35 weeks pregnant - I don't think I need a stroller, and everyone is telling me I'm crazy - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 35 Old 04-21-2011, 10:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm pretty sure I can babywear all the time. Are there situations where it's really advantageous to have a stroller?

How do you explain this to people?

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#2 of 35 Old 04-21-2011, 11:08 PM
 
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Much of the equation is going to depend on the temperament of your child. If they fall asleep in the car will they transition easily to a wrap/sling? Some do some don't. If they don't than having the bucket pop into a stroller means you get time to yourself (sort of) while they baby sleeps.

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#3 of 35 Old 04-21-2011, 11:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! This seems like great advice, and fits with the approach I'm taking, which is "buy a stroller if it becomes apparent that I need one".

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#4 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 04:11 AM
 
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We started out with no stroller and got one when DS was 4 mos. He ended up hating it for a while, but we've gotten lots of use out of it since he was about a year. No reason you can't wait to get a big purchase like a stroller.


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#5 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 07:45 AM
 
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i still wear ds (12 months) and have never used a stroller.

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#6 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 07:46 AM
 
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We only got a stroller to tote around the crap.  Extra jackets, shopping bags, etc.  LOL, now I remember, we got it to tote stuff around in the airport when I was traveling with babe alone (a cheap umbrella stroller, so DD was probably about 6mo old, not a newborn).  It did come in handy after that, but I wore the actual baby all the time.


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#7 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 08:25 AM
 
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We walk everywhere & have definitely found a stroller to be a useful hauling tool, for both baby & other items. I'm not sure how happy I would have been carrying a baby AND groceries. Depends on your lifestyle, I'd say. And like a PP said, you can always get one later. We didn't get ours until after the baby was born. I ended up having a c-section, which impacted the necessary baby items. Healing from surgery impairs one's mobility, and who knew you used abs for *everything*?!? For me, I wouldn't have gotten out of the house without the stroller, at least not as soon as I did. I also bought myself a sling during pregnancy, but found it hurt my shoulders with baby in it, and felt precarious. I had to do a lot of searching, post-baby, before I found the perfect one. Over the last year, I've used a combination of stroller, snugli-type carrier & backpack.

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#8 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 08:38 AM
 
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A couple situations where it's nice to have a stroller...some may have already been mentioned:

*If you're going to be carrying around lots of stuff or buy groceries or whatever.
*If you're going to be buying/trying on clothes. Kinda impossible to do while babywearing.
*If your baby is heavy and you're going on a long walk (my baby was really tiny so I never had this problem but I may have used a stroller more if he was heavy).
*If you're going somewhere like the zoo where you're going to be walking around all day (although at many zoos and similar places you can rent strollers or wagons too).

All that being said, I think your strategy of waiting to see if you actually need one sounds perfect. I had a jogging stroller right away that my mom gave me, but I didn't use it until DS was around 6 months old. Before that I wore him everywhere, or in certain situations carried him in the bucket seat (like carried him into church that way when he was sleeping). This time I do plan to get a stroller, maybe a sit-and-stand type one, because I don't think I can handle wearing the baby, keeping track of my older son, and carrying gear/groceries or anything really, all at the same time. lol.gif

Good luck!

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#9 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 09:10 AM
 
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I got a lot of judgement on that also. I did wind up buying one when DS was 3 mos and refusing the Moby. And then I heard about it even more.

Ultimately, a lot of it is about lifestyle, how and where you live. Now that DS is 19 mos, almost 30 lbs and as tall as a 3 yo, wearing him for long stretches is not feasible. I use the stroller to do grocery shopping, go to the gym (almost a mile), walk to the park, etc. We have a fair bit close by, so its easier to walk than drive.

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#10 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 09:30 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cristeen View Post

I got a lot of judgement on that also. I did wind up buying one when DS was 3 mos and refusing the Moby. And then I heard about it even more.

Ultimately, a lot of it is about lifestyle, how and where you live. Now that DS is 19 mos, almost 30 lbs and as tall as a 3 yo, wearing him for long stretches is not feasible. I use the stroller to do grocery shopping, go to the gym (almost a mile), walk to the park, etc. We have a fair bit close by, so its easier to walk than drive.


