Do people ever look at you strange when you are babywearing? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 43 Old 07-08-2006, 01:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I could hear whispers today as I was slinging my son onto my back with the ergo...They were saying "she's going to drop that baby!" : Gah! No I'm not! I could see the glares and hear the whispers and it actually really upset me. My son loves to be worn. He likes being close to his mama and would prefer that over the stroller.

Do you ever get strange looks/comments?
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#2 of 43 Old 07-08-2006, 10:03 PM
 
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Oh yeah, I've had some crazy things said to me. Often times people don't recognize that I'm carrying a baby (I most often use my ella roo) and they'll walk right up to me and then yell "oh I didn't realize that was a baby in there" It is really weird. People also ask if they can breathe alright - like I'd be purposefully suffocating my kiddo. I've had people point and people grab the wrap to pull it so they can get a better look at the baby. It is all kinda weird!

I try not to let it get to me. I know that I need to carry my baby - it's the easiest and best thing for me - so they can sit on it. Plus I always just look at those sad babies stuck in the plastic buckets and it makes me want to go pick them up.

SAHM to four beautiful babes :
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#3 of 43 Old 07-08-2006, 10:44 PM
 
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Yeah, sometimes it's hard to stop caring what everyone is thinking/saying. It's really bad when you can hear them second guessing you.

I always smile really nicely and rave about how much DS loves it. OR, if I don't feel like making small talk, I just smile sweetly and walk off.

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#4 of 43 Old 07-08-2006, 10:49 PM
 
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I get some weird looks, but I usually get complements and things like.....the things they come up with. (ya, like 100s of years ago)

Done with diapers!!

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#5 of 43 Old 07-08-2006, 10:51 PM
 
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A few weeks ago I was in line at the store, and DS was on my hip in the nojo. The middle-aged women behind me were talking (quietly, but not quietly enough!) about how DS looked like he could "climb right out of that thing..." - when I turned around after I cashed out, one of them gasped and went to grab for my son as if he was going to fall right out when I moved! I reassured them he was perfectly safe in the sling.

Also, last month we went to a local art festival and DS was in the New Native, and I heard a family joking about how I was carrying a baby in a "potato sack"!

A, wife to R and mom to 3 boys: D~ 10/05, J~ 8/07, and B~ 12/09 jumpers.gif

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#6 of 43 Old 07-08-2006, 11:15 PM
 
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uhh ya! Just today a friend of mine said gezz the things they come up with then said she wished they had them around for her DD I really wanted to say woman have been carrying babies in sling for hundreds of years. She later commented on how calm my DD was and how much she seemed to love it.I was using my hotsling

Betsy, Mommy to DS (10) DD (4) DS (2) and DS (1)
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#7 of 43 Old 07-08-2006, 11:19 PM
 
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Once when DS was a few months old, a woman in Wal Mart was surprised when I turned around and she realized "there was a baby in there". She said "Oh my gosh I thought your arm was broken!" I've gotten a lot of the "Can he breathe in there??" comments, and just the usual curious "What IS that" stares every time I go to the store. Now that DS is 11 months old, I think some people think "He's too big for her to be carrying him everywhere". Oh well. DS loves the sling, and is much happier and can't get into the mischief he can if he's sitting in a shopping cart where he can snatch anything within reach!
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#8 of 43 Old 07-08-2006, 11:29 PM
 
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The first time I EVER wore my first out in public, a woman said to her friend as they passed by us, "That baby looks squished!" My DP had to literally hold me back b/c I was about to go after her. Not sure what I would've done if I caught her, but... the pp hormones were raging and I just thought that was so rude.

Nowadays I mostly get smiles, and nice comments -- "Oh, what a clever thing" and "she looks so comfy/content/happy" etc. At the playground it's a great icebreaker too, I can suss out other AP mamas by their knowledge of/interest in my sling.
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#9 of 43 Old 07-09-2006, 08:48 PM
 
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Luckily I live in a pretty liberal town so I don't get a lot of weird looks or comments (maybe I just can't hear them talking behind my back). There was one time at the store when the checkout lady said "He looks like he has no legs!" about ds who was in a New Native pouch. Mostly people say positive things about the slings and ds. A few people have even asked me where I got my MT.
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Mom to Elijah (6/05) and Moses (6/08) and baby Joshua, UBAC February 18, 2011!

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#10 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 10:14 AM
 
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People love their huge stroller systems and can't imagine why anyone would want a baby strapped to them. They are clueless.

Kristen
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#11 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 10:23 AM
 
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Gosh, I hope I am not one of those people who slingin' mamas think are giving weird looks! I am so envious of mamas who use slings...I think it is soooooo practical and wonderful, I just had never heard of it when my DC were little! I don't think my 11 yr old would appreciate being put in a sling When I pass someone who is wearing their child I always try to smile or wink and hopefully they know that is in awe and admiration!!!!!!!
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#12 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 10:27 AM
 
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Nah, mostly curious looks and smiles. If anyone comments, it's to ask me where I got my sling or ergo or if my backpack hurts my back.
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#13 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 02:35 PM
 
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at our local pool a little boy came up to me to ask if my dd had legs since she was all folded up in a pouch.

