Need babywearing advice/options - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 12-19-2006, 11:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So, my ds is approaching 30 lbs at 9 months, and not mobile yet really. He is very attached and I have to wear him a lot. I am starting to be in some major pain, and my sciatica started up again yesterday so painfully that I keep yelping and dh runs in concerned. We had a front criss-cross sling that was a little too stretchy and he slid down too much, so that's out. The bjorn, well, you all know the problems with that, but I did like the criss-cross design for my narrow shoulders. Maya Wrap ring sling, love it, beautiful and easy, but it is hard on my shoulder and back at his weight. Evenflo Vibra on the back, great in a lot of ways but the straps seem to slide off my shoulders some, and the belt sits on the waist, not hips, where I really need it to translate the weight. Tried an Ergo on once but he doesn't like to face in, although I didn't try it on the back. I am very slight, narrow frame. Tell me what worked for you!
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#2 of 10 Old 12-19-2006, 12:20 PM
 
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Please don't try to do outward-facing front carries! It's ok from time to time with a smaller baby, but with a bigger baby like yours it becomes even less supportive, for him and you. We use back carries when DD is alert and looking around, front facing-in when she is sleepy or when the surroundings are quiet enough that interaction from me is enough.

I would look for a very supportive German-style wrap: Didymos, Storchenwiege, Hoppediz, Girasol, BB-slen, etc., and learn to do back carries with it. Imho, Storch and Hopp are the most supportive, but the Didy's vary and mine is a waves--the least supportive Didy, so really any of the above. It's a pretty safe thing to get just to try out because thier resale value is so high. Definitely buy used too, at least for you first one, so that it will already have been "broken in" and be soft and enough to use without doing anything to it.
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#3 of 10 Old 12-19-2006, 12:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, he's definitely too heavy for an out-facing carry now, I rely on the hip carry when he's alert and a chest carry facing in when he's almost asleep, in the ring sling. I will look into the German wraps.
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#4 of 10 Old 12-19-2006, 03:58 PM
 
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I'd do a Mei Tai. My son is 30lbs and it works great for us. You can usually find good Mei Tais on Ebay. Good luck!
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#5 of 10 Old 12-20-2006, 12:23 AM
 
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I would give the ERGO or even the Sutemi Pack another try. A soft structured carrier, wrap or mei tai is going to give you the best support. Facing in still gives the babies a chance to see out. I try to discourage people from wearing their babies facing out.
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#6 of 10 Old 12-20-2006, 04:49 AM
 
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German wrap is a good option for distibuting the weight. I'd also strongly suggest you give the Ergo another try, using the back carry. I wore my 30lb 3yo for 1.5hours while hiking today, and I can't imagine using anything else. A 9mo is definitely old enough for a back carry- by the time my babies were 9 months, I used the back carry more than any other carry.

I can't even imagine using a sling with a 30lb child- it hurts to even think about it. I would think that a mei tei wouldn't work as well as the Ergo. I've tried a couple of different mei teis over the years, and with a baby that big, I always had problems with the straps digging into my shoulders after a short time. With the Ergo or a German wrap, you can spread out the weight across your hips (ergo) or back (wrap).

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#7 of 10 Old 12-20-2006, 10:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, the back carry seems to make sense. I have been carrying him on my back in the Serenade Vibra, which I know is probably not ideal, but it works okay. I would be happy to get something better for my back, but here's the next question: Can I get him in/out by myself? I carry him in the sling when he is sleepy because it is easy to load him in and then I can sneak him out once he crashes. With the back carrier, I have to do some questionable contortions to put him on, and then he always wakes up when I go to get him out.

Sarah
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#8 of 10 Old 12-20-2006, 11:25 PM
 
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Personally after ds has passed out on my back I just leave him in the ergo and do chores where I am moving. But, I have a friend whose partner wears their babe to sleep on his back in the ergo then sits down on the couch and takes the ergo off. This leaves their ds kind of propped up sleeping... and he stays that way! I haven't figured it out, but then my ds almost never sleeps in the carrier anymore. And getting your baby on your back just takes a little practice til you can do it easily on your own. With the ergo I used to kind of slide ds onto my back, but his longer toddler body makes that hard now so I usually toss him over my shoulder holding under his armpit now. Sounds crazy but a friend from West Africa showed me this and it is sooo easy!

as far as what/how to carry your ds, definitely a woven wrap or ergo. I like a mei tei with really wide straps but not for any kind of extended wearing... and my ds isn't that heavy yet so it may not even be worth the purchase for you. I also have sciatica and had to give up the sling and front carries pretty early on. I can't believe you can still lug your kiddo around on your front! It pulled my back really uncomfortably (but I'm a little sway backed so maybe that's the real problem!).

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#9 of 10 Old 12-21-2006, 10:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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He's really on my hip, but yeah, sciatica is coming back, left arm gets tingly. I had him on my back this morning when dh left and I almost cried at the thought of facing the pain all day. My shoulders are just so narrow, even the backpack hurts. Maybe I should revisit the Ergo.
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#10 of 10 Old 12-23-2006, 11:41 AM
 
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Ergo! German woven wrap! On your back! Seriously, though: such a big baby has to be on your back for any length of time (hip ok for quick errands, etc.). Check out mamatoto.org for some videos of how to get baby on your back. If you do it with confidence and practice, it is so easy that it doesn't require a second thought. You can practice kneeling on a bed or blanket, if it helps you feel more secure. Using a mirror helps a lot too. It's one of the most important parenting skills one can learn, IMHO!

The Ergo is great, and has almost no learning curve. The wrap is my favorite carrier of them all -- so versatile! Like pp said, you can really spread out the weight. You can also do 2 or 3 different types of back carries (at least), so when your muscles become fatigued from one way, you just retie in another configuration, which helps immensely. The Ergo positions the baby low on your back, whereas with the wrap you can tie him way up high if you prefer, so he can look over your shoulder. This really satisfies my toddler's curiosity!

Check out nineinnineout.org to see if there is a group near you, where you could try out a wrap and an Ergo. Or try LLL.

Don't be afraid of the price of a wrap or an Ergo! It's the best investment you can make on baby stuff. You'll use it nonstop.

Best wishes!

Meg, BFARing mama to two spirited daughters, born at home June 05 and April 08.
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