If you want or can move to BC, Canada, I can make lots of suggestions ... but I'm actually responding to the whole queer urban / rural divide.
We live in a very small town, about 2,500 people spread across a 75 kilometre long valley, with a funky, young, queer friendly, nature-lovin' town centre at one end of the valley. People still hitch their horse to the post at the coffee shop ... it's that kind of town. Lot's of young families.
DP is genderqueer ... and it hasn't been a problem, other than when it confuses kids on occasion ("Is that person a boy or a girl?")
But we're thinking about moving back to the city.
We don't want to, but this town is very expensive to live in, and we have no family here. And the childcare situation doesn't work for shift workers (I'm a paramedic and DP is a chef at the near-by ski resort). There's also no pool, no ice rink, and very few resources.
That alone isn't enough to sway us, but what it might come down to is whether or not we can afford to keep our house, what with no childcare available.
So we've been looking at pros to the urban life (
) ... our queer city neighbourhood in Vancouver, lots of good childcare options, lots of good alternative school options, lots of friends and family to take the baby now and then, lots of other queer parents, lots of art programs and free events in the parks, a good transit system, pools, that sort of thing.
Mind you, we live very rurally, so perhaps a midsize town would have more to offer? We just love it here. Love it. We went 4x4ing yesterday, and didn't see another soul the whole time. Just lakes and trees and mist and leaves and a bobcat and a couple of deer ... sigh. We don't want to leave.