Comebacks for Negative Sling Comments - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 49 Old 03-24-2004, 11:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There's been a lot of discussion in the forum lately about strangers (and non strangers too) making rude, hurtful, ignorant and downright bizarre comments when they see us wearing our babies. While our main goal is to be close to our babies, we also set a great example and educate simply by babywearing in public. Sometimes though, we just get fed up with the comments and have a really good comeback for them. So, for entertainment and educational purposes please share your comebacks on this thread (include the comment that was made first of course). Whether they're helpful, constructive comebacks designed to educate or smart aleck, sarcastic comments designed to "help" others rethink what they just said to us, let's hear 'em!

*My most recent one was on the "Sick of Safety Concern..." thread. When two women thought my baby couldn't and wasn't breathing in the sling and started moving it away from his head and face to look (they seemed to think he was dead) asking, "Can he breath in there, Is he breathing?" I replied (while smiling politely), "Oh no, I just like to let him suffocate and die in there." It was the first sarcastic comment I ever made in response to sling comments.

Now, let's hear yours...
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#2 of 49 Old 03-24-2004, 11:53 PM
 
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I look forward to hearing others comments.

When a very uninformed younger mother asked wherever did I come up with the idea of carrying my baby like that. I told her how most other cultures wear their babies in fabric of some sort.

i was trying to sound smart, but guess it didnt matter because she just told me how easy it was to carry her baby around in the carseat.:
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#3 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 12:18 AM
 
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I had a cousin who once remarked, over a family reunion weekend, that I looked like I belonged out in the fields...which I thought was just weird (and frankly a bit classist)...

By the end of the weekend, after observing me with 7 mo Xiney in the sling, told me that he wanted one and could see how handy it would be.

I think sometimes when people make stupid comments it is out of ignorance and not knowing how to express it..instead they want to cover it up with weird humor.

-beth (who just posted here for the first time ;-)..hi pam)
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#4 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 01:49 AM
 
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My favorite (after the "can he breathe in there" comment : ) was my grandma who said I might as well not bother making another MW, as I wouldn't be able to carry him "that way" for much longer anyway?? : This was several months ago, too.

I think I muttered something about if I could carry him I could sling him, but geeezzz... This was the same conversation she said "ohhh, you don't want to do that" in response to my comment that I knew people who bfed for several years...you see -- her sister did that and her sons ended up "wierd." Although a couple of them are -- I hardly think it is to do with bfing a toddler!

So I guess I'd better make my ds walk everywhere as he IS an entire year old now, afterall. And he needs some cow's milk ASAP -- I mean I don't want to go overboard on all that bfing stuff, ya know. :



Ahem...I think I may have strayed from the topic a bit...
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#5 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 02:03 AM
 
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Let the Snark-fest begin!! :LOL

Now mamas, don't you think we'll catch more flies with honey??
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#6 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 02:07 AM
 
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Oh and HI BETHY!!!! mwahmwah!!!

OT: Beth and I are friends in real life... when we first met I spotted her right away... the other mama in Borders wearing a sleeping baby in a maya wrap!! Love at first sight.
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#7 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 02:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by pamelamama
Let the Snark-fest begin!! :LOL

Now mamas, don't you think we'll catch more flies with honey??
:LOL I'm kinda miserable with a cold right now & my dh commented that he forgot he needs to "tread lightly" when I'm not feeling well...apparently I get rather testy...
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#8 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 02:44 AM
 
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Just tonight I had someone compliment me on my sling and how neat she thought it was. She turned to the lady that was with her and said 'isn't that neat?'. The lady turned to me and said 'oh, I thought you were carrying a baby doll'. I told her I thought I was a little old to be playing with dolls! :LOL

Carrie, mom to Johnathan (7-02), Brodie (2-04), Kate (12-06), Jordan (9-08), (4-09) & Maggie (3-10)
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#9 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 02:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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[i]'oh, I thought you were carrying a baby doll'. I told her I thought I was a little old to be playing with dolls! :LOL [/B]
:LOL What did she say to that? :LOL
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#10 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 04:01 AM
 
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WOw, I usually get only really postive comments on my slings. I get a lot of wierd looks too but nothing negative as of yet. However the one thing I hear a lot from mothers with babies a little older is "I always wanted to sling my baby but now he's too heavy". I tell them lots of people carry around their 2 or 3 or 4 (ok maybe thats pushing it) year olds around.
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#11 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 09:59 AM
 
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About the playing with doll comment, the lady just looked at me for a second and then starting going on about how she would be scared she would drop him or hit his head or ..... It was a lost cause. I just tried to finish paying for my groceries without getting too upset.