This is a really important point too. From my house I can walk to the grocery store, post office, park, coffee shop, ice cream shop, etc etc... Wearing DS for a walk doesn't work anymore nor does dragging a slow, curious, sometimes darting-off toddler. So a stroller is great for neighborhood mobility. Plus strollers are a great space for toddlers to snack.
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#11 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 09:44 AM
 
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We never bought a stroller.  I personally think it is too much gear to lug around.  DS flat refused to ride in one and still does.  Our neighbors bought us one because they thought we really needed one, sits in the shed.  I (now) sometimes wish he would, to save my neck a bit (fractured C6 & C7 a couple years ago in a MVA).  We have quite a few carriers that we have used over the past 22 months   Recently embraced our ERGO in the back carry these days. 


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#12 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 10:33 AM
 
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Yeah, my mom thought that we were somehow making a *big mistake* by not purchasing a stroller prior to DD being born. Cause, you know, if one day I thought "hmm, a stroller might be more convenient" when DD was already 3 months or whatever, it would have been too late. I couldn't have possibly run to Walmart and bought a stroller and returned home within 20 minutes.

 

Sarcasm aside, it really does depend on a lot of factors. For us, we never ended up needing a stroller. My mom bought 3 or 4 that I can remember, and we used one of them once when she came to visit (but it was a total disaster, the wheels were awful) and another one another time just by ourselves (it was fine, but the Ergo would have been  fine too). DD liked the Ergo and she is a peanut so she was never heavy. Honestly, I still wear her in the Ergo maybe twice a year and she's 5 and a half. (Last time was in December, we walked to the Christmas tree lighting downtown but a stroller in the dark and a bit of snow up and down curbs and everything was not ideal, but the Ergo was perfect and even kept both of us warm - plus she could see better).


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#13 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 10:35 AM
 
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we didn't have one at first and i wore dd everywhere.  however, we ended up getting a really beat up second hand one for:

sitting her in before she could sit up so that i could work in the yard.  if you garden, it's invaluable for that. 

taking her to the park in extremely hot weather (which we only did a few times) when wearing was awful (but we live in GA)

 

my friend has a bit of land and used a jogging stroller (that has a front wheel that moves- an important feature) and she used it LOTS.  i envied it.

 

if you live where you can push the baby on a sidewalk (sadly we don't) it might be good to have.  we never took the stroller anywhere for her though.  last weekend i went to a music festival and i was the ONLY baby-wearer i saw, it was a field of strollers.  i thought about it, and the advantages are being able to feed the baby snacks (if they're older) it doesn't kill your back (if they're heavy) and you don't have to worry about sunburn b/c you have a shield.  babywearing can lead to sunburn, especially if your babe doesn't like a hat. 

 

if you're having a shower and people are wanting to GIVE you one, take them up on it. 


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#14 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 12:54 PM
 
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I get overheated very easily so I cannot tolerate wearing babies outside in 95 degree weather with 100% humidity for several hours. That's where a stroller with a nice shaded canopy comes in handy for me. :) Also, some toddlers get very squirmy and don't want to be worn. Rather than chase a toddler all over the place, the stroller keeps him safe when we are in places that roaming around is not an option.

 


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#15 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 01:12 PM
 
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If I were doing it over again, I wouldn't get a stroller until my baby was old enough for an umbrella stroller; then I'd pick up a cheap one.  There are times when a stroller is handy, but it only works if your baby will be content in it, and I couldn't count on my babies being happy in a stroller when they were little.  It's no fun when you end up carrying the baby and pushing the stroller too.  And there are so many places where a stroller is really inconvenient or just won't work - crowded stores, places with stairs, rough unpaved ground.  The sling was the thing I could count on to work everywhere.  Once my babies were a year old or so, they generally enjoyed riding in the stroller as long as it kept moving, and by that time they were heavier, too, so it was nice to be able to push them if I was going somewhere where I could use a stroller.  Unless you're really big and strong, I bet you'll find a stroller handy once your baby is a toddler (under certain circumstances - there are still all those places where a stroller doesn't work.)  But I wouldn't bother to get one now if I were you.

