Babywearing husbands... really?! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-11-2006, 01:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
Incubator's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Palm Beach, Florida and Texas
Posts: 867
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Anyone have any tips on how I might convince my husband that it is OK for him to use a wrap or carrier for our son? Let me explain.

We don't like leaving DS in the bucket when we shop, one of us has always held him, or we took turns. Now he's old enough to ride in the cart, but after awhile, he wants to be held, which is fine.

I take in the wrap when we go shopping so that I can use it when it's my turn. First off: my husband feels bad about me carrying the baby because Evan is a hefty boy, and I dunno I guess Brian feels the need to carry him for me. Brian complains about how Evan makes his back hurt after awhile but when I suggest handing him to me so I can tie him to me, Brian seems reluctant. I'd like to suggest it, but haven't figured out how, that Brian should try the wrap, it really relieves the back and arm strain, and Evan usually falls asleep in it.

What can I do to get him to try? and how do men really feel about wearing baby. OK, not AP men, Brian is very mainstream, but usually cooperative...

X posted to "Dads"
Incubator is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-11-2006, 01:42 AM
 
mamums's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 150
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH loves the freedom of movement + the closeness to DS of babywearing. He hates being restricted or slowed down in any way. Case in point: at the grocery store, he would rather carry two baskets than push around a grocery cart. He does not have the patience to be lugging around a stroller or bucket anywhere. As long as I get carriers in neutral colors, he's game. So I think personality has a bit to do with it.
But you say DH is cooperative, so you might find this article about babywearing dads to be quite convincing. It definitely was an eye-opener for DH when we were pregnant.
mamums is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 01:57 AM
 
saraann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 470
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my dh wouldn't use a sling or a wrap but would use the baby bjorn. i think it's just more mainstream and not as "girly" looking. Silly yes, but he did use it a ton, and i see a lot of men using the bjorn. i actually see more men using the bjorn then i see women using any type of carrier other then a stroller.
i'm conviced that there will be a male babywering phenonomen, they just don't know it.
saraann is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 02:09 AM
 
mothragirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: neverland
Posts: 3,254
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my boyfriend is all about the ergo, it is "masculine" (his words) and slings are "feminine" (his words again).
mothragirl is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 02:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
Incubator's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Palm Beach, Florida and Texas
Posts: 867
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wonderful! Brian would never admit it, but I know he's been feeling left out a bit... He was relieved when he found his own way to put the baby to sleep. He practically begged me to let him put DS to sleep every night because he was just happy he could do something. Thank you. Does anyone else have any suggestions?
Incubator is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 02:35 AM
 
shelbean91's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Mesa, AZ
Posts: 9,290
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree w/the bjorn. I hated it, but dh loved it. We had a snugli first, that he liked (but the dogs chewed) so we replaced it w/a bjorn. Dh liked them both.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
shelbean91 is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 04:08 AM
 
**guest**'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: surrounded by water
Posts: 1,452
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
dh loves babywearing. he has his own fleece pouch in 'manly' colors; he uses moby like a pro ; he has used my very colourful girasol as well.

what about an ergo? this is a great structured carrier for heavier babies and toddlers, and is very 'manly'.

i asked dh how to convince a guy to wear a baby, and he says to tell him that 'real man wear their babies'
**guest** is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 04:13 AM
 
rzberrymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,702
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wouldn't get the Bjorn--it's going to quickly hurt his back, and he'll be less likely to want to babywear. But the Ergo is nearly as mainstream looking without the strain on you. There's also the Patapum, and there are "manly" versions of the Beco (black one, brown one, camoflauge), Yamo and Babyhawk.
rzberrymom is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 04:16 AM
 
NewCrunchyDaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Burrow
Posts: 2,629
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We've got a Sutemi Pack that both of us use and I love more than a sling because I never felt really secure with the sling. I always had to have one hand on DS because I was afraid he was going to pop out. But with the Sutemi ... marvelous ... you can put DC on your back, in front or on your hip. Plus the website has lots of pictures of men wearing it which might go a long way to convincing your DH it is "manly."