Carrie, mom to Johnathan (7-02), Brodie (2-04), Kate (12-06), Jordan (9-08), (4-09) & Maggie (3-10)
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#12 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 10:51 AM
 
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I have been asked if I was carrying a beachball and kittens : I've also been asked if Mac could breathe. I go into a long speal about babyearing and all the benefits and usually dont ease up until they are babywearin belivers. I keep babywearing information pamflets in the diaperbag or my purse for situations like these (and some bussiness cards of course )

Mostly I get good comments about how neat it looks and how content my daughter is.

Mom to Joscelyne 14, Andrew 12, and Mackenzie 10 and wife to Nate.
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#13 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 12:47 PM
 
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Just the other day at the store a woman said "oh my goodness aren't you afraid you'll drop her? I would never do that to my child" : I was wearing her in the heart 2 heart.

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#14 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 01:25 PM
 
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Recently I got a comment that stumped me.... a man walked by while I was carrying my 11 m/o in a mei tai while he was sleeping and he said: "Now thats cheating."
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#15 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 01:31 PM
 
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I wore DS to a meeting last night and one of the other women there( who has a 8week old DD) asked me " HOw many of those things to you have? " (at every meeting I have on a different sling :LOL )

I said " As many as I can get! For something I use everyday they are worth every penny " She replied " I guess so, I hadn't thought about it

I LOVE showing off my slings. NOw I just need to get more more more :LOL :LOL
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#16 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 01:37 PM
 
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When we used to wear the baby in a Kelty carrier (a front carrier, like a Baby bjorn or Snuggli) we went out for ice cream. A college student nudged his buddy, all excited, and said "Did you see? There's a little baby in that backpack thing!"

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#17 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 02:52 PM
 
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I have had mostly positive comments, like, "that's a pretty clever contraption! Where did you get it?" The only negative comment I can think of that I've gotten was someone saying that my daughter was too old to be carried "like that". I just looked at her like what kind of weird planet are you from? and said, "no, atually, she's not."
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#18 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 02:55 PM
 
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Oh yeah, and I have had people say that they would be concerned that their baby would fall out, I didn't take that as a criticism, though, they genuinely seemed to want to know how it could possibly work. So I just showed them how secure it is.
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#19 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 03:24 PM
 
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It's funny beacuse when I hip carry a toddler in the sling I always get all positive comments, but when I have a little baby cradled I have gotten more questions, although never an outright negative comment that I can remember. Once on a train one of the women working said "I wish they had things like that when my babies were little" and I said "They did. Ever seen a National Geographic?" in a friendly way. She laughed and said she never thought of that.

A customer of mine told me the other day she went in Walmart with her month-old preemie in the MW and the greeter stopped her and said "Is that a dog? You can't bring a dog in here." She said it wasn't a dog and the lady said "Well what is it then?" She was very surprised to see a baby

The only kind of negative thing is when members of the bottle-proppers-R-us school tell me I will spoil the baby. I always just say "Babies can't get too much love."
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#20 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 04:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by MamaAllNatural
When two women thought my baby couldn't and wasn't breathing in the sling and started moving it away from his head and face to look (they seemed to think he was dead) asking, "Can he breath in there, Is he breathing?" I replied (while smiling politely), "Oh no, I just like to let him suffocate and die in there." It was the first sarcastic comment I ever made in response to sling comments.

Now, let's hear yours...
I just visited this forum for the first time yesterday, and when I read this I thought to myself, 'OMG, if someone did that to me, I'd be just flabbergasted and appalled'. Then I go out today with DS in the sling, and someone stops me and says the EXACT same thing to me!!! How ironic. I used your exact comeback because I got all furious and my mind went blank and it was the only thing that I could think of!

Just wanted to share that out here in Finland, someone appreciated this thread!
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#21 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 08:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Butterflymom
I just visited this forum for the first time yesterday, and when I read this I thought to myself, 'OMG, if someone did that to me, I'd be just flabbergasted and appalled'. Then I go out today with DS in the sling, and someone stops me and says the EXACT same thing to me!!! How ironic. I used your exact comeback because I got all furious and my mind went blank and it was the only thing that I could think of!

