Baby cries MORE after a day of BW - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 18 Old 04-14-2013, 07:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, all! FTM here, with a 6-week-old sweetheart of a baby. I was all about BW all through my pregnancy, and have a Moby and an Ergo. I don't think my baby has read the same articles and books I have about the benefits of babywearing. confused.gif She flat-out hates the Moby. Occasionally she'll consent to be in it for a while if her mood is JUST right (I have no idea what this consists of - I've tried sleepy, awake, fed, happy, wanting to be held, everything I can think of, nothing's consistently a winner), but it's not a given. Trying to "get her used to it a little at a time" would pretty much just equal either putting her in and immediately removing her, or doing some kind of weird Ferber thing where I let her cry in it, which I'm not going to do. Sigh.

 

The Ergo is a little better. She usually settles down in it once I'm moving, enough so that she'll then be ok if I'm not in constant motion after a little while. So I've used that more when we go out. 

 

But here's the thing - after a day with a lot of babywearing, she has HORRIBLE evening fussies. Overstimulated, tired, doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to sleep, MAD fussies. And while I know these are common at this age, she normally just doesn't do it unless I've been wearing her a lot that day. If I take her out in the - ugh - car seat or stroller, she may get tired and/or overstimulated, but it's not that intense of a process to calm her down and get her to sleep. The aftermath of a babywearing day usually involves at least an hour, maybe two, of yelling and rage. 

 

Any thoughts? She's pretty independent, except she really does want to be held when she's getting sleepy or in the evenings, so it'd be REALLY nice if I could just wear her rather than having to sit on the couch and hold her, or do whatever one-handed while I hold her. I'm thinking I may just have to wait until she can control her own head, kick her feet at my sides, and generally not feel so smushed in carriers.


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#2 of 18 Old 04-14-2013, 10:46 PM
 
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I'm not saying it's not the baby wearing, but babies naturally are fussy at night for the first few months. It peaks around eight weeks and then should taper off.

The first couple of weeks I had to bounce the baby in the carrier until he fell asleep and then he would continue to sleep while I got things done. He lived in that thing probably six hours a day for the first four months of his life. Without it I would have had a much messier house! Give it time. If it doesn't work then maybe try again in a few weeks. Good luck!

Edit: you could also try the moby with her legs out instead of in or try swaddling her tightly before putting her in. Both of those techniques worked for us during desperate moments.
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#3 of 18 Old 04-15-2013, 10:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you!


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#4 of 18 Old 04-15-2013, 11:16 AM
 
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My little infant wasn't into baby wearing or swaddling, but got into it later at about 4 months when he could sit up in the carrier and see what was happening! He much preferred the bouncy chair as a newborn because he was always alert and just liked to see the action.

Everyone has personal preferences! Just go with what your baby likes and roll with it.
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#5 of 18 Old 04-15-2013, 12:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, Michelle!

 

Sigh. I just tied her to my front with an old bedsheet and she loves it. Babies! ROTFLMAO.gif


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#6 of 18 Old 04-16-2013, 01:22 PM
 
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My experience mirrors Michelle's almost exactly.  My daughter loathed any kind of carrier I could wear until she had great head control.  My husband carried her in the Bjorn and she liked that but I'm too short for a Bjorn.  I just kept trying every week and eventually she loved it and I went on to carry her in a Peanut Shell and a Nojo until she was two and a half!  Good luck!

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#7 of 18 Old 04-16-2013, 09:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you, Corrina!


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#8 of 18 Old 04-17-2013, 09:03 PM
 
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The fact that your baby loved being worn in a bed sheet implies that she does like being worn, she just isn't loving the carriers. You and she might be happier with a woven wrap or a ring sling. You didn't say how heavy she is but it's possible that she doesnt feel supported by the stretchy wrap, or by the Ergo although for a different reasons. Soft structured carriers such as the Ergo are not recommended for babies until they are able to sit unassisted.
Legs out is the optimal and recommended positioning in any carrier.
A woven wrap or ring sling will provide more support for your babe and more support than a bed sheet!
A Babywearing group could be really helpful.
Best of luck to you mama!
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#9 of 18 Old 04-25-2013, 02:38 AM
 
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I had the same problem with my eldest. She hated the sling I had and I found it so stressful trying to get her in and out while she was obviously upset. Someone gave me a ring sling and that was much better, no idea why, maybe she wasn't as restrained? Whatever it was it worked for me, I also found those easier to wear, easier to get on and off etc. And sometimes she'd fall asleep in it and I could lie her on the bed still in it without disturbing her too much.

Has anyone you know got one that you could try?

Good luck.

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#10 of 18 Old 04-26-2013, 03:52 PM
 
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My son HATED being worn as a baby... he was very attached to me and loved being carried in my arms which leads me to believe he too may not have enjoyed the carriers... I tried all of them, the only way he'd be calm was if I rocked him or moved around but rocking and moving solved anything so I don't necessarily believe that made him like being worn any more. He was also really quick to sit up, stand and walk... he walked by 8.5months. 

He started to tolerate it a bit more once he became shaped like a "little boy" (that's our term for it lol, as opposed to a baby which is shaped more like a ham haha)

It's only NOW after he's turned a year old that he's enjoying being worn! He LOVES the back carry in the Ergo, sometimes I take big bouncy steps and it makes him giggle uncontrollably. It's a good thing they're good for up to 45lbs because it's a lot of money to spend on something you can't use much. 

