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#1 of 27 Old 08-10-2010, 11:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD and I are STILL not getting this babywearing thing. My primary question is, when exactly do you wear your baby? People always say they wear the baby "all day," but what exactly does that mean? It seems like there's always some reason why I can't wear her, be it bottle-time, nap time, floor-play time, outside on mommy's lap time, cooking time, DH's time w/her, shower time... It doesn't help that we're only successful positioning in the wrap about half the time (the other half ends in both of us frustrated, uncomfortable, and teary). And then I feel like I'm not sure what to do when I have her on, since it makes most chores difficult and we have a REALLY small house (<1000 sq.ft.) for wandering around. Perhaps it would come more naturally if we had a carrier we could use more effortlessly?

Please share your secrets and your schedule - details! When and how do you wear your baby???
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#2 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 12:03 AM
 
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I usually tended to wear my DS when there was something to be done but he wanted held or needed to be close to me. So sometimes I was working on the computer, or doing some dishes, or cleaning up a little or whatever around the house, I could do it hands free.
We didn't really do it a ton when he was really little, I was fine holding him. As he got heavier it got more important for me to have some support. We used our carriers a lot more out of the house though.

I work with new mothers and babies a lot and the stretchy wrap seems to come in handy for those fussy times or just to cuddle up to sleep. There isn't really a "time" for it, just put them in and go about your day together!

Do you have someone in person to help you with the wrap? That can make a world of difference.

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#3 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 12:25 AM
 
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I hardly ever wear my baby at home anymore. He is 9 months now, so he is usually playing on the floor, nursing, or napping on my lap.

Occasionally I will wear him on my back in the Ergo if I am cooking dinner and he wants to be held. Sometimes I wear him when we go for walks, otherwise he rides in the double jogger w/his big brother. When I shower I wear him in a water ring sling, hip carry.

I'd say 85% of our babywearing happens outside the home when we are out and about. I always wear him at the grocery store or Target, again, on my back in the Ergo. If it is a quick trip just to pick up a few things, I pop him in a ring sling, hip carry. When we are not at home and he is sleepy, I will nurse him in the ring sling, cradle hold, then he will sleep there for a nap. He has fallen asleep a few times on my back in the Ergo when we are out all day at destinations like the zoo, aquarium, amusement park, etc. When we go to the local park to let DS1 play, I wear the baby so I can push DS1 on the swings. We were at a party the other night at someone's house and I wore him on my back for a while cause he was sleepy. He didn't go to sleep, but it calmed him down.
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#4 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 12:27 AM
 
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When my children were younger, I didn't typically wear them in a sling around the house. If I had chores, I would wait until they were sleeping soundly on their own, or their dad was holding or playing with them. The sling was mainly used when we left the house. I used ring slings. I always preferred the hip carry, holding them on my right hip. That's for when they're 6 months or older, though. When my kids were younger than that, I'd hold them in a semi-reclining cradle hold (head on the side of the rings).
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#5 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 12:55 AM
 
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For the wrap, i highly suggest youtube. I couldn't tie and then put the baby in, i had to tie him on me. As for when -mostly anytime we Were out of the house, we exclusively used the wrap until he was 3 mos. He does not let me wear him and then sit down to do something, i haveto be moving/walking, whether that's prepping lunch in the kitchen, dancing in the shower, taking a walk outside, doesn't matter to him. At 10 mos, we use the RS around the house for a hip carry, the onbu if i think hes going to sleep or the mei tai if i need the support (wearing him for long periods or while doing work).

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#6 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 01:52 AM
 
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i was one of those who 'wore my baby all the time'. From the time he was born until he was 6 months old and could crawl, he wanted interaction constantly- actually that hasn't changed, but now at 13 months he likes to walk around and just touch base. He actually brought the sling to me a couple of days ago and we did it for a while, although now i mostly carry him in a mei tai when we are out nowadays.

I found that the wrap took some getting used to for both of us- same with the sling, i had experienced friends show me how to use both several times before i had him and after he was born, and i still used tutorials at first. Some things that helped- starting him when he was happy- it didn't work for me or my hubby to start wearing him when he was fussy at first, but a happy baby in the wrap was happy much longer. however by maybe 6 weeks, hewould calm down when we got the sling or wrap out. so, in the beginning, since i was working at home, i would feed him and slip him in the wrap. then the other key, Motion. To start, put him in and when you feel comfortable with the position, start moving, i think i got this from the Sears book, but it helped, we would walk around our house and when we got back inside i could start doing what i had to get done,usually i had to keep moving, but even if i was working on the computer, i could stand and sway and type, which was better then trying ot soothe him otherwise, and i eventually could nurse him in either while i worked.

