Frustrating Cashier yesterday - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 10:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I went to the store yesterday to get a few things. I had DS walking next to me and I had DD in a Mei Tai on my chest.

We got through the store and up to the cashier who was playing with the baby in the cart in front of us. This baby was about my DD's age and was sitting in the front part of the basket. The cashier had her hands all over his face and was pinching his cheeks and grabbing his hands and stuff.

Then we got to the front of the line. The cashier looks at the man in line behind me and says in a snarky tone "I can't play with that baby cuz this momma has her all bundled up."

Then she looked at me and started wagging her finger at me and said "Mama don't you know you have that baby too bundled up. It's hot outside. Get her out of that thing this instant. That is horrible you ought to have CPS called on you."

I looked at the woman and said "Ma'am respectively it is 73 degrees outside. My daughter is wearing a short sleeved onesie and some socks. And she is not too hot in here." I know I know I explained too much......way more than she deserved.

She then looked at me and said "Well from what I can see that baby is in sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt." :

DD had on a thin cotton onesie, a cloth diaper, and some baby legs.

The cashier was probably mid to late 20s.

I was left feeling kind of : about the whole conversation.
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#2 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 10:26 AM
 
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when i was a cashier we were trained not to make personal comments to customers. Just keep it light and simple (thank you, how are you, did you find everything etc) I think what she did was totaly inapropriate and you should call her manager. geesh!
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#3 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 10:30 AM
 
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I'd have said "The reason I have her in here is so people keep their filthy hands to themselves. If you wouldn't invade an adult's personal space like that, what makes you think it's appropriate with an infant?"

It's especially disgusting for a cashier, someone who has been handling money all day, to touch a baby's hands and cheeks. :Puke
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#4 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 10:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by JustJamie View Post
I'd have said "The reason I have her in here is so people keep their filthy hands to themselves. If you wouldn't invade an adult's personal space like that, what makes you think it's appropriate with an infant?"

It's especially disgusting for a cashier, someone who has been handling money all day, to touch a baby's hands and cheeks. :Puke
That was my thought too. I was sitting there in line watching her touching that other baby and thinking to myself "Thank goodness DD is wrapped up in here so she can't get to her."
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#5 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 10:43 AM
 
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I would definately report the entire conversation to that cashier's manager. She more or less threatened to call CPS on you albeit in a very passive/aggresive way. Her manager will not be happy with her.

UGH to a cshier touching baby's face! handling all the food and money all day? Filthy.
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#6 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 10:52 AM
 
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UGGH, this happened to me a few months back - in Walmart. A cashier looked at Avery on DH's back & recoiled in horror - "You're breaking her neck in that thing!" I just said "Thanks, I'm actually here for groceries, not parenting advice." Amazing what they get away with. I called a manager & he didn't care at all. :

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#7 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 11:03 AM
 
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Hey

Your not alone! I normally wear ds on my back and you cant imagine how many cashiers have said something snarky and stupid to me becos of it...I guess they think if the baby is in a cart or something they can go and talk to them and be a pest...but becos ds is on my back...they r like :

I just ignore them/and/or get snarky back....

Umm Ibrahim
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#8 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 11:08 AM
 
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I would have complained to a manager. That kind of personal commentary is totally inappropriate. And it is one of my personal peeves when people feel the need to comment on how my child is dressed for the weather. When it is 60 degrees outside, my child does not need a wool hat on, thank you very much.
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#9 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 11:37 AM
 
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Seriously, I have never heard of a baby freezing to death or overheating in a mother's arms, excluding natural disasters and such. Why do people think you can't manage to dress your own child in weather appropriate clothing (although, okay, my 4 yr. old sometimes insists on wearing weird stuff, but he's old enough to wear what he wants).
And what do they think people do in warm places? Humans were made with strollers, grocery carts, and AC?
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#10 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 11:51 AM
 
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Call the manager, seriously, and if the store is a large chain, call the corporate offices.

Totally inappropriate and idiotic. Telling me how to dress my child is also a huge pet peeve of mine. A couple years ago I was at the mall on a really warm March day, like 80 degrees. People were wearing short sleeves and jeans, yet some had babies in bucket seats with fleece buntings on. I know I've been caught in too warm/too cool clothes when the seasons are changing, but if you are wearing short sleeves and are comfortable, do you think the baby needs a fleece bunting? Then when these people tell me my baby is underdressed, my blood boils.
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#11 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 11:55 AM
 
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I would have returned my purchases and walked out.

