Working on a documentary about High Needs Babes and AP. (Babywearing/co-sleeping/HS/Unschooling) - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Which babywearing product do you (and baby) prefer?
Traditional carriers (Ergo, Infantino, Baby Bjorn) 6 100.00%
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#1 of 15 Old 01-23-2012, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone! My name is Kristina and I have a 3 month baby girl. As a first time parent, whew, it's been exhausting. I am currently in the Army but have been working on getting out to spend more time with my baby. The Army is not very friendly to AP styles and I have been told by my Sgts that I should just stop breastfeeding my baby and she'll eventually take a bottle (once in a blue moon she'll take one but she really is a breast only baby) among other ridiculous things. Once I get out I plan on making a documentary about AP with a focus on high needs babies.

 

I co-sleep with my daughter and not only is it the only way I would ever get sleep it's also enjoyable. I love having her so close. And I would love to get lots of feedback from families who are just starting co-sleeping and those who have been doing it for years.

 

I have everything from a traditional baby carrier to a sling. I have a Moby wrap and a Baby K'tan. I prefer the Baby K'tan and so does my daughter. My husband loves the Moby and Charlie likes it, too. She hates the carrier and is uncomfortable in the sling for more than a couple minutes. Does anyone else use the Baby K'tan and have you been able to use it for a long period of time? Does it grow well with baby? I mainly put her in the adventure position but if I want to scrapbook I'll put her to sleep in the hug hold and rock while I work to keep her asleep. Does it work well in the hip position?

 

I'm am constantly bombarded with unwanted advice telling me to let her cry it out and put her in a crib and all babies are the same type mentalities and it is driving me crazy. I am working through kickstarter.com and once I have enough time to put my project together and launch it I will need lots of support to get it funded.

 

But besides that, I will be looking for parents to share their thoughts and experiences with both topics. I will be looking for people who can answer questions and send in videos. I will be conducting interviews with parents and health professionals and just trying for an overall eye opening direction for people to accept that all babies are different and some babies are more "difficult" than others and it's not a bad thing, but it requires a more active type of parenting.

 

So I'm wondering if anyone here would be interested in being a part of this!? Ideas and advice are more than welcome! I'm still new at this parenting thing but I love AP and hope to share how good it is for both parent and baby with the world.

 

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#2 of 15 Old 01-24-2012, 05:35 PM
 
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That sounds like a wonderful idea!  That would be good for getting the word out!  My baby is almost 9 months old and we have used all styles of baby carriers.  You asked about the Baby K'tan.  I used it a lot for the first 3 months.  Then, I began to use the Moby a little more since I started working more again on the farm with my husband and we could trade her back and forth and it was a little tighter.  I have also used the ring sling and LOVE for farm work since I can slide her around to my back to get her out of the way and then bring her back to breastfeed.  Lately, I've been using the Baby K'tan again and am still loving it, even though she is more than 18 pounds now.

 

This is my first baby, but my husband and I have carried her much of the time.  She was pretty high needs/fussy/gassy the first couple of months and that was pretty tough.  Over the months of carrying her and tending to her needs, she has become very peaceful and content.  She sleeps in our bed and is always with me.

 

I think the documentary idea sounds great and I would be happy to participate :)

 

Annelise


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#3 of 15 Old 01-25-2012, 02:46 PM
 
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I have a very emotional/ sensitive baby. From his second day of life my husband said "Wow he cries a lot more than Harley did!" (our easygoing daughter)....He had a period of fussiness from about 6w- 3-4 months that was pretty hard, including discovering he had a dairy allergy and me doing an elimination diet. That helped, but he's still an emotional guy. He is 12 months old now. We have attachment-parented all our kids in varying degrees, but Dylan the most. He has slept beside me since birth, breastfed, worn more than the others etc. Because he NEEDED it. Still does the co-sleeping. And he nurses quite a bit still. 

