Comebacks for Negative Sling Comments - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 49 Old 03-27-2004, 05:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally posted by mommaof3
"it's the way that women have been holding their children since the beginning of time".
I love that one! I also love that you and your SIL were carrying eachother's kids. How sweet and wonderful! Thanks for sharing!
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#32 of 49 Old 03-27-2004, 01:54 PM
 
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i wanted to add a post saying i do get positive comments, all of the time. like punky, i live in a progressive area, where a baby in any sort of sling is pretty commonplace. thats is why negative comments are so shocking to me!

the most wonderful comments *ever* was from a vey old man in chinatown. i was wearing my sleeping son in an embroidered meitai i had just purchased. We went into the little store where this man was, and he said many things in cantonese to a woman. The proceeded to try and translate what they said, and asked , in broken english:

"how much did you pay for that (meitai)?"

and i said, 'oh, about 30 dollars'

and he said, "see, you pay only $30 for your child to have a long happy life filled with love!"

whenever tristan and i frequent chinatown in the meitai, we get nothing but the most adoring looks and comments from a people whose own children have mostly abandoned the practice in our country. it is shocking to walk up and down the hills of SF, wearing and nursing my son, and to look across the street at another family with a giant plastic stroller and bottles and big diaper bags and crying babies, pushing it all up the concrete hill!

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#33 of 49 Old 03-27-2004, 02:02 PM
 
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Mine wasn't so negative, it was a college kid who nudged her friend and in this really wistful voice, *I wish someone would carry me around like that...* Like she didn't get enough lovin' when she was little. I just smiled at her.

Otherwise I do get the, isn't she getting too big and heavy to carry around...and I reply she gains gradually, my muscles strengthen gradually.
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#34 of 49 Old 03-27-2004, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by tabitha
"see, you pay only $30 for your child to have a long happy life filled with love!"
Awwww! You guys are getting me all mushy! These stories are so sweet!
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#35 of 49 Old 03-27-2004, 11:43 PM
 
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I posted a thread a while back about being a "freak" with my hug a bub. I got some great advice and then I got a wonderful comment right after that and it changed my whole attitude.

This older hippy lady was going on about my lovely looking sling and asking about it. Then, she touches my baby and says "you are the luckiest little boy in the whole world to have a mommy that loves you so much". It seriously brought tears to my eyes.

Anyway, I try to remember that comment whenever I hear negative or wierd remarks. The one thing that cracks me up was my daughter's friend flipping out in the mall because "it scares me when you hold your baby like that, it gives me chills". She is eight and I think she thought I was going to drop him.

I have converted several moms on the hug a bub in our small southern backward town. I have one mom that is going to have another baby and wants a hug a bub. She was convinced she couldn't have another baby because the first on had reflux and she couldn't deal with a toddler and a possible reflux baby. She actually got on the website and is now talking about having another baby. I converted her because it was how I dealt with Leland's reflux.

I just love to sling. I am sad I didn't do this with my other three, just think of the things I could have gotten done!
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#36 of 49 Old 03-28-2004, 12:39 AM
 
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An African man (I think, from his accent) in Halifax Canada told me, with a big smile, that it reminded him of when he was a kid, that everyone used them where he was from, he'd never seen one here before.

I get positive, curious, and negative comments of all sorts...mostly I just laugh at the negative. Like "if it was uncomfortable/too hot/suffocating, don't you think she'd let me know? She's quick to tell me every *other* time she's unhappy!" or "wouldn't you like napping in a hammock?"
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#37 of 49 Old 03-28-2004, 12:43 AM
 
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I have had the "can she breathe in there?" comment and...if I had the guts, my reply would be:

"Oh, no. Oxygen deprivation is an integral part of my parenting philosophy."

But, as Pam says, you catch more flies with honey, and I'm usually all about gushing to people how great babywearing is.

I've already practiced my response to anybody who makes any stupid comments about spoiling them. "Who told you that nonsense?".

If people say it nicely though, I say "I hope so" or "of course she is!", something like that.

Mostly though, I too had lots of great comments and people asking me where they could buy one.

What I'm REALLY excited about with this baby is showing people how wonderful slings can be when you have a toddler. At the playground there's always this row of baby buckets left on the bench while mamas tend to their toddlers. I'll show 'em!

one other response: "What do you think people used to do before they invented strollers?"

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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#38 of 49 Old 03-28-2004, 02:33 AM
 
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The only ones I've gotten are the "I wish I could have a ride" from men who wink and "Can he breathe?".

Now that ds is bigger I use the Kozy Carrier because otherwise I walk lopsided.

Quote:
Mine wasn't so negative, it was a college kid who nudged her friend and in this really wistful voice, *I wish someone would carry me around like that...* Like she didn't get enough lovin' when she was little. I just smiled at her.
Yeah, it's part of the raised on bottles, in a crib, in a stroller, hurry up and grow up to be independent way of child-rearing. Somewhere I saw a quote where they were saying maybe the reason so many people freak out about NIP is because they never had their chance to BE nursed!

eta: here's the quote!

"So what is it about this small gland of postnatal nourishment that puts a great nation in a dither? Perhaps the problem has to do with generations of men who didn't get enough nipple when it really counted." (O'Brien, 1995)
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#39 of 49 Old 03-28-2004, 08:31 PM
 
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I've never had any really negative comments, but I've had lots of ignorant ones. I think the best one was when I was walking through the airport with my 6 mo dd. She was sitting crosslegged frontwards in the Maya Wrap just as happy as a bug. An older woman approached me and asked "Isn't that uncomfortable for her? Doesn't that hurt her to sit like that?" I replied, "What do babies do when they are unhappy? They cry! Is she crying? No! She's happy and content!" The woman said, "I guess you're right. She does look pretty happy like that."

