure it is not decomping further. They wil also do the biophysical each week. At this point, I think I may be out of a homebirth. The OB said that we could check the placenta each week for the next month and if it does not get worse, we could talk about transferring care back for a HB or possibly to a birthing center. If it decomps more, she will likely need to take the baby early. We'll just have to keep monitoring it. She said there's probably no way she would let me go to 42 weeks because of the condition of my placenta.

I have to figure out what I want to do with regards to the birth. Do I need to tour hospitals or what? It's hard to imagine that my HB may be gone and I have to go to a hospital.
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#437 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 06:27 PM
 
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I know it's tough to handle since you've had your heart set on a HB...but I am so happy to hear that little Coco is ok!!! :

DS Alexander Joseph born 6/29/09
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#438 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 07:07 PM
 
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2HM are you looking for suggestions or just sympathetic ears at this point?

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#439 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 07:08 PM
 
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All hail Little Miss Coco!!! :
As for your placenta issues and possible thwarted homebirth, I'm so sorry.
Wish I had some advice or wise words ... which I don't.
I've got this though:
And some of this:
And a little o' this:
And one of these for good measure:

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#440 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 07:12 PM
 
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Glad to hear CoCo is OK. I hope you can find peace in whatever path this takes.

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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#441 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 07:35 PM
 
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2HM are you looking for suggestions or just sympathetic ears at this point?
I'll take whatever you've got!
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#442 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 08:32 PM
 
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I vote that we all send things to 2HM so that you can make whatever your birthing context might be calming, empowering, truly yours. Pictures, music, special beads, rocks, etc......what do folks think?

yay coco!

megin



ps -- I'd tour the hospital just because knowledge is power.

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#443 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 09:21 PM
 
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JennInMpls, so glad you're negative. Hope the actual swabbing process wasn't too bad. (My sister told me it was fairly unpleasant, for her.)
With my midwifery practice, they let you swab yourself! I was terrified of the process, actually, but then they just handed me the swab, explained what to do and sent me on my merry way. It was easy, and so much more comfortable to do it myself.

Quote:
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We just got home from the doctor. We have good news and bad news.
I'm sorry to hear about your placenta, but really happy that everything is okay with Coco. I'm with Megin - if you think you you might have a hospital birth, I'd take the time to tour the hospital. No harm done if you end up getting your HB, but you'll be familiar with the place if you do need to birth there.

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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#444 of 655 Old 11-11-2008, 11:36 PM
 
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JennM--so glad to hear the good news about the little one... I say you're in the clear now!

2HM-- I think my wife, Megin, is brilliant, so of course I agree that you should tour hospitals. They don't HAVE to be bad.

To all us obsessors-- there is NO OUT! It's clearly just who we are...part of the process. I guess all we can do is embrace it.

As for me-- I am desperate for new bras... popping out of the old ones that never really fit right to begin with! Nothing else much going on here.

Katie, DW to Megin, Mamma to Quinn (7y.o.) and Wylie, born 07-04-10
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#445 of 655 Old 11-12-2008, 10:59 AM
 
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2HM - So glad Coco is alright!!

I agree with the others, tour the hospital and learn as much as you. You may still get your HB, but at least you'll be prepared. We had to switch from HB to hospital early on, for various reasons. I was disappointed at first, but I've been trying to learn as much as I can and get lots of great tips on how to make the hospital experience more pleasant. So, I feel pretty at peace with it now.
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#446 of 655 Old 11-12-2008, 11:01 AM
 
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JennM, how did I miss your news yesterday?

Congrats on the heartbeat!! :::

That must be such a relief. Here is hoping the rest of your pregnancy is relaxing and joyful. Oh, who am I kidding, there is always something to worry about. So here is hoping that your worry is minimal and your joy bountiful! :

smartycatpartners.gif quasar.  Mommies to two boys.
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#447 of 655 Old 11-12-2008, 11:12 AM
 
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jenn, wooohoo, congrats on seeing your jenbean's heartbeat! isn't that the most wonderful thing?

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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#448 of 655 Old 11-12-2008, 01:42 PM
 
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OK, 2HM, this is why I asked... because if you just wanted sympathetic listeners, I would have sat on my hands but since you're open... in my birthing from within class we were two women who had had prior cesarean births and wanting desperately to have VBACs. On the last day of our class the teacher made us face the elephant in the room, which was: what happens if our dream is once again shattered and we are faced with the exact birth situation we are trying so hard to avoid? How are we going to (1) cope with that and (2) acknowledge and give ourselves credit for having done the best thing for ourselves and our babies?

You're in a similar situation. You want a home birth, and you may end up in a hospital. You may end up birthing your baby early - if there is a bad problem, it may be a surgical birth. And none of this is what you wanted and it's probably making you feel miserable, and you are justified in feeling that way. But what our teacher forced us to do is to put the situation in a different light, and take ownership for it, recognizing that the most important thing to do is to make informed decisions about our own safety and the safety of our children.

You're getting a lot of information, and you're smart, and you know that this may not be the birth you want, BUT: it's still your birth. It's not your doctor's. Your doctor gets to give you the options, the benefits and risks of each option, the alternatives. YOU and your wife get to make the decisions. YOU are the one birthing this baby - your doctor is not taking her. If you end up having a cesarean birth, which is probably the second to last thing you want (the last thing being a baby who is harmed or, worse, born still), you have every right to grieve the loss of your dream, and no one should tell you otherwise (although they will, which is something to come to terms with on a different day if that ends up being the situation, and we'll hope it won't), but believe me, if you feel that you are the one in charge, that you have made the best choices available to you in a difficult situation, and that you have put your health and your daughter's health first, you will deal with the hard situation much quicker than if you put the responsibility for the choices in someone else's hands.

I am really, really wishing you, your DW and Coco well, and sending you strength to make all these hard decisions.

Does anyone remember the second N from BRAINN? The things you should consider when you are at a crossroad and need to make a decision:

B = Benefits of an intervention/test
R = Risks of an intervention/test
A = Alternatives to the intervention/test
I = Intuition - what is your gut telling you?
N = Nothing - what could happen if you do nothing, even for an hour?
N = ???

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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#449 of 655 Old 11-12-2008, 04:25 PM
 
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jen... love the BRAIN tool. How cool is that and why didn't I ever come across it in five years of counselling women and children fleeing violence?

Here's a belly pic at 27 weeks:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/22089658@N04/3025732940/

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#450 of 655 Old 11-12-2008, 05:57 PM
 
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Hi gurrlz,

Could you please add Mommies_2_be EDD as July, 12 2008? :

Thanks!

Catherine & Laura
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