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#1 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 12:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I took DD out shopping today for DN's birthday. I ended up going to an outdoor mall, and wore DD in my beautiful ring sling. I was in Carters Outlet, and one of the employees started fawning all over DD. Then she started saying things like, "your mommy doesn't want you to ever walk, does she? 'Cause you're not going to if she keeps you all wrapped up in that thing." and "Tell your mommy how squished you are!" Nevermind that DD was smiling and comfortable - obviously NOT squished. (And can I say how annoying it was to have a grown woman making comments about my parenting TO my child???)

Why is it that children worn in slings will never walk, yet children riding in strollers will? I have a Zippy that I've used a couple times when it was the better choice, and NO ONE has ever said anything about her never learning to walk. This is the 3rd time I've heard that she'll never learn if I keep carrying her in the sling. DH's grandma swears she will never learn to sit by herself. Do these people not realize that if this were true, a large portion of the world population would not be able to walk or sit up????

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#2 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 12:49 AM
 
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"ahhh, you're just mad 'cuz you wanna squeeze her and you can't get to her, aren't ya?"
(It's worked for me)
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#3 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 12:14 PM
 
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Usually no one makes any comments, or only positive ones, but yesterday at my doctor's office the medical assistant came rushing out from behind the counter to "help" me adjust DD in her sling because "she looks so squished!" Yeah, my beaming, gurgling baby is terribly uncomfortable and just very good at hiding it.

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#4 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 03:03 PM
 
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My favorites are "she looks so uncomfortable in that!" about my fast asleep infant and "can she breathe?" immediately after commenting on her cute little nose. If you can see the nose, she can breathe people!!

I get the "will never learn to walk" thing occasionally too. Funny thing, since my kid was holding most of her weight while standing at 8wks. She's VERY close to sitting unassisted at 3months. I'm not really sure how a stroller or just carrying her in arms would teach her to walk, I mean, until they really can walk, you have to carry them somehow!

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#5 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 03:06 PM
 
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I got "Can he breathe in there?" and I sassed back with, "No, I have to take him out once in a while and resuscitate him."

DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#6 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 08:45 PM
 
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I HATE when people make such ignorant comments. I never know how to respond to them afterwards. Then moments later I think of some snappy comeback but then it's too late. Oh well.
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#7 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 09:37 PM
 
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ugh I've gotten the "He looks so uncomfortable" and "He looks squished in there!" comments too. Um, I would only hope that he would somehow let me know if he were uncomfortable, as he DOES let me know at even the slightest discomfort and is very very picky about his comfort.

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#8 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 09:42 PM
 
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People are definitely funny. Yesterday I just got the "she may never learn to walk because you carry her around all the time." WHAT???!!! Weird. As for looking comfortable, in my experience babies generally let you know if they're uncomfortable!!! I don't think babies do "stoic"!!

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#9 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 09:44 PM
 
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Wait, what? You have a 3 month old and they are worried about her walking? I'd be tempted to say, "oh she can already walk, I'm just giving her a break." Silly questions deserve silly replies.

Robin, strong and happy single mama to Anna (7/06)
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#10 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 09:46 PM
 
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Oh...and my favorite while wearing DD in a sling was always, "they didn't have THOSE THINGS when my baby was young." Oh-kaaaay. I guess we'll just ignore that most of the world wears children in soft carriers?

I always just replied, "yeah, aren't they great?"

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#11 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 10:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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People are definitely funny. Yesterday I just got the "she may never learn to walk because you carry her around all the time." WHAT???!!! Weird. As for looking comfortable, in my experience babies generally let you know if they're uncomfortable!!! I don't think babies do "stoic"!!
LOL, DD definitely doesn't do "stoic"! She will let me know - loudly and abruptly - when she is uncomfortable! And, resting her head on my shoulder, patting my boob and "talking" () isn't how she lets me know she's uncomfortable!

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#12 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 10:22 PM
 
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Oh...and my favorite while wearing DD in a sling was always, "they didn't have THOSE THINGS when my baby was young." Oh-kaaaay. I guess we'll just ignore that most of the world wears children in soft carriers?

I always just replied, "yeah, aren't they great?"
Oh, I get that ALL THE TIME. Usually some variation of "oh the things you kids have nowadays....back when I had babies we didn't have things like that"

I should note I almost always am wearing a homemade woven wrap. IE a rectangle of cloth. I sooooo want to respond with "oh you didn't have FABRIC then?". But I'm too nice for that, so my response is the same as yours...

