I realize that it doesn't make a good impression, but they're putting my baby at risk. When I'm putting him on my back, I know what's going on. If someone else touches him or the carrier, I can't see that . . . I can't predict what will happen.
Also I was at a department store and the lady I checked out with seemed bent on having me use a cart or something. She kept saying that he looked "hot" and "uncomfortable". Then she handed me my large shopping bag and tried to convince me to leave it in the cart and go to the elevator . . . instead of walking on my own two feet, carrying my baby and my shopping (as I am fully capable of doing).
BUT I did get two college-aged girls to be totally impressed by a back carry with a MT in Walmart. They said "That was so cool!" over and over again.
There's good and there's bad.
P.S. UmmIbraham . . . if it wasn't for your defunct blog and the awesome stuff I read there (which led me to your actual blog, then TBW) . . . I might still be trying to wrestle my poor Bailey-boy into a front pack or something. Now I'm starting to teach babywearing, I'll be attending the conference, and I make MTs, onbu's, wraps . . . ^_^ Thanks.
I cary my 3 week old in a sling and everywhere I go people keep asking me why I'm carrying two purses. Then they are so amazed when I tell them a baby is in the sling.
I'm sure you're doing just fine, (and I'm probably making an fool of myself) but if your baby hangs like a purse, you should make sure to wear him or her higher and closer.
Some people are kind of freaked out about it. I was in the grocery store one day and a guy kind of peered over to see what I was carrying and just about freaked when he saw it was a baby- he shouted "theres a BABY in there!!!"
The most annoying thing is people asking (when I had my newborn son in the sling, sleeping as comfortable as ever) "isn't he squished in there?" (um, yes, and he likes it!) or, more annoyingly "can he breathe?" or the condescending "are you sure he can breathe OK in there?" No, you idiot! I want my baby to suffocate :
A woman in Wal Mart said this when she saw me turn around and realized my sling was for a BABY, not my ARM!
i like when people say that he looks comfy or happy, which is the comment that i get the most. A lot of people think it's really neat!
One woman said, "if i were you, i'd be afraid someone would come up and steal him!" off of my back!?!? he's freaking tied on!!
Occasionally someone thinks i'm going to drop him, or worse, tries to 'help' me put him on. silliness.
I also get asked if my baby is going to fall out of my moby wrap, or if she can breath in there.
Then of course there are all the people that try to warn me that once I start holding my babies they'll get used to security of it and expect me to always hold them. Um...thats the POINT!! I just smile and say that i like to hold them while they're little and I still can- most people can't come up with a good comeback and drop the subject.
-aren't you afraid of him falling out?
but more often then not i've heard really supportive comments or, like others have said, woah! there's a baby in there! lol
"Does that thing really work?!" (No, he falls out all the time)
"That must kill your back!" - (Yes of course, but I shall continue to do this inspite of this alleged back pain) This being said by a rather large man holding his 15lbs grandchild.. I'm about 100lbs and ds is almost 30 and everywhere I go he's in sling.
"He's never going to learn to walk"
"He's getting too big for that thing"
Also at the grocery store the bag boy said, "It's like you're a kangaroo!" He obviously thought the wrap was pretty cool.
I haven't gotten any even slightly negative comments yet. But tomorrow I'm going to a huge volleyball tournament in World Congress Center in downtown Atlanta. Tons of people from all over the region. If I'm going to get a rude comment I bet it will be there.
Kristy, wife to Josh proud mama to Katie: since 3/08 and Emma since 8/12.
Why it's always women...I don't know.
But this is why I always try to put ds up on my back in a more secluded spot or before doing so, look around to make sure no one is within running over distance.
But, like, wouldn't any semi-intelligent person realize that OK, this women is tossing her child on her back and using something to secure him/her up there, oh duh, they MUST know what they are doing!
Instead, the normal reaction is for people to freak out and assume you DON'T know what your doing!
I realise back carries are NOT the norm in this society, but still, are those who do them, obviously not all there and putting their child into danger.
This gets me really really :
Last weekend, I popped ds off my back at a little parklet to let him meader around and have some water then popped him back up, took all of 2 seconds to get him in and good and I STILL managed to get an oggling older women and her daughter who called over and asked whether I needed help.
I really wanted to scream, because duh, who the heck would pop their child on and off their back in public yet NEED HELP doing it? Um, no!
So as soon as I stood up, I gave them this like "uh, duh, NO!" look and shook my head and rolled my eyes and meandered off, I looked back and they were STILL standing there mouths agap.
Now, the ONLY random mamas who I will willing now and then accept help is someone who I assume is from either east Asia or somewhere in Africa. I know it's broad , but both Korea and Japan are babywearing nations and most of Africa is a babywearing continent so normally (not always) they know what they r doing. In those instances I DO NOT mind becos I know in those cultures they do help each other out to say, get their child adjusted right or in the proper position.
ne way I hope my vinegar'd post hasnt offended anyone, I just find those "helpful" people insanely and utterly annoying to deal with and I've given up trying to be sweet and kind to them. Becos for one, their rushing in is more often than not a bad thing.
