Where is the weird comments thread? - Mothering Forums
Babywearing > Where is the weird comments thread?
MittensKittens's Avatar MittensKittens 05:32 AM 04-17-2009
When you need it? I wanted to share this gem. Yesterday, a woman apparently walking her grandchild around the park approached me asking why my baby wasn't in a stroller. I replied that I babywear for many reasons, including comfort, convenience and bonding. She replied, "Yeah, but what about your back?". After saying we were both very comfy, the woman said "Perhaps you are now, but when you get older you won't be able to stand up straight, and you will be in pain all the time!"

WTH?

chase_mommy's Avatar chase_mommy 10:40 AM 04-17-2009
I got the same "when you get older your back is going to hurt all the time" line from a lady once. She really caught me off guard since she was not mainstream at all but she continued to tell me she wore all three of her children and now her back is a mess. She even went as far as to beg me to stop wearing my little one "before it was to late"... of course in a concerned manor.

I'm not gonna lie... her words have crossed my mind a lot and has given me a bit of worry but not enough for me to stop babywearing. I keep telling myself she *must* have been doing something wrong to have messed her back up so much.

I sure hope my theory is right and hers is wrong.
schreiberwriter's Avatar schreiberwriter 11:25 PM 04-18-2009
strengthen your abs and you'll be fine. Everyone's different.

And be sure to make all life decisions based on fear.
tanyam926's Avatar tanyam926 12:24 AM 04-19-2009
I think my back hurts sometimes after carrying my 20 lber all day bc I'm not in great shape, not bc there's something inherently dangerous about babywearing.

I get the comment about it hurting the back a lot too but we are mostly comfy and I tell people that we feel great.

Today I was at the store and a little boy around 7 or 8 told his mom, "Look mom, that's a perfect way to carry a baby!" It was great!
MittensKittens's Avatar MittensKittens 02:26 PM 04-19-2009
I used to be into fitness before I was a mom, and never had issues carrying heavy stuff. If you can't carry your own baby, what can you carry? Oh... and (I use podaegis), when I lived in Korea, not all old ladies had bent backs .
simplymother's Avatar simplymother 11:35 PM 04-21-2009
IS there a weird comments thread? I'd love to read them. And also hear some good things to say to all the looks and comments I get!
Everrgreen's Avatar Everrgreen 11:42 PM 04-21-2009
This isn't really a rude comment, but DH's grandma is always asking me if I've taken DS out in his 'buggy' yet. And everytime I will tell her he doesn't have a buggy and that I use a wrap carrier, but the next time she asks again about the 'buggy'. I think she just likes to say 'buggy'
NinaBruja's Avatar NinaBruja 06:15 AM 04-22-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by chase_mommy View Post
I'm not gonna lie... her words have crossed my mind a lot and has given me a bit of worry but not enough for me to stop babywearing. I keep telling myself she *must* have been doing something wrong to have messed her back up so much.
maybe shes one of those people i see all over the place who are wearing ginormous slings when they need small ones so the baby is wobbling around near thier genitals, or one of those people who have slings all bunched up on thier neck.
when i see people doing both i cringe and try not to go over and offer them help or a smaller sling.
funkymamajoy's Avatar funkymamajoy 01:22 PM 04-22-2009
My SIL is convinced that I'm giving myself back problems. However, I'm standing up straight with both of us properly supported and she's leaning over an umbrella stroller that is too short for her and doesn't support that baby's spine at all.
nml12903's Avatar nml12903 03:10 PM 04-22-2009
I was shopping the other day and I passed two store employees. One looked at the other and said "my heart just drops everytime I see something like that". The other one responded by saying "I know, why would you even think a piece of fabric and a metal ring would hold up such a big baby? She's going to realize how crazy she is when the baby crashes to the floor!" This was all in reference to my "big" 12 pound 6 month old in his maya wrap. I didn't even bother to say anything to them. I didn't want to waste my time.
Maggirayne's Avatar Maggirayne 05:08 PM 04-22-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by poxybat View Post
maybe shes one of those people i see all over the place who are wearing ginormous slings when they need small ones so the baby is wobbling around near thier genitals, or one of those people who have slings all bunched up on thier neck.
when i see people doing both i cringe and try not to go over and offer them help or a smaller sling.
Um, could you ask if they are comfortable in the sling? I had a hard time figuring mine out at first and would have loved for someone to show me. I didn't have any crunchy friends then. My ring sling was too bunched up in the back/shoulder.

Or start a convo, "How do you like your sling?"