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#16 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 01:54 PM
 
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A wagon worked nicely for us when ds was sitting up well and wearing him got less comfy. We haul 2 kids and stuff in it around the neighborhood, market, zoo, they walk part of the time and ride part of the time and I don't feel silly for pushing an empty stroller.

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#17 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 03:45 PM
 
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Sounds good! My dd was a summer baby too, and we didn't get a stroller until she was a year old, because it was too hot to wear a 1 year old all the time. It's also really nice to wait because the kind of stroller you might want for an older baby/toddler will probably be different from what you would choose for a newbie (we have a jogging stroller that doesn't hold a carseat and doesn't lay flat, so it wouldn't work for a baby, but it's great for a toddler). Anyway, it's not like they're that rare or something, you can always get one later!

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Originally Posted by imogenlily View Post

Thanks! This seems like great advice, and fits with the approach I'm taking, which is "buy a stroller if it becomes apparent that I need one".



 

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#18 of 35 Old 04-22-2011, 10:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post

A couple situations where it's nice to have a stroller...some may have already been mentioned:

*If you're going to be carrying around lots of stuff or buy groceries or whatever.
*If you're going to be buying/trying on clothes. Kinda impossible to do while babywearing.
*If your baby is heavy and you're going on a long walk (my baby was really tiny so I never had this problem but I may have used a stroller more if he was heavy).
*If you're going somewhere like the zoo where you're going to be walking around all day (although at many zoos and similar places you can rent strollers or wagons too).

All that being said, I think your strategy of waiting to see if you actually need one sounds perfect. I had a jogging stroller right away that my mom gave me, but I didn't use it until DS was around 6 months old. Before that I wore him everywhere, or in certain situations carried him in the bucket seat (like carried him into church that way when he was sleeping). This time I do plan to get a stroller, maybe a sit-and-stand type one, because I don't think I can handle wearing the baby, keeping track of my older son, and carrying gear/groceries or anything really, all at the same time. lol.gif

Good luck!


I agree with this. I did not a buy a stroller with my little one. When we got our car seat, my brother in law told me that the first thing I should do is find a stroller that fit the car seat because they are so heavy to lug around. But, you know what isn't heavy? A newborn without a carseat :) My DD was a summer baby, so she was little enough to wear comfortable all day long while we were out and about. We wore her through very hot weather with warm weather friendly wraps and a sling. We tend to stay home more during the winter, so we haven't got one until just now. I bought a cheap umbrella one at a garage sale for five dollars.

 

That being said, some babies do love to sleep in their carseats, so it might be nice to stroll a sleeping baby around, rather than lugging that carseat everywhere. But, you will know if you have one of thsoe babies when you have the baby and you can always get a stroller then. My baby had a deep seeded hatred for car seats :) I loved wearing her though - they are only that small for so long, so why not embrace it? Plus, baby carriers can go where no strollers can! :)

 


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#19 of 35 Old 04-23-2011, 05:35 AM
 
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We bought a Graco frame for the carseat before she was born and I did use it for reasons previously mentioned because she tended to fall asleep immediately in the car so it was nice for short trips in and out of places/doctor appts/clothes trying. She always woke up when I took her out. Going for longer things like grocery shopping, walking in malls/fairs and things like that, I wore her and she would go back to sleep on me. For us, I don't think a more expensive stroller would have been useful at an early age but because the frame was inexpensive, it was worth it.
I do not like umbrella strollers because they don't have good support for their backs. We run/walk our dogs for a few miles and we bought a Bob jogging stroller (used thankfully, because it's very expensive) and it is amazing.
DD hardly ever sits in a stroller and it's so funny because when we do use it, she gets all excited and holds onto the bar laughing and kicking, especially when we run!

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#20 of 35 Old 04-23-2011, 06:36 AM
 
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DD is 18 m/o now and we have used our very expensive stroller ONCE and she screamed the whole time so we had to take her out lol


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#21 of 35 Old 04-23-2011, 10:46 AM
 
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Hi!  We didn't get a stroller until DD was 8 months and then we only used it occasionally to go to the zoo or something.  We also had a Britax seat, so we never did the baby bucket thing, either.  I think because she was so used to being taken out of the seat and put in the sling from the time she was tiny, she learned to sleep through it and we never had a problem.  We would lay her in the booth seat at the restaurant, or even in the grass on her blanket if it was a pretty day and we were outside.  It was lovely.