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#11 of 18 Old 04-26-2013, 04:02 PM
 
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parenting is not about books, ideologies or  a  crunchy cred, it is about your baby. If you baby cries more with BW, he is not a BW baby. get a stroller. My first kid hates BW. He has larger than other people need for personal space. I respect that.

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#12 of 18 Old 04-27-2013, 01:38 PM
 
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You write that your baby was fussy AFTER a day of baby-wearing.  Does that mean that she is yelling when you are no longer wearing her?

Our second baby needed to be worn/held close 24/7.  Period.  Our first baby was not like that at all.

 

We decided that WE would get more rest and sanity if we just wore/held him 24/7.  So we did, and we were all happy. As long as he was held, he was perfectly happy and never cried AT ALL.  the second we put him down, no matter what time, he screamed his head off, and wouldn't stop.  

 

Our pediatrician wasn't happy (he thought babies should sleep by themselves in cribs, NOT in their mommy's arms) but I told him that we didn't care where everyone slept as long as we all slept.


But that's not for everyone.

 

You've probably already seen this, but just in case:  http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby

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#13 of 18 Old 04-27-2013, 01:49 PM
 
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My LO likes BW sometimes but not all the time.  I finally started using his stroller and he's so much happier.  He's cuddly when he's tired but when he's awake he doesn't want to be messed with.  So I use his seat and his swing as well as laying him out on the floor a lot more now and he's happier.  It's based on what your bb want mama.  Just try out different things and don't get too upset about bb not liking BW. 

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#14 of 18 Old 05-07-2013, 10:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Taximom, what a clever question! No, I'm afraid she's not crying because I took her out of the carrier; she starts crying IN the carrier, I take her out. She seems calmer and happier out of it...then a few hours later, we have a really fussy evening. Every. Single. Time. 

 

She's very long - 25.5" at just over 2 months (3 months corrected; she was very late). I had her in the Ergo with her legs out the other day and she was ok for a bit. I just kept it very short.

 

Imakcerka, that does sound like my LO. More and more, she wants the Boppy seat or something like that. If I'm holding her, she prefers to be either using me as an armchair, looking out at the room, or on her back on my lap, looking up at the ceiling. She'll snuggle when she's sleepy (REALLY sleepy; if she's just getting sleepy, no dice), though. And she's so verbal and smiley most of the time, I don't feel like we're missing out on any bonding. 

 

It's amazing how many different parenting techniques come out of the same goal - just keep them from screaming!


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#15 of 18 Old 05-08-2013, 06:58 PM
 
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My little guy started getting very fussy around 6 weeks as well, I beleive it is an adjustment period for them.  As far as the baby wearing goes, I think they feel most comforted and loved when being carried by their mother's arms, the bodily contact is more important than people tend to think. It may be her way of demanding more contact.

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#16 of 18 Old 05-09-2013, 05:19 PM
 
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6 weeks is one of the major growth spurt times, which often means marathon nursing for a few days until the milk supply is signficanty increased. Could that be a factor?

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#17 of 18 Old 05-10-2013, 06:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by TallToriV View Post

Taximom, what a clever question! No, I'm afraid she's not crying because I took her out of the carrier; she starts crying IN the carrier, I take her out. She seems calmer and happier out of it...then a few hours later, we have a really fussy evening. Every. Single. Time. 

 

She's very long - 25.5" at just over 2 months (3 months corrected; she was very late). I had her in the Ergo with her legs out the other day and she was ok for a bit. I just kept it very short.

 

Imakcerka, that does sound like my LO. More and more, she wants the Boppy seat or something like that. If I'm holding her, she prefers to be either using me as an armchair, looking out at the room, or on her back on my lap, looking up at the ceiling. She'll snuggle when she's sleepy (REALLY sleepy; if she's just getting sleepy, no dice), though. And she's so verbal and smiley most of the time, I don't feel like we're missing out on any bonding. 

 

It's amazing how many different parenting techniques come out of the same goal - just keep them from screaming!

 

 

Preach it!   Dh has his own techniques on how to keep Si happy.  Dh doesn't like wearing the wrap but will hold Si face out for long periods of time while he does things or puts him in his seat and moves him from room to room with him.  I end up adopting his way since he really knows what the bb wants more than I do.  I go by what I think the baby should like, DH is better at reading cues with this one. 

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#18 of 18 Old 05-12-2013, 12:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL, mine too. He's quicker to say "I don't think she likes it," where I'm still going "But Dr. Sears and the people on MDC all say she'll love this!" Especially, and I say this respectfully, posts like the ones above. She was crying when being worn, and happy when being left in her crib or Boppy. I don't think that's how she'd be asking for more time in my arms!  Wouldn't she be happier being worn, or after a day of being worn, if that's what she liked best?

 

Of course, babies being babies, this is changing now. I've been able to wear her several times this week (yaaaay! SO much easier than stroller wrangling) but she still prefers being in her own space. Rolling with the punches...


Proud Marine Corps wife tiptoeing into SAH parenting. Living happily ever after with my Beast, baby Ginny (3/1/13), two dogs, and two ratties.

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