I hope it helps.

Good luck.
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#7 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 09:42 AM
 
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in the early days we usually used a sling (youtube: slip knot rebozo) or mei tai, until I got a wrap, and even then I would keep my non-stretchy wrap pre-tied, and just pop him in, tightening if necessary. DS was about 1/8 bottle fed, and I actually found it easier to bottle feed him in the carrier than to nurse him or bottle feed without the carrier(because you don't need to adjust the position to reach a food source, and because its easy to bottle feed in the carrier and DO something)

we used an exercise ball to bounce to sleep on mommy's back in a mei tai

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#8 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 12:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newmamalizzy View Post
I can't wear her, be it bottle-time, nap time, floor-play time, outside on mommy's lap time, cooking time, DH's time w/her, shower time...
I'd wear dd for all those except floor-play and dh's time.

Okay, it was nursing not bottle nursing for us, but plenty of people feed their babies bottles while the baby's in a sling.

The thing that was easiest to start with was taking a walk. Since it's so hot, maybe just wear her at the grocery store or something?
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#9 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 01:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the feedback and advice. I think the real problem is the wrap. I wore her in it tummy-to-tummy all the time up until about a month ago (DD is 4 mos). Then she just started to hate it and I felt like I couldn't get the wrap right anymore. We've been trying a lot lately, adjusting to her larger size and position preferences. Sometimes it just doesn't work, and I get so frustrated that I want to throw the wrap and the screaming baby out the window But what REALLY makes me want to throw them both out the window is when the wrap tie feels absolutely perfect and I'm SURE I've finally gotten right, and I'm overjoyed, and DD still freaks out. I dance, bounce, take her outside, put on Queen (her favorite), she still screams bloody murder. (This just happened. I'm still seething as DD happily bounces in her chair.)

So now I have a second question, as I'm desperately headed out to buy a used Ergo: Are there babies who just hate to be worn even though they like to be carried? Am I going to spend money and time buying/making all sorts of carriers and she's going to hate them all?
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#10 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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How old is your baby? Is your wrap a stretchy wrap or a woven? I didn't wear much when Alice was teeny, it was so overwhelming trying to learn a new skill and adjust to a new baby, and my first carrier was a stretchy wrap (Gypsy Mama BBS) that was just too much fabric for me to figure out. Definitely takes practice and when they're still in that floppy-head-syndrome stage it can be hard to figure out.

I ended up getting an Ergo when she was 4.5-5 months or so, which we used all the time, then moved into mei tais and ring slings, and finally found the woven wrap love after becoming proficient in using "easier" carriers. I still like to have a buckle carrier around for quick ups and downs, I just got another after not having one for months and it's SUPER easy to use compared to wrapping. If you think a more user-friendly carrier would entice you to wear more, by all means invest in one

I WOH and my DD is a toddler now, but I still wear her when we run errands, outside for walks with the dog, cooking dinner when she needs to cuddle, for naps on the weekend... she'll say "Wap!" and bring me a wrap when she wants up now, it's pretty adorable :

Back carries are key to getting anything done while wearing IME, it's very hard to do anything in a front carry (but you can't back carry with a stretchy wrap like a Moby, it has to be woven or a "hybrid" like the Gypsy Mama). Once I got better at back carries I found myself wearing more because I could get things done while still holding/entertaining DD. I can also rebozo carry with a short wrap and swing her around to my back when I need to use both hands, pretty cool trick to learn once they have good control of their head/body.
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#11 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 01:59 PM
 
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Cross posted with you before.. 4 months is sometimes a tough babywearing age, they want to look around and be independent but aren't quite strong enough to move and be able to see everything. Keep at it, my DD was much more compliant about wearing around maybe 6-7 months and it's only gotten easier from there. You could also try attaching some kind of small toy to the wrap (or the Ergo when you find one) for your DD to play with/chew on, might help keep her occupied
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#12 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 04:42 PM
 
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Hi, I'm in MA too!
Can you get your hands on a used Beco? I'd suggest a back carry at her age, it'll free up your hands to get stuff done and she'll be able to see more. The Beco is super easy for learning to do back carries (you can do it in an Ergo but there's a bit more of a learning curve)
If you can get to Mothers and Company in West Boylston they have a ton of carriers to try out and the staff will help you figure out what you're looking for.

