Took a walk on the Stroller Side... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 65 Old 11-30-2006, 02:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So we just bought a stroller for occasional use...mostly, DH wanted one, plus his mom sometimes babysits and can't/won't wear DS. Anyway, I live a short walk from our little town and thought I'd try taking DS for a walk with the stroller today instead of the Moby or Ergo I usually use. He's 6 months old now and loves new experiences, so I figured hey, maybe he'll enjoy the change of pace.

Man...I was surprised how strongly I disliked the experience! The whole walk took maybe an hour and a half, with some window shopping etc. I didn't feel at all like I was spending time with my son...I felt completely disconnected from him, and hated it. When I wear him, I'm constantly nuzzling him and talking to him, telling him about what we're seeing as we walk along. With the stroller, I found myself trying to push it next to me with one hand so I could at least *see* DS. He didn't seem unhappy, but he didn't seem happy either...he was kind of zoned out in a listless daze. And at one point, a lady in a store stopped me to tell me that DS's hat was pulled down over his eyes. Great...I have to rely on strangers to make sure DS is OK!

We snuggled a lot when we got home. Never again! And I'm so glad I stumbled into babywearing, despite the fact that no one I know IRL does it. It's really fostered such a nice connection between me and my son, and til now I didn't fully realize how much babywearing has meant to us. Now I just have to figure out how to tolerate the idea of MIL pushing DS around in that damn isolation pod. Seriously, I never really understood how adamant babywearers seem to be against strollers, but you can add me to the, uh, anti-strollerist movement now too.

Anyone else tried strollering and felt the same way?

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#2 of 65 Old 11-30-2006, 03:05 AM
 
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For me its funny, when she's in her wrap she likes to face outward, and although I get to hold her hands and kiss her head, I don't get to see her face. My stroller has a reversible handle on it, so right now she faces me, so I can see her and we makes faces and talk about what's going on around her and I get to watch her. So for me, its hard, I really like both methods for different reasons, but in your situation I can see what you mean. I would hate my stroller if I couldn;t see her. (I've got a bumbleride flyer)
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#3 of 65 Old 11-30-2006, 03:25 AM
 
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We took our one and ONLY stroller ride when dd was 2 months old. We went to the mall to get something for someone (can't recall) and my first sling hadn't come in the mail yet (from here!!) so we broke out the stroller that came with our carseat...

We went into a store, looked around, came back out and were standing asking each other if we wanted to eat something quick and cheap at the food court or use a giftcard we had been saving...I looked away for maybe a minute..my hand on the stroller..peeked in on dd and she was sleeping....A FIRST in the afternoon...But no sooner had I looked away then a 3 or 4 year old came rushing over to the side, peeked in and started pushing on DD..IN HER STROLLER.....I felt it move and took a peek and was shocked...gently removed his hand and asked him where his mommy was...

She came up from behind and yelled at me for touching her son...I was flabergasted...she was too busy chatting with her friend to watch her son in a busy mall??? I explained what happened, my dh explained and someone else nearby came up and said that they witnessed it...No apologies from the mom, just a huffy how dare you accuse my son type glare and off she went...MANY STEPS ahead of her son....she called back to him...Are you coming???

Flabergasted again....I wanted to stalk her in the mall....but was so sick about things I took DD immediatly out of the stroller and held her the rest of the way while DH pushed it out to the car...We dropped it off at my mothers basement and there it has sat for 2.3 years....

I know that's not a normal occurance but I know it would never have happened had I been wearing her. I learned that night while up late how to tie a simple bedsheet into a makeshift sling...

I now wear the babies I care for and have lent out several of my carriers..some returned, some not..grr..LOL...

ANd I hated not being able to see her.....
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#4 of 65 Old 11-30-2006, 01:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For me its funny, when she's in her wrap she likes to face outward, and although I get to hold her hands and kiss her head, I don't get to see her face. My stroller has a reversible handle on it, so right now she faces me, so I can see her and we makes faces and talk about what's going on around her and I get to watch her. So for me, its hard, I really like both methods for different reasons, but in your situation I can see what you mean. I would hate my stroller if I couldn;t see her. (I've got a bumbleride flyer)
yeah, our old snap and go thing that we used sometimes with his infant car seat faced me, and I liked that better. Unfortunately our stroller is the umbrella type, so it has to face out.

I don't think it's a total loss...when he's bigger, I bet he'll genuinely enjoy facing out, and I might be ready for it too. And meanwhile, a few stroller sessions with MIL and DH isn't going to kill him. DH will wear him, but he's less into it now that DS is bigger. I swear, men are supposed to be the stronger gender, but I think women have more stamina and endurance.

