Sick of "Safety Concern" comments about Sling in Public - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 26 Old 03-20-2004, 06:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am finally and officially sick of having people make comments regarding the safety of my sling when I'm out in public. I always try to stay open, polite, friendly and take it as an opportunity to educate the general public about slings so they won't ask the next slingwearin' mama the same thing. Today, however, was not that day! First they wondered if he could fall out. "Can that slip through the rings?" "Is that only under his bottom, nothing through his legs?" "Can he fall out?" I stayed calm through this whole series of questions but couldn't help but think, "If this were dangerous in any way, would I really be doing it?" But then they asked the question that just really irritated me (He was sound asleep inside of the sling)"Can he breath in there?" "Is he breathing?" They actually try to pull the sling away from his whole face/head area and seemed to think he might actually be dead! So I said, with a big friendly smile still on may face, "No, I just usually let him suffocate and die in there." They laughed a little but I could tell they still thought I was crazy. Anyway, does anyone else run into this? Does it end up irritating you. How many years of questions does it take until you finally get sick of it? I even thought of really trying to scare them by telling them that I also have my babies at home, sleep with them in my bed and nurse them for years. I'm sure they would've thought I had a death wish for my children. Anyway, thanks for listening. Please, tell me I'm not the only one this happens to.
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#2 of 26 Old 03-20-2004, 06:59 PM
 
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Hee hee! I get that too, and just point to my older daughter and comment that she didn't get too many head injuries when she was a babe. I get irritated if I'm grouchy, but, like you, I also like to educate about slings.
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#3 of 26 Old 03-20-2004, 07:03 PM
 
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you're not alone! We all get it/got it.

I actually would ask people "do you think I would just let her fall into the street on a regular basis? do I look that stupid?" And then I'd at them.
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#4 of 26 Old 03-20-2004, 07:47 PM
 
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I was on the bus with dd in the Maya Wrap one day, when I heard the woman seated across from me say loudly to her companion that she "wouldn't use one of those things - don't trust em - always had my kids in the stroller or in my arms."

Then she went on to talk about how her 10-year-old had been kicked out of two schools for fighting, and how she couldn't wait till her 17-year-old moved out so she could send the 13-year-old to live with her. :
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#5 of 26 Old 03-20-2004, 08:24 PM
 
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I get questions, but it's usually - doesn't it hurt your back or don't they get heavy. Most of the time I get really positive comments- the best one being 'wow, did you come up with that yourself?' when asking about the maya wrap. Don't I wish?????

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#6 of 26 Old 03-20-2004, 09:10 PM
 
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That's too bad that people would say things like that! I mean, let's think about it - a baby could fall out of your arms easier than one of those slings! Especially as they get older and squirmier. I just wish I had tried/known about them sooner - my son would have nothing to do with it once I finally got one - too set in his ways of looking up and over my shoulder. Next baby gets one right out of the womb.
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#7 of 26 Old 03-20-2004, 09:33 PM
 
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I just smile and say that I've carried three kids that way and there have never been any accidents or injuries. If I have time, I tell the story of how my husband almost had a nervous breakdown putting the stroller in the car the first time.

It does look a little scary, I suppose. I'm not one to question anything another parent does, except hitting, but I am polite about it. Some people are just curious and some people are just jerks. I can usually tell the difference.
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#8 of 26 Old 03-21-2004, 02:54 AM
 
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I always get the "Oh, those things are so neat, I wish they had them when my children were babies" Or "Hey, I'd love to be carried around like that" comments. It seems to be older women who have given me negative comments with my first daughter.
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#9 of 26 Old 03-21-2004, 03:30 AM
 
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the one i get most is: "she looks really squished in there. is she comfortable?"
i always wonder if they've EVER been around children before-- believe me, if she was uncomfortable, she'd let me know!
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#10 of 26 Old 03-21-2004, 10:10 AM
 
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Some a**hole on a plane once said to me, "can't he slip out of that thing?" I simply said..."No." Hard to argue with that!