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#13 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 10:28 PM
 
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I get the "they didn't have those things when I was a momma" from older women in the grocery store when I use my sling. I also wrap DD in an Ellaroo and one vendor at the Farmers & Crafters Market seemed to think that it was too bad that DD's hands were 'trapped' under the wrap. Yeah, what a shame, you don't have to worry about her grabbing and breaking something that I'd then have to pay you for. And a few weeks ago, we were visiting my parents and DD was having a really hard time teething and the only way she would sleep was if I wrapped her. So I wore her tummy-to-tummy and then pulled one layer of cloth up to support her head effectively hiding her face. My mother was sure DD wasn't able to breathe through the cloth. I had to get kinda forceful saying that I've worn her like this for hours before and it obviously hadn't hurt her before. **And then like magic! She woke up and began breathing again! Amazing! **
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#14 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 10:41 PM
 
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Ok, I had some strange little man inform me that he spent time in Asia and Asian women carry their babies on their backs ( I had DD in an Ergo) and that is the reason so many Asians are bow-legged. No kidding. That was wrong on so many levels I just had to give him a "you are a dumba@#" look and walk away.
Another lady commmented to herself/her friends? that "that thing looks so uncomfortable" while I was in line to pay at a bookstore....my mom and the cashier both retorted at the same time "she looks pretty happy to me!":
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#15 of 40 Old 08-20-2008, 10:45 PM
 
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Time spent in a sling or carried close actually counts as tummy time. The motion stimulates the vestibular system, which helps develop their balance. Worn babies tend to sit up by themselves sooner, and may even crawl/walk sooner (like mine did).

And the squished comment? Just say, "Yeah, it's wonderful to be able to cuddle, isn't it?" or "Squished? Not any more than a hug! ^__^"
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#16 of 40 Old 08-21-2008, 01:30 AM
 
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Oh...and my favorite while wearing DD in a sling was always, "they didn't have THOSE THINGS when my baby was young." Oh-kaaaay. I guess we'll just ignore that most of the world wears children in soft carriers?

I always just replied, "yeah, aren't they great?"
I get this ALL the time. What, they didn't have fabric 30 years ago?

Trying to balance a preschooler and peace....
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#17 of 40 Old 08-21-2008, 01:36 AM
 
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Time spent in a sling or carried close actually counts as tummy time. The motion stimulates the vestibular system, which helps develop their balance. Worn babies tend to sit up by themselves sooner, and may even crawl/walk sooner (like mine did)."
I totally believe that being worn helps balance and core muscle strength. Mine spent a lot of time in a sling and all sat/crawled/walked by 12 mo (one at 8 mo!).

I'll have to memorize that line-- "the motion stimulates the vestibular system which helps develop their balance" sounds so much smarter than "sling babies aren't as floppy as stroller babies", lol!
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#18 of 40 Old 08-21-2008, 02:32 AM
 
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I totally believe that being worn helps balance and core muscle strength. Mine spent a lot of time in a sling and all sat/crawled/walked by 12 mo (one at 8 mo!).
I don't know about that... I've worn both my kids from the time they were born and both were late crawlers (11mo) and late walkers (14mo, 15mo). I think how "daring" they are also is a factor as both my girls are "cautious".

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#19 of 40 Old 08-21-2008, 10:33 AM
 
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I don't know about that... I've worn both my kids from the time they were born and both were late crawlers (11mo) and late walkers (14mo, 15mo). I think how "daring" they are also is a factor as both my girls are "cautious".
Yes , I do agree that personality is important, too. My girl who walked at 8 mo was the most "daring" of my three, as it happened, and my most "cautious" son walked latest of all of them. But I am sure, although I have no way to prove it, that if I had not slung my children, they would have sat/crawled/walked later than they did.

Wouldn't it be fun to give birth to identical twins and be able to do controlled experiments on issues like this though ?

(Well, no, of course if I had twins, I'd be wearing both of them...I wouldn't know HOW to raise a baby without wearing her!)
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#20 of 40 Old 08-21-2008, 10:37 AM
 
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My favourite... with dd on my back in a mei tai

mom: Doesn't she fall out of that????!?

me: um, no.

mom: Are you sure?

me: (with an amused chuckle) On second thought, you're right, she falls out all the time. Every day. Breaks her neck each time

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#21 of 40 Old 08-21-2008, 10:52 AM
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My favourite... with dd on my back in a mei tai

mom: Doesn't she fall out of that????!?

me: um, no.

mom: Are you sure?

me: (with an amused chuckle) On second thought, you're right, she falls out all the time. Every day. Breaks her neck each time
:

Too funny!
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#22 of 40 Old 08-22-2008, 12:47 AM
 
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I was wearing my son in a pouch last weekend while at an outdoor event. I overheard an older lady telling her pregnant daughter- "look at that, you should get one of those bags for your baby." The daughter replies "No way! I have to carry him in me for nine months I'm sure not going to carry him like that when he gets out!"

