How to explain babywearing to non-beleivers - Mothering Forums
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Babywearing > How to explain babywearing to non-beleivers
RainbowsMum's Avatar RainbowsMum 04:45 AM 11-19-2006
Hey, I was just wanting ideas on how to explain the whole babywearing (Carrying them everywhere and co-sleeping) I'm about to get VERY rude with the next person who says something like I'm just "obsessed" with her or that she's being "manipulative" I fear they may not understand anyway - When it comes down to it either way no matter what anyone says I'm gunna keep on doing what I'm doing but I just wanna see if theres a better way to explain it so they can see where I'm coming from. Thanks

philomom's Avatar philomom 05:13 AM 11-19-2006
Babies don't last long. Soon enough I'll be chasing her.

Holding your baby instills a strong sense of trust in you and the world at large.

They fuss less if held more.

No, they aren't that heavy.

Spoil a baby? Only milk spoils.
425lisamarie's Avatar 425lisamarie 05:29 AM 11-19-2006
I think it's kind of funny, I hear all of these stories about woman who get all these rude comments, people that stop them on the street, etc to tell them wacky things about wearing a sling. I've never had this happen . I mean, sure, the random person here and there asking where I got it or something....maybe I just don't notice or people don't want to talk to me I've only had little comments on a nice note
mothragirl's Avatar mothragirl 06:22 AM 11-19-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by 425lisamarie View Post
I think it's kind of funny, I hear all of these stories about woman who get all these rude comments, people that stop them on the street, etc to tell them wacky things about wearing a sling. I've never had this happen . I mean, sure, the random person here and there asking where I got it or something....maybe I just don't notice or people don't want to talk to me I've only had little comments on a nice note
same here
aisraeltax's Avatar aisraeltax 06:24 AM 11-19-2006
my friends believe i hold my baby too much but he is the best baby i have ever been around (didnt know about them before finding mdc).

worn babies are happy,healthy and very well adjusted!
skueppers's Avatar skueppers 07:10 AM 11-19-2006
"One of the best things about babywearing is that it puts the baby up closer to adult eye level, so she gets more of a chance to learn about social interactions and the way language is used in everyday situations. I can't imagine keeping my baby in a stroller, where she'd mostly be exposed to people's knees!"
ChristyMarie's Avatar ChristyMarie 12:24 PM 11-19-2006
***knock on wood*** I've also only received positive comments. Besides the occassional question of "can he breathe in there?" LOL.

I think I would just point out to anyone who was concerned that the baby certainly seemed happy, right?

I keep hoping to convert friends but so far no go. I suggested getting one to a mom the other weekend who was complaining she couldn't get stuff done while carrying him. She looked at me like I was insane, "But he's 25 pounds!!!" Yeah, and he'll feel a heck of a lot lighter in a carrier. ***eye roll***
Chronic Chrissy's Avatar Chronic Chrissy 02:00 PM 11-19-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by skueppers View Post
"One of the best things about babywearing is that it puts the baby up closer to adult eye level, so she gets more of a chance to learn about social interactions and the way language is used in everyday situations. I can't imagine keeping my baby in a stroller, where she'd mostly be exposed to people's knees!"
:
I also like to point out that women have been carrying their babies for multiple millenia, and still do today in many places around the world. Studies have shown that babies worn in Africa do not show signs of colick, and that mothers there aren't even awear of the concept of burping because it is not needed. As well they are able to nurse at any time during normal daily activities with out hindering the mother because nursing is hands free.

Then there are things that people these days understand better, like strollers are expensive, heavy, cold, they take up space in your house, in your car, then you haver to tak 10 minutes to set the damn things up and get the child in them, and if you have snow like we do here you might as well put skis on the damn things because they don't work so well. The once you get in the store they don't fit in any of the stores and if thet do people block your way by standin in the middle of the aisle. Same goes for carseats. Plus you don't have to screw with snow suits, you and the baby are toasty warm sharing heat, and they get to feel your heartbeat and rythmatic breathing, and how it changes according to certain situations thus teaching them the foundation of emotions.