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#12 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 12:05 PM
 
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I would totally complain, its rude and inappropriate to say something like that to a customer! I would have gotten fired when I was a cashier if I would have made stupid comments like that . . .
I had something similar, though, happen at the pediatrician's office. I had my son in his sling and the nurse looked at me and said, "Is that thing safe?". I said, "Of course it is, otherwise I wouldn't have my 1 MONTH OLD SON in it!". Then she said, "Are you SURE?". I had to just walk away. Some people are just ignorant and care not to be anything else.
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#13 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 12:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by CalenandEllasmomma View Post
Get her out of that thing this instant. That is horrible you ought to have CPS called on you."

:
Unbelievable. It is not too late to go back and speak to her manager for that CPS threat alone. The rest of it was awful too, but the CPS comment really boils my hide.
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#14 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 12:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah....

I haven't ever had anyone make rude comments to me about babywearing before. Usually people just tell me how pretty my carriers are and ask thoughtful questions.

It was a pretty disturbing experience really. I didn't really know how to react. I got in the car and just sat there for a minute thinking "Did that really just happen?"
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#15 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 12:28 PM
 
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How awful! Some people just don't think! I agree with everyone, I would have talked to a manager!
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#16 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 12:42 PM
 
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I probably would have been snarky right back and said to the baby "Mama knows we don't want that strangers' dirty hands all over you, huh, baby? Touching money all day and then feeling entitled to grabbing every baby who comes through her line. How strange!"
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#17 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 01:01 PM
 
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Some folks will explode if they don't open their mouth at every opportunity. My MIL is one of them.

Once we were at a bookstore, and I saw a mama with a sleeping baby in her sling, and I pointed it out to MIL and said, "Isn't that handy? She doesn't have to worry about a buggy or anything!" MIL recoiled in shock and said, "She'll suffocate that poor baby!" Riiiiiiight... that baby's not sleeping peacefully in her mother's arms, she's probably dead. Let's just go right ahead and assume the worst about everything.

Honestly- I'd speak to the manager. And I wouldn't let it bother me, because that cashier was a danger to your child. Just think if she had handled raw chicken belonging to the person in front of you, not to mention her money! That's on the top ten list of reasons we bought a sling in the first place, so we wouldn't have to worry about random folks' germs getting all over our precious baby. The under-dressed comment really steams me too- of course a perfect stranger knows what the child needs better than his/her own mama!
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#18 of 45 Old 05-17-2007, 01:13 PM
 
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You should definately talk to the manager there for several reasons. :

1. Threats of calling CPS should not be taken lightly-EVER.
2. Touching the other customer's kids with filthy unclean hands...gross.
3. Telling you to get her out of that thing "THIS INSTANT" is totally inappropriate. She's a cashier, not your parent.

Why can't people just shut up and do their jobs, instead of making unneeded comments all the time???????

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#19 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 11:12 AM
 
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Heh, I was walking into the grocery store yesterday w/ ds on the front and some little old lady looked at us and said "what is THAT" all horrified my reply "its a baby silly!!" and kept on walking
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#20 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 11:22 AM
 
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Oh hell no. Go to management NOW and complain. Raise a huge stink. Making a veiled threat about CPS??!!!?? HOW DARE SHE!!!

Raise hell. Raise HELL.
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#21 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 12:18 PM
 
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maybe it would have been better if you had your baby in one of those car carriers propped on the shopping cart. people seen to have a problem bonding with their baby. i feel so bad for those babies. i had people comment about is the baby dressed warm. that makes me mad too. i dont want your unwanted advise on how to dress my baby.i know i stick out like a thumb when i am shopping and i am wearing my 9 month old. i live in an erea where many affluent mainstrem women shop. i would call the corperate to ask if it is standerd procedures to threaten customers with cps it they dont agree with your baby raising methods.

Lisa wife to Ronne and mom to 4 kids ,Thomas 4/92, Amanda 9/99, Christopher 8/06 & Nathaniel 5/08.
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#22 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 01:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bethwl View Post
Call the manager, seriously, and if the store is a large chain, call the corporate offices.

