Could slinging at home be a form of lazy parenting?: - Mothering Forums
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Babywearing > Could slinging at home be a form of lazy parenting?:
aywilkes's Avatar aywilkes 12:41 PM 10-14-2007
Okay...I've been thinking about this lately.
My DD (8.5 months) is very mobile and loves crawling around, pulling up on furniture, and searching for tiny articles of trash on the carpet, eating cords, eating shoes, and eating paper. When I need to cook, work on the computer, want to read, or a host of other things, I really can't leave her alone for too long b/c she's so quick. I've started putting her in the sling during these times on the advice of my friend and sis, but I feel like I'm restricting her movement and putting her in "prison" - albeit a cozy one close to me.

I remember when I had my DS (no sling or babywearing), I would let him come to the kitchen with me and play with pots, he also didn't crawl (he rolled) so he wasn't getting around as fast as her. I distinctly remember telling his grandma that I didn't want a swing nor would I turn on the t.v. b/c it wasn't right to let those things babysit him. Now, I feel like I might be letting the sling babysit my dd.

How much time a day should I let her just be. She's so busy and although I love seeing her explore and move around - it is tons of work and I want to put her in the sling sometimes. That's bad I know.:

mammy bear's Avatar mammy bear 12:59 PM 10-14-2007
I don't think theres anything wrong with slinging your DD when you need to. As long as she's happy and not wriggling around tying to get out. I sling my DD (6 months) for most of the day but she definately lets me know when she's had enough. I couldn't keep her there even if I tried. I think if your DD is happy and relaxed in the sling then go for it.
Phantaja's Avatar Phantaja 01:16 PM 10-14-2007
I sort of just stumbled across this thread, so you'll have to take this with a grain of salt, but so what if using the sling is "lazy parenting"? Its a thing that's good for you and good for your baby. You're right there with her and she is involved in your every move in the sling. I don't understand why things have to be difficult for people to feel as if they're doing the right thing.

I remember when my step boys were very young, both in diapers and bottles, and people telling me that if I'm not having a hard time then I must not be doing it right. Why can't a system that works be both easy and beneficial?
attachedmamaof3's Avatar attachedmamaof3 01:19 PM 10-14-2007
Sling when you need to!!

I do suggest that you kind of "let go" of some of the non-issues. In reality, it really doesn't matter if your kid eats paper, or shoes. It's a whole new game when you make a decision to stop freaking over the little things!! (Obviously the cords/trash is a safety issue so you definately want to watch that...) My 9 month old walks around with a shoe in her mouth at all times!! She literally bites chunks out of my flip-flops.

If it won't hurt 'em, don't sweat it!!
Leilalu's Avatar Leilalu 01:21 PM 10-14-2007
Well when you have more than one child, it becomes a need. I have decided that number 3 will have to be slung for most of the day solely on the basis of safety reasons.

My kids were very active, and we slung a lot, but mostly when out. But with 2 it was easy to keep tabs on everyone all the time. Sometimes I fear for this third child
aywilkes's Avatar aywilkes 01:32 PM 10-14-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by attachedmamaof3 View Post
Sling when you need to!!

I do suggest that you kind of "let go" of some of the non-issues. In reality, it really doesn't matter if your kid eats paper, or shoes. It's a whole new game when you make a decision to stop freaking over the little things!! (Obviously the cords/trash is a safety issue so you definately want to watch that...) My 9 month old walks around with a shoe in her mouth at all times!! She literally bites chunks out of my flip-flops.

If it won't hurt 'em, don't sweat it!!
I'm so trying to be like you in so many areas of my life!
MamaRainebeau's Avatar MamaRainebeau 01:35 PM 10-14-2007
I'm such a dork I thought this thread was entitled "Could SINGing...be a form of lazy parenting?" huh???
attachedmamaof3's Avatar attachedmamaof3 01:41 PM 10-14-2007


It's GREAT when it finally clicks.

For me, it's a necessity when you've got kids...running around after them telling them no all day or "rescuing" them from inanimate objects just wasn't working for us!! You've gotta prioritize... will it cause injury/death/dismemberment? No? Then it's OKAY WITH ME!! :

It's either that or self-medication...and since I'm not into self-medication in front of the kids then HAVE YOUR FUN BABIES!!!
Leilalu's Avatar Leilalu 01:55 PM 10-14-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by attachedmamaof3 View Post


It's GREAT when it finally clicks.

For me, it's a necessity when you've got kids...running around after them telling them no all day or "rescuing" them from inanimate objects just wasn't working for us!! You've gotta prioritize... will it cause injury/death/dismemberment? No? Then it's OKAY WITH ME!! :

It's either that or self-medication...and since I'm not into self-medication in front of the kids then HAVE YOUR FUN BABIES!!!
Well I am concerned about suffocation because my kids have a new fun game called "hiding under blankets"...

So lazy or not, I do actually have stuff to do while raising children and will happily sling for as long as baby will let me.
attachedmamaof3's Avatar attachedmamaof3 02:04 PM 10-14-2007
Absolutely! Mine generally decided they were semi-done with slinging when they began walking (8-9 months for us) so we kinda had to go another route....I WISH mine would still let me pop 'em in a hotsling!!
mamameg's Avatar mamameg 02:09 PM 10-14-2007
Could be lazy parenting... and I'm all for it!