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#5 of 65 Old 11-30-2006, 01:32 PM
 
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I loved wearing my babies when they were little, too. And carrying them in the backpack when they got older (especially while cooking). I really miss it!

But this whole "strollers are the devil" vibe really turns me off. Try going out and about on foot with a 20lb toddler and coming back with a stack of library books and three bags of groceries - not to mention the 4yo - and let me tell you, that stroller is what enables you to do it all without getting in the car.

It's all about how you use it. Yes, there's usually no need to put a tiny baby in a stroller. But there is no need for an "anti-strollerist movement" in my opinion. Strollers are great for the environment, older kids like riding in them, and they enable mama to get excercise and do errands on foot. And to sit in the park with her book when the kid riding in one falls asleep.

Isolation pods?? Enough of the self-righteousness, if you please.
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#6 of 65 Old 11-30-2006, 01:36 PM
 
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I loved wearing my babies when they were little, too. And carrying them in the backpack when they got older (especially while cooking). I really miss it!

But this whole "strollers are the devil" vibe really turns me off. Try going out and about on foot with a 20lb toddler and coming back with a stack of library books and three bags of groceries - not to mention the 4yo - and let me tell you, that stroller is what enables you to do it all without getting in the car.

It's all about how you use it. Yes, there's usually no need to put a tiny baby in a stroller. But there is no need for an "anti-strollerist movement" in my opinion. Strollers are great for the environment, older kids like riding in them, and they enable mama to get excercise and do errands on foot. And to sit in the park with her book when the kid riding in one falls asleep.

Isolation pods?? Enough of the self-righteousness, if you please.
:
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#7 of 65 Old 11-30-2006, 01:49 PM
 
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I loved wearing my babies when they were little, too. And carrying them in the backpack when they got older (especially while cooking). I really miss it!

But this whole "strollers are the devil" vibe really turns me off. Try going out and about on foot with a 20lb toddler and coming back with a stack of library books and three bags of groceries - not to mention the 4yo - and let me tell you, that stroller is what enables you to do it all without getting in the car.

It's all about how you use it. Yes, there's usually no need to put a tiny baby in a stroller. But there is no need for an "anti-strollerist movement" in my opinion. Strollers are great for the environment, older kids like riding in them, and they enable mama to get excercise and do errands on foot. And to sit in the park with her book when the kid riding in one falls asleep.

Isolation pods?? Enough of the self-righteousness, if you please.
yep! I agree! I have a 19lber who is often wraped on my back (soon to ride in an ergo, patapum or sutemi depending on what i am luckey enough to get for xmat lol) and a 4 year old who walks and a huge bag or dipes and another of regular cloths laundry piled in the stroller. I use that stroller a lot.. as a wheel barrow, and ther are times I use it for my daughter too, when she is uncoopertive getting in the wrap, I stick her in and throw the wrap underneth for later. (for safety)

I always hate it though when I am having bad back days sometimes and have to push a stroller way. I always end up feeling guilty too when I use it. but it certainly comes in handy! She is big now and I like to have the option to push her too sometimes.

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#8 of 65 Old 12-01-2006, 11:21 AM
 
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I'm an adamant baby wearer, but I'm not against strollers. Well, maybe if people relied on them instead of babywearing, like 98% of people in the western world do, but I have to admit.. it does come in handy. I don't feel guilty, and I don't feel disconnected. It's a welcome respite from carrying chunkarella with a bulging disk. She also goes into a zone out kind of state.. which happens shortly before she passes out.

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#9 of 65 Old 12-01-2006, 11:53 AM
 
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I loved wearing my babies when they were little, too. And carrying them in the backpack when they got older (especially while cooking). I really miss it!

But this whole "strollers are the devil" vibe really turns me off. Try going out and about on foot with a 20lb toddler and coming back with a stack of library books and three bags of groceries - not to mention the 4yo - and let me tell you, that stroller is what enables you to do it all without getting in the car.

It's all about how you use it. Yes, there's usually no need to put a tiny baby in a stroller. But there is no need for an "anti-strollerist movement" in my opinion. Strollers are great for the environment, older kids like riding in them, and they enable mama to get excercise and do errands on foot. And to sit in the park with her book when the kid riding in one falls asleep.

Isolation pods?? Enough of the self-righteousness, if you please.