Though, I will mention one thing, I've spoken to other bwing mamas I know and I do believe that overall I don't get as much of this stuff as say some of the others I know, and I base it on the fact that I wear a headscarf, so either it scares many would be helpers off OR people just assume I'm from a country where people do this stuff and just stare in disbelief.
"is that a baby in there"
"is it a REAL baby"
by an 8ish yr old boy on a ferry
"oh, its a baby i thought you were carying her(DD1's) doll"
"err, no its a baby, if DD wanted a doll carried she can carry her own doll"
"Oh, Look, A baby, is she ok in there, can she breath!"
"Ee, its a a baby i thought you were carrying a dog" WTH!
and lately as DD2 is 7 month old i have been carrying her on my back in an Ergo and i have gotten
"oh i didnt see her, is she ok, can she breath" 3 times in same HALF HOUR by 3 different women who ALL took it upon them sleves to CHECK under the sleep hood that DD was alive!!
that SAME DAY at the school yard i was asked by another mother
"how do you know she is OK in there?"
"i jsut replied that i can feel her breathing agains my back and that shes is not FLAT against me, there is a gap, i can fit my hand in there, i can feel her.
i also have been told i am "making a rod for your own back" by letting DD2 sleep in the ergo while i do house work etc as she will "be too attatched to you and wont sleep anywhere else, yeha i cant see me having to sling her in high school so she can go to sleep!!
my HV told me if slinging DD2 is what works for our family the so be it, and to ignore what others say about it.
And when I wear him on my back I get a few wierd comments. One that really sticks out is "You've got a growth on your back"
Sarah. Wife to Pearry, mama to Pearry II and Isabella Rose, born Breech at home and Benjamin, our January 1st bebe
Uhmm that is WHY she is on my back, she can walk. Has been running since she was 10 months old. I dont feel like a chase today.
"Can she get air?" (in a sling)
Oh no, I letting her die slowl but surly, the state jail has always been my idea of a good time.
"she has the best seat in the house"
Yes she does.
(in a sling)
" You know its really warm out today, perhaps you should uncover the baby a bit, its not good for them to get sweaty"
The person then moves the fabric from around the baby in the sling only to see my breast.
"oh, oh so sorry did not know you were nursing, So sorry. I guess you would want to be somewhat covered, so sorry"
In line at walmart I did have an amish woman tell me she was so glad I didn't carry my baby around 'in a pail'. I'm guessing she meant a carseat. It made me laugh.
|In line at walmart I did have an amish woman tell me she was so glad I didn't carry my baby around 'in a pail'. I'm guessing she meant a carseat. It made me laugh.|
I've only gotten nice comments. And I've never had anyone try to help me. Maybe it's the city I live in? It's the South, but people aren't that friendly.
I have had a lot of people look surprised, or ask where they could get one of those, or comment on never seeing anything like that and what a great idea it is. I once had someone ask me if I made my Moby.
The funniest comment was from an older couple standing in line behind me at the grocery. I was waiting for the cashier to check my items. Dd probably 5 months old at the time and in the Moby in a cradle carry. She was sleeping, but woke up and started to look around. The man in line behind me freaked out and yelled "Oh! It's alive - I thought you had a doll in there!! That's a real baby!!"
Happy wife and blessed mama to three sweet girlies
When my dd was 2, she was riding in her sling while we shopped when some old guy said, "put that baby down, she's too big to be carried! you need to let her walk!" *rolls eyes*
i had my new son in his sling, asleep and content, for a large festival the other day and my FIL quipped that he (baby) couldn't feel his legs. i think he was just being a smarta$$ though...
The only sort of negative comment I've gotten was from an older woman asking how she wasn't falling out (DD was in her Moby Wrap). I just pulled down the top layer of fabric and showed her how well-secured she was.
One guy did turn around in a grocery line, look, and say with disgust, "How uncomfortable!" Of course, my DD immediately started to squirm, but I did manage to shoot out, "Oh no, she LOVES it!" seconds before she did. I believe I had someone ask me if I was carrying a puppy once. When DD grew happy with her jogger and I started alternating it with the sling, I had several neighbors ask me which she preferred. If I went walking with my husband, several of my older neighbors would comment that the wrong person (me) was carrying the baby! My sister accused me of "always hiding her in there". : Whatever! My mom said, several times during DD's first year, "Oh, that won't last long!" in reference to my carrying her. Double eyeroll. Um, mom... I still sling her at 23 months old. :P
I have noticed that in the past 2 years or so I have seen MANY more people baby wearing, especially wraps, I am so excited to see this and my kids will point out others wearing their kids and make comments like " that baby is really lucky that someone is wearing them" My 8 yo dd still wears our youngest and he is getting big for me!
laura, dh Brian, ds Rory 14, dd Ellie 13, ds Caelan 11, ds Seamus 9, ds Finn 7 and Penelope 2 !!!!