When is your child too old to wear? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 36 Old 02-12-2008, 10:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My daughter is almost 2.5 years, about 28 ish pounds, and wants to be carried sometimes, especially out in public. She likes to see what's going on and with her eyes at knee height I can understand why she wants UP. My mom always yells at her that she's too big when she asks to be picked up. I just keep my ring sling handy at all times.

The sling is okay for a while but she's heavy enough that it gets tiring and my hip starts to hurt after a while. If I put her down and she still wants up, she'll scream. Sometimes she's okay with the stroller, other times, not. And in general, I like wearing/carrying her. Again my mom with the parenting advice says this is my own fault that I should have put her in a stroller from birth and/or carried her in a car seat and let her scream it out and get used to it like other babies and she's spoiled, etc.

So -- is she too big to be carrying when she asks to be up? Are there better options for carrying her at this point? Is she too old to be making an investment in another carrier that we'll only use for a bit? Please tell me if I'm spoiling her. I'm really not into the scream it out advice from mom. We're not a CIO family from any perspective.


TIA!

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#2 of 36 Old 02-12-2008, 10:48 AM
 
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that's just crazy. DH still carries DD (who will be 5 in May) on his shoulders sometimes, and if we go on a long hike he'll put her on his back in a SSC or frame pack. my 35 pound 2.5 yo still gets worn/carried pretty frequently, even though i'm 30 weeks pregnant.

being attentive to your child's needs is not spoiling them!! listen to your instincts, ignore your mother
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#3 of 36 Old 02-12-2008, 10:50 AM
 
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They are too old to carry when it causes you a lot of discomfort. That could be 9 months or 5 years. Everyone is different. And no, you arent spoiling her. We still wear our 29 lb 2 year old. I prefer it, it keeps her out of trouble.
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#4 of 36 Old 02-12-2008, 10:56 AM
 
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That's nonsense!!
Babies are meant to be held, and there isn't a timetable on that. I still pick up and hold my 3y Ds and my 5yr Dd (though she is getting kind of heavy for me to carry ) It's important to them and really it's important to me too.
I wore my Ds until he was almost 3 and I stopped because he was no longer interested in being in a carrier. When I did wear him I fond a wrap or Mei Tai to be the most comfortable.
If your Dd wants to be held and worn then follow her lead. You are meeting her needs, that's not spoiling that's called connection, and it's a good thing

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#5 of 36 Old 02-12-2008, 02:00 PM
 
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I don't think there really is an age. More when you might physically be unable to carry/wear them. DD1 is 5 1/2 and 42lbs now some ppl might not have an issue doing a backcarry but I myself am short and cannot carry her. DD2 is 2 and 25lbs still wear her daily.

I don't think your dd is to old to carry. She may be to heavy to carry in a ring sling for any long period of time and you may want to look into buying a SSC like an ergo, toddler patapum, sutemi or beco. A mei Tai might even work great for you. I would stick with one that would work for older/bigger babies/toddlers such as Babyhawks' Toddlerhawk, Kozy, Ball baby overall tall size.

Pax, loving wife since 2001, Mother of DD1 (12) and DD2 (8 1/2). Entering our 5th year of Homeschooling: Eclectic mix of curriculum and child interest lead. Backyard urban chicken chasers.
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#6 of 36 Old 02-12-2008, 02:40 PM
 
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She is not too old to be carried, but as other posters have mentioned, you probably need a two-shoulder carrier at this point. The ring sling may still be useful if she is up and down a lot, but to carry her for an extended amount of time, a soft-structured carrier or mei tai would work better. Even though he loves to walk now, I still sometimes carry my 35 pound 2 1/2 year old son, usually in a Toddler Patapum. Incidentally, he has actually outgrown his stroller by height, so that isn't an option for us anyway, even if he were to agree to sit in it.
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#7 of 36 Old 02-12-2008, 02:52 PM
 
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:

Something 2-shouldered will be much more comfortable for a heavy babe. Heck, DD is only 22lbs and if I'm going to be wearing her for a longer time (and standing up or walking the whole time) I'll reach for the wrap or MT before the pouch or RS every time.

Heather, mom to Caileigh 12/06 and aspie ADHD prodigy David 05/98 :intact lact
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#8 of 36 Old 02-12-2008, 02:55 PM
 
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There are many times when my 3.5 yr old ds still wants the closeness of being held. Last night I had him in the Mei Tai for an hour while I cleaned the house. He had a bummy tummy and I had a million and one things to do. We both benefited.
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#9 of 36 Old 02-12-2008, 07:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks mamas! I have never even heard of a lot of these carriers but I will look into them. With the two shouldered ones is it relatively easy to get your child in and out? Sometimes dd wants up, then down, then up again and then..you get the idea.

This is a great help!

Single Mama to my sweet boo.
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#10 of 36 Old 02-12-2008, 09:05 PM
 
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I really like a good supportive ring sling for my ds for those finicky babywearing moments. He's just over 2 and is about 32#.

If you have an active lifestyle, I find a good ssc (soft structured carrier) to be $ well spent because we can go hiking, go to outdoor events where the venue is too large for a toddler to walk through it. And I hate lugging around strollers. Oh, and also you can go through airports quickly with a toddler on your back. The possibilities are still endless at this age.

