First, hugs to you. Are you getting the help you need with this news? I can’t imagine. Don’t really know what to say other than that I feel for you.
About the sling, yea, I could imagine that another sling would work better as your child gets older. First, the upright carry in the ring sling could work two ways – with his head at the ring or opposite side (leaving plenty of room to tighten up). I put the butt in first then lay the rest of the body in while I remove my arm – then tighten the sling. You can also do a reclining carry with just the legs out at the knees. Also the carry where the legs are crossed in front but my DC never liked that.
I have one of those long carriers that you tie in all kinds of ways (just a long piece of fabric). It works really, really well – IF you get it tied on there well. There’s about a billion ways to tie it on this Swedish site – I’ll look for it. You could get quite a bit more support for your child’s head with this type of carrier. I got mine on e-bay for like $20. I could find the seller if you want. Also, you could just buy a large piece of fabric to test – that’s basically all these are anyway.
There are also quite a bit of carriers with more structure that I’ve never heard of – maybe some mamas can help with those.
I don’t know if this is an option for you because it’s not quite skin to skin baby carrying but I would consider one of those backpack strollers. There’re really city friendly (I see your in the SF area) because there’re small as strollers. You can lift your child on and off your back as you get tired or as he gets fussy and wants to see more at your level. I used one for a trip along with the sling and it worked well for long days. I was in love with this borrowed contraption until DC’s feet got caught in the wheel cover – ouch! I imagine that they have some better designs out these days but I though.
One more thought, being in SF you may find some shops that would be willing to lend you a sling to use for a few days. There were definitely shops in Santa Cruz that allowed that. Also, I’d frequent the consignment shops.
Gotta go – DC wants something. Wishing you and your son well, mama.
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