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#13 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 06:01 PM
 
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Don't feel bad! If she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it. We adopted DS when he was 4.5 months and I was determined to wear him all the time so we could bond. Nope. He hated the ring sling, I had a bad shoulder and had trouble getting it right, and ultimately I realized that while he always wanted to be carried/with me, he didn't like feeling so confined by the sling. He'd put up with it when we went grocery shopping, etc., but I never wore him for more than 15 or 20 minutes at a time. Definitely not the "all the time" schedule I wanted! And once he started crawling, it was even less, b/c he'd want up and then down again within minutes so he could crawl. Then after 2 minutes of freedom he'd get lonely and want up again.....
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#14 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 06:07 PM
 
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By 3 mos, we couldn't use the wrap anymore. From 3-4 mos, he wouldn't tolerate any carrier but the stroller. At 4 mos we could go back to a mei tai or RS, but he's never tolerated the moby since.

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#15 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 07:45 PM
 
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I started out with a Moby, but just for walks. I didn't do much the first two months or so, so there wasn't a lot of wearing time. After that we just used it for our walks. I like the Ergo for this stage for our walks and around the grocery store. She doesn't care for being worn around the house, so I don't do that much either.

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#16 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 08:37 PM
 
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With DS2 I literally wore him all the time. Our oldest was less than 2 at the time and so DS2 went in a hotsling everywhere. It was a necessity for me. Going to the mall, grocery store, taking a walk, concerts, park, church ... were all done in a sling and DS1 usually in an umbrella stroller (he is delayed developmentally - so he wasn't really steady walking yet). With my 3rd I used the moby wrap and my mei tai all the time even at home for vacuuming/cleaning up, while playing with the others and for taking long walks with the other 2 in the double stroller.
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#17 of 27 Old 08-11-2010, 09:15 PM
 
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Dd loved to be carried. When I did chores, I wore her in a front carrier when small and in a back carry when she was bigger. The back carry is good for cooking.

We hiked a lot. Often she napped in the carrier (she was a terrible napper on a bed) but she napped better in the stroller. We did errands and she was in the carrier. Literally, if I put her down to play somewhere she would want up.

I used it at night too, when she was awake and would not go to sleep due to teething pain and I would get up and bake or dance or back to sleep.

However, not everyone has that sort of child. In my case, the answer for "when did I use it" was "just about all the time!" Not because I'm crunchier than anyone, just to stop the screaming, really!

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#18 of 27 Old 08-12-2010, 10:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, I'm in MA too!
Can you get your hands on a used Beco? I'd suggest a back carry at her age, it'll free up your hands to get stuff done and she'll be able to see more. The Beco is super easy for learning to do back carries (you can do it in an Ergo but there's a bit more of a learning curve)
If you can get to Mothers and Company in West Boylston they have a ton of carriers to try out and the staff will help you figure out what you're looking for.
Actually, I DID try some at MoCo last week when I went for new mom's group. We tried a Hava ring sling with some success, and Kozy, with less success. I'm in a battle with myself because we can't really afford to buy and I know ring slings and mei tais can be made fairly easily and cheaply - but I'm kind of dreading it and wish I could just buy them. The Ergo I KNOW I can't make Maybe I'll try the Beco when we go on Friday.

As for using the back carry for chores, do you ever feel distant because you can't see her face and vice versa?
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#19 of 27 Old 08-12-2010, 11:53 AM
 
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The forums are down right now, but when they're back up you can look for a used carrier on the For Sale or Trade section of thebabywearer.com. There have been tons of great deals on there lately.
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#20 of 27 Old 08-12-2010, 04:35 PM
 
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Definitely try the Beco, I love a back carry because I can pretty much anything done without worrying about setting the baby on fire or chopping his foot off and he's not laying on the floor crying.

And if you like it check, http://frogmama.com/ I just ordered from there and you can get somethings cheap on clearance and you can try everything for 30 days and return if you don't like it.

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#21 of 27 Old 08-12-2010, 04:41 PM
 
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I am a totally babywearer - the stroller hardly got used with DD, but I didn't wear her all the time. My babies need time to wriggle freely and bat at hanging objects etc. I was adopted at 5mths and had been carried all the time. My mum wore me in a mei tai, but I wasn't even rolling over at 5 mths. Apparently I did it within a week of arriving.

Now that I have 2, I wear DS more around the house and less when out with both if strollering. If it's just DS and me I usually wear him or if DD is going in the shopping cart I will wear him using a wrap or mei tai.