"We shape the clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want" Lao Tzu
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#11 of 26 Old 03-21-2004, 11:41 AM
 
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Yesterday my grandmother actually said, "Don't let him fall out." Like I would let him fall out.: Of course when he had a gassy tummy she also told me I may have to switch to formula. She is also the one who told me when dd was a babe that I needed to get with the times and use sposies. : I try to educate her, but sometimes I feel like I'm just to myself.

In public, most reactions I get are positive. When I tell people I made my sling, they often ask if they can order one, for self or other.
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#12 of 26 Old 03-21-2004, 12:48 PM
 
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Oh lordy! People have been using slings for HOW long?! In other countries you see women with just long pieces of cloth tied in a knot keeping thier baby in place.
I can't believe you get bothered. People seemed amused and amazed when I wear mine. [I don't think anyone here has ever seen one before!!]
One time a guy said to my boyfriend "That's the only way to carry children, in my opinion." *shrug*


I hope you don't explode!

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#13 of 26 Old 03-21-2004, 06:12 PM
 
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Yeah, I got "isn't she squished in there?" and "can she breathe?" all the time with dd. At least with this baby I'll have evidence to point to - look, I have a three year old who rode in the sling for years and survived!

My favorite was from an anti-AP mom at church who predicted that dd would be a late walker because I never let her down to use her muscles. Dd walked before 10 months.

Usually I just smiled and said, "Oh, if she was uncomfortable, she'd let me know!"

I did often have grandmas stop me and ask where they could get one like it for their daughters/DIL. I used to have people jotting down the phone number from my New Native like once a week. Now it's too faded to read - I guess I'll have to direct them to the website! I felt like I should get a commission!

Can't give up actin' tough, it's all that I'm made of. Can't scrape together quite enough to ride the bus to the outskirts of the fact that I need love. ~ Neko Case

 
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#14 of 26 Old 03-21-2004, 06:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, I do definately get more curious/intrigued/compliment comments than negative ones. After years of giving polite responses to the rude comments though, I just finally got irritated. I have a handmade sling that I picked my own fabric for and it has an open tail, so it is pretty unique looking. I've even had people ask me if I'm from Africa and things like that. I take it as a compliment. As you can tell from my "name," I love being a natural mama!

Don't worry, I won't explode! (But I might help people see the stupidity of some of the statements they choose to make to me!:LOL )
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#15 of 26 Old 03-22-2004, 03:38 AM
 
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Both my slings and Kozy elicit comments all the time. Today, for example, there were some men shooting baskets at my apartment complex's basketball court. I stood watching, then they asked me if I wanted to join in. I said sure, and proceeded to jump around catching and throwing the basketball. One of them asked me if DD was comfortable (she was on my back in the Kozy). I said sure, she's loving it, which she was, she'd been getting really cranky and restless for me to get my butt off the couch and DO something besides stare at her, lol!

I get a lot of "Isn't she hot?" with this heat wave.

Which is stupid because when it's over ninety, you're gonna be hot no matter what, and being strapped to mama by a cotton carrier w/ boob in reach is better than sitting in a synthetic fabric stroller getting dehydrated. You're gonna be hot either way!

breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!

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#16 of 26 Old 03-22-2004, 07:44 AM
 
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I get comments about the sling all the time. Most of them are positive.

I had one lady say, 'There arent any straps on it?' , 'She could fall out then?' Well, no. I was really lacking in patience that day and she had already irritated me by calling DD a lovely BOY! So I said 'Do you really think I would carry her in something she could fall out of!' and walked off.

Most of the nice comments come from older ladies and most of the negative comments/looks come from mums with small children. I dont really understand why?
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#17 of 26 Old 03-22-2004, 02:58 PM
 
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The only questions I ever got were from DH who used to say she looked squish and like she couldn't breathe. He wears the sling more than I do now

I DO hate when people I don't know lean in a pull the sling aside to look at my DD. I'm not a germaphobe but ewwwwwwwwww.
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#18 of 26 Old 03-23-2004, 03:02 AM
 
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This should make y'all smile.

one funny

fixed the link -- try this one

Moving this to the new BABYWEARING forum!!! :bf

Wheeeeeeee!