Co-sleeping - easier for me!
Breastfeeding - easier for me!
Babywearing - easier for me!

I'm allllllll about the lazy parenting! I'm just lucky enough that my lazy parenting is also better for my kids than the not-so-lazy alternatives.

Keep up the good work!
Subliime's Avatar Subliime 03:28 PM 10-14-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamameg View Post
Could be lazy parenting... and I'm all for it!

Co-sleeping - easier for me!
Breastfeeding - easier for me!
Babywearing - easier for me!

I'm allllllll about the lazy parenting! I'm just lucky enough that my lazy parenting is also better for my kids than the not-so-lazy alternatives.

Keep up the good work!
:

I don't sling my dd as much as I would like to, I lent my MT out and haven't gotten back yet But... my house is just naturally babyproof right now so I just let dd crawl around all over the house on her own!! It's a small apartment so it's not like I don't know what she's doing, but... that's what works for us. You have to do what works for you.

I also wanted to add that I really think slinging is a good thing! Even at that age. My dd enjoys watching my every move while I am holding her. It is a learning experience for them!
lyttlewon's Avatar lyttlewon 03:39 PM 10-14-2007
Did I miss the requirement that parenting was supposed to be hard work 24/7 until you learn to hate it? That is the point of a sling...so you can live.
jeca's Avatar jeca 03:40 PM 10-14-2007
Slinging at home actually helped me get more done.
Arwyn's Avatar Arwyn 03:45 PM 10-14-2007
I'm a firm believer that babywearing is GOOD for babies, of all ages (as long as they're not fighting it, obviously). They either sleep (good!) or are in a quiet alert state, watching and learning (good!). And they're close to you, can feel and smell and see and hear (and often taste ) you. And they get to watch what you're doing. And you're stimulating their vestibular system in all kinds of good ways. And you know that they're safe, and can tell immediately if they need anything (by the way they squirm or move or make noise). PLUS you get to get work done. This is bad how??

I wear my baby at home at least several hours every day. He's mobile now, so he does like being down on the ground when he's awake sometimes, but sometimes he just wants UP. It's good for him, it's good for me, it's easy, and it's sooooo snuggly comfy. I don't see the problem!
AileenM's Avatar AileenM 03:58 PM 10-14-2007
Sure, I think it could be, if you do it *too* much...so could TV, and the swing, etc. etc. etc....

I put my daughter in front of the TV to take showers. I even put it on brainless Yo Gabba Gabba. She's in front of it for about 15-20 minutes total. The way I see it, there's nothing wrong with that. Now, if I were to put her in front of the TV and leave her there for hours, then yes, I think that's a problem. I also use the dreaded swing for short periods of time (folding laundry, or cooking dinner with very hot stuff on the stove like oil) and I don't see the problem, as long as I don't leave her in a swinging wasteland for hours. I think it's the same with the sling...if she wants out to go and play, I let her out. I love wearing her...it's very snuggly and I think that it promotes independence and good emotional stability. It's great for doing things sometimes, and awesome for getting her to sleep on those rough days, but I think that kids need to interact with the world in order to learn, and I don't think they get *as much* of that interaction by being worn all the time.
anonymamadaddy's Avatar anonymamadaddy 04:00 PM 10-14-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phantaja View Post
I sort of just stumbled across this thread, so you'll have to take this with a grain of salt, but so what if using the sling is "lazy parenting"? Its a thing that's good for you and good for your baby. You're right there with her and she is involved in your every move in the sling. I don't understand why things have to be difficult for people to feel as if they're doing the right thing.

I remember when my step boys were very young, both in diapers and bottles, and people telling me that if I'm not having a hard time then I must not be doing it right. Why can't a system that works be both easy and beneficial?
:
Tiffany_PartyOf5's Avatar Tiffany_PartyOf5 05:05 PM 10-14-2007
totally different.. in a sling, a baby sees whats going on and can learn... they see everything!! hear everything! in a swing or bouncy seat, all they see or hear is the swing or whats right around them... not much learning or activity going on there..
eastmillcreekmama's Avatar eastmillcreekmama 05:38 PM 10-14-2007
I don't think so at all...you are a person and you have things you NEED to get done, and if the only way to do it is to sling the babe, then DO it! We don't need to do everything the baby wants all the time. I am coming into this understanding, it's part of life they need to begin to understand. They don't ALWAYS get to do what they want. Sometimes it's what you want/need. Sling her up, and when you're done with your task, or ready to police her need to put things in her mouth, give her the free time on the floor and play with her. But don't feel bad for taking care of your sanity! As DD got older, we had many smaller and shorter periods of sling wearing, but we did it, and as others have said, it can be interesting and a learning experience for your DC.

