ANOTHER UPDATE post #30 "That's just trashy" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I was in Carters today wearing my Mei Tai and DS was hungry. I fed him. Nothing was showing, but the top of my breast was pushed up a little bit, less than most women wear everyday.

I was subtle, just shopping in a very clothing heavy section and two employees were talking near me. The one said to the other 'look over there' the women looked at me. They then laughed and one said said its ok the other responded, "there's a time and place for that. That's just trashy." The other women laughed and then they stopped talking because they saw me looking.

I'm so angry. There wasn't a manger there at the time. Should I write a letter? or even one to the cooperation? Honestly it took a lot for me to finish shopping. I wasn't going to leave because it made no difference to them if I purchased stuff or not and it was a really good sale.

I'm hurt. I don't think I'm trashy for tastefully breastfeeding in a CHILDRENS store.

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#2 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 06:20 PM
 
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I would write a letter. Did you catch their names or can you describe them? I'm sorry you had to be insulted by such a rude, thoughtless person.

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#3 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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People can be so ignorant these days!!! If it were me that this happened to I couldn't have kept quiet about it. Not that I would have punched 'em in the face but they definitely would have got an earful..But then again that's just me!
I would make a complaint though. Making a customer feel this way is not cool and you should def. take it up with the manager of the store and at least try and get them reprimanded so it (hopefully) doesn't happen to you or anyone else again.

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#4 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 09:37 PM
 
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Yes, write a letter, you would think people working in a CHILDREN'S store of all places would be supportive!! If you can't remember their names/what they looked like/etc. at least include the date & time of your visit, they can see who was on the schedule for that day.

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#5 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 10:04 PM
 
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wow, that's awful. I'd write a letter for sure sorry that happened to you, they should know better

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#6 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 10:08 PM
 
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Sorry that happened to you. BTDT. Do write a calm letter explaining the situation. Those girls need an education.

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#7 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 10:20 PM
 
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nak...with some of my breast pushed up a bit...take that carters...

i'm pissed to hear that. i like carter's & frequent there. granted, not all ee's may share that same opinion, but to be sure...you should follow up with management at that store AND higher up. make a big deal out of it so something is said to the ee's & they get the idea to keep their mouths shut next time.

i wonder...does it help to share the details with us so we can also email to say we are displeased? details like store location, date, time...

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#8 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 10:33 PM
 
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that's so annoying :-(....I always think of the perfect thing to say in situations like that AFTER I get home! Definitely write a letter...you can say exactly when you were there & they could pinpoint the employees.

I'm sorry you had to experience that

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#9 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 10:47 PM
 
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The employees didn't say anything TO you, you just overheard them having a conversation. You don't have to like what they say, but the have the right to say it, especially since they weren't addressing you. I think it is taking things too far to write a letter about this, you will look like a fanatic and no one will take you seriously. There is no law saying people have to approve of everything you do. Just as you have the right to BF your baby, others have the right to disapprove of it.

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#10 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 10:49 PM
 
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The employees didn't say anything TO you, you just overheard them having a conversation. You don't have to like what they say, but the have the right to say it, especially since they weren't addressing you. I think it is taking things too far to write a letter about this, you will look like a fanatic and no one will take you seriously. There is no law saying people have to approve of everything you do. Just as you have the right to BF your baby, others have the right to disapprove of it.
Store employees are acting as agents of the store. While they have the right to their opinion on their own time, they certainly should not be insulting customers on their employer's dime. Especially when it ends up costing them a sale.

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#11 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 10:52 PM
 
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I would write a letter and follow up with a phone call.

I politely disagree with pp about what employees have a right to say.

If I was a store manager, and an employee said, within earshot of a customer, "That woman is so fat," or "I can't stand to see gay people holding hands," or even "Did you see that ugly, trashy chick looking at the umbrellas?" I would want to know that my employees were being rude and driving away customers.
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#12 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 11:10 PM
 
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if it were other shoppers who made the comments i might agree. but ee's discussing a customer loud enough to be overheard seems wrong to me-or at least certainly not something carter's teaches in their customer service orientation.

i'm not saying anyone should be formally disciplined-but from a customer service aspect, maybe it should be addressed.

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#13 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 11:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Stargate2008 View Post
The employees didn't say anything TO you, you just overheard them having a conversation. You don't have to like what they say, but the have the right to say it, especially since they weren't addressing you. I think it is taking things too far to write a letter about this, you will look like a fanatic and no one will take you seriously. There is no law saying people have to approve of everything you do. Just as you have the right to BF your baby, others have the right to disapprove of it.
They may have "rights" but as employees, they don't really, you know? There is no retail environment that's NOT going to frown on trash talking the customer, especially where they can HEAR you.