I went into Wal-Mart one day for a quick in-out trip. It ended up taking me about an hour, because so many people (lots of dads, even!) stopped me to ask me about my MW. Comments included how easy it looked to shop with a toddler and a baby, how comfortable dd looked, and how nice it was for me to have my hands free.

Mostly, I just try to point out how happy and content the baby is, and how much easier it is on me to carry the baby.
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#40 of 49 Old 03-29-2004, 12:25 AM
 
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I had a really dumb comment while wearing my 16 month old daughter in the Mei Tai at Walmart. The lady looked at me in horror and then turned to her friend and said "she's just dangling there. Why would you do that to your child!" And the other woman said "That can't be safe!" I didn't even bother commenting, just walked away. The main one I get is "That must really hurt your back!" to which I reply, "actually no it doesn't at all", and try to explain about the carrier but usually they don't care.

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#41 of 49 Old 03-30-2004, 03:27 AM
 
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my husband's 87 yo g'mother adoopted all 6 of her children, and is not totally comfortable w/the notion of people emerging from vaginas in the nude, etc.... so when she first saw my week old ds in his sling, she was worried about him being all "crumpled up" in there! i pointed out the obvious, but it took her a while to realize that's how he'd just spent the first 9(and a half)mos of his life. when he began walking at 9 mos of age, she was so relieved to see that no lasting "damage" had been done.
the other comment i get alot is "is he comfortable in there?" to which i reply "do you hear him crying?" or "he's sleeping, isn't he?"
almost forgot this gem...men ask if they get a turn to ride next. i could really use a sarcastic comeback for that one! something that hints at a lack of manhood, perhaps?
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#42 of 49 Old 03-30-2004, 05:02 AM
 
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My mom was the one always asking me if DS could breathe, and then PULLING on the edge of the sling to see him. Yikes, not comfortable for me. From strangers I mostly got positive comments or questions about where they could buy one for themselves/their pregnant friend.

I used to wear DS in the Didymos in the cross carry position most of the time, so his face was always in my cleavage. I got a lot of "lucky baby" comments with a wistful look from men. :LOL
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#43 of 49 Old 03-30-2004, 04:26 PM
 
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lol, Roxy......I get that too...to which I usually respond....."Hey, if you can get in it....I'll carry you." That usually gets a big laugh

I ALWAYS get the......"Boy, they didn't have those when I had kids..." comment. To which I cannot help but respond....all cultures have carried their babies with a piece of cloth in some fashion since the beginning of time....old-fashioned wisdom never goes out of style. To which, older people usually smile their agreeance.

You certainly DO catch more flies with honey.....and I'm all about catchin' flies

Lisa
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#44 of 49 Old 03-30-2004, 11:36 PM
 
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Interesting thread... i've never had a negative comment made to me about my baby wearing. I'm often asked where I bought my sling and if it is comfortable for me to wear.

Married to my high school sweetheart. We have four awesome kids.
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#45 of 49 Old 03-31-2004, 02:55 AM
 
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thi

this was an interesting read. i can't recall any truly negative comments about my slinging either of my girls. i do get a lot of comments or compliments on my slind and kozy. comments about how they wished that there was something like that around when they had kids, or does that hurt your back? or how long can you use that? mostly people want to know where they can get one. when i have either of my girls in the kozy someone always asks where i got it !!! i often feel like an odd ball, but when i look at moms with babes in strollers and the babe is screaming to get out, i suddenly feel superior because my girls are content, and hey i'm getting some exercise at the same time
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#46 of 49 Old 03-31-2004, 06:42 PM
 
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Like so many mamas in this thread before me, again, no negative comments here, just the "wow! I wish they had those when I had a kid" : comments. But usually I just get lots of props!

I got some props from a middle-aged Somali man and his mother at the bank--they couldn't believe that someone was wearing a baby (Maya Wrap Sling) and asked if I'd made my sling, and that babywearing is what everyone does back home...

...and the grandmotherly woman mentioned a few times that babies are worn on backs, and so I asked her to help me put my 7 mo old on my back, and she did, and it was oh-so cool and inter-cultural and neat-o!

- - - -

The other day I was at the park w/ ds in my hug-a-bub, and an 8-year-old boy asked me "if I was going to have a baby" as in, he thought I was pregnant. I showed him baby's face and explained I already had a baby.
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#47 of 49 Old 04-01-2004, 02:13 AM
 
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I don't think I've gotten any rude comments....

I used to nanny an infant, and I would bring a MW to use. His parents would always tell me "You can just put him in the bouncer/saucer/swing/playpen/babyGym!" : To which I would sweetly explain that I liked holding him close, and that he liked it too. I got pretty attached to that baby for the 5 months I worked there, and I think it's cause of all the slinging!

Mostly, people just stop and ask me about the MW, where did I get it, do I like it, is it comfy, etc...
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#48 of 49 Old 04-01-2004, 02:24 AM
 
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I have had mostly interest and smiles. But when Garrett was about 5 wks old we went to the Renaisance Fair. He was in the Maya and the person taking tickets thought maybe I was trying to sneak a dog in. We are a funky bunch that go to ren fairs....
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#49 of 49 Old 04-01-2004, 02:24 AM
 
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PS Garrett slept all day and had to be woken to nurse couse I was gonna explode! Love that sling.
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