Just wanted to share that out here in Finland, someone appreciated this thread!
:LOL Thank you so much for sharing! That is exactly why I started this thread. So that mamas who are at a loss for words will have something constructive or clever to say! I'm so glad it worked for you. especially all the way in Finland! So ironic!:LOL
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#22 of 49 Old 03-25-2004, 09:23 PM
 
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You know, I think my sarcasm (subtle as it was :LOL ) was actually lost in the translation, because he didn't blink and just continued smiling and said, 'Oh Good' without much comprehension. Maybe he didn't understand what I said at all. *sigh* It was my first negative comment ever. I wish I wasn't such a freak with my sling....for the sake of all those babies out there who would love all the closeness that comes with babywearing.
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#23 of 49 Old 03-26-2004, 04:05 AM
 
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I used to get a lot of the "can she breathe in there?" questions. Never really anything but positive comments and the above, which was just made out of concern for DD.

The best comeback I ever had wasn't even a verbal one!

We were at a church convention this past fall, and I had just learned how to nurse Rachel in the sling. Well, everyone seemed to have missed seeing babies in a long time, because we got a lot of attention. Flash forward to the second day...I'm nursing Rachel in the sling and this little grandma comes up to me (I had never even met this woman before), says "Let me see the baby" (thinking that Rachel was sleeping) and PULLS THE SLING'S TAIL UP TO SEE....well, she put the tail back pretty darn quick, turned red and practically ran away, apologizing as she went. I just about busted a gut trying to keep from laughing!!! Ah...that's my favorite "comeback."

Momma to the monkeys three
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#24 of 49 Old 03-26-2004, 06:52 PM
 
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I had an employee at a retail store say "aren'y you afraid he's going to fall out? I'd be afraid." "No, he's only fallen out a few times and he seems to be ok.":

OK. I didn't say that because I was a tired, new mom and all snarkiness had been left at home for some reason. But, if anyone says it again I have my comeback ready!

My friends all love it. Can't wait to have their own babes to sling!
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#25 of 49 Old 03-26-2004, 07:02 PM
 
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i have , for sure, gotten some weird comments.. especially from the very old american women.

the meanest comment, IMO, which i get all of the time and doesnt seem so mean on the surface, is:

"Gee, i wish someone would haul me around like that!"

or several variations, including:

(addressing my son) "Well arent you just spoiled?"

"well dont we all just wish we had it so easy"

and so on.

Recently, though, as my large belly pokes our under the straps of a sling, i get the 'oncerned' looks and comments like,

"You shouldnt be carrying that boy, youll kill the new baby!", or
" Hes gotta learn sometime you wont be carrying him after the new one comes!"

grrrr.

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#26 of 49 Old 03-26-2004, 10:09 PM
 
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I have never heard one single negative comment about my baby in the sling. Actually, it's always the other way around, strangers are always coming up to me and asking me about the sling or telling me how cool they think it is!
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#27 of 49 Old 03-27-2004, 01:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by SMPH
I had an employee at a retail store say "aren'y you afraid he's going to fall out? I'd be afraid." "No, he's only fallen out a few times and he seems to be ok.":
Sadly, I can vouch for this as to my own ds: once I whacked his head into the fridge while wearing him in a Maya Wrap and once he fell out of the Baby Bundler when I bent over and didn't have a good grip on him.

Generally I get the "I wish someone would carry me around like that" or "Can I have a ride next" comments, but they usually seem to be friendly and not hostile.

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#28 of 49 Old 03-27-2004, 01:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Quirky
Generally I get the "I wish someone would carry me around like that" or "Can I have a ride next" comments, but they usually seem to be friendly and not hostile.
Okay, I have to 'fess up...I've been heard telling my ds "gee it must be difficult for you being carried around all day having your every wish attended to" when he's fussy & I'm irritated... I s'pose it's my way of not yelling, lol -- sarcasm...that's great for a kid :
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#29 of 49 Old 03-27-2004, 02:34 AM
 
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i guess i've been lucky- i've never had a rude comment. when the babies were smaller though, we would frequently get little old ladies just outright walking over and peeking in and saying. "now what do you have in there?" :LOL i loved it!! but i do live in seattle, where one tends to see plenty of babies being worn
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#30 of 49 Old 03-27-2004, 05:00 AM
 
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I was wearing my 3 year old neice (and my SIL was wearing my 2 year old) and an older lady came up to us and asked "now what is that new-fangled thing that you're holding those girls with?" and my SIL replied "it's the way that women have been holding their children since the beginning of time".
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