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#22 of 35 Old 04-23-2011, 12:57 PM
 
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I think your approach sounds great. I am expecting #2 and I need a stroller-- for the 3 year old I can no longer keep up with! The baby, however, I expect to wear all the time unless he is super different from his older brother. FWIW, we do have a stroller that adapts for tiny ones, but I only used it once or twice. DS and I were both happier when I was wearing him. We didn't have a bucket car seat, either, so the car seat stayed in the car and I just transferred him-- for him it wasn't a big deal.

I don't understand why "I might decide to get one later, and then I could get a cheaper one for an older baby, but I just don't want to be loaded down with more STUFF right now!" would get so much flak! If you're not declaring that strollers are the most evil invention known to man, I'm not sure what there is to be upset about.
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#23 of 35 Old 04-23-2011, 01:22 PM
 
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people will always be intimidated. I told everyone not to get DD "babies" with bottles or strollers and everyone had a heart attack. If you say you don't need a stroller b/c you will be wearing your baby people will question if they were inferior. Just let it slide.

 

I also second your baby will get used to being taken out and worn even while sleeping. I used to *try* to keep DD in the car seat when she fell asleep and I was running errands or something but she would always scream and scream at some point and I had to always wear her anyway and those bucket seats are a PIA and heavy.


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#24 of 35 Old 04-23-2011, 02:10 PM
 
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My girls are 11 and 9, and I never had a stroller.  I carried them in a front pack or backpack whenever I went out.  That said, if I lived where I could walk to stores for grocery shopping, one might have been helpful.  Or if I had a bad back, knee, etc.. then it would be important.  But I've never had an occasion to want one.  We've traveled to several countries w/the girls, been to zoos, museums etc... and it was never a problem.  

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#25 of 35 Old 04-23-2011, 02:50 PM
 
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OP, we also got a surprising amount of flak for not purchasing a stroller. And as a pp stated, a lot of people take it quite personally when you deviate on anything when it comes to parenting - it's almost as if they feel you are saying their way was inferior. Sometimes it helps to be sensitive to that. But then again, sometimes not, and it can be frustrating to deal with.

 

As far as the stroller thing, DD is 9 months and has yet to ride in one. She hated her car seat from day 1, so I'm confident in saying that she wouldn't have ever sat pleasantly in a stroller even if we had wanted her to.

 

However, the other day we were at the store and I put her in the front of the cart, and she absolutely loved it. Loved it, loved it, loved it. So at this point I am considering purchasing something for her for going on walks, etc. However, she would be put in the stroller for the purpose of going on a stroller ride, not solely as a means for transportation. It's something to think about, some babies really do enjoy being strolled about, though it doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't wear or carry a baby who enjoys a stroller.

 

Also, if you aren't going to get a stroller, I highly recommend a carrier that you can do up quickly and easily, like a ring sling or Ergo. And when people prod you about your lack of a stroller, you can always point out how little space your Ergo takes up in the car!


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#26 of 35 Old 04-24-2011, 05:52 PM
 
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You are not crazy.  I think people and babies have different needs.

 

I didn't have a stroller with DS#1 until my mom bought me one when he was maybe 8 or 9 months old?  We used it occasionally, but I much preferred babywearing.  

 

With DS#2, I still babywear, but I can't do it as much as I did with DS#1.  I'm older, and working as an ICU nurse for several years did not do favors to my back.  I ended up getting a stroller before DS#2 was born, but just because it came as part of a travel system.  When he was a newborn, and still asleep, I'd take the car seat/stroller thing into the store, put on the Moby, and pop the baby in the Moby when he woke up.  Then I'd use the stroller as my "cart."  My mother also stayed with us until DS#2 was a few months old, and she loved taking the baby for walks, but could not tolerate baby wearing for very long, so they both really enjoyed the stroller.

 

I also have 2 dogs that I need to walk everyday, and that doesn't feel safe to do while baby wearing, so I use a sturdy stroller for that.  

 

There will always be strollers around.  If you find out you need one, go get one.  But I doubt the earth will stop on it's axis if you don't have one before the baby is born.