Totally inappropriate and idiotic. Telling me how to dress my child is also a huge pet peeve of mine. A couple years ago I was at the mall on a really warm March day, like 80 degrees. People were wearing short sleeves and jeans, yet some had babies in bucket seats with fleece buntings on. I know I've been caught in too warm/too cool clothes when the seasons are changing, but if you are wearing short sleeves and are comfortable, do you think the baby needs a fleece bunting? Then when these people tell me my baby is underdressed, my blood boils.
:
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#23 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 01:45 PM
 
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does the store employ developmentally challenged individuals? from what you are quoating it sounds so much like someone who has develomental issues. though, of course, i can be wrong, on this. just a hunch.

in any case, hugs

how frustrating. the CPS comment was certainly uncalled for!
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#24 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 01:48 PM
 
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At the Expensive Baby Crap Store (aka Babies R Us), the cashier said to me "Oh, that one looks really uncomfortable" (my Ergo)

Yes, lady, I carry him around this way because it hurts. Thanks for your input.

Another time at Walmart, I had DS in a front carrier when he was an infant, and a little old grandma walked up to me and said "Oh my God, can he BREATHE?"
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#25 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 02:40 PM
 
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Oddly, I have mostly gotten good comments around here. A couple of confused ones, one "mama carried you long enough, give her a break!" (at the hfs no less!) but lots of "ooh what a nice comfy ride you have".

"Right lady. They call it an Ergo because it's ergonomically designed to hurt me."

(On a side note, I saw an Ergo live and in person for the first time last night and I'm jealous. : )
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#26 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 02:45 PM
 
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You have to speak to the manager. It's not ok to touch a person's baby with grubby money hands, but you know I can live with that since I am not germ phobic. On the other hand it is none of a cashiers business how you're carrying a baby and the threat about CPS????!!!! I think I might had made a scene right then. I would follow it up with a letter to their corporate headquarters.

I have a wrap to wear my guy on order because I am sick of not being able to see over the carseat on the shopping cart and I would feel more secure wearing him. (yes I am late to the party but am happy to be here). Even if I didn't feel this way I would never have though people would object to it. Before I had a child I thought it was so sweet to see and made perfect sense. The more I read about people's experience here the more I realize I must live in a bubble a lot of the time because I had no idea people could be so ignorant about some things!
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#27 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 02:47 PM
 
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I don't even bother trying to explain myself when it comes to whackos like that. I think I would have rolled my eyes and said "Whatever." And completely ignored her until the transaction was over.

Then I would have marched straight up to management and reported the entire conversation, including the CPS remark, to them.

I'm sorry you had to deal with someone like that.
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#28 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 09:30 PM
 
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does the store employ developmentally challenged individuals? from what you are quoating it sounds so much like someone who has develomental issues. though, of course, i can be wrong, on this. just a hunch.

in any case, hugs

how frustrating. the CPS comment was certainly uncalled for!
: The kohl's near us hires a lot of high functioning develkopmentally disabled. At first I thought one of the cashiers was a little wacky until I noticed that there were others like her. If that's the case, I think it's cool and you should let it slide. If not, call the manager.
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#29 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 10:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well we, DH and I, went back to the store this afternoon. She is definitely fully functioning. I spoke with the manager who had her apologize to me albeit she seemed reluctant to do so. I also asked that he educate his cashiers about what sort of comments are appropriate and innappropriate.

I still don't think I will be going back into that store anytime soon though.
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#30 of 45 Old 05-18-2007, 11:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JustJamie View Post
I'd have said "The reason I have her in here is so people keep their filthy hands to themselves. If you wouldn't invade an adult's personal space like that, what makes you think it's appropriate with an infant?"

It's especially disgusting for a cashier, someone who has been handling money all day, to touch a baby's hands and cheeks. :Puke
Yay that on the filthy hands thing. I don't go poking them in the face.what makes them think it's ok to touch my kid. :

Quote:
Originally Posted by rmzbm View Post
UGGH, this happened to me a few months back - in Walmart. A cashier looked at Avery on DH's back & recoiled in horror - "You're breaking her neck in that thing!" I just said "Thanks, I'm actually here for groceries, not parenting advice." Amazing what they get away with. I called a manager & he didn't care at all. :
Thats just silly.
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Originally Posted by CalenandEllasmomma View Post
Well we, DH and I, went back to the store this afternoon. She is definitely fully functioning. I spoke with the manager who had her apologize to me albeit she seemed reluctant to do so. I also asked that he educate his cashiers about what sort of comments are appropriate and innappropriate.

I still don't think I will be going back into that store anytime soon though.
Good for you!

Doing what I can to make better choices every day!
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