xoxox pamela
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#19 of 26 Old 03-23-2004, 06:36 AM
 
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I've only had positive comments especially from older women and men who say they wish they'd had one when they had littlies. I even ended up carrying brochures for hug-a-bub I was asked so many times "where do I get one?"!
Louise in Oz
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#20 of 26 Old 03-23-2004, 09:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by EllasMummy

Most of the nice comments come from older ladies and most of the negative comments/looks come from mums with small children. I dont really understand why?
i find that new moms look at us all relaxed and our babies all relaxed and get secretly jealous - or they feel like they aren't doing something right so they resent us. older women don't have that chip on their shoulders.

what i find great with my sling is EVERY time i wear one somewhere and i am alone with my boys - i get hit on by guys like crazy!!! :LOL the first time i thought it was a fluke - but when it started happening regularly i knew it was the sling! my big joke now is whenever my single friends and family members whine about not having a guy - i offer to loan them my slings!
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#21 of 26 Old 03-23-2004, 10:03 AM
 
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pamalamama - the first one is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your second link doesn't work


www.thebabywearer.com had a contest recently to design a babywearing logo. you have to check out the winner and the other entries! they are great! they will be offering the designs for sale soon - i can't wait!!! they should be shut some people up!!


for the most part - i get nice positive comments. the only time i got a negative comment was when i tried to leave ds in the nursery at church for 10 minutes while i finished up a class and he wanted to be held by the women. when i can back - they said - he was a little fussy but once he picked him up he was fine. its because you are always holding him...

yeah - well tough!
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#22 of 26 Old 03-23-2004, 08:55 PM
 
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I've had pretty much all the same comments mentioned here already. I've had good and bad comments. Most of the time it was good ones, but then the occasional *She seems so squished in there* etc. Luckily I don't tire of peoples constant questions that easily

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#23 of 26 Old 03-23-2004, 10:03 PM
 
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I'm lucky, I live in Alaska and baby wearing is extremely common - it's super simple here. Native Alaskan Mothers, sisters, anyone will just put baby on thier back, put on thier oversized coat & away they go... no slings!! I however, use a Kangaroo Korner fleece pouch - I like having DS up front. However if we're going to be out a long time I do put him in the backpack carrier because it's easier on me & I don't have to carry all his junk separately - but that's not often.

I think that since Baby Bjorns are getting so common that it's becoming a more 'mainstream' concept. People that are familiar with them really have nice things to say about my pouch since it distributes DS weight more evenly, he has more options for positioins & it's easier to get in/out.

I'm so sorry for all of you that are getting negative comments. I'm sure I'll get some along the way *sigh*

Alaskan Mom to 2 boys
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#24 of 26 Old 03-23-2004, 10:26 PM
 
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I so hear you. Peoplemake comments on everything from "can she breathe okkay to waon't that spoil her?" " can't she fall out " " your back's gonna kill you when you get older" I hate when people comment on things they know nothing abou!:
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#25 of 26 Old 03-24-2004, 03:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by EllasMummy


Most of the nice comments come from older ladies and most of the negative comments/looks come from mums with small children. I dont really understand why?
Me too!! WHY is that?? Seems all the grandmas love the sling idea, all the younger people think its stupid. I get the "can he breathe?'' comment. No you moron, I dont let my baby breathe....:
People stare at me like I have 2 heads, drives me crazy!!!!!

OH!!! But I was in the sewing machin shop one day, and the guy who owns the place said, "nice sling" did you know theres a lady in Boise who had an idea like that and makes Hip Hammocks?"
Isnt that cool? This older guy knew about slings and hip hammocks!!, LOL
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#26 of 26 Old 03-24-2004, 10:33 AM
 
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I have gotten lots of positive comments, but that was mostly all when I was wearing my older ds. Wearing my newborn has been creating quite a stir. I know my face turned red with anger when I was asked 'isn't he sufficating' last week while shopping. Yeah, I don't like him to breathe on a regular basis. :

Carrie, mom to Johnathan (7-02), Brodie (2-04), Kate (12-06), Jordan (9-08), (4-09) & Maggie (3-10)
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