Oh and the baby is not manipulating you because if you don't WANT to do it you don't have to, my DD will ride in a stroller or car seat happily. But then everyone sticks their faces in there and the sheild acts like a funnel to their germy breath, and for some reason they feel it is ok to touch them, this happens allot less when you wear tem. Anyways I've dedicated enough to this today, happy babywearing:
PrettyBird's Avatar PrettyBird 02:11 PM 11-19-2006
I have never had a negative comment about my sling! Quite the opposite! It seems like everywhere I go I get people asking about it and asking where to get one. DD is always so calm in the sling. Co-sleeping, on the other hand, is a different story. People think it is so weird DD doesn't have her own room.
BetsyS's Avatar BetsyS 03:02 PM 11-19-2006
I was shopping in the international market Friday, and I had 3 different women come up to tell me how much the sling reminded me of "my home country." One was Haitian, one Romanian, and one Korean. Pretty cool.
my4magpies's Avatar my4magpies 03:10 PM 11-19-2006
I have never had anyone say anything rude to me either...I've even had strangers tell me how neat it is that I can carry my baby like that.

Just be strong in what you believe in, to hell with those who don't understand!!
mommyto3girls's Avatar mommyto3girls 03:13 PM 11-19-2006
We had older dd's birthday party yesterday at a pizza place. Sage was fussy because she would not take a morning nap and it was already past afternoon nap time. Everyone and there brother wanted to try to calm her and of course nothing worked. Even me just holding her she was mad and trying to get down. I put on the sling, popped her in and instant calm baby. I had people not even involved with the party telling me that looked like a miracle item! Of course we also had 2 other mommas with slings there
oggiemom's Avatar oggiemom 05:07 PM 11-19-2006
Hang in there momma! You know what you are doing is best for your child and that is all that matters.

I live in LA and babywearing is becoming quite common here. Like one of the pp said I get alot of the "home country" comments with smiles full of nastolgic longing. Every now and then I get a question about it and I explain that it is comforting to him and a more natural way to carry a baby than in a stroller. The cosleeping can be a harder sale. Most people when they find out we co sleep explain to me how to basically use the ferber method as if I didn't know it existed. I usually politely listen to their spill and then just simply state I was aware of that tactic, but I have done research and chosen to cosleep because it works best for my child. Luckily my doctor is an advocate for co sleeping so I toss in the "my doctor recommends it" statement to which they usually quiten down.
mollyeilis's Avatar mollyeilis 05:11 PM 11-19-2006
*I'm lucky in that my MIL is Korean, so I can easily cite a FAR more ancient culture than ours, in explaining babywearing.

*Recently I've been using my stroller more often (the Ergo is bulky when wearing warm clothes, my back has been hurting), and that thing is a PAIN! I can't imagine how people think strollers are convenience items, at least when you only have one kid (with more than one I imagine the convenience grows). : Using that thing, every time, I realize how much easier wearing him is.

*I have to take him with me anyway, I can't leave him at home or in the car. So I might as well have him in something that we both like, that is easy and convenient, and doesn't make me tear my hair out or ask others for help (I never need someone to hold the door for me when he's in the Ergo, for instance).


*And he gets to interact with peoples' faces, rather than their knees or crotches...
skueppers's Avatar skueppers 05:17 PM 11-19-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollyeilis View Post
and doesn't make me tear my hair out or ask others for help (I never need someone to hold the door for me when he's in the Ergo, for instance).
This is such a good point. I never have to look for an elevator, try to find space for my stroller in the subway or on the bus, worry about the terrain, etc. My kid can go anywhere I can go.

I remember the first time I went somewhere with a mom who was using a stroller -- since I didn't have one, I had never really understood just how much people have to accomodate their lives to the stroller. While with the sling or carrier, I can just live normally!
KnittingShaker's Avatar KnittingShaker 05:18 PM 11-19-2006
I've only had positive comments as well, particularly from older women.
mollyeilis's Avatar mollyeilis 05:30 PM 11-19-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by skueppers View Post
This is such a good point. I never have to look for an elevator, try to find space for my stroller in the subway or on the bus, worry about the terrain, etc.
Thanks.