By 4 mths you'll definitely want to master some sort of back carry using a WOVEN (non stretchy) wrap or other thing - mei tai, SSC, etc. Makes life v comfy and easy. Also, so much quicker to pop on in a parking lot than the stroller.

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#22 of 27 Old 08-12-2010, 10:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A taste of success!

We got a good deal on an Ergo today. I put Little Bea in it this evening to walk around outside before bed and she got all drowsy and fell fast asleep - no bouncing to James Taylor, no exhausted wailing and writhing, just calmly drifted off to sleep. I'd almost consider it worth the $75 even if it never happens again. Almost.

Again, thanks to all for your input. It's really helping us out.
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#23 of 27 Old 08-12-2010, 11:49 PM
 
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A taste of success!

We got a good deal on an Ergo today. I put Little Bea in it this evening to walk around outside before bed and she got all drowsy and fell fast asleep - no bouncing to James Taylor, no exhausted wailing and writhing, just calmly drifted off to sleep. I'd almost consider it worth the $75 even if it never happens again. Almost.

Again, thanks to all for your input. It's really helping us out.






Yep, after my dd got to 25 lbs I could not do it with my arms alone. My Ergo was a lifesaver!

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#24 of 27 Old 08-13-2010, 02:33 AM
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DD insisted on always being carried. But she hated the nice wrap, every position. From 4 months onwards we could sometimes get her to accept being in a front-carry, forward-facing, if we went for a walk outside.

My back was shot from carrying her in my arms always.

When she was 8 months old she stopped sleeping in the push chair, and I was at wit's end. A friend lent me her Ergo, and DD went straight to sleep!

So we got a second hand Ergo, and later I made a mei tai. We love it! It is great for calming down a tired baby/child, for long walks, for short walks with a tired one, for putting baby on your back to get some things done (washing, cooking, sorting, moving...), for going out after baby's bedtime...

I think, with DD, that she hated the wraps because she hated having her movement restricted, she couldn't stand swaddling either, and hated getting dressed. An ergo or meitai worked better for her.
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#25 of 27 Old 08-13-2010, 02:44 AM
 
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I only wore my kiddo really as a replacement for the stroller... so when we were at the store.

I found it so AWKWARD and have no idea how people do it all.the.time. I couldn't get anything done because it just felt like she was falling off me or she was in the way so I couldn't do anything without bumping her (yeah, I definitely couldn't do the dishes... it wasn't happenin' with her on my chest.) I had her on RIGHT, of that I was positive... but I just couldn't couldn't DO anything. seriously... maybe my arms are weirdly too short but I couldn't reach around her to do much of anything, especially if she was napping. I'd bump her into counters too trying to do things because I just couldn't reach with her in the way. Thats what it was... she was in the way.

It was frustrating because she just wanted to be on me all the time with me moving so I was exhausted and had a house falling apart so I was totally falling apart.

I certainly couldn't figure out a back carry and I didn't even feel safe CONSIDERING it til she was older... 6-8 months maybe... and by then she was giving me brief moments of no touching time so I just gave up.

I'm really glad you found some success with the ergo... I hope it lasts for you!
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#26 of 27 Old 08-13-2010, 09:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think, with DD, that she hated the wraps because she hated having her movement restricted, she couldn't stand swaddling either, and hated getting dressed. An ergo or meitai worked better for her.
This is EXACTLY like Bea. Even in the hospital she wanted her arms free, AND nothing provokes acrobatics like putting a blanket on her. She'll break milestone barriers to get it off her feet. I think we will try making a mei tai, too.
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#27 of 27 Old 08-13-2010, 10:12 AM
 
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I think you'll have lots of success with the Ergo mama. I'm using a wrap but I have an Ergo that we've used for all the kids. My ds is 4 mo also, and I almost exclusively wear him on my back and sometimes on my hip. The only time I can wear him on the front is if he's really ready for a nap.
For me it's a total necessity because I have two other kids to deal with, so I tend to wear when we're out and about so that both hands are free. The only time I wear him at home is to get him down for a nap or if he wants to be held but I need to make a meal or hang the laundry. He's pretty happy to lay on the floor or sit in his rocking chair and watch all of us otherwise.
The Ergo is awesome for back carries once you get confident getting your LO back there, but it sits quite low. That's why I've been using (woven) wraps, I can get him nice and high so he can see over my shoulder which tends to keep him happier about being up there. Because sometimes he doesn't have a choice, lol!

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