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#1 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 01:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am new here, please forgive me if this is in the wrong forum. I am just at a loss for words and I am absolutely mortified.
Friday afternoon, CPS knocked on my door. Apparently I have been reported as being some kind of a lush who is on pain meds on a daily basis while breastfeeding, and my son is underweight and does not eat solid foods.
None of this is true, except the fact that my 2 year old son is still breastfed. He does eat solid foods all the time. He is in about the 30th percentile for weight, but his pediatrician is not overly concerned and no monitoring of his weight is needed.
I feel like I am being punished for breastfeeding my son.
Here is the situation. I am a mom to four great kids who have all been bf. On May 4 I was rear ended in my minivan. I had severe neck and back pain which had me in the ER on the 5th. I was given a prescription for vicodin. 20 pills. I only took these at night after my son was asleep. I no longer need them, so I am not taking them. My son sleeps through the night.
I am 32 years old and I do enjoy a glass of wine, or a mixed drink at night after the kids are in bed. This is not on a daily basis.
I am also a full time student, and a stay at home mom. I really would not be able to function if I was high on vicodin or drunk every night.
I have NO idea who would even think those things about me.
I was told by CPS that I would need to have a drug test. Of course I said no problem, as I am not on any drugs. I am now in the position of waiting for a random test which I hear will not be pleasant.
I am lost. I am just so scared and feel like I am so alone.
Has anyone else been through this?
Mom of 4
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#2 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 02:42 AM
 
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Originally Posted by BFmomtofour View Post
I am new here, please forgive me if this is in the wrong forum. I am just at a loss for words and I am absolutely mortified.
Friday afternoon, CPS knocked on my door. Apparently I have been reported as being some kind of a lush who is on pain meds on a daily basis while breastfeeding, and my son is underweight and does not eat solid foods.
None of this is true, except the fact that my 2 year old son is still breastfed. He does eat solid foods all the time. He is in about the 30th percentile for weight, but his pediatrician is not overly concerned and no monitoring of his weight is needed.
I feel like I am being punished for breastfeeding my son.
Here is the situation. I am a mom to four great kids who have all been bf. On May 4 I was rear ended in my minivan. I had severe neck and back pain which had me in the ER on the 5th. I was given a prescription for vicodin. 20 pills. I only took these at night after my son was asleep. I no longer need them, so I am not taking them. My son sleeps through the night.
I am 32 years old and I do enjoy a glass of wine, or a mixed drink at night after the kids are in bed. This is not on a daily basis.
I am also a full time student, and a stay at home mom. I really would not be able to function if I was high on vicodin or drunk every night.
I have NO idea who would even think those things about me.
I was told by CPS that I would need to have a drug test. Of course I said no problem, as I am not on any drugs. I am now in the position of waiting for a random test which I hear will not be pleasant.
I am lost. I am just so scared and feel like I am so alone.
Has anyone else been through this?
Mom of 4
No, I have never been through CPS accusations. I would get legal counsel asap!

Sorry you have to deal with this.
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#3 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 02:59 AM
 
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total nightmare
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#4 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 03:00 AM
 
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Why would they need to inforce random drug testing if you have provided proof that you have a RX and a doctors note? MANY women take Vicodin and breastfeed daily- I'm one of them. It seems that this CPS worker is not understanding the effects of medications and breastfeeding. I would suggest printing out Dr. Hale's info about vicodin (he is considered the foremost authority in medications for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers) HERE is a link to his site. http://neonatal.ttuhsc.edu/discus/me...tml?1232393554 (this is a vicodin specific entry) Vicodin is considedered a safe drug for breastfeeding mothers.

I would HIRE A LAWYER or find one that works with CPS cases ASAP. Check into http://www.fightcps.com This case is disturbing to me. It seems that the CPS worker is going overboard with the whole random drug testing. I would get some prepared statements from YOUR doctor, from you PEDIATRICIAN (including that the children have been seen, are well cared for, and are healthy, and when their last appt and next apt are). Hope you get this resolved ASAP- hang in there momma!

