what comments to you get and what do you say? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 06-16-2011, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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so mostly, i get positive comments and support while wearing ladybug in my moby. My FIL goes as far as to make comments to strangers, "isnt that thing neat, it holds her right there..."

 

BUT

 

my mom has commented a couple times that "that thing is neat but the problem is that it gets her used to being carried all the time" the first time she said that, i didnt reply. the 2nd time on another day, I said, "no 9 months in my uterus got her used to being carried and that i like carrying her. " but i think i sounded a bit too defensive

 

i wish i would have said:

 

"i dont see the problem with that, its good for her to be near me and good excersize for me. i feel that being there for her will help her feel as secure and trusting as can be so she will be a strong independant confident child who knows she is loved. i am sure i will miss this when she wants to run around all the time"

 

maybe if she says it again.

 

so....

 

what comments have you gotten and what do you say? feel free to comment on any topic, breastfeeding, cosleeping, blw, etc.

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#2 of 11 Old 06-16-2011, 01:35 PM
 
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regarding babywearing, i've only gotten really positive comments.  in fact, i just got one yesterday at the park.  people mostly comment on how cool my sling, carrier, etc is or how happy, content, etc baby seems in there.

 

someone once made a CIO comment in front of me (not directed toward me), but he knew we didn't let dd CIO, so i felt the need to respond.  his daughter, who had just had her first child asked if it was ok to let her baby cry.  he said something like, "babies need to learn to self soothe".  and i said something like, "no three month old should have to soothe him/herself.  that's a parent's job."  it really bothered me.  i should have bit my tongue, but just felt the need to say something.  i also wanted this mom to have another perspective and not just assume that what her dad was telling her was correct.

 

honestly, the most negative comments i got were about our extended rear facing dd.  we didn't turn her forward facing until she was four (and only then because she had reached the weight limit).  several people made comments about it (e.g. "what are you gonna do, turn her around when her legs are touching the ceiling?") and i would just tell them that rear facing was safer.  i even sent links to a few people which explained why it's safer.  people would often comment how her legs were bent and how that couldn't be comfortable for her.  i would either say, "well, my legs are bent in the car and i'm fine" or "she's never complained" or "she's seems pretty happy" (which she always was). 

 

i don't mention co-sleeping to many people, because i'm afraid of what they might say.  why give anyone the opportunity to piss me off.


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#3 of 11 Old 06-16-2011, 02:11 PM
 
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I have mostly gotten positive comments from people too. They usually think the baby looks so cute in the wrap. I did get a negative comment from my nana once. I just ignored it. Once she saw how content the baby was she left it alone. Its hard to argue about babywearing when the baby looks so happy and cuddled up.

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#4 of 11 Old 06-17-2011, 05:53 PM
 
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I have been wondering what to expect about this. I'm expecting my first in a couple of months, and my family is convinced that I'm going to kill my baby by using a sling. They keep telling me about some story they saw on Dateline or 20/20 or something like that.  I tried explaining about the different types of carriers how to wear babies safely, but they have already made up their minds. Oh well, I think by now they expect that I'll always be the "weird" one in the family, I expect it will only get more pronounced once the baby gets here!


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#5 of 11 Old 06-17-2011, 07:02 PM
 
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When I carried my ds2 in a sling when he was a babe, back in 2004 and beyond, I got a lot of nasty comments. I usually countered with something about how babies grow and develop better and are healthier when they are held and touched more and are usually more emotionally secure rather than less. I think things have been changing since then because I can't recall one negative comment when I carried ds3 in a sling in 2007 and beyond. I also see more and more people wearing their babies.

Since it was your mother who made the comment, I might ask her why she is concerned about your DD getting used to being carried. What horrible thing does she think will come of it? Is she worried that your DD won't be able to walk? That is a big one I used to hear all the time. "If you carry your baby all the time, he'll never learn to walk." I find that very amusing since the latest any of my 3 boys walked was 11 months, much earlier than the average age that a baby learns to walk. Is she worried that your DD will become clingy and just never want to be put down? Usually the opposite happens. Babies who are held close by their parents are usually less clingy and more secure than babies who are left alone in a carseat or swing or whatever.

If it's a stranger or an acquaintance, I might just say that it's easier for me to carry baby in a sling than have to deal with maneuvering a stroller around. If they then ask for more info, I will share more. If they continue to be negative, I would probably just walk away.

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#6 of 11 Old 06-18-2011, 07:37 AM
 
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Mostly I get questions/comments asking if it's hard to use.  If I'm using a buckle carrier or RS I'll often pull DD out, and then put her back in if they're really curious.

 

I think that if I had someone tell me that carrying DC around was teaching them to be held all the time I would say something like, "Well what's your free work out plan?"  lol.gif  If it were another parent that was trying to give me 'advice' I think I'd make a comment about how happy and non-fussy DC is.  

 


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#7 of 11 Old 06-20-2011, 11:32 AM
 
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I think you can point out.

Baby is doing the following things that meet or exceed developmental milestones, for appropriate to baby's age. (ie: lifting head/shoulders well, rolling over, scooting etc)

  This assures your family that you are aware of where baby needs to be and are attending to that. You can also mention that baby's that are worn tend to be more socially mature they learn to read facial cues because they are nearer faces. That when the in the carrier you are wearing baby in such a way (froggied: knees up about belly button level to baby spread about shoulder width apart to baby and at a 90* angle) that will help the proper development of the upper femur, the ball and socket of the hip and pelvis. This can avoid hip displaysia and later hip problems as an adult.

 

Sounds like she wants to be more helpful with baby. Perhaps you can teach her how to wear baby.

 


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#8 of 11 Old 06-22-2011, 12:49 PM
 
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Hey, (babywearing) has worked for the human species fo 50,000 years! It's hard to argue with that.

Here is more about the history:

 

 

Quote:

http://www.multiculturalfamilia.com/2011/06/08/babywearing-for-newbies-part-one-history/

Based on this concept it is reasonable to assume that the invention of a simple baby carrying devices may have played a decisive role in the development of the humanspecies

 

 

 

The same comment could apply for bf'g, co-sleeping ................
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#9 of 11 Old 07-02-2011, 10:19 AM
 
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nak

Yesterday I got great comment at the store. A woman saw my 3 week old DS sleeping in my sling and her face lit up, "Oh! I LIKE that! He's right next to your heartbeat!" orngbiggrin.gif


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#10 of 11 Old 07-02-2011, 12:36 PM
 
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I typically get comments like "Oooh, I wish we would have had those when my kids were babies."
 

I also get a lot of questions like where to buy, how much, how to do you put it on etc. 

 

I've only receive negative stares from younger kids (14 or so) who think it's weird and soooo uncool to wear your baby :-)   I've overheard people comment to their spouse or partner "that poor baby"

My SIL even had someone point to her dd in the wrap and say to her 3 or 4 year old "Isn't that weird?"

 

I often feel self conscious about wearing my ds everywhere since it's a very uncommon thing in our area.  But, then I think about having to lug a carseat around how happy both of us are close to each other - -  and then my worries fade away


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#11 of 11 Old 07-03-2011, 09:37 PM
 
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I never got a negative comment, but I sure got a lot of, "Wow, what a pretty carrier!" or "That's really cool!" on my WAHM-made mei tai.

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