You made me think about the ZOO. We have such a different experience of the zoo when we use the stroller rather than the Ergo. In the Ergo there's no up and down to see the animals. He is almost as high up as I am, so he can see whatever I can see. I can go up and down stairs.

But in the stroller, I have to find the elevator to go downstairs to see the walruses and beluga whale, then back into the elevator to get out of there. I have to take LONG ways around. I have to either abandon the thing for the inside aquarium to see the seahorses, or have to go all the way around the building just to go upstairs...it's crazy, how UNeasy the stroller makes the zoo.



And last summer I realized an unexpected benefit of the Ergo (with DS on my back). We were both sweating, and so I was making sure we both drank lots of water. I handed the water back to DS, and he spilled it down my back. Shocking at first! And then I realized how lovely it was, to have ice cold water down my back on such a hot, hot day...
shelbean91's Avatar shelbean91 05:52 PM 11-19-2006
I just say it makes my life easier and they like it.
CalebsMama05's Avatar CalebsMama05 06:35 PM 11-19-2006
ds2 loves the sling and will cry for it...people say that he's manipulative or whatever but honestly I love it. and I just say it is more comfy and makes life easier. I hate strollers.

about cosleeping I just say that if i didn't cosleep ds2 wouldn't ever get a chance to eat and i'd never get any sleep.
annettemarie's Avatar annettemarie 07:35 PM 11-19-2006
Moved to Babywearing.
GypsyGrin's Avatar GypsyGrin 02:00 PM 11-20-2006
I've had good & bad. I have a friend that seems to find it a point of pride that she can keep her babies as far away from her as possible from birth on. Nevermind that (for example) the youngest one apparantly suffers from rage syndrom. They are "successful" in moving her from high chair to stroller to play room to private bedroom, and it seems they're quite smug about it when they see me with my little one in the sling. We'll see. Her older children are going through a pretty bratty phase right now; I'll be interested to see how it all works out as the children grow. For now all I know is I'm happy and my baby's happy, and when it comes right down to it - ain't that what it's all about?

OTOH, I also get lots of comments out of public of "I've never seen one like that" and how handy it must be when I'm doing things like (for example) going through a buffet line or navigating through a crowd. I'm very active in dog sports & I used to hate it when people would bring their children in a stroller - they're right down there at dog level - with mom standing behind the stroller - and even though these are trained dogs, it doesn't mean they're necessarily child friendly and it can happen so very, very fast. I feel she's a ton safer on me, even though I'm anxoius to get her in a back hold - that way if a dog jumps on me it can't touch her.

I hate it when she's snoozing in her car seat and I have to lug that big thing into stores. It's heavy and clumsy. I'd much rather have her in the sling!!!!!
ChristyMarie's Avatar ChristyMarie 02:46 PM 11-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollyeilis View Post
I can't imagine how people think strollers are convenience items,
I dunno...it works great to carry the diaper bag and any shopping bags.

Actually my little guy LOVES sleeping in the stroller. Loves it - so sometimes we do walking naptime. But awake time? Nope.
_betsy_'s Avatar _betsy_ 02:53 PM 11-20-2006
I'm new to babywearing, as our first is only 9 weeks old. I've never seen or even heard of anyone wearing their baby IRL.