Word. If you don't like strollers, you don't have to use them! I have three different isolation pods, myself, and I love all of them. I babywear when we're out as a family and my H can wear one too, but otherwise, the stroller is what makes my life possible.
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#10 of 65 Old 12-01-2006, 12:38 PM
 
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I think ya'll are being a little harsh on the poor woman. She was just trying to make a joke. If you know you are doing the right thing for your situation, then there's no need to be so defensive. She was just sharing how using a stroller made her feel and everyone is jumping all over her. And is this not the babywearing forum? Getting all defensive about your stroller use on the babywearing board is a teensy bit like going to the lactivist forum and posting about being offended because breastfeeding did not work for you.
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#11 of 65 Old 12-01-2006, 12:39 PM
 
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I had the same experience.

try taking it in a store, it take up all your trunk space so you can't actually buy anything to take home, you don't actually fit in any stores, even the kid stores, and your child is at the exact height to pull everything down.

never again. and I won't even dare try it on a bus. sling on a bus no problem, even sling on a packed bus with diaper knapsack and groceries no problem. but how you manage a stroller on a bus I have no idea.
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#12 of 65 Old 12-01-2006, 12:54 PM
 
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but how you manage a stroller on a bus I have no idea.
Fold it up and bump into people a lot, at least that seems to be the standard way to do things around here.

I think places like libraries should have "stroller parking" inside the building. Nothing more annoying than a stroller blocking the books I'm trying to get to with the parent standing there looking offended if I say "excuse me".
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#13 of 65 Old 12-01-2006, 12:58 PM
 
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We always took an umbroller on the bus. No big thing.

Anyway, I also disliked the stroller when my babies were little. After about age 1 or when I wanted to try on clothes or something, they offered a nice respite/alternative.
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#14 of 65 Old 12-01-2006, 01:14 PM
 
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I personally don't like stollers for babies, I didn't use one with dd1 until she was 2.5 years old. I sure used one after that. I like to walk to the park, library, etc... and it's the only way to carry everything, plus a preschooler who gets tired after walking 5 blocks or so, but I can't imagine putting 5 week old dd2 in one. I've been pushing dd1 in a stroller and wearing dd2.

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#15 of 65 Old 12-03-2006, 01:05 AM
 
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My mom bought me a stroller because my DS and I walk to work every day. I thought he'd hate it, but he loved looking around and cooing a everyone. I didn't like it at first, but I'm use to it now. I can't carry all that I need for work and carry him, but I carry him everywhere else.
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#16 of 65 Old 12-03-2006, 02:07 PM
 
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My mom bought me a stroller because my DS and I walk to work every day. I thought he'd hate it, but he loved looking around and cooing a everyone. I didn't like it at first, but I'm use to it now. I can't carry all that I need for work and carry him, but I carry him everywhere else.
I put my stuff in the stroller and carry babe (he won't have it any other way!). :
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#17 of 65 Old 12-03-2006, 02:20 PM
 
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Personally I hate the way many women use strollers. They are the armored vehicles in the mommy wars. Several times over the summer when we were in crowded, touristy spots, and now in malls, women with strollers would order me out of their way.

You all know that passive-agressive, smiling-sweet "excuse me"--as she jams the stroller into your leg. And that demanding expectation that we all get out of her way--she's got THE STROLLER.

I thought that that sort of asualt would end once I had DD. If anything is more vicious now that I'm wearing a baby. It truly is about being in possession of THE STROLLER and has nothing to do with the baby. Somehow the stroller symbolizes their entitlement. Weird.

And no, I have no problem making way for a women with kids, with a stroller, whatever. But seriously, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced thr stroller-shove, the disdainful and impatient looks, and the petulant demandness of the whole encounter.
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#18 of 65 Old 12-03-2006, 02:31 PM
 
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I agree with the OP completely. And this IS the babywearing board so simmer down.
My ds is 2.5 years old and 30 pounds now and we still have never used a stroller. He walks or Ergo. Period.
I too love the closeness and I can totally identify with the OP. Good for you mama, glad you found a niche.

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#19 of 65 Old 12-03-2006, 09:10 PM
 
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I was barely even aware of the existence of parenting forums when I was pregnant, so I never even really heard of babywearing until my son was almost 2 months old. I bought a sling just before he turned 2 months, and he was a few ounces shy of 16 lbs already!!

Before that, I had used a snugli-type carrier, but I found it too hot, too hard on my back, and too hard to really see his face. So, I mostly used the stroller. At that point, though, because he was in the infant seat, he was facing me, and I could really interact with him while we were walking. I hardly EVER looked up! lol

Once I had my sling, we tried it out a number of times at home. I could get him to sleep in it, but that was it (and his naps were usually 15-20 minutes). If he was awake, he wanted nothing to do with it.

He didn't like the kangaroo hold, either, but he DOES like the hip carry. I've been using that with him since he was about 5 months old...but he was already 22 lbs by then, so I've never been able to carry him for very long....

I definitely hate that he has to face away all the time while in the stroller now...next time, I will definitely try to get one with a reversible handle.

I also plan to use a sling from DAY ONE next time, so that my back can gradually get used to the weight for longer periods. AND, I want to get a wrap and maybe an Ergo, too! They look AWESOME for carrying!!