At target I have had 2 people ask if I was carrying a doll *when dd was first born* yeah im 30 yrs old and carrying a doll around

At a baby shower a friends mom came up to me and said "she looks so uncomfortable all squished up like that" I said "she likes it, you dont hear her crying do you? and how do you think they are when they are inside of you?" she shut up really quick
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#14 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 02:48 PM
 
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one of my good friends was wearing her 3 month old dd in her hotsling in the grocery store over the weekend. someone actually had the audacity to say loudly near her, "well, if you're going to be too lazy to carry your baby with your own two hands, you best have left it at home". she turned around & said..."i'd never leave my daughter at home just to go to the store. she's where she belongs...close to my heart." i thought that what she said was beautiful.

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#15 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 03:02 PM
 
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I get odd looks all the time here. Thankfully babywearing is becoming popular here in Stockholm but unfortunately this is the country that gave the world the baby björn....everytime I see a newborn/small baby in one of those I feel slightly homicidal.

Once a woman was staring at me and dd on my back in the wrap so much that she walked into the side of the waiting subway train. And at the local store where I pick up my mail packages the man who owns the place (he's not Swedish) asked me where I was from and I told him Canada. I had dd in the sling and he said "Does everyone in Canada carry their baby like that?" I laughed and said no, only a few. He said it was too bad because she looked really happy and comfortable.

When I was in Canada several people made the "I wish they had something like that around when I had my child(ren)" like it's a new thing. I've also had plenty of nice comments made to me while travelling Stockholm-London-Newfoundland-Nova Scotia when dd was 7½ months, 15 months, and 22 months old.

Oddly enough dh gets less odd looks than I do when he has dd in the sling.
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#16 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 03:14 PM
 
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I have only gotten smiles.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#17 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 03:41 PM
 
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If my dd is with me she is in her ergo 95% of the time. I have never heard anything negative, but I get countless positive remarks. I've had women stop me at the grocery store and then run out the next day and buy one. I've got 2 friends using ergos and just last week at the park a woman thought it was the nicest looking carrier she'd ever seen and said how happy dd looked. I was happy to share all the info about it with her. I can't even imagine someone saying something negative, I'm not sure how I would react. The worst I've heard is "does your back hurt?", but in a curious way...so I wasn't offended. Though my most annoying remark was "do you have license to drive that thing?", it doesn't even make sense to me :

I of course hate the strangers that come right up and feel the need to touch my dd's face, especially when she is on my back and they sneak up behind me....HOW RUDE!:
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#18 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 03:44 PM
 
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But I swear its because I'm
1) jealous of their cute sling/wrap/pouch etc.
2) am trying to figure out what kind it is
3) working up the courage to just ask them where they got it.

I try not to stare, I try to be surreptitious, but if you got a wierd look from somebody it might have been me. But I promise its not disparaging in any way.

Mom to Kira March 2009
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#19 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 03:57 PM
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I've gotten the "can she breath in there" several times as well as few people telling me how I was going to cause some kind of spinal damage or something, and of course a few wierd looks.

BUT! I've also gotten a "She just looks so cozy in there" and "I wish someone would carry me like that, too" a few times as well

And a few days ago when we were on a walk with dd in the Mei Tei we encountered two women, one of whom wondered "what if that knot comes undone--won't the baby fall?" and her friend quickly responded "Of course not! How would it just come undone? I mean, you would feel it loosening first of all..."

PhDin' mama to dd (Oct. 2005)
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#20 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 08:10 PM
 
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I've had "are you sure she's alive?"
I had a woman who felt the need to tell me about a woman at a flea market who thought her baby was asleep in a ring sling on her back but the baby was dead.
but mostly I've had VERY positive remarks.
This past weekend at the farmers market though a client of mine, her sister freaked when I looped the top straps of the mei tie under dd's arms and then swung her up and over my back, she dropped her packages and then came running over to rescue my giggling daughter. Ummm, thanks....I think we're ok.
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#21 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 08:32 PM
 
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Dh was once asked "is there a dog in there?" when dd was in the sling

I did a few odd looks when I was in school and I had dd in the mei tai on my back, with my computer bag on one shoulder. It was much easier to do it that way then to try to navigate the steps with a stroller.

When dd was about 9 months old I had her sitting facing out in the sling and she was learning to wave to everyone. Someone commented that she looked like she was riding a float! :
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#22 of 43 Old 07-10-2006, 10:41 PM
 
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Once when dd was like 2 mo old I was sitting up at the front of the store on one of those benches with her in the cradle carry in a MW, not far from the ride on toys. So this family comes up, and the mother shoots me this weird look. They stand there (wife, husband, and 2 kids) waiting to ride the dinosaur. Then the lady starts talking with her husband about how my baby probably cant breathe and its probably too hot and on and on. Now theyre like...15 ft away, so I can hear everything theyre saying. So my mama hormones are freaking out because it was so WRONG!! Finally I got up and walked over, right as they were ready to go, so the wife takes off out the door and leaves the husband to talk to me. I said, " I really hope you teach your children that its not ok to talk about people, because its rude." So he fumbled around saying he didnt know what I was talking about and walks out. I was livid. I guess it was just the mama bear syndrome. It was just that they were saying such mean things. Now I would handle it much differently....but thats the only negative experience I've had. Other than that I get the "oh she's gonna fall out!!" but only in a concerned way, and I usually just assure people that she's FINE and that she LIKES it!!
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#23 of 43 Old 07-11-2006, 06:46 PM
 