 

(As a side note- is anyone else seeing all these ads that feature talking women on the side??  How annoying!  LOL)


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#27 of 35 Old 04-24-2011, 08:19 PM
 
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If someone wants to give you one as a gift, IMO, it's not really a big deal.  Both of my kids, as newborns, did not care for the stroller, so I wore them.  I DO wake a sleeping baby (unintentionally) to put them in a ring sling when we get out of the car.  Dh and I do not carry babies in their seats.  Even with two kids, we still don't use our v nice double stroller that much, even with going to the zoo and such, even by myself.  It has gotten to the point where we feel that the stroller is more of a hassle now.  As many others have said, though, you and your baby may really enjoy having a stroller in a few or many months.  DD1 loooooves riding in the stroller!


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#28 of 35 Old 04-24-2011, 09:39 PM
 
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We got a little inexpensive umbrella stroller and used it once. We decided the Ergo was much better for us. I had her on my front for the first 4-5 months and then on my back after that. I welcomed the oppertunity for exercise and to feel close to my little one. For all the activities we did the Ergo was all I needed. If I were a runner or jogger I would have been more likely to want a stroller for regular use.

We eventually got a nice bike trailer, and you could purchase a front wheel for it so it could act as a stroller as well as a trailer. We loved it for cycling. We had her ride in it as a stroller when we'd go inline-skating, too. It was really nice when we walked to the grocery store: our daughter rode on my back, and we stuffed the trailer with groceries! Ditto at the farmers market. But I don't think we really used it as a "stroller" on a regular basis.

My advice: if you don't think you need one then don't get one. If some time goes by and you feel one will be useful then you can buy one in less than an hour! If people give you hard time about it just say that you will buy one if you find you'll need one.

And folks will pester. I had family tell me I was nuts, friends express disbelief, and folks telling me not to be a martyr to my child. My grandmother told me I would turn my child into a tyrant by carrying her instead of using a stroller. I had a complete stranger with a baby on a bus give me a hard time about not using a stroller. She was really smug and "sympathetic" and kept calling me "honey" and telling me I was working too hard and that using a stroller was SO much more convienent than carrying a baby on my back. I had to struggle not to laugh when she had to wrestle this HUGE stroller out from under the bus seat, dropped it while trying to open it, dropped it again, then almost dropped her baby! I would have felt bad for her had she not just been so condecending to be one minute before.

For some reason the decision to not use a stroller is something that gets a lot of folk's dander up.
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#29 of 35 Old 04-24-2011, 10:00 PM
 
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I've never used one with my 2 yr old or  my 3 month old.  It wouldn't be very convienient here.  I don't think strollers are bad, but I do think that our culture's obsession with buying more and more and more new stuff is!  If someone wants to pass along their old stroller, take it and see if you like it.  But I wouldn't go pick up a new thing just on the off chance you might need it later.  Get it later.


 

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#30 of 35 Old 04-25-2011, 10:14 PM
 
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I can relate-- I asked my family not to buy a stroller and other baby stuff like bottles until I see that we'd need it. Wait and see just makes more sense instead of buying stuff and not using them! My mother said it's a bad idea to carry the baby all the time because the baby will get too spoiled and attached to the parent, and also why would I want to hurt my back by carrying all that weight? And my father thinks I'm determined to remain uncivilized by not making use of modern technology. 

 

Everyone has their own ideas about what works best. I just wish they'd respect others' ideas!
 

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Originally Posted by tinuviel_k View Post



And folks will pester. I had family tell me I was nuts, friends express disbelief, and folks telling me not to be a martyr to my child. My grandmother told me I would turn my child into a tyrant by carrying her instead of using a stroller. I had a complete stranger with a baby on a bus give me a hard time about not using a stroller. She was really smug and "sympathetic" and kept calling me "honey" and telling me I was working too hard and that using a stroller was SO much more convienent than carrying a baby on my back. I had to struggle not to laugh when she had to wrestle this HUGE stroller out from under the bus seat, dropped it while trying to open it, dropped it again, then almost dropped her baby! I would have felt bad for her had she not just been so condecending to be one minute before.

For some reason the decision to not use a stroller is something that gets a lot of folk's dander up.


 


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