Married to Michael and Mother of Jake 9, Jillianne 7, Jensen 5, Jacen 4. I've got severe osteoporosis, a fractured hip and chronic pain-so please be patient with me! Pagan,Crocheter,Reader,Homeschooler- that's me in a nutshell.

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#5 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 03:02 AM
 
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I am so sorry. That sounds horrible. 30th percentile is normal- after all, SOMEONE has to be in the 30th percentile! Otherwise, how would the other bigger children get bumped up to the 50th and 90th percentiles? Of course your ped isn't worried.

No advice, just I agree that getting a lawyer and counsel would be a good idea.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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#6 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 09:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, everyone. I am still in shock. I had to sign forms to get my medical records from the dr. and when he asked who prescribed the vicodin, I pulled the bottle with my name, etc on it and read from the label because I was not familiar with the ER dr.'s name. So it's not like there is any doubt that I had a prescription.
I don't get it.
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#7 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 09:38 AM
 
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Yeah, this. Right now. This morning. Good luck to you!

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Originally Posted by yarngoddess View Post
Why would they need to inforce random drug testing if you have provided proof that you have a RX and a doctors note? MANY women take Vicodin and breastfeed daily- I'm one of them. It seems that this CPS worker is not understanding the effects of medications and breastfeeding. I would suggest printing out Dr. Hale's info about vicodin (he is considered the foremost authority in medications for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers) HERE is a link to his site. http://neonatal.ttuhsc.edu/discus/me...tml?1232393554 (this is a vicodin specific entry) Vicodin is considedered a safe drug for breastfeeding mothers.

I would HIRE A LAWYER or find one that works with CPS cases ASAP. Check into http://www.fightcps.com This case is disturbing to me. It seems that the CPS worker is going overboard with the whole random drug testing. I would get some prepared statements from YOUR doctor, from you PEDIATRICIAN (including that the children have been seen, are well cared for, and are healthy, and when their last appt and next apt are). Hope you get this resolved ASAP- hang in there momma!

"There is no belief, however foolish, that will not gather its faithful adherents who will defend it to the death." -Isaac Asimov read.gif

 
 
 
 

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#8 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 10:39 AM
 
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I am so sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you have a very busy life and this is probably *the last thing* you need right now.

I am a social worker. I have never worked for CPS. I would 2nd the idea of getting a lawyer. I would also request a meeting with the CPS worker and his/her supervisor. You should bring a friend or family member to help you advocate for yourself. Find out exactly what are the accusations against you and what you have to do to get CPS off your back. If what they're asking sounds reasonable, I would just do it to get them out of your life ASAP. I would also bring literature about BFing and pain meds and alcohol use for your worker and the supervisor.

It sounds like your case is still being "investigated" and has not yet been "substantiated." This is a good thing. You want the case to be closed without ever being substantiated. Also, find out why the Rx with your name on it is not enough proof that you were only taking the meds that were prescribed to you.

This is such a crappy situation and I'm so sorry it happened to you. The sad thing is, while CPS is wasting their time with you (who has done nothing wrong) there are kids out there who are really in danger that are not getting help.

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#9 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 10:47 AM
 
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if you do drop a UA for them, make sure you dont take anything. no cough med, no poppy seed muffins, etc. any false positive is going to make it worse. can you prove it was a poppy seed muffin? no. then how do i know that you werent doing herione? etc. i highly doubt they can lake you drop UAs for what they were inveestigating and I wouldnt do it without a court order.

Me,DH,DS1'95, '98,DSD'03,DD1'07,DD2'09,DS2'12 Living with Fructose Malabsorption Syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 3-Hypermobility.)o( and sometimes I get toif I am lucky.
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#10 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 10:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone. I am waiting on a call from my son's pediatrician. I know talking to her will calm my nerves a little bit.
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#11 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 10:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, I don't eat poppy seeds and I don't have a cold.
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#12 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 10:52 AM
 
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I'm so sorry you're going through this.
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#13 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 10:56 AM
 
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As pp's said, find a lawyer that specializes in cps/parental rights cases. Also, exercise your 4th amendment rights - do not let them into your home unless they have a warrant. It doesn't matter if you already have and it doesn't matter if they tell you that they are allowed to come in without one, they are not. All further communications with them should be done through your lawyer.

