Is it really possible to AP my 33 lb baby anymore? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 07-28-2007, 10:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My ds2 is 18 months old today. He loves nursing, does so all the time (!) , and also wants to be held a lot. I am fine with that and did that with my first two children... but Finn is 33 lbs now. He is a big, chunky, beautiful boy...who is hurting my back.

Can anyone recommend a carrier? I have the Baby Trekker but he hangs away too much in that. He is not old enough to even walk to the car if you tell him to come on. he just chases a bug, etc. instead. So I carry him all the time. he loves being close to mama. Moreso than my other children. It is very noticeable by my family how much he wants to be next to me.

We still co-sleep and the whole shebang. But the carrying bit is getting ridiculous!

TIA,
bean
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#2 of 26 Old 07-28-2007, 11:46 PM
 
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Ergo or Patapum on the back, I think. You need some serious support. I think you'd only be able to nurse sitting (or laying) down at this point. He's just too heavy to carry and nurse, IMO.

ETA: Carry and nurse at the same time. Not each individually
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#3 of 26 Old 07-29-2007, 12:52 AM
 
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Ergo! Great on the back, and you could, in a pinch, wear it on the front and nurse (with some judicious adjusting/slouching).
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#4 of 26 Old 07-29-2007, 10:43 AM
 
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I think a soft structured carrier (Ergo, Patapum, Beco) is definitely the way to go. They're very easy to nurse in, too, on the front.

You could also look at a wrap (a heavy-duty supportive one like a Didymos or Storchenwiege) but if he's walking and in the up-down stage, I find it more of PITA to get off and on, and I hate dragging the tails on the ground.

A tall-bodied MT such as the Babyhawk Toddler version or the Kozy would be another option, but they aren't as supportive as the SSC IMO. And again in the up-down phase I hate the tails dragging on the ground!

Do you have a babywearing group anywhere around you that you could check the different carriers out and see what you like?

Come visit the NEW QuirkyBaby website -- earn QB Bucks rewards points for purchases, reviews, referrals, and more! Free US shipping on great brands of baby slings and carriers and FREE BabyLegs or babywearing mirror on orders of $100+. Take the QB Quiz for personalized advice!

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#5 of 26 Old 07-29-2007, 03:38 PM
 
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I have a Bei Bei that I love for back carries with my dd. She's 32 pounds. I don't think I use it exactly like you're supposed to, but it works great and it's soooo easy.
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#6 of 26 Old 07-29-2007, 03:44 PM
 
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I would use a Mei Tai. I carry my 5 YO DD in my Kozy VERY comfortably! www.kozycarrier.com

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#7 of 26 Old 07-29-2007, 07:04 PM
 
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Ditto to the recommendation for a back carry with a mei tai.

Also wanted to reassure you that you can be an attached parent without wearing your child. Babywearing is just something you do. AP is a state of mind that guides what parenting choices you make.

may my heart always be open to little birds who are the secrets of living whatever they sing is better than to know  - e.e. cummings
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#8 of 26 Old 07-29-2007, 07:13 PM
 
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I switched to a stroller when my kids were that big, only pulling out the carrier (which lived in the diaper bag) when the baby was REALLY fussy and just wanted to be held and couldn't wait until we got home for snuggles.

Baby outgrowing full-time babywearing does NOT mean the end of APing. I've found that toddlers often want to run/walk and not be carried so much anyway, and many of them enjoy the stroller, especially if they can climb in and out by themselves.

OK, I need to sign off now. MY 5YO IS "HELPING" ME TYPE.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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#9 of 26 Old 07-29-2007, 07:16 PM
 
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dd is 35lbs and on the rare occasion I do wear her its in a mei tai or a hip carry in a sling. I do use the stoller alot more now if we are going to be out for very long because she gets tired as does my pregnant self. Before I got pregnant I was still wearing her in the mei tai 2-3 hours a week.
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#10 of 26 Old 07-29-2007, 10:09 PM
 
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My babe is 34 pounds and just turned 8 months yesterday....

He is still so young that he needs to be held most of the time... Dh can wear him in the MT but the Ergo isn't comfy at all for neither of us...

The Woven wrap is the only carrier that gives the support that I need to wear him comfortably... though it is a pain for on and offs I have gotten used to it and I would rather that extra minute to put him on than to have a sore back... (we don't use strollers with young babes in our home)

 
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#11 of 26 Old 07-29-2007, 10:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for all of the names of carriers! I gave birth to my first child in 1995, and so have not really progressed beyond that time period when it comes to brands of carriers!

I love the statements that "AP is a frame of mind" and wearing your child is not necessarily all there is to it. How beautiful.

Finn is different than my first two kids in that while he is curious, loves to walk, climb, explore...he also has a lot of time during the day when he wants to be held and to "observe" Mommy cooking, cleaning, etc. for an extended period of time.

So I am looking for a way to wear him for at least a little bit during those activities. I will look into every one of those suggestions...and thank you for the idea of going back to my AP group to check out some "live and in person".