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#20 of 65 Old 12-03-2006, 11:51 PM
 
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I like my stroller at times when I need to be able to carry stuff in the basket of it but other than that I love baby wearing although I do need the stroller sometimes because of a bad back but yes I feel like she is so far away and lonley in her stroller.

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#21 of 65 Old 12-04-2006, 12:47 AM
 
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I'm not anti-stroller--I realize there are good and practical uses for it, and I'm sure I'll use one a lot more once I have a second child. However, I really am not finding it useful at all with just one baby. One thing I notice about it is you quickly get an idea of what one aspect of life is like for a person in a wheelchair. Time after time you find yourself having to maneuver stairs, tight squeezes, awkwardness of one kind or another. My ds is still little so I can see him in the stroller as he is in the car seat/travel system thing. But he won't stay in the bucket for very long anyway--starts crying after 15 minutes or so unless he falls asleep. He might like it better once he can sit up and look out, but I doubt I'll use it much then, either. I think I'll also feel I'm not really "with" him that much. I love the closeness of wearing my baby but also the FREEDOM. Yesterday on our long walk, we went downtown and wanted to watch the people at the outdoor skating rink and to get there we had to go down a couple dozen stairs. Can't do that with a stroller. We would have had to go all the way around a big detour, and probably wouldn't have bothered. No spontaneity. Plus we did a little Christmas shopping in some small shops with tight layouts. No problem.
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#22 of 65 Old 12-04-2006, 12:55 AM
 
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the disconnection bugged me enough to spend a small fortune for a stroller where baby faces me!

And sometimes I need it, I can only wear one kiddo at a time! and it doubles as a cart for the diaper bag and whatever we've bought, so a hand is free for handholding

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#23 of 65 Old 12-04-2006, 01:10 AM
 
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Oh yeah...can't beat all that carrying space! lol

I never go anywhere (except short trips) without the diaper bag (I learned THAT lesson the hard way! lol) so the stroller is essential for holding that.

Plus, now that winter is here, I put our coats, hats, mitts, etc. in the stroller with the diaper bag, and then I can fill it up with our shopping, too!

Thank goodness for slings! When he gets tired, I put him in it, and push the stroller around with all our "junk" in it! lol I think our coats spend more time in it than he does....but I definitely couldn't live without it!

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#24 of 65 Old 12-04-2006, 03:21 PM
 
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Yeah, I remember all the shared anxiety among the neighborhood Mamas about what stroller to get when we had babies... And now after BTDT I don't think a first-time Mom even needs to think about that. Wraps/carriers/slings first.

Even now with my toddler it IS so nice being out on the town without a stroller. I stick a diaper and snacks in my purse and GO!
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#25 of 65 Old 12-04-2006, 04:55 PM
 
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I use my stroller on ocasion, but I think the moderation is key. With just dd its usually easier and better to wear her. From what I have seen the perfect stroller for me would be those little shopping carts that are about half the size of the regular ones. I would probably want one if they folded up small enough. I could fit tons of stuff in it!

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#26 of 65 Old 12-05-2006, 12:43 AM
 
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please delete, thank you
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#27 of 65 Old 12-05-2006, 02:49 PM
 
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We may get a stroller at some point, but for now, we haven't found a need. At this point, it just seems like a lot of work to get the car seat out of the car and get it all set up with the stroller. Simpler just to pop baby out and put him in a pre-tied fcc. When DS is a little older and we can use an umbrella stroller, we'll probably get one to use in the summer when it just gets so hot and muggy and I probably won't want a hot, sweaty, heavy lump attached to me. A hot and sweaty lump provides some nice body heat in the fall and winter, but when it's in the 90s and humidity is high (and it gets VERY muggy on the east coast), a hot and sweaty lump might not be that desirable. We'll see when the time comes.

Of course, DH is very opposed to the idea of pushing ANYTHING. Even at the grocery store, he'd rather carry two hand baskets than push a grocery cart. He may nix the whole stroller idea. . .which means new summer carriers for mama . I love getting new carriers. . .
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#28 of 65 Old 12-05-2006, 03:43 PM
 
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the only way I can wear dd for lond walks now is on my back in the ergo, and I can't see her or talk to her.....

mama to dd (4-15-06) and
ds (2-23-09)
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#29 of 65 Old 12-05-2006, 07:08 PM
 
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i agree with you OP.
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#30 of 65 Old 12-05-2006, 07:21 PM
 
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My baby was like that at that age (kinda zoned out, not liking or disliking it) so we just did not use the stroller much. I found that around 9 mos he actually enjoyed the stroller. Quite a bit, actually. We only use it at the mall and at the track so he's not in it a ton, but he is very happy to be in it, especially at the track. I guess because it's a change for him and a new way to experience things.
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