I wear my DD when running errands, and have only had good comments so far - "She looks so comfy in there!" being the most common. I was walking up and down the aisles of a CVS the other day and a woman passed me in one direction and exclaimed "Smart!" - then I saw her coming from the other direction with her mother in tow in the next aisle and they asked where I got it, how it worked, etc. I'd like to think I turned someone on to babywearing already!
mcjessica's Avatar mcjessica 05:44 PM 11-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelbean91 View Post
I just say it makes my life easier and they like it.
: That is totally what I'd like to matter-of-factly say to those who are weirded out by babywearing. Instead I find myself awkwardly defending it. Ah, well.
samantha546's Avatar samantha546 07:05 PM 11-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by aisraeltax View Post
my friends believe i hold my baby too much but he is the best baby i have ever been around (didnt know about them before finding mdc).

worn babies are happy,healthy and very well adjusted!
I totally agree! My mom had said that picking up my daughter and holding her all the time was going to spoil her but she's since changed her mind since she's seen how happy and confident my daughter is I definitely see a difference between dd and other kids in my moms' groups.

I usually reply with how great it is to cuddle with my daughter when I know this time will pass too soon. People generally nod their heads at that-- unless they're old diddies and then I just don't care what they think
MonP'titBoudain's Avatar MonP'titBoudain 03:32 AM 11-21-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by BetsyS View Post
I was shopping in the international market Friday, and I had 3 different women come up to tell me how much the sling reminded me of "my home country." One was Haitian, one Romanian, and one Korean. Pretty cool.
I get this a lot too! My Nigerian neighbor saw me with ds on my back and said I looked "very motherly!" Made my day. And one women in costco asked me to remind her of how to use the rebozo (she had 2 preschoolers and a baby) 'cause she'd been in the states so long she forgot that women even did this.

I have had a few rude comments and mostly I feel like it's none of their business so I reply simply and firmly that it works for us and walk away. With family, I have given my philosophies in more detail (why this works and how it works, etc) but again, simply and firmly because this is my child and DH & I are accountable for who he becomes. Not his grandparents or his aunts or uncles.
FreeThinkinMama's Avatar FreeThinkinMama 04:50 AM 11-21-2006
The only negative comment I've got was "she's not suffocating in that thing is she?" from a greeter at walmart of all places. I just said no and kept walking.

Some people were curious, probably because very few people I've seen around this town wear their babies, most use strollers. I've been asked if it was comfortable and I said yes, she usually fell asleep or calmed right down when I put her in it. That to babies it feels like being in the womb with all the rocking motion when we walk, heartbeat & warmth. I explained how I loved having my hands free to do housework or shopping

I'm not really trying to convert anyone to baby wearing though. I don't think strollers are bad and I figure if you start off telling someone "strollers bad, slings good" all they're going to hear is that you think they're doing something wrong instead of hearing about how great baby wearing can be.
RainbowsMum's Avatar RainbowsMum 08:07 AM 11-21-2006
Wow, so many of you have had positive comments!! I've tried saying many of the things you have all pointed out. But somehow they always come back with something negative. Like when I say "It makes her happier" they say shes manipulating me. If I say "It makes me happier too" they then say I'm obsessed with her - I mean I can't win!! I think the next elderly person who says the line "You're making a rod for your own back" I think I may actually explode. A lot of the time I don't even put buby in a sling - She reall doesn't seem to like it But every now and then I try, but most of the time I just carry her round. Slightly inconvenient but still makes her happier, and in turn makes me happier. And with co-sleeping. That makes us both a lot happier!
GypsyGrin's Avatar GypsyGrin 12:45 PM 11-21-2006
Quote:
But somehow they always come back with something negative.
Huh, well if they're convinced they're right - good for them. *insert rolling eyes here* It's your baby's opinion that counts the most though!

I think everyone wants so much to do the best thing for their kids that they are very resistant to any idea that is different than theirs. If everyone were doing the same thing they could be assured they are right. IMHO, when they start seeing other ways of doing things it's like a walking question to their own value system.
medaroge's Avatar medaroge 07:16 PM 11-21-2006
I just tell people "This is the way we have chosen to raise our children". I will give them info if they seem intrested, but many are not intrested in learning, they just know how they did it and that is the correct way and there is no changing thier minds anyhow, so I dont worry myself over it.

The funniest one, though, when my nephew was 1 month, my SIL's grandmother told her that he wasnt getting enough exercise because she wore him in a Hotslings all the time.

I want to know how a 1 month old exercises!
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