Okay, I'm mad. (Negative stranger comment) - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-18-2004, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DH and I took DD grocery shopping today. I wore her in her beautiful EBMT and she was happy as a clam.

Lots of people smiled at us and made "How cute!" comments, except for one very mean-spirited lady.

She told me to sell the diamond earrings I was wearing so I could afford to buy a stroller.

She then told her husband that I was "abusing that baby".

I know that babywearing is not for everyone, but I would never go up to a mama I didn't know and tell her that she is abusing her child because the baby is in a stroller or shopping cart.

What is wrong with people? :
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thinking back on it, I should have pointed out to her that my earrings were fake and the carrier cost a lot more. :LOL
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:17 PM
 
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How RUDE! Some people just have no manners and no brains! I know it really burns you up but just blow it off-YOU know what you're doing is best and that's all that matters!
Take care
Ann

Full-time homeschooling mama : of a 15yo "teenager" , 12yo DIVA, 9yo builder, & 4yo treasure.
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:20 PM
 
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I'm sorry.

Moms wearing their babies look so beautiful and natural. Why that would tick anybody off is beyond me.
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:31 PM
 
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You have wayyyy more self-restraint that I do. I would have said something horrible, I'm sure. for you mama.
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your support, mamas.

I just don't understand the logic behind her comments. What the heck (I'm being polite here :LOL ) is abusive about carrying your child? I don't get it.

I've overhead other people saying "What a lucky baby!" but to go the polar opposite and be called abusive for holding the most valuable thing in the world? It makes NO SENSE to me.

Hold your babies, mamas, you both deserve it.
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:54 PM
 
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It must be grocery stores . . . I had a woman come up to me while I was carrying my oldest and say she wouldn't want to be stuck in that thing. The poor baby looks so squished and is being crushed.

I just sort of blinked a few times and walked off. The rest of the way through the store all I could think was A) Do you know how squished they are before they're born, they like being close to you! and B) You *&^&%^&$%&^$%, I'm glad you wouldn't want to be in here, because I'm not carrying you! (the brain of a mother of an infant works in mysterious ways :LOL)

All I can say kate42 is that that was 3.5 years ago. I've now slung two. We still sling both of them actually - my husband carried our 3 year old most of the day friday. I've never had another bad comment and I've had lots of positive ones. Some people are just, well, horrible
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Old 04-18-2004, 06:37 PM
 
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The answer in my mind if someone says something rude to me is 'why don't you piss off and mind your own business, you rude biddy???' Of course, if I ever find myself in the situation, I'd probably be caught so off guard, I wouldn't be able to say anything.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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Old 04-18-2004, 06:42 PM
 
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Oh my! I really have to wonder how some people come up with their thinkings??? And why they feel the need to be so mean?
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Old 04-18-2004, 06:57 PM
 
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Maybe she is so mean becuase noone held her as a babe
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Old 04-18-2004, 07:16 PM
 
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What a nutcase.

As for being uncomfy in the sling... umm, I don't know about y'all but my uterus is smaller than the pouch on my sling And she was mighty comfy in utero.... so I'd assume she's mighty comfy being balled right back up and snuggled against mommy again..... sure beats being out in the open world with scary people like THAT woman!

Kimberly
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Old 04-18-2004, 07:17 PM
 
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It amazes me that strangers will make such rude comments to people about things they don't even know.

BTW, what is an EBTM?
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Old 04-18-2004, 07:57 PM
 
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OMG - I can't believe people are SO rude!

My reaction would have been so different though. I think I would have laughed in her face and let it roll off my back.

Some people - some women (like my MIL) get very defensive when they SEE other people treating their babies completely differently (with compassion, warmth, tenderness, quick attention) than they did. It sets them off.... because they know... deep down, it's a direct criticism of their own parenting style - and they still feel twinges of guilt over it.

Her reaction was more about her own issues than you. That's why * I * can't take the drivel and lack of self-control of a complete stranger too seriously. I would have looked at her like she was insane - she is! And I don't take insane people seriously.