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#14 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 11:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks again. Unfortunately I don't have the money to hire an attorney.
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#15 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 11:29 AM
 
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Most communites have free or low-cost legal aid services. Look in the yellow pages and you'll probably find one.

Mom to retired nursling Lily (6/22/07) and wife to my wonderful DH since 3/19/05
Baby Aerick is here! Born at 40+6 on 5/16/10
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#16 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 12:26 PM
 
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BFmomtofour, have you cross-posted this story in your local "tribe"? (Go to the Finding Your Tribe forum, then look for your state on the list.) Mamas in your area might have helpful info on law and policy in your state. Others may have had similar experiences. They might be able to hook you up with some legal help too.

Good luck! You are in the right. CPS is in the wrong. Just try to keep that in mind.

Christine , wife of Ron , mama to Tony (4-25-03) and Maria (3-19-06) :
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#17 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 12:51 PM
 
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I also think taking breastfeeding literature with you would be a good idea. It sounds like the main issue here is that you've been accused of breastfeeding while on a pain meds or after drinking alcohol. Could you take information from Kellymom, Dr. Hale's book, LLL, Dr. Newman's research, etc. The social workers and judges may not understand what shows up in breastmilk, how much, how long until it's no longer present in the milk, or the safety ratings of breastfeeding on those substances.

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#18 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 01:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Exactly. I told the CPS guy that if I did have a drink it was at the end of the evening when the kids were in bed. Same goes with the vicodin. (and I am not even on that anymore)
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#19 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 01:37 PM
 
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Have you contacted your local LLL? I'm sorry you have to deal with this nonsense.

I don't come here anymore. MDC has become overgrown with ads & useless extra forums.
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#20 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 01:45 PM
 
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You've gotten a lot of good advice. Where is the dad?

hh2.gif

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#21 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 02:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My husband is just as shocked as I am about this situation.
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#22 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 02:23 PM
 
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Thanks again. Unfortunately I don't have the money to hire an attorney.
But can you afford to lose your kids?!

In this situation, I'd beg, borrow, and steal (ok, maybe not steal) to pay a lawyer. Credit card! I really hope it blows over for you but implore you to hire a good lawyer!

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#23 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 02:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just talked to my son's pediatrician and she has not yet been contacted about this. I told her what happened, and she is certain that this will be dropped. I have done nothing wrong. She said she would call me when she heard from the agency.
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#24 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 03:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma View Post
As pp's said, find a lawyer that specializes in cps/parental rights cases. Also, exercise your 4th amendment rights - do not let them into your home unless they have a warrant. It doesn't matter if you already have and it doesn't matter if they tell you that they are allowed to come in without one, they are not. All further communications with them should be done through your lawyer.
:

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Thanks again. Unfortunately I don't have the money to hire an attorney.
If it is between finding/borrowing the money and possibly losing your children...find the money, please.
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#25 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 03:11 PM
 
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Why would they need to inforce random drug testing if you have provided proof that you have a RX and a doctors note? MANY women take Vicodin and breastfeed daily- I'm one of them. It seems that this CPS worker is not understanding the effects of medications and breastfeeding. I would suggest printing out Dr. Hale's info about vicodin (he is considered the foremost authority in medications for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers) HERE is a link to his site. http://neonatal.ttuhsc.edu/discus/me...tml?1232393554 (this is a vicodin specific entry) Vicodin is considedered a safe drug for breastfeeding mothers.

I would HIRE A LAWYER or find one that works with CPS cases ASAP. Check into http://www.fightcps.com This case is disturbing to me. It seems that the CPS worker is going overboard with the whole random drug testing. I would get some prepared statements from YOUR doctor, from you PEDIATRICIAN (including that the children have been seen, are well cared for, and are healthy, and when their last appt and next apt are). Hope you get this resolved ASAP- hang in there momma!