 

I will say I believe it has made ALL the difference for my boy. He is happy, giggly, engaged, intelligent, active, definitely NOT clingy. He is attached well to me and will play and climb all over the place, but come over and climb on my lap to nurse. That's how he checks in with me. With co-sleeping, he is my easiest baby to get to sleep. I lay down with him and he nurses to sleep. He is out in less than 10 minutes and I sneak away till my bedtime. He doesn't mind because he knows mommy and daddy will be there at 10 pm. After 4 children and varying degrees of AP, I am convinced THIS is the way to mother. My husband initially wanted him circumcised but I did research and we watched videos, etc. Now my dh says, "THANK GOD we kept him intact" We are very strong intactivists and really believe that it would have impacted our sensitive boy and traumatized him badly. 

 

As for babywearing, you name it I've tried it- ring sling, Moby, babyhawk, and Beco Butterfly II, just to name a few. I love my Beco the most as I find it easiest. I still wear him in it often. i'm not great with tying stuff, lol. 


Melissa, momma to Hunter 8 , Julianna 7, Harley 23 months,  and breastfeeding, babywearing and bedsharing with my Dylan, born 1/18/2011.

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#4 of 15 Old 01-26-2012, 09:13 AM
 
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Sounds like a great idea, and I am all for people not soliciting unwanted CIO advice and bottle-pushing (especially peds)!

My little guy was not fussy until he hit about 4 months, when was diagnosed with multiple food allergies, and cut his first 2 teeth. We are still working on trying to figure out which foods work and don't work. He has been cosleeping for the past 2 months. Babywearing in our Boba helps a lot, and if I carry him for a bit, he will fall asleep on his own without cuddling next to mommy. I think I traumatized him with one episode of CIO, and he has been very "clingy" since then. I wish I never tried it, and had stuck to our AP :o(

Other than that, he is a happy camper, and a ball of sunshine.

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#5 of 15 Old 01-26-2012, 10:57 AM
 
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Hi,

 

I might not be on topic here. But I am a first time mom and am pretty confused about weather to co-sleep or not. I mean did any of you guys have problem when you had your second kid ? I am planning to make her sleep in a crib right besides my bed. And am afraid its gonna be a mess when I ll have my second baby. I am still thinking about what to do.

 

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#6 of 15 Old 01-26-2012, 06:27 PM
 
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Love the documentary idea. I have also been brainstorming ways to get new ideas and concepts out to parents. Myn usband and I are filmmakers. Moviesfromtheheart.com , happy to help ini any way, offer support etc. Our last 3 film were feature length docs in the self help arena.

To the last new moms question: you can always try co-sleeping and it can change. You will find what works best and feels best for you and your family. You may only want to cosleep for the first 6 months, the first year, you can create it however you need to. When its time for a second baby you can adjust. I really wanted to co sleep and we did for the first 6 months and the truth was it was it killing me. I was awake every 45 mins and my body physically could not handle it, my back was a mess. Whatever keeps YOU healthy and happy is what's also best for your baby, it's the only way you can have the energy you need and be able to fully show up to parent in the beat possible way. Cocleeping is never all or nothing, or does not havento be anyways. And it's amazing to have your baby close for the initial adjustment into the world.
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#7 of 15 Old 01-26-2012, 07:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphyonis View Post

That sounds like a wonderful idea!  That would be good for getting the word out!  My baby is almost 9 months old and we have used all styles of baby carriers.  You asked about the Baby K'tan.  I used it a lot for the first 3 months.  Then, I began to use the Moby a little more since I started working more again on the farm with my husband and we could trade her back and forth and it was a little tighter.  I have also used the ring sling and LOVE for farm work since I can slide her around to my back to get her out of the way and then bring her back to breastfeed.  Lately, I've been using the Baby K'tan again and am still loving it, even though she is more than 18 pounds now.

 

This is my first baby, but my husband and I have carried her much of the time.  She was pretty high needs/fussy/gassy the first couple of months and that was pretty tough.  Over the months of carrying her and tending to her needs, she has become very peaceful and content.  She sleeps in our bed and is always with me.

 

I think the documentary idea sounds great and I would be happy to participate :)

 

Annelise




Thank you! I like how quick and mobile the K'tan is compared to the Moby. I love the point you make of tending to her needs and I agree that is why she is so peaceful and content. I think with my Charlie girl it has made all the difference just in these short few months. I think she would be a very unhappy and fearful baby had I not gone with AP and holding/wearing her all the time.

