How Do YOU Respond To Breastfeeding Rudeness? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 04:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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In light of the 'discretion' posts of late, and the harassed poster of recent, I would really love to hear what YOU say, when someone has a comment about your NIP.

I have been left speechless myself, and would like to practice a few ideas for the future.

I think it would be great to have a thread of potential responses, since not all of us have dealt with this (but almost SURELY will at some point). Please forgive me if this has been 'done before'.

So, what's YOUR best line?
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#2 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 12:32 PM
 
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Depends what is said and who is saying it.

If it's at a family get together and one of the cousins, aunties or whatever says something I'll just say "Well, you know how a minute ago you were talking about how happy and healthy he is? Thats partly down to breastfeeding. If you're uncomfortable, dont look."

If its a stranger saying something like "I dont want to look at that" or words to that effect I would just say "Do you see that (pond/tree/whatever youre near at the time) over there? Why dont you look at that instead?"

xx
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#3 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 01:52 PM
 
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I'm usually to dense to notice anything. If it is someone saying something out of the blue (in other words, someone comes up randomly), I'll just respond with "this does not concern you."--basically, tell them to mind their own beeswax. If it is someone who I was conversing already, I'll just smile and continue the convo as if they had never said a thing about it, while little one is happily munching away. If they insist, well, no, I don't have a bottle with me and the convo is so interesting that I don't want to stop.
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#4 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 01:58 PM
 
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The one time someone was rude to me, I just pretended she didn't exist. I could tell it was very unsettling to her to be ignored, as she was a loudmouth who is probably accustomed to getting a lot of attention. She wanted drama and didn't get it. I love thinking about how totally freaked out she was by my complete lack of acknowledgement as she went on and on.

ETA: This was a stranger in public.

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#5 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 02:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sasharna View Post
The one time someone was rude to me, I just pretended she didn't exist. I could tell it was very unsettling to her to be ignored, as she was a loudmouth who is probably accustomed to getting a lot of attention. She wanted drama and didn't get it. I love thinking about how totally freaked out she was by my complete lack of acknowledgement as she went on and on.

ETA: This was a stranger in public.
Love it!

The one time anyone actually said something to me about breastfeeding in public...I was in the food court of MacArthur Center Mall in Norfolk nursing, iirc, DD#1 (who was about 10 mos at the time) when a security guard came up to me and said "You know, you can do that in the family room."

I just looked at her and said "Yes, and I can do it right here too."

There is nothing wrong with being left speechless, though. If you can manage the "My God, how have you managed to survive this long while being this stupid?" look at the same time, then you're all set! IMO, incredulous silence has its place. (Though I'd personally be hard put to not actually say "My God, how have you managed to survive this long while being this stupid?")

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#6 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 02:08 PM
 
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#7 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 07:19 PM
 
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Never had the opportunity because I've never been approached but I have my response ready. "This is how God intended for me to feed my baby. If you have a problem with it, you can take it up with God."
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#8 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 07:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Never had the opportunity because I've never been approached but I have my response ready. "This is how God intended for me to feed my baby. If you have a problem with it, you can take it up with God."
Oooh! That is GOOD; I'm going to keep that one handy, esp. for church (one place I have noticed some people *almost* make a comment).
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#9 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 08:36 PM
 
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I've always thought I'd ask why they were harassing me and would they please, PLEASE stop checking out my breasts because they were making me uncomfortable.

lizziemomofalmost4, that's excellent.

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#10 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 08:59 PM
 
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I haven't had any yet-but I'm an aggressive person and always have been. I'll tell them off, or depending on how polite they are, explain I'm doing what my baby needs.

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#11 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 09:46 PM
 
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I've always thought I'd ask why they were harassing me and would they please, PLEASE stop checking out my breasts because they were making me uncomfortable.

lizziemomofalmost4, that's excellent.
I love it! I'm going to start using that one. Tandem nursing in public really weirds people out so I get my share of rudeness. Doesn't everybody like boobs? And half of us have them so what exactly is so offensive?
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#12 of 13 Old 03-01-2009, 11:15 PM
 
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Lying awake the other night, I thought, if I were in restaurant and someone said, "You can't BF here." I would answer somewhat loudly, not obstrusively, but not quietly, "You mean my baby can't eat here?"

Mama to 2 year old and :: June 14th!
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#13 of 13 Old 03-02-2009, 04:42 AM
 
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The only comments I have gotten are from my Dad. : Things like "DO you have to do that here/now?" "Are you really going to do that?"

I simply respond with, "Yes." Then I go ahead with my nursing. Boy does that cheese him off.

I have gotten a little more defensive and aggressive with him when he tries to say something ridiculous, like "I don't think that young man needs to be exposed to that." The young man in question had no clue what was going on. And one time, "The lady over there is getting upset that you are doing that." Again, she seemed oblivious. Both times Dad got a nasty "Mind your own business." type response followed by a one line breast milk fact appropriate to the day.



When I am feeling a little uneasy about a situation I am about to nurse in, I usually rehearse what I would say if anyone says anything to me. My current favorite line is, "Are you always this rude to total strangers?" Another is, "Do you make it a habit to harass mothers and babies?"

I have found that looking around at the other people walking by or in the room tends to keep others from looking at you. Nobody likes to be caught staring, KWIM? Maybe this deflects rude people too.

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