Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
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It sounds to me like you have already started to share your thoughts with your cousin. And it seems she has made up her mind. I am not saying what she is doing is either right or wrong, but it is her decision. Keep the dialogue open though. Maybe you can talk about things like him stepping up and *wanting* to be a part of the child’s life or that in the future, baby might want to search out bio daddy and that could lead to an unpleasant/weird situation for daughter to find a man who has no idea he is a father. But keep in mind, no matter her decision, she knows this man best and may just have the right *vibe* about him. Another thing you might want to have her check into is the fact that she will need his consent to have her partner adopt if bio dad was listed on the birth certificate. I am not sure of the law in every state, but in Mass, you have to have either a signature or go through a process to prove you can't find bio parent (i.e. newspaper adds, court dates, etc).
Best of luck to your cousin with whichever decision she makes. And to you as well, to be able to support and stand by her in it.