I've been trying to wear my baby as much as possible, but I find certain times impossible to wear her so I put her down on her playmat or swing. for example.....
When I exercise at home (or gym childcare- she stays in swing and naps the whole time)- I sometimes wear her and do squats/lunges- but theres a limit to what exercises I can do while wearing her, and I really like to be able to bounce around and not have to worry about my child attached to me when I am exercising. I do take her for walks in the carrier everyday.
Getting dressed- obviously can't wear her while doing that.
Doing dishes-- she's 13 weeks and I still only wear her on the front-- doing dishes I just get us both wet and can't get close enough to the sink.
When I am tired and I just want to lay down on my stomach and read or lay back in bed on my laptop... I am not comfortable wearing her when I just want to lounge around, so I put her on the bed or floor on a sheepskin next to me.
the carriers I use are ergo, moby and k'tan.
I'd really like to get a better buckle carrier (the ergo hurts my back and the wide structured hip band isn't padded enough and isn't flexible enough so I can't bend very well in it. I'm also really interested in getting a non-stretchy wrap and learning how to do a back carry- because it seems like that would make a lot of the things I do on a daily basis a lot easier- like household chores, writing at my computer (i freelance) and just moving in general!
advice? I read the continuum concept and now every time I put her down i feel super guilty- I'd love to carry her constantly but I'm just having issues with it.
natibaby sells wraps with small flaws at a discount if you can afford to sink the money into them but the wraps are good quality and will last a long time. If you like the ergo you may like a meitai with a padded waist belt. it would allow you to get her really high up on your back for back carries.
We did an in arms period, as per the continuum concept, with both girls and, to be honest with you, there were just some things which I had to be willing to let go for that period unless there was someone else around to hold the baby.
For doing dishes I sort of turn sideways and just work around the baby. I didnt usually mind getting a bit damp but I have been known to throw an apron over the top of us both as well.
If I wanted to lie down, I would lie on the bed with the baby on or next to me. Otherwise I sat in an armchair with her in the carrier.
Exercise I did while wearing them. I chose not to do the sort of exercise which would require putting them down in the first few months. I think CC and in-arms is great and I loved it but it does require some changes and adaptations and some things just aren't compatible with it. Whatever JL might say I never did work out how to make a bed with a baby on my front.
I think you just need to decide on a case by case basis what is more important or necessary, the activity or carrying the baby. Those things will probably change day to day as well depending on how you both feel. And don't forget that the optimal situation is several loving adult carers so don't be afraid to let close family members and your DH do some of the holding as well.
Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012
I think that's the main problem with adapting the continuum concept for me-- she based her observations on babies living in a tribe with MANY family members and friends to hold the baby--- in my life it's JUST me from 6AM to 5PM and it's very hard to have her attached to me for 11 hours straight. ohhhhhh I would love to live in a tribe.. I really hope we all go back to that one day. Husband and I are working on moving into a cooperative household with several other couples with babies so that would help immensely.
It sounds like you are being really conscientious about this and you putting your LO down next to you or near you instead of carrying is not all that bad. The continuum concept is a great antidote to a really cold and alien style of parenting popular in the states at the time of the book's publication. In my opinion, it is not a rigid set of rules you must follow lest you damage your attachment to your baby. It sounds like you are doing great, and giving yourself the space you need (as in a few feet!) to do what you need to do from time to time.
When you can safely do a back carry with whatever carrier you choose, housework will become much easier and you won't have to do weird side bending squats as much, or do all your dishes facing sideways. I remember transitioning to the back carry with the Ergo much later, because the legs have to be so open. Someone taught me a Kenyan way to do a back carry, which was cool. Maybe you could find some experienced baby wearers who just use a piece of cloth, or mine youtube for videos.
It's hard to try to wear your baby all day and do what you normally do when it is not part of your culture or tradition to wear babies. Then you have to figure it all out yourself! Sounds like you are doing a good job. I remember feeling like I had somehow failed when I used a vibrating bouncy seat instead of carrying my baby when I made dinner sometimes. Don't be this hard on yourself. In the village, babies are also passed around for convenience (not just solid attachment).
Check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDdPf3p5eKw
Three kanga carries and one in the front w/a piece of cloth. The ones I have are a little shorter than sarongs, but a sarong would work. It helps to practice with someone around and then you can learn together how/where to tighten the fabric to support baby's bum/back and head. You can do the one with the legs tucked in before you can back carry with the Ergo or other soft structured carrier.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1386843/diy-practice-baby you can use a kanga like a rebozo for a back carry and their are video's on youtube of them using them with tiny little babies they just don't spread there legs very far.
if you are having trouble babywearing all day, then don't. I respect your want to follow the CC, and your love for your baby shines through your post, but I find following one parenting philosophy to the letter just results in feeling like a "failure" as a parent, and you are not, at all. I think you should do what works for you. Sending you lots of love and positive thoughts
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