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#23 of 40 Old 08-22-2008, 12:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was wearing my son in a pouch last weekend while at an outdoor event. I overheard an older lady telling her pregnant daughter- "look at that, you should get one of those bags for your baby." The daughter replies "No way! I have to carry him in me for nine months I'm sure not going to carry him like that when he gets out!"
Wow ... that's really sad. She doesn't know what she'll be missing.

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#24 of 40 Old 09-03-2008, 10:35 AM
 
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Wow ... that's really sad. She doesn't know what she'll be missing.
no kidding .. not to mention what a way to think about your LO. poor kids going to grow up feeling all guilty b/c his mom had to carry him around for nine months and what an inconvience that was.
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#25 of 40 Old 09-03-2008, 10:48 PM
 
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no kidding .. not to mention what a way to think about your LO. poor kids going to grow up feeling all guilty b/c his mom had to carry him around for nine months and what an inconvience that was.
aww, I bet it was just the pg hormones, grumpiness talking.

Wait until the little peanut is born and wants Mommy to hold him/her all the time. She will complain about not being able to get anything done and it will come flashing back to her. She will call her Mom and they will go out in a frenzy asking stores if they carry those baby bags I can see it now...
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#26 of 40 Old 09-03-2008, 10:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DH's grandma swears she will never learn to sit by herself.
Update ... my 4mo DD sat up by herself this past weekend! She still falls over, but take that Grandma!!! :nana:

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#27 of 40 Old 09-06-2008, 06:13 PM
 
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Wait, what? You have a 3 month old and they are worried about her walking? I'd be tempted to say, "oh she can already walk, I'm just giving her a break." Silly questions deserve silly replies.

I like that!
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#28 of 40 Old 09-06-2008, 06:18 PM
 
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on several occasions people said to me "I guess carrying he rlike that is ok as long as she can breath." I always wanted to say "Really because I figured I might just let her suffocate but if you odn't think I should I won't..."

Mom to Iris and Henry
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#29 of 40 Old 09-06-2008, 06:28 PM
 
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Oh...and my favorite while wearing DD in a sling was always, "they didn't have THOSE THINGS when my baby was young." Oh-kaaaay. I guess we'll just ignore that most of the world wears children in soft carriers?

I always just replied, "yeah, aren't they great?"

What she means is "they didn't have readily available in this country/culture when my baby was young".

When my dd1 was a baby (she's 14), the only sling I could find was a snugli, others just weren't available. Admittedly, I wasn't as crunchy as now (ie. as educated), but I never saw other types of slings, either in stores or on people. Not until the last, say, 6-8 years have they become more visible.
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#30 of 40 Old 09-06-2008, 07:00 PM
 
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Irishmommy is right on the money. It's so easy now with the internet to get all sorts of info. I think we've kind of become insulated from how difficult info gathering was per-net. I know my Mom has become aware of A LOT of things since I had my girls that she never knew before. Her outlook on BF vs FF, babywearing, vaxing, etc have really changed. She's constantly saying, "We just didn't have that info around when you were little!" And you know what? They didn't! Or at least if they did it was much, much, much harder to come by. It's still impossible in our town to buy anything besides a Snugli at Walmart or a frame backpack at a sporting goods store.

I've gotten most of these comments, but after letting them annoy me for awhile I decided it would be much more productive to use them as educational opportunities. Replying with a smile & a sincere comment has gotten me much better results. No, it's not always appreciated (or believed), but so what? I tried. I move on.

I've also noticed that lots of the negative/odd comments I do get are from women my age or younger. Actually, when I've had my girls out in carriers older people are the MOST likely to make a comment to me like, "Oh, that looks so convenient." "You can still use your hands." "What a great way to keep them close while you're shopping." "Man, I wish they'd had those when my kids were little." That last one I ususally find to be a positive comment. Yeah, I know they're been around since the dawn of man, but most people don't mean that in a mean way. If anything it's kind of sad/pensive because they see the inherant coolness of the carrier & regret not having had that opportunity.
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