(Though my MIL said something to me a few weeks ago that had me boiling for 2 days. )

10 - boy
5.5 - girl
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Old 04-18-2004, 08:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Tanya, thanks for that. You're probably right.
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Old 04-18-2004, 10:14 PM
 
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I agree that people really bring their own issues into things. You know what too, people are going to say things occasionally no matter what you do. People get critizied for doing very healthy, and unhealthy things, and for popular things, and unpopular ones. What frustrates me is that we know we are doing what's right for our babies and families, but I also think that I'm not the only right one out there and there are lots of other families who do things way differently who still love, and care for their children in a sensitive way. I feel like saying, your way is not the only way to do things!!

Ashley, Jesus loving mama to Jaden (8) Trace (6) and Liam (3) and fost/adopt twins Talia and Oliva (1).  Happily married for a decade! 

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Old 04-18-2004, 10:32 PM
 
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How incredibly rude. What an insane woman! :
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Old 04-18-2004, 11:38 PM
 
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I almost fell out of my chair when I read what happened. I would have been so stunned to get a comment like that I think I would have been paralyzed!

How unhappy do these people have to be to make comments like that? What an awful view of the world they must have. You have got to have a terrible outlook on life to think carrying a baby is abusive. Just rotten to the core.
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Old 04-19-2004, 03:09 AM
 
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I'm speechless. Or I would have been if that comment would have been directed at me.

Maybe you could have said, "yea, I wish my child was in a stroller right now, so I could wrestle you to the ground and beat some sense into you!" :LOL
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Old 04-19-2004, 03:30 AM
 
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Wow, that's incredibly rude! Just because a stroller might cost more than a sling doesn't mean it's better anyway.
Quote:
Originally posted by melaniewb
BTW, what is an EBTM?
EBMT is Equanimity Baby Mei Tai.
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Old 04-19-2004, 05:53 AM
 
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That's funny, I've not worn my sling out a lot, but when I did one woman commented on how comfortable dd looked & that she wished someone would carry her around like that.
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Old 04-19-2004, 06:08 AM
 
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i'm sorry, but i probably would have laughed in her face.

that's so ridiculous... especially if the earrings weren't really diamonds ~ :LOL
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Old 04-19-2004, 04:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mrs. Edwards

Maybe you could have said, "yea, I wish my child was in a stroller right now, so I could wrestle you to the ground and beat some sense into you!" :LOL

i LOVE that response! :LOL :LOL :LOL but then we'd be stooping to her low level.

still made me chuckle though!
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Old 04-19-2004, 05:03 PM
 
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Wow... let's just chalk it up to age and ignorance I guess.

to you for keeping your baby warm and snuggled!
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Old 04-19-2004, 06:18 PM
 
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I probably would have said something like "yeah, well it's too bad someone didn't hold YOU more often as a baby, maybe you wouldn't be such a rude, miserable lady".

Well...I wish I could say that. In reality I probably would look at her like she was psycho...but I practice these comebacks just in case!

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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Old 04-19-2004, 06:22 PM
 
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Whoa! You must have been completely speechless, her comment came outta left field. Geez!

Married to my high school sweetheart. We have four awesome kids.
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Old 04-19-2004, 07:01 PM
 
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What a miserable old bat!

you have great restraint, I probably would have told her she needed to get laid more
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Old 04-19-2004, 07:45 PM
 
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What a strange woman! I think she's got some guilt in her somewhere.

BTW, comfy-looking carrier!

I would get funny looks or comments when I slug Ds in the kangaroo carry, but nothing rude. I think I'd have been speechless.
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Old 04-19-2004, 08:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Melaniee
What a strange woman! I think she's got some guilt in her somewhere.

BTW, comfy-looking carrier!

I would get funny looks or comments when I slug Ds in the kangaroo carry, but nothing rude. I think I'd have been speechless.
Melanie- we need to have a talk about this... you really shouldn't SLUG your ds!!!!

:
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Old 04-19-2004, 08:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by PadmaMorgana
you have great restraint, I probably would have told her she needed to get laid more
: :LOL
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Old 04-19-2004, 09:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by PadmaMorgana


What a miserable old bat!

you have great restraint, I probably would have told her she needed to get laid more
:LOL

I think I just stood there gaping at her. I thought of tons of "good" things to say to her on the car ride home.
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