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

NewCrunchyDaddy is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 04:17 PM
 
an_aurora's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Palmer, AK
Posts: 6,401
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH wasn't too keen on slings, but would use them when we were out when she was younger. Now, he LOVES the wrap and wears her every day. They go out for a morning walk every day, and he puts her in the wrap. Also, when we're out at the store he wears her. He never could get the front or hip carries down, but he's the rucksack master

CPST & mom

an_aurora is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 04:47 PM
 
mimie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Oregon
Posts: 635
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Mh DH loves our KKAFP. He also uses the Baby Bjorn Active (as do I - the extra lumbar support really helps). He almost always carries her when we're out together.

He likes simple, easy to use carriers. He does not like the Mei Tai or Moby wrap or the ring sling we have. I think they are too fussy to put and get adjusted - he doesn't have the patience to learn how to do it.

...the cuties in my avatar are my wonderful, c-section born, fully vaccinated sweethearts...
mimie is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 05:06 PM
 
nonconformnmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: in the wilderness
Posts: 5,160
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh uses our Maya wrap. It's in a native-style print, so not necessarily "manly" but not feminine either. He gets many comments while wearing our baby(ies). He enjoys it, too. He even wears our dd around the house.
nonconformnmom is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 05:08 PM
 
runes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,933
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
dh refuses to use any of my ring slings, even the 'manly' dark blue striped maya that i bought with him in mind.

he loves wearing dd in our meitai. i had the foresight to get a reversible one in black (its from meitaibaby). it has a beautiful panel with embroidered flowers for me :, and reverses to plain black for dh. he was skeptical at first but now we argue over who gets to wear dd in it.

ergos are cool, too. we don't have one but i've been thinking about getting one, and i'll bet that dh would love it.

there is nothing sexier than a babywearing daddy. whenever i see one (which is quite rare here in conservativemainstreamville), it gives me the warm fuzzies.
runes is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 05:11 PM
 
Earthen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 63
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We both use the Moby. The comfort is worth the fuss.
Earthen is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 05:34 PM
 
TypingMJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Eastern Seaboard
Posts: 1,491
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My husband loves wearing our little guy. When our son was a newborn, he used an Infantino sling, which was super easy to use and very inexpensive. Now that our son is bigger, he uses the baby bjorn when we're out and about and occasionally uses my Babyhawk mei-tai. It's got a unisex purple print on it, doesn't look "girly" at all.
TypingMJ is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 05:57 PM
 
GypsyGrin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 96
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DH is also mainstream, very much the manly-man outdoorsman type. Here's been my tactics to convince him:

1. show him as many picture I can find of men babywearing under the guise of "getting his opinion on the wrap". Comment casually on how good looking the men are in these pics. :P

2. silently demonstrate how one can get a ton done around the house while babywearing.

3. have carriers in very manly-man prints at his disposal to try when you're not around, and don't ever ask him about them. Just let them be his idea.

4. when he does try one, be sure to comment on how much the baby likes it

DH started out with a maya ring sling that worked until DD decided she didn't want her legs confined & she didn't want to lay down. Then one day when I wasn't home he tried out my moby & informed me it was too small, so I made him a homemade wrap in camouflage, which he's worn constantly for the last 4 weeks or so. Today the DH really wanted to clean the fish he caught yesterday. When I called home he said he needed a longer mei tai because he had to bungee the straps on the Eden in place. (hee hee - he's really resisted using a mei tai up 'til now.) So I just ordered him his own babyhawk in full camo.
GypsyGrin is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 06:00 PM
 
marlee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh finds the thought of pushing our dd in a buggy ummm embarassing. He loved to use the front snugli and when we got the baby Trekker it was hands down his favorite. It is made to fit anyone anysize the baby can face in or out. Dh can not multi task. So holding our dd and doing anything else doesn't happen but if she is in the baby Trekker he can. We also like to walk to trails so this was perfect. If we are both out together dh always carries dd. I also liked the baby Trekker but mainly used the sling for short errands.

P.S.
We live in a very mainstream area.

Mama to two beautiful children. 

marlee is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 06:45 PM
 
mamums's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 150
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kidspiration View Post
there is nothing sexier than a babywearing daddy. whenever i see one (which is quite rare here in conservativemainstreamville), it gives me the warm fuzzies.
Ditto!
mamums is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 06:46 PM
 
mamums's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 150
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by GypsyGrin View Post
Today the DH really wanted to clean the fish he caught yesterday. When I called home he said he needed a longer mei tai because he had to bungee the straps on the Eden in place. (hee hee - he's really resisted using a mei tai up 'til now.) So I just ordered him his own babyhawk in full camo.
That's so very cool (and ruggedly manly ) of DH!
mamums is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 07:08 PM
 
alexsam's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,191
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I second the Moby or the Ultimate Baby Wrap. They are not slings and they are very comfortable. My husband (and father!) both wore DS in the Ultimate Baby Wrap...