Smiles,
Bean
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#12 of 26 Old 07-30-2007, 11:50 AM
 
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THe best carrier I think for a 33lb child is an ergo!! I love my ergo!!! I can wear it all day and not hurt! Good luck!

Jennifer, SAHM to my little man 5 1/2 and my VBAC sweetie pie girls 4 1/2, 2 1/2 and 6mos. 

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#13 of 26 Old 07-30-2007, 12:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hubris View Post

Also wanted to reassure you that you can be an attached parent without wearing your child. Babywearing is just something you do. AP is a state of mind that guides what parenting choices you make.
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#14 of 26 Old 07-30-2007, 12:44 PM
 
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it sounds to me like you are being a great attachment parent - looking for ways to accommodate the needs of your child.

ita with Quirky on the carrier recommendations. i think a SSC is the way to go. my DS is 33 lbs, was 28 lbs at a year, so i've spent a lot of time wearing a heavy toddler. a MT works well for shorter periods of time, but at 15 months he was still napping on my back almost every day, and needing to be worn a lot other times of the day as well, and the SSC (a patapum) was a life saver. they are also really quick and easy to put on and take off because of the buckles, which is nice for the up and down up and down of a toddler
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#15 of 26 Old 07-30-2007, 12:47 PM
 
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My 38 pound boy had a lovely ride/snuggle in the Ergo yesterday while I made a cake.

he just turned 2 and he's such a big boy. I don't wear him every day but he loves it so much so I try to give him some Ergo time a few times a week. More than an hour puts too much pressure on my back though and gives me a headache.

Don't forget, AP isn't just babywearing.
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#16 of 26 Old 07-30-2007, 03:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by ldsmom06 View Post
THe best carrier I think for a 33lb child is an ergo!! I love my ergo!!! I can wear it all day and not hurt! Good luck!
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Originally Posted by pixiepunk View Post
it sounds to me like you are being a great attachment parent - looking for ways to accommodate the needs of your child.

ita with Quirky on the carrier recommendations. i think a SSC is the way to go. my DS is 33 lbs, was 28 lbs at a year, so i've spent a lot of time wearing a heavy toddler. a MT works well for shorter periods of time, but at 15 months he was still napping on my back almost every day, and needing to be worn a lot other times of the day as well, and the SSC (a patapum) was a life saver. they are also really quick and easy to put on and take off because of the buckles, which is nice for the up and down up and down of a toddler
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Originally Posted by Baby Makes 4 View Post
My 38 pound boy had a lovely ride/snuggle in the Ergo yesterday while I made a cake.

he just turned 2 and he's such a big boy. I don't wear him every day but he loves it so much so I try to give him some Ergo time a few times a week. More than an hour puts too much pressure on my back though and gives me a headache.

Don't forget, AP isn't just babywearing.
More great advice. I am so grateful, Mamas. Thank you.
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#17 of 26 Old 07-31-2007, 02:52 PM
 
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Ergo!!!! My 12 month old is about 35 pounds and I couldn't live without my ergo. I've been vending at a faire every weekend this July and the ergo has saved my life. When she allows it, I can wear her for hours.

I wear her only on the back, and very low down into my lower back. She pretty much rests right at the upper part of my bum cakes. That feels the best and gives me no back pain.

I experimented with a back carry with a babyhawk & a storchenweige. I didn't like either...the babyhawk cuts deep in the shoulders and hurts across the chest with those thin straps. The storchenweige felt better, but the way you have to wrap your shoulders up restricts arm movements (no lifting high up)...and it doesn't feel as secure as the ergo. Also, it loosens over time, so you have to readjust every now & then.

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#18 of 26 Old 07-31-2007, 04:20 PM
 
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Here is a picture of DP carrying my 35+lb 2yo DS in one of our Faerie Packs. This carrier is a longer-bodied MT with wrap-style straps, and we use it a lot most days. The one in the picture has a headrest flap that can be pulled up and tied into place if the little one is napping.

When we carry Bub now, I try to get him in as high as possible - I tie the waist straps near my ribcage rather than at my waist. Then I cross the straps in front, bring them around to the back, and do a "Lexi twist" where the straps are twisted around each other once to make an X over the bum. I do this pretty tight, because the twist is the key to getting the little turkey from sticking out too far from your body! Then the straps go between his legs and around my sides to the front for tying. After he's all tied on, I'm able to spread the straps out over my shoulders, and over my breasts for good weight distribution. I do very poorly with anything put on "backpack style", so I HAVE to have the straps crossed in front for comfort.
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#19 of 26 Old 07-31-2007, 10:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ergo!!!! My 12 month old is about 35 pounds and I couldn't live without my ergo. I've been vending at a faire every weekend this July and the ergo has saved my life. When she allows it, I can wear her for hours.

I wear her only on the back, and very low down into my lower back. She pretty much rests right at the upper part of my bum cakes. That feels the best and gives me no back pain.