My MIL takes jabs at me all the time. Just this weekend, she said "no one carries toddlers like you do. They just put them in a stroller." Well, my ds was fast asleep at this huge boating store and all the onlookers were amazed! I walked up and down the stairs of this monstrous store without having to wait for the elevator and squeeze a stroller in there.

I'll stop before I write a book.
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#11 of 36 Old 02-13-2008, 12:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by cyberfish View Post
With the two shouldered ones is it relatively easy to get your child in and out?
I would love to know this too... we have never successfully used any sling/carrier, instead I've just grown Popeye arms. But DD is 18 months, growing bigger, and a two-shoulder carrier might help us both.

But - (as PP asked) which one has easy on/off?
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#12 of 36 Old 02-13-2008, 01:22 AM
 
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Well, it depends (of course lol)...

Wraps are harder to get on, well they're not HARD but there's a learning curve... but once they're on, you can keep them on and baby can easily pop in and out as required. (Depending on the particular hold -- the basic cross carries are very poppable, a back ruck carry isn't, but it is fast to do up a ruck once you've got the hang of it).


A mei tai is faster to put on, and can also be left on. It's a wee bit trickier to pop baby in and out, but it can certainly be done -- I find that, for front carries, if I tie it under DD's bum then it's easily poppable. If I tie behind her back, it isn't.

Back carries in a mei tai are not 'poppable' per se... I have, on a couple occasions, managed to just take the straps down off my shoulders to get her out, then put her back in and pull up the straps... but it wasn't easy. Usually I leave it tied around my waist and redo the top straps. But it's pretty quick.

Heather, mom to Caileigh 12/06 and aspie ADHD prodigy David 05/98 :intact lact
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#13 of 36 Old 02-14-2008, 05:46 PM
 
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For popability, I like my Ellaroo Mei Hip the best. That's what I wear if he's going to wanting up/ down a lot. (It is one shouldered, but it is MUCH more comfortable to me than a pouch or ring sling b/c it has a waist strap that takes a lot of the weight).

For longer treks, though, I prefer my Ball Baby Overall mei tai. I usually carry him on my back (now that he's over his back carrying strike! YAY!!!!) but sometimes he goes on my front. On the front, it's not a hard thing to pop him in and out.

PS -- I wore my six year old (heavy!) neice this summer in both those carriers! She looked a little silly, but it was definitely doable! (My mom also said, "She's too old!" and was disaproving, but seriously? My neice asked, and I thought it would be fun! And it was! She enjoyed herself immensely.)
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#14 of 36 Old 02-14-2008, 06:44 PM
 
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She's too old to be carried when you start having physical signs. For some of us, that's when the baby is under a year. It just depends on how much you can carry.

If you are having back pain long after you have put her down, then she's too old.

It's important to hold our kids, but I PROMISE you, your health is more important. I learned the hard way, to listen to my pain.

BUT, when I was younger, I carried my dd til she was over three years old.

But, JUST because she is 2, or 3, isn't a good enough reason.
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#15 of 36 Old 02-14-2008, 08:28 PM
 
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Babyhawk even makes a toddlerhawk to carry bigger babies.

http://www.babyhawk.com/

Sarah knit.gif married to Micah, mama to dd1 (9), dd2 (7) and ds (2). We love to homeschool.gif h20homebirth.gif goorganic.jpgchicken3.gif
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#16 of 36 Old 02-14-2008, 10:27 PM
 
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Mei tais and soft-structured carriers (like Ergo and Beco) do fast and easy back carries, but it's not something you'll want to do if she's wanting up/down every 2 minutes; that's when you're going to want to use the ring sling. But 15 minutes or more? Totally worth it, and soooooo much more comfortable.

And yes, I think it's totally worth investing in a two-shouldered carrier at this point, for your comfort and health. (And a pair of earplugs for when your mom starts talking! )
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#17 of 36 Old 02-14-2008, 10:48 PM
 
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I occasionally wear my almost 4 year old, 35 pound dd in a mei tai.

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#18 of 36 Old 02-14-2008, 11:16 PM
 
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Not too old and not too heavy

A really sturdy mei tai should be good for you. My DD is 28 lbs at 15 months, and I use a mei tai for hours every day. I would think a ring sling would be difficult at that weight for too long since it is all the weight on one shoulder.
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#19 of 36 Old 02-14-2008, 11:50 PM
 
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ERGO!

I carry my giant 3 1/2 year old son in the Ergo when we go on long hikes. He's 40 lbs and about 41 inches tall, I think, and I can carry him comfortably for an hour or two. (He usually hikes the first 1-2 hours, but we do long hikes.)

It really works!

Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
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#20 of 36 Old 02-15-2008, 10:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Arwyn View Post
And yes, I think it's totally worth investing in a two-shouldered carrier at this point, for your comfort and health. (And a pair of earplugs for when your mom starts talking! )

Hee hee. Yeah on the earplugs. I need those for the extended BF speech too but that's another day, another forum.