I also think that if DS is old enough, you can find a "middle ground" with a baby back-pack. It is not as comfy as a sling/wrap, nor as close and intimate, but I think it is better (and easier) than a stroller. They range from very rugged and sporty (Kelty makes some that are this way) to very streamlined and urban. He certainly wouldn't feel that his "masculinity was in question" with one of these. Again, not the most comfy option, but it might be something to get the ball rolling.
alexsam is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 07:11 PM
 
Thalia the Muse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,771
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
After I returned to work DH was home with the baby three days a week -- he LOVED the bjorn. We lived on a stair street, and he'd carry her up to the top and take her for long walks, looking at the moon and just exploring.

Even with the five flights of stairs he had to climb, he used it until she was more than a year old and never complained of backache.
Thalia the Muse is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 07:13 PM
 
alexsam's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,191
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
And just as a cute "DH babywearing story", DH's hospital (he's a horse veterinarian) had an open house. His boss, clients, lots of outdoorsey tough guys along with moneybags racehorse owners were there. We went in "nice clothes"- DH in a suit, me in a dress. DH wore DS in an Ultimate Baby Wrap the whole time! Over his suit! He actually refused to put him down! So, he chatted it up with everyone wearing a tie and a 3 month old baby asleep in a big 'ol wrap. How cute is that?!? The Old Boys Clubbers were a little surprised, but he scored big points with all the ladies .
alexsam is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 08:52 PM
 
art4babies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,231
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Incubator View Post
Anyone have any tips on how I might convince my husband that it is OK for him to use a wrap or carrier for our son? Let me explain.
Tell him that women think it is totally sexy.
art4babies is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 09:12 PM
 
prettypixels's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 2,622
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My husband wants me to get him a sling like the one I bought for myself for Christmas. He is so cute. Have you seen this one???

http://www.hotslings.com/s.nl/it.A/id.168/.f

This is the one I wanted to get him, but they are ALL OUT!

Anyways I wouldn't say it's not manly at all. What is more manly than loving the result of all that testosterone? :
prettypixels is offline  
Old 12-12-2006, 02:05 PM
 
bethwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
http://www.attachedtobaby.com/photos.../original.aspx

This is my dh in a mei tai. He will wear most any fabric, but if it's too "girly" just switches to the plain side.
bethwl is offline  
Old 12-12-2006, 10:48 PM
 
dotnetdiva's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Colorado Rockies above Boulder
Posts: 815
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DH will use any kind of woven wrap or Mei Tai. Yes, even if the Mei Tai is silk brocade flowers, lol! Anything that will do the job and be secure and comfy. His favorites would be his easycare and didys I suppose.

Here's a few of him in different types.
http://www.attachedtobaby.com/photos...cture2022.aspx
http://www.attachedtobaby.com/photos...cture3602.aspx
http://www.attachedtobaby.com/photos...cture4307.aspx

- Angela
mama homeschooling Satori, dd6 in the beautiful CO Rockies
dotnetdiva is offline  
Old 12-12-2006, 10:51 PM
 
GooeyRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,951
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh uses either a dark green snuggly or a homemade camoflauge mei tai.
GooeyRN is offline  
Old 12-12-2006, 11:19 PM
 
Thalia the Muse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,771
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ya know, reviewing the photos people are posting -- I just want to reiterate that men look really sexy wearing a baby!
Thalia the Muse is offline  
Old 12-13-2006, 01:18 AM
 
anarchamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,016
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh has always worn the baby, but last year for fathers day I got him a babyhawk meitai with the tatto print fabric and now he loves it een more. I think itmakes him feel all bad-ass like!
anarchamama is offline  
Old 12-13-2006, 01:31 AM
 
linguistmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Happy Valley
Posts: 1,123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH won't use carriers that he thinks are "girly" in public, like the ring sling and wrap. But he really likes his active bjorn. I really don't like it, but it works for him as well as the kelty backpack. I showed him the Kozy I ordered though and his first comment was "that's cool, I'd wear it." So hopefully that will work for both of us. It took dh awhile to get used to the whole idea and now if it is manly or sporty he will wear dd in it.

:::
linguistmama is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off