But then, I'm one of those people who wants to help everyone.
NinaBruja's Avatar NinaBruja 12:55 AM 04-24-2009
yeah thats a good idea, ill try that next time...

i just remembered one comment i got when sandrel was like 3 months or so.
i was walking around the mall and this guy asked 'can the baby breathe!?'
and i walked closer and showed him her little face and said 'yup'
he asked if she was comfortable in there. i said 'well shes calm and i think shes falling asleep so id say so and its pretty much how she was in my belly'
we talked for a little while and he decided that slings were awesome

oh i do have another one too

i had liesl on my back in the wrap. i was leaving the library holding a huge box of slings. this visibly drunk man was walking behind me and yells out 'hey lady! do you know you have a baby on your back?' and then cracks up laughing
limabean's Avatar limabean 02:27 AM 04-24-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by poxybat View Post
i had liesl on my back in the wrap. i was leaving the library holding a huge box of slings. this visibly drunk man was walking behind me and yells out 'hey lady! do you know you have a baby on your back?' and then cracks up laughing
Ha -- I would have cracked up too. But the pun-loving side of me would have had a hard time not saying, "And you have a monkey on yours!"
nettlesoup's Avatar nettlesoup 06:38 AM 04-24-2009
My OH's granny is always making comments about me using the mei tai instead of a stroller. She's used such lines as 'You'll fall and kill the baby, your sister will be upset if you don't use the buggy' (my sister bought it as a present for us), and 'you need to be normal'. I don't know why she's so obsessed with us using it; I think because slings aren't mainstream enough.
She's already told us we have to live like normal people now that we have a baby. We need to stop eating weird food (like organic vegetable lasagne and anything healthy) and feed her normal food like beans and chips. Oh, and we need to get a tv because babies love tv's! When she found out we were going to co-sleep, she started collecting newspaper cuttings of babies who died in their parents' beds.
Sorry, this appears to have turned into a rant! But anyway, back on subject; I don't think she's commented on it hurting my back yet, but she doesn't think I'm capable of carrying a baby far and should therefore go for the easy option of a stroller.
Burnindinner's Avatar Burnindinner 12:17 PM 04-24-2009
Wow, this is amazing! I've only ever heard positive comments. People LOVE to stop me when I have the moby and tell me it looks cool or they are impressed I'm using it right, or that he looks so comfy!

I think the ones that make me sad for the person are the people who think the baby can fall out - really? Like you'd do something dangerous for your child?

I like the 7 year old who told his mom it was a good idea. I got a mom in trouble who was pushing her infant in a carrier - her other child was at the asking a million questions stage and wanted to know why THEY didn't have the baby in a sling!
mjg013's Avatar mjg013 07:51 PM 04-24-2009
I've been fortunate enough to only have positive comments, although I've experienced a few incredulous looks from people watching me put my didy on in a parking lot or two. Most people stop me to tell me how cool it is and ask where I got it and how it works and how they wish they'd had one. I've seen men nudge their wives in the grocery store and tell her they need to get one of those. Most recently, we took our 8 month old to a Jimmy Buffett concert in the wrap. As we were leaving the people behind us saw him and the man said so that's what that was. He said he and his wife saw me putting it on in the parking lot and had no idea what I was wrapping all around me. He said that it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. We got quite a lot of comments and amazed stares at the concert but then it takes very little to amaze and amuse drunk people.
HappyHelpmate's Avatar HappyHelpmate 01:25 AM 04-25-2009
Oh, I can't believe the entire gammut of comments I've gotten! Of course, we're in a very conservative, southern area, so many people have never seen someone wearing their baby until me.
I often get "Wow, that's how the Indians/Africans carry their babies"
but also, "can the baby breathe in there?"
and, I used to walk with a couple of friends about 2mi 3-4days a week, and I'd usually use a stroller, but when DS was fussy, I'd put him in the sling or mei tai, and they'd say "Oh, isn't that going to hurt your back?" and they'd constantly ask me if I wanted them to carry him! I'm just like "No, this is way easier than trying to carry him, and my back doesn't hurt, I promise!"
But generally, most people say "That is really a neat idea. I wish I'd known about those when I had my baby(ies)."
So I started making slings for gifts for every baby shower I go to now and everyone is usually glad to get them!