 

I am really excited to get your feedback. Once I get out of the Army I will be focusing most of my non baby time with this project. Okay, maybe a little scrapbooking, too (I'm addicted).

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#8 of 15 Old 01-26-2012, 07:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkijames View Post

I have a very emotional/ sensitive baby. From his second day of life my husband said "Wow he cries a lot more than Harley did!" (our easygoing daughter)....He had a period of fussiness from about 6w- 3-4 months that was pretty hard, including discovering he had a dairy allergy and me doing an elimination diet. That helped, but he's still an emotional guy. He is 12 months old now. We have attachment-parented all our kids in varying degrees, but Dylan the most. He has slept beside me since birth, breastfed, worn more than the others etc. Because he NEEDED it. Still does the co-sleeping. And he nurses quite a bit still. 

 

I will say I believe it has made ALL the difference for my boy. He is happy, giggly, engaged, intelligent, active, definitely NOT clingy. He is attached well to me and will play and climb all over the place, but come over and climb on my lap to nurse. That's how he checks in with me. With co-sleeping, he is my easiest baby to get to sleep. I lay down with him and he nurses to sleep. He is out in less than 10 minutes and I sneak away till my bedtime. He doesn't mind because he knows mommy and daddy will be there at 10 pm. After 4 children and varying degrees of AP, I am convinced THIS is the way to mother. My husband initially wanted him circumcised but I did research and we watched videos, etc. Now my dh says, "THANK GOD we kept him intact" We are very strong intactivists and really believe that it would have impacted our sensitive boy and traumatized him badly. 

 

As for babywearing, you name it I've tried it- ring sling, Moby, babyhawk, and Beco Butterfly II, just to name a few. I love my Beco the most as I find it easiest. I still wear him in it often. i'm not great with tying stuff, lol. 




I am loving this feeling of belonging and other moms knowing what I'm talking about. I discovered Charlie had a reaction to dairy and eliminating it completely made her turn from a wriggling nightmare at night to a happy sleeping baby. It was amazing. I can't wait till my girl gets to Dylan's age and I can look back like you and feel so confident in my choice, I mean, I already feel great and that I made the right choice but it's exciting thinking of the future. I'm looking forward to you guys helping me out when the time comes to compile the experiences of families like ours.

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#9 of 15 Old 01-27-2012, 09:19 AM
 
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I use my k'tan for quick trips but do not like it for extended wear.  My daughter is now 14m and we still use it and love it.  For extended wear I prefer a Mei Tai as they are more secure and distribute the weight better.  It is also great for both front and back wear.  Of course, in my bag of tricks I also have ring slings, wraps, pouches and structured carriers.  They all have pros and cons.  It is a matter of finding the right carrier for you, your baby and your situation.

 

Regarding your documentary, I think you should go for it.  Keep in mind that every situation and every child is different.  Some families thrive with AP and some thrive with a more conservative approach.  Plus there is everything in between.  I would like to suggest that while your focus is on how well babies and mommies do with AP, please do not discredit other methods as those mommies, like you, are probably tired of hearing what they are doing wrong.  

 

Good luck with your project and please keep us posted on your progress.

 

Best regards,

Jessica

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#10 of 15 Old 01-30-2012, 08:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brooke13 View Post


To the last new moms question: you can always try co-sleeping and it can change. You will find what works best and feels best for you and your family. You may only want to cosleep for the first 6 months, the first year, you can create it however you need to. When its time for a second baby you can adjust. I really wanted to co sleep and we did for the first 6 months and the truth was it was it killing me. I was awake every 45 mins and my body physically could not handle it, my back was a mess. Whatever keeps YOU healthy and happy is what's also best for your baby, it's the only way you can have the energy you need and be able to fully show up to parent in the beat possible way. Cocleeping is never all or nothing, or does not havento be anyways. And it's amazing to have your baby close for the initial adjustment into the world.