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Actually, I was just thinking about this the other day. I had to go into Walmart for the first time in a VERY long time (the nearest Walmart is 40 miles away in a town called Spencer - we were there to buy bread at the bakery outlet place and my oldest wanted to spend some of his birthday money on a toy). Anyway, my 11 yo son, 14 month old daughter, and i walked around the store, talking and laughing, and were on the receiving end of many, many stares. I was sort of perplexed about it until I realized that it was likely because a) I was carrying my baby in a rebozo, and maybe due to b) the tattoo on the back of my right hand (which I just got on Saturday). Add in the piercings, the bandana, and the bright orange t-shirt depicting a wide-open mouth with the words "look! no cavities!" emblazoned upon it, and I guess I looked pretty weird to everyone else in the store. And I loved it! Ha!

I've gotten stares, weird looks, and one "I can't believe you would wear that" remarks (wear what? the baby or the ring sling?) - but I've also gotten many smiles, and more than one "That's awesome"-s and "how cool! i wish i'd had that"-s. My all-time favorite, though, is "she looks so happy."
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#24 of 43 Old 07-11-2006, 07:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetest
Dh was once asked "is there a dog in there?" when dd was in the sling
(*chuckle*) This cracked me up . . . my mother and I went to the Sunday Market over the weekend, and one of the booths was a woman selling slings. At first I thought there were just baby slings, until I looked over and saw that she also had a small display of slings for (small-breed) dogs!

She noticed me checking out the slings and, since I was holding 4-month-old DD in my arms at the time, asked if I wanted to check one of them out. I laughed and pointed out that I WAS wearing a sling (my Maya Wrap); I just had it around my waist and DD in my arms, as it was about 85 degrees and we were both too hot for babywearing!
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#25 of 43 Old 07-12-2006, 12:54 AM
 
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Mostly I get positive comments (and that oh so prevalent "I wish they'd had that when my kids were little!... I usually bite my tongue) but twice now when I've been swinging ds onto my back (rebozo or wrap) I've had these middle-aged guys come running up to me and nearly snatch ds off of my back. If anything is going to make me drop him, running up behind me while I'm wrapping him and putting your strange hands on him is a very good start! I don't think I look that incompetent!

me, wife to dh, the movie geek (7/01), mama to ds1, budding Star Wars geek (10/05), dd, budding princess of the dirt (03/08) and ds2, budding extrovert. watch out! (8/10).
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#26 of 43 Old 07-12-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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We live in a very mainstream area so people are always looking at us, especially Dh. We usually get fairly benign comments like "that is such a neat invention, I wish they had something like that when I had my kids." If you only knew.
Last weekend we were at the mall for sidewalk sale and I had Dd1, 3.5 years in a sling on my hip and Dh and Dd2,11.5 months in a sling on his. A women commented "at least it can't be said that you don't know where your kids are." I'm pretty sure it was complementary.

Mom to 3 girls, and someone new coming June '11
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#27 of 43 Old 07-13-2006, 11:32 AM
 
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Even in NYC I was getting stares! I got so tired of it, I decided I was going to stare right back. My dh finally wore dd last night in a new Hotsling I bought for us to share (he was surprised how comfy it was), but it seems too big on me.

I mostly get these:
Is there a real baby in there?
I thought your arm was broken!
Can she breathe?
I wish they had those when my dc was little!

DS - 5! - adopted at birth after infertility, IUI, and IVF; DD - 4! - surprise pregnancy discovered when DS was 8 months old ; Hoping for another soon (actively TTC ~ 2 years)
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#28 of 43 Old 07-13-2006, 11:18 PM
 
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I had a bus driver give me tips for how to adjust my sling to be easier on my back the other day, he had three kids and used similar slings for all of them.

Only in Portland, I guess!
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#29 of 43 Old 07-14-2006, 12:51 AM
 
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I do get strange looks a lot, but I think it's only becuase people are seeing something they rarely see... it just takes them a minute to process, and they are curious. I've never gotten what I would consider a dirty look, except once when I was bf'ing in the sling.

When dd was an infant, I got a lot of 'can she breathe' and 'Gasp! I didn't know there was a baby in there!'

Recently, I mostly have had people ask where I bought my sling, interested in buying one for self or as gift. Many people comment on how neat it is, or say something like 'that's the best way to ride' or 'the best seat in the house'.

Of course I've had my fair share of 'I wish those were around when my kids were little', including from a woman standing there with her four year old daughter . I've begun replying with "They did, YOU just didn't know about it" in my sweetest voice.
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#30 of 43 Old 07-14-2006, 02:49 AM
 
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People ALWAYS think I'm going to drop her and ask if I need help.

But I get lots of compliments and alot of "did you make that?" (i use wraps, mostly...and I DONT make them)
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