ETA: Oh yeah, and my SIL said when I had my son in a sling to go into a store "You look like those hippie women I see at concerts who wear those to breastfeed their kids." haha!! I didn't even know how to take that, but I thought it was a good thing. hahhaha
hrsmom's Avatar hrsmom 02:22 AM 04-25-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by simplymother View Post
IS there a weird comments thread? I'd love to read them. And also hear some good things to say to all the looks and comments I get!
There are a few that get started from time to time. I'll see if I can dig one or two of them up!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nml12903 View Post
I was shopping the other day and I passed two store employees. One looked at the other and said "my heart just drops everytime I see something like that". The other one responded by saying "I know, why would you even think a piece of fabric and a metal ring would hold up such a big baby? She's going to realize how crazy she is when the baby crashes to the floor!" This was all in reference to my "big" 12 pound 6 month old in his maya wrap. I didn't even bother to say anything to them. I didn't want to waste my time.
This is sad! I wouldn't have said anything, either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by poxybat View Post
i had liesl on my back in the wrap. i was leaving the library holding a huge box of slings. this visibly drunk man was walking behind me and yells out 'hey lady! do you know you have a baby on your back?' and then cracks up laughing
Hilarious!!!!!!

The most recent one I got was from someone at my church who see me wear my baby every time I go (which isn't often anymore because honestly, I'm sick of the comments!) Anyway, they said that my babe was going to learn to walk backwards because I carry her on my front facing back. Give me a break. That is preferable to the comment that she'll never learn to walk, although both are equally ridiculous.

On Easter my pastor saw us and said, "you still holding that baby?" What am I supposed to do, put her on the ground? Geez!
hrsmom's Avatar hrsmom 02:28 AM 04-25-2009
Here's a "funny comments" thread that I started awhile ago, which was the only way I could find one! funny comments

There are probably more recent ones!
Magali's Avatar Magali 09:53 AM 04-25-2009
Well at that point, you would stop babywearing right? I mean it's not called young adolescent wearing
_betsy_'s Avatar _betsy_ 12:10 PM 04-25-2009
I'd just say "That's OK, Dh is a chiropractor!"

I like to wear my babies high and tight. If they are lower or looser I don't feel like they are very secure, and I have trouble keeping a sling on my shoulder if it's not good and snug. Not sure, maybe I look like one of those with baby bunched at their neck, but that's what's comfortable and works for us.
NinaBruja's Avatar NinaBruja 04:54 PM 04-25-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
Not sure, maybe I look like one of those with baby bunched at their neck, but that's what's comfortable and works for us.
i was talking about people who wear ring slings with the rings on thier necks mostly. ive seen a few pouch wearers with the shoulder literally wadded up and tangled at thier neck, leaving the baby insecure and wobbly.
i was walking by one woman who was like that and she was complaining to her friend that it was hurting her now that her baby was all of 3 months, little baby too. i had to butt in then.

i remember when i got my first sling. a new native pouch. i was sooooooooooooo confused. lol it came to me unfolded and i tried to wear her like that

oh i remember another weird comment i got. there was a woman who wanted to wear her littlest. i offered to lend her a sling but she never took me up on it, said she would buy her own. i bumped into her later and brought it up. she said she was planning on it but her baby was now much too big. her baby was 6 months old... and i was wearing my then 2 year old. o.0
MittensKittens's Avatar MittensKittens 03:59 PM 04-26-2009
Today at the store, a seven year old-ish girl asked her mom, "mom, why is that lady wearing a baby in that bag?". Her mom didn't answer at all, so she came up to me and asked me, as well. I told her what it was and how it worked, and she was pretty impressed then!
pauletoy's Avatar pauletoy 02:18 AM 04-27-2009
I was wearing my little one in a sling in a local thrift shop. An older lady came up to me and told me that I was lucky because they didn't have "modern contraptions" back when she had kids. I just smiled and walked on all the while thinking "What, they didn't have fabric back then?"
accountclosed2's Avatar accountclosed2 06:51 AM 04-27-2009
Only odd comments I've got have been "You're lucky to still be carried by mum!" or "He's to big now" (pointing to her 5-month old), otherwise I usually just get "Oh, you're all snug in there" or "Oh that looks very nice and cosy".

Quote:
Originally Posted by hrsmom View Post
The most recent one I got was from someone at my church who see me wear my baby every time I go (which isn't often anymore because honestly, I'm sick of the comments!) Anyway, they said that my babe was going to learn to walk backwards because I carry her on my front facing back. Give me a break. That is preferable to the comment that she'll never learn to walk, although both are equally ridiculous.

On Easter my pastor saw us and said, "you still holding that baby?" What am I supposed to do, put her on the ground? Geez!
I've never got any of these comments myself, but I still get surprised when I read them. I mean, i know a lot of crunchy mamas (and mainstream as well of course), but I've yet to see one who regularly carries a child over 3 (I don't mean carrying a child while you're out hiking, and also, I know mums who put their 3-4-year olds in a sling when they're tired sometimes). I've seen lots of 4 & 5-year olds in PUSH CHAIRS.

And the backwards comment - - not THAT long ago, most push chairs faced the parent (and those kids were probably waling on their own much sooner than most kids in push chairs forward facing today anyway!).
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