This is great advice.
I couldn't read and not say anything. I feel for you. What a nightmare!
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#26 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 03:19 PM
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I think the attitude when anyone mentions CPS is a little alarmist. I'm not saying that there is no cause for concern or that atrocities to parents don't ever happen, merely that CPS is not always out to get you. This seems like an open and shut case to me. I don't think it's a simple as "If you don't hire a lawyer CPS will take your kids away."

I dealt with CPS over a claim that was highly exaggerated and mostly unfounded. It was no big deal. They never opened a case. I never hired a lawyer. Not saying it's this way for everyone, just that there is no reason to really flip out. You don't do drugs, you used a medication approved by the AAP responsibly. No one is going to take your kids away for having the occasional drink at night.

I agree though that CPS is going overboard with random drug testing.
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#27 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 03:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think the attitude when anyone mentions CPS is a little alarmist. I'm not saying that there is no cause for concern or that atrocities to parents don't ever happen, merely that CPS is not always out to get you. This seems like an open and shut case to me. I don't think it's a simple as "If you don't hire a lawyer CPS will take your kids away."

I dealt with CPS over a claim that was highly exaggerated and mostly unfounded. It was no big deal. They never opened a case. I never hired a lawyer. Not saying it's this way for everyone, just that there is no reason to really flip out. You don't do drugs, you used a medication approved by the AAP responsibly. No one is going to take your kids away for having the occasional drink at night.

I agree though that CPS is going overboard with random drug testing.
Thank you for this.
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#28 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 04:30 PM
 
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Quote:
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I think the attitude when anyone mentions CPS is a little alarmist. I'm not saying that there is no cause for concern or that atrocities to parents don't ever happen, merely that CPS is not always out to get you. This seems like an open and shut case to me. I don't think it's a simple as "If you don't hire a lawyer CPS will take your kids away."

I dealt with CPS over a claim that was highly exaggerated and mostly unfounded. It was no big deal. They never opened a case. I never hired a lawyer. Not saying it's this way for everyone, just that there is no reason to really flip out. You don't do drugs, you used a medication approved by the AAP responsibly. No one is going to take your kids away for having the occasional drink at night.

I agree though that CPS is going overboard with random drug testing.
:

Exactly. CPS (generally) is not going to swoop in and take your kids without some substantial reason. Foster placements do not grow on trees. I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions to this rule, but this has been my experience in 10 years of social work.

OP, I still think you need to call a meeting with these people and present them with factual information. It will put you on the offense, instead of the defense. Bring them a file folder full of BFing information. And take someone with you (besides DH) to help you advocate for yourselves. A friend, extended family member, or pastor that is calm and level-headed with help you stay calm and get all your questions answered.

Mom to retired nursling Lily (6/22/07) and wife to my wonderful DH since 3/19/05
Baby Aerick is here! Born at 40+6 on 5/16/10
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#29 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 05:45 PM
 
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you agreed to take the test (seems like if you were doing drugs you wouldn't have agreed so easily but who knows maybe it happens all the time) and when the test comes back drug free i am sure things will work out.

i know you are on the up and up but people abuse prescription meds all the time.. including ones that are prescribed to them. i am on adderall totally legally but i know that what you are going through could happen to me to so i really feel for you. having to take a drug test can feel really demeaning since you have the prescription, they know that, and yet still dont believe you. just remember that (as bizarre as this sounds) its not personal they probably drug test everyone who gets this kind of report even with a prescription.

dont let them get on you about breastfeeding the law, the science, etc. is totally on your side. stay confident and cooperative and be as prepared as possible. Keep them on track, this is about taking drugs while breast feeding not breast feeding in general. these are also drugs that are prescribed to you and considered safe while nursing. do not let anyone avoid those facts. the existence of your breast feeding relationship is NOT under investigation.
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#30 of 49 Old 05-18-2009, 06:39 PM
 
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We should not be punished for making well-researched lifestyle choices - for making the best choices we can for our kids. Yet, hanging around on MDC, I see that happening so often. I am dealing with something similar (around UC) at the moment, and would second what the PP have said about getting a lawyer. You will need one. It will be that much harder for CPS to walk all over you if you have someone to represent you.

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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