So....everyone this is great -- thank you! Now I find that I need to go on a trip through several major airports (Newark, LA, and Las Vegas . I just bought this:
http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/...tegoryId=86211 : but honestly it's also a function of getting the car seat through the airport, with or without dd in it.

I've only ever used a ring sling in the airport before so which of these is best for getting around easily, running for planes, and getting her in and out for security and all that jazz? I'm liking

"For popability, I like my Ellaroo Mei Hip the best. That's what I wear if he's going to wanting up/ down a lot. (It is one shouldered, but it is MUCH more comfortable to me than a pouch or ring sling b/c it has a waist strap that takes a lot of the weight). "

But can you get these quickly and/or readily? Thanks again!

Single Mama to my sweet boo.
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#21 of 36 Old 02-15-2008, 10:34 AM
 
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I go by weight... and how much my back can take . I have pretty big kids though.... so I never really thought about it. I mean you wouldn't want to be carrying around a teenager.
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#22 of 36 Old 02-15-2008, 11:28 AM
 
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Originally Posted by cyberfish View Post
http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/...tegoryId=86211 : but honestly it's also a function of getting the car seat through the airport, with or without dd in it.

!
I like that. Even if your dd isn't in it, (because she will be running like she was shot out of a cannon) You can put your stuff in it and pull the stuff.

I personally do better with a mei tai. But purely because I can't seem to learn the ergo without someone helping me. I like the way the Ergo looks better than the mei tai though.

Of my mei tais, I like the babyhawks best.
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#23 of 36 Old 02-15-2008, 12:08 PM
 
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You have to buy them online, as far as I know. I bought mine used from the fsot board of thebabywearer.com. But there are lots of good internet stores where you can buy them new, fast.

We have a backpack on wheels type thing for our car seat (for airports). I really wish I'd been able to get the one you linked to, because I think it would be easier, but the one we have was cheaper (and available at our BRU).
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#24 of 36 Old 02-15-2008, 11:55 PM
 
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mei tai are the best. I make my own now, so it fits me perfect.

and as for when a baby is too old to be carried.

I carried my little brother up to bed every night until he was 10 years old. because well, if felt good to carry him and you know, one night when I was home from university (and he was 14ish) he asked me and I carried him upstairs then too for old time sake. I missed him.

so you tell me when is a kid to old to be hugged, cuz what is carrying if its not a very long hug.
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#25 of 36 Old 02-16-2008, 10:46 AM
 
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so you tell me when is a kid to old to be hugged, cuz what is carrying if its not a very long hug.
I like that

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#26 of 36 Old 02-17-2008, 08:36 PM
 
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I wear my 7 1/2 month old all the time, many times concurrently with my almost 3 1/2 year old. If our family is on a long hike, dh may wear our almost 5 1/2 year old. A couple of weeks ago, I took the kids to a field trip. Ds2 was in the ring sling, dd was on my back in a Mei Tai, and I was holding ds1 on my hip so he could see. I was getting some strange looks.

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#27 of 36 Old 02-17-2008, 09:32 PM
 
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I was still occasionally using my Mayawrap to help hold DD on my back last summer when she turned 4.

For lots of up and down, I think the ring sling worked great. I got good at getting her up on my hip, sling under, and then around to my back. Sling down a bit more over my chest and well spread across my shoulder, and usually an arm behind my back under her butt to support her aws well.

And she was 10# at birth, 27 pounds at 1, hit 35 pounds by 2, and is currently a 40-some pound 4.5 yo. Who I still have to carry places sometimes.

savithny, 42 year old moderate mom to DS Primo (age 12) and DD Secunda (age 9).

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#28 of 36 Old 02-18-2008, 04:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by lilylove View Post
I like that
Nice

Quote:
Originally Posted by sandsprite
mei tai are the best. I make my own now, so it fits me perfect.
I'd love to be able to make a mei tai. Is it really as straightforward as it looks? I've sewn lots of advanced projects so I feel like I'm a bit handy with a sewing machine.

Thanks again everyone!

Single Mama to my sweet boo.
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#29 of 36 Old 02-18-2008, 05:00 PM
 
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Nice



I'd love to be able to make a mei tai. Is it really as straightforward as it looks? I've sewn lots of advanced projects so I feel like I'm a bit handy with a sewing machine.

Thanks again everyone!
yes it really is that easy. I would make one rough one with scrap fabric just so you can get the sizing right. I can make one in an afternoon.

you can pm if you want advice on how to do it.
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#30 of 36 Old 02-26-2008, 06:37 AM
 
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so I haven't read all the replies b/c I don't have time, but I think your mom's comments are funny--too BIG at 2.5?? Wow. I kept using my ring sling (sparingly, but it happened) w/ my dd1 until I was about 8m preg w/ dd2! There were just a few times that she needed it and it was easier for me! Like she's dead asleep in the car, but we need to get out and go in the store. Solution: put her in the sling! I knew people in there thought I was nuts. And she didn't stay in for long, but it was just long enough. I just love that thing!

And just today *I* initiated picking up and carrying my older dd b/c I MISS it! I'm always carrying the baby, it's just fun to be snuggly.

Just tune out your mom! Do what works for you!!!
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