I experimented with a back carry with a babyhawk & a storchenweige. I didn't like either...the babyhawk cuts deep in the shoulders and hurts across the chest with those thin straps. The storchenweige felt better, but the way you have to wrap your shoulders up restricts arm movements (no lifting high up)...and it doesn't feel as secure as the ergo. Also, it loosens over time, so you have to readjust every now & then.
Thank you! That sounds really good, like just what I need. I have big boobs, too, so I have GOT to look out for my back!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mehndi mama View Post
Here is a picture of DP carrying my 35+lb 2yo DS in one of our Faerie Packs. This carrier is a longer-bodied MT with wrap-style straps, and we use it a lot most days. The one in the picture has a headrest flap that can be pulled up and tied into place if the little one is napping.

When we carry Bub now, I try to get him in as high as possible - I tie the waist straps near my ribcage rather than at my waist. Then I cross the straps in front, bring them around to the back, and do a "Lexi twist" where the straps are twisted around each other once to make an X over the bum. I do this pretty tight, because the twist is the key to getting the little turkey from sticking out too far from your body! Then the straps go between his legs and around my sides to the front for tying. After he's all tied on, I'm able to spread the straps out over my shoulders, and over my breasts for good weight distribution. I do very poorly with anything put on "backpack style", so I HAVE to have the straps crossed in front for comfort.
How precious is that?!!! I think I would have to cross them, too, 'cuz of
ma' big boobs.
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#20 of 26 Old 07-31-2007, 11:05 PM
 
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Oh no! Your AP days are numnbered now! If you can't heft the big baby around on your hip or back, all the other stuff means dank nada, and squat.





Of course not! AP doesn't end when a child gets a Budda belly. AP is not about carrying 24/7.

I think it's really sad that people think they cannot be close tot heir babies once they are heavy. Its so not about carrying all the time.

How sad that MDC has put babywearing out as the only form of loving your baby.
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#21 of 26 Old 08-01-2007, 11:18 PM
 
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For me, it wasn't a choice; AP or no AP, I was going to be carrying my older daughter, who was, um, never petite and carried like a huge sack of flour! LOL! She absolutely flipped out at the sight of the stroller. Her legs were rubber if I tried to get her to walk. And this was at close to 4 and I was pg and just too darned tired to heft her anymore. I so wish I'd known about the Ergo then! It would have made a rough time not so rough.

Once a kid gets heavier than you'd like to carry, if they want to go in the stroller, by all means! My 2nd has pretty much always preferred the stroller but I mostly didn't take it out of the trunk until she absolutely refused flat out to go in a baby carrier. It's still AP! I am respecting her wishes and needs to the best of my ability. As I did with my older daughter.

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#22 of 26 Old 08-02-2007, 06:07 AM
 
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I love it when I go to post something on MDC and find that someone has already done it for me!

My DS is 4 months old and 20 lbs... I just met a BIG 15 month old boy today and realized that I was looking into my near future - and I knew that I will need a good carrier!

I mean, like Khéna's mom (saw the pics - adorable), my kid won't be walking before he will be really too heavy to carry in arms comfortably.

I just ordered an Ergo and I am glad to be reassured that it was a good choice!

Mother to a wonderful 4 year old boy born March 2007 who was once fuzmalesling.gifbfolderchild.gifdiaper.gif and still familybed1.gif

Starting once more from the beginning and  expecting bigeyes.gif a surprise someone pos.gif in September

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#23 of 26 Old 08-02-2007, 09:28 AM
 
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I just ordered an Ergo and I am glad to be reassured that it was a good choice!
I think you'll really like it for your chub man! My daughter was 13 pounds at birth & she just shot up from there. I've struggled with other carriers & finally tried the Ergo. We love it! Especially for a back carry.

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#24 of 26 Old 08-02-2007, 10:22 AM
 
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13 pounds at birth?!?! is there a fainting smilie? wow! i bet you've got some serious babywearing muscles
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#25 of 26 Old 08-02-2007, 11:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by hubris View Post
Ditto to the recommendation for a back carry with a mei tai.

Also wanted to reassure you that you can be an attached parent without wearing your child. Babywearing is just something you do. AP is a state of mind that guides what parenting choices you make.
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#26 of 26 Old 08-04-2007, 02:39 PM
 
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I wear my 33ish lb 3 year old in a wrap and I've always found a woven wrap to be the most comfortable carry.

A Mei Tai works great too, but for me the Mei Tai is the one that is a pain to take off and put on with long straps dragging.

If you wear your (not-so) little one in a front wrap cross carry in a wrap, you should be able to take him out and put him back in without untying it at all. So the wrap stays on you whether he does or not!

You can do this with a hip carry too, but hip carries generally go over only one shoulder and that is not as comfortable for long periods. Of course, if he's in and out, and doesn't stay in there for more than an hour, you might be perfectly happy!

Diana, homebirthing, homeschooling, homemaking wife and mother of two (plus one more coming this Spring)!
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