Oh, and the putting things in mouth thing does decrease eventually.
Leilalu's Avatar Leilalu 09:36 PM 10-14-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by lyttlewon View Post
Did I miss the requirement that parenting was supposed to be hard work 24/7 until you learn to hate it? That is the point of a sling...so you can live.

and to this I add: "and not live in filth, you can clean with a sling on!"
_betsy_'s Avatar _betsy_ 11:00 PM 10-14-2007
DD, now 13 mo, HATES the vacuum. Unless she's in the sling. No idea why, but I literally can't vacuum without her in the sling - she goes nuts. Screaming, crying, samping feet - no thanks! Not good for her or for me! Into the sling she goes. In fact, anytime I need to keep her close by and not have my full attention on her, she goes in the sling. As long as she'll let me, I intend to keep doing it. She's incredibly active, I think she likes the time to recharge, cuddle and hang out with me.
UmmIbrahim's Avatar UmmIbrahim 11:08 PM 10-14-2007
Considering its what women and other caretakers have done w/ their children since time immortal...how could it be lazy? Its the original method of taking care of a child while getting done what you need to get done!
Its done in almost every society around the world in some form or another...

If it works...it works...obviously it works if humans have been using fabric, woven plant fibers or hides to carry their kids in...forever...why stop now!
midwestmeg's Avatar midwestmeg 01:45 PM 10-15-2007
This is such a cute thread!

Love the 'lazy' parenting... teehee! I have a 10 mo old and I don't care if he wants to be down on the floor eating dust bunnies; I'm getting my cuddle time in while I can! Babyhood goes so quickly.
wahoowhippets's Avatar wahoowhippets 02:06 PM 10-15-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by lyttlewon View Post
Did I miss the requirement that parenting was supposed to be hard work 24/7 until you learn to hate it? That is the point of a sling...so you can live.

:

I think you are doing great! Whatever works best for YOU is just what you need to be doing. Who care what anyone else thinks, right? I have three kids and sometimes I *have* to wear the baby just to be able to take care of what the other two need without all hell breaking loose! As long as baby seems content, why not?
gardenmommy's Avatar gardenmommy 02:00 PM 10-16-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamameg View Post
Could be lazy parenting... and I'm all for it!

Co-sleeping - easier for me!
Breastfeeding - easier for me!
Babywearing - easier for me!

I'm allllllll about the lazy parenting! I'm just lucky enough that my lazy parenting is also better for my kids than the not-so-lazy alternatives.

Keep up the good work!

Me too.
MamaTT's Avatar MamaTT 03:17 PM 10-16-2007
Don't sweat it. Seriously. I have three kids, two jobs, and I'm homeschooling. DD is constantly in the sling. I barely do "tummy time" three times a week.

She does nap on her own sometimes, but otherwise, she is worn.
Evansmama's Avatar Evansmama 03:34 PM 10-16-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamameg View Post
Could be lazy parenting... and I'm all for it!

Co-sleeping - easier for me!
Breastfeeding - easier for me!
Babywearing - easier for me!

I'm allllllll about the lazy parenting! I'm just lucky enough that my lazy parenting is also better for my kids than the not-so-lazy alternatives.

Keep up the good work!

:
laohaire's Avatar laohaire 04:27 PM 10-16-2007
To me, lazy is avoiding the things you need to do, or doing a bad job of it, because you don't feel like making the effort.

Doing things the easy way is a much larger category that includes doing things sensibly as well as being lazy. But just because a thing is easy doesn't make it lazy.

To me, slinging a child is sensible. It's not copping out.

Lazy parenting to me is sticking a child in a playpen all day while you watch soap operas, and not bothering to get up when they cry. (Not bashing playpens OR soap operas but the lazy use of both!).

I was in Tanzania a few years back, and saw women carrying backbreaking amounts of water and hoeing fields and other things. They carried their babies in a kanga on their backs. Lazy? I think not. Vacuuming might be a little less intensive than the labor I just described, but it's still work, and women (and men) gotta do what they gotta do.

Is your baby happy in the sling? Are you stuffing a crying baby into a sling because it's easy and you can't be bothered to do something else? I doubt it!
MaryLang's Avatar MaryLang 05:37 PM 10-16-2007
I haven't read everyones response, but this made me lol . I always used to tell people "I'm only doing this because I'm lazy!", when slinging my babes.
hottmama's Avatar hottmama 12:08 AM 10-17-2007
I don't think it's lazy-- lazy would be plopping the baby in a crib or playpen and turning the music up so you don't have to hear them cry. But I do think it's important for babies to explore their world once they're mobile.
My littlest guy started crawling and cruising at 5.5 mos. : so I had to babyproof in a hurry, but a week later, he had free roam of the house, minus the bathrooms (he had a thing for splashing in toilets). We had a few minor problems with that (like when he climbed up on the dining room table and ate a few handfuls of chili, despite our plans to wait until 6 mos. before giving him any solids ), but mostly he was fine. He ate a bit of paper, he occasionally bit the cat, but he's a happy, active toddler now so I assume it didn't cause any real damage. When he started walking at 8.5 mos, that's when we started having real issues (like when he ran off and hid in a Gap fitting room at 9 mos. old!) Crawling babies are good practice for walking and running.
When my oldest started crawling, I only had him and I didn't really have anything else to do other than play with him and chase each other around on all fours. I never slung him at home.
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