 

Thanks for the advice. I think I ll have to check out what works for us. I am scared mostly that I might somehow hurt the baby if I sleep besides the baby. And my biggest concern is I might roll over the baby or something like that. But well maybe eventually I ll figure something out.
 

 

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#11 of 15 Old 01-30-2012, 12:10 PM
 
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we have a Baby K'tan and we love it. we prefer the hug position, but i guess that's a personal thing. it does grow with your baby so you should be able to use it for a while. i love how easy it to use as compared to the moby wrap (which we had but ended up getting rid of because it never got used).

 

i think the documentary idea is great. i think it would be very interesting if you focused on AP from the point of view of being in the army. i think it would be really interesting to learn about the army's perspective and how they probably can/should change...

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#12 of 15 Old 01-30-2012, 06:56 PM
 
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We coslept wtih our daughter for almost 3mos...well I did, DH lasted a week then took residence on the couch!  I had a cosleeper bed that was meant to go in between us on our matress but wasn't able to use it for about 4weeks because she really wanted the closeness of being held.  I never felt like I was in a deep sleep when she was next to me.  I loved having her there to hear her breathing and feel her little body was great - I called her my hot water bottle!  Once she got better at regulating her temp, I got her to sleep in her cosleeper bed next to me, and just last week we transitioned her to her crib.  If it was up to me I'd have gone longer but DH was feeling a little left out and he sleeps too soundly that even with her there he did roll a bit too close to where I smacked him to wake him up ;-)  I had her take naps in her crib first before she spent the night, and first night she slept 8hrs, so as much as it killed me to have her away, it felt good to stretch out!  DH is a firefighter and works 24hr shifts so I'm sure there will be nights he works that I will continue to co-sleep and she will go back to her crib nights he's home.  I got a LOT of negative feedback from both friends and family when they found out we had her in our bed.  I was told everything from "you're going to crush her" to" you'll regret this when she refuses to sleep alone".  I no longer talk about my parenting philosophies with most of these people bc they have been too stubborn to see my side of things.  I'm doing whats comfortable for me.  I didn't know what attachment parenting was until I started to read into certain topics and went "hey, that's me!".  The biggest hurdle seems to be that people don't like change.  As a dog trainer, I'm all too familiar with this problem as I try to explain positive reinforcement training techniques to someone who has hit their dogs with newspapers and walked on pinch collars for 30 years.  But good luck, there really needs to be more out there for people to see!

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#13 of 15 Old 02-04-2012, 04:51 PM
 
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I really love the idea of a documentary about AP. What's really fascinating to me, though, is your experience with being an AP mama in the army. Maybe that could be a secondary focus for the piece...?

 

Please keep me updated on this project -- I would love to pitch in in whatever way when the time comes!

 

svea.boyda.vikander@gmail.com

 

Svea

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#14 of 15 Old 02-05-2012, 01:05 PM
 
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AP mama to a happy toddler who was a very high needs baby here!  My ring sling and Hotslings pouch were the only way I made it out of the house (rarely!) during the early months, and the Catbird Baby Pikkolo (like a mei tai with buckles) changed our lives when we got it at 4 months. LO took all her naps in the Pikkolo for a number of months and loved riding in it at home and out.  I'd love to lend stories, etc, to your documentary, if you are still looking for help.


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#15 of 15 Old 02-06-2012, 09:47 AM
 
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I just gave birth to my second child. I LOVE AP! We co-sleep with both of our girls and love it. When Dakota (our eldest) was a baby we really had no clue. For the first week we got NO sleep. So I told my DH, listen I'm gonna put her in the bed with us. That did the trick! Our second is the same. I wear baby Dharma (our 7 week old) in the moby wrap annd the ergo baby, though she seems to prefer the ergo. I used a sling with Dakota and she loved it, but Dharma does not at all. 

Id love to help and lend you some stories if you're still looking for help with your documentary. It sounds like a splendid idea.

PS-I also do a bit of scrapbooking!


 

-The Craftaholic
http://www.thecraftaholic.com

--------------------------------------------------------
“Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.”
Jalal ad-Din Rumi

 

 

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