I am almost certain there was a manager there. You can't run a store without a manager. There may not have been one on the floor, or one might have stepped out for a break (retail lunch breaks are almost never longer than half an hour) or they may have decided to tell you that to avoid getting in trouble.

Write a letter or call. Sometimes people new to retail (or just sheltered in general) don't realize how many things might upset a potential customer. People make mistakes. It happens. But EVERYONE knows calling a customer "trashy" is just not smart and it's GOING to get you in trouble.
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#14 of 37 Old 05-29-2010, 11:20 PM
 
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The employees didn't say anything TO you, you just overheard them having a conversation. You don't have to like what they say, but the have the right to say it, especially since they weren't addressing you. I think it is taking things too far to write a letter about this, you will look like a fanatic and no one will take you seriously. There is no law saying people have to approve of everything you do. Just as you have the right to BF your baby, others have the right to disapprove of it.
It is called customer service. An important part of customer service is not to insult your customers and point and laugh at them .

The OP should write the letter about the way the store's employees treated her as a customer, and the employer can decide if they'd rather keep employees that offend their customers or the customers. Those employees may have the "right to their opinion" but expressing it in an inappropriate context may lead to unpleasant consequences.

Great customer service has its basis in good manners.

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#15 of 37 Old 05-30-2010, 12:26 AM
 
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i would call ad email their main hq. calling the store where everyone is buddy/buddy wont get anything. making fun of cutomers is very unprofessional
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#16 of 37 Old 05-30-2010, 01:59 PM
 
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What employees do reflects on the company as a whole. Talking about customers is highly unprofessional and ESPECIALLY within earshot. Many companies would frown upon that even when the employees were not on work time.

It's not even about the breastfeeding. Talking in an insulting way about customers in the store is just wrong and definitely grounds for disciplinary action.
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#17 of 37 Old 05-30-2010, 02:07 PM
 
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Please write a letter or call.

If employees are talking rudely about customers on duty, within earshot of any customers it should be reported to management. That is no way to run a store. If a woman walked out of a dressing room trying on an outfit and an employee a bit away from her said to another employee "that is trashy" and other customers heard them---that would be bad enough!
If the store is empty/closed/breakroom etc it is still annoying to think that people are so mean, but yes, who would be there to hear it and be insulted?
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#18 of 37 Old 05-30-2010, 02:09 PM
 
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I would write a letter and follow up with a phone call.

I politely disagree with pp about what employees have a right to say.

If I was a store manager, and an employee said, within earshot of a customer, "That woman is so fat," or "I can't stand to see gay people holding hands," or even "Did you see that ugly, trashy chick looking at the umbrellas?" I would want to know that my employees were being rude and driving away customers.
Exactly!

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#19 of 37 Old 05-30-2010, 04:34 PM
 
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I would write a letter. That is terrible customer service, and I'm sure management would be happy to know about it. Like a pp said, I would sent the letter to national or regional headquarters, not the local store. If you want others to send letter too, I would gladly do it.

If you do send a letter, please let us know if they apologize to you. I shop at Carter's all the time, and I really want to make sure my money is being spent at a baby-friendly company.
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#20 of 37 Old 05-30-2010, 04:46 PM
 
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People can be so ignorant these days!!! If it were me that this happened to I couldn't have kept quiet about it. Not that I would have punched 'em in the face but they definitely would have got an earful..But then again that's just me!
I would make a complaint though. Making a customer feel this way is not cool and you should def. take it up with the manager of the store and at least try and get them reprimanded so it (hopefully) doesn't happen to you or anyone else again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stargate2008 View Post
The employees didn't say anything TO you, you just overheard them having a conversation. You don't have to like what they say, but the have the right to say it, especially since they weren't addressing you. I think it is taking things too far to write a letter about this, you will look like a fanatic and no one will take you seriously. There is no law saying people have to approve of everything you do. Just as you have the right to BF your baby, others have the right to disapprove of it.
it's one thing to not agree with someones choice to bf but to point and laugh and call someone trashy is quite another she has every right to write a letter of complaint.

op sorry you had to put up with that.

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#21 of 37 Old 05-31-2010, 11:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much for your responses. I understand that I can't expect everyone to agree or be educated about breastfeeding, but as representatives of a store for infants and toddlers I would expect to be treated with respect. Actually I think any store I went in to I should be treated with respect.

I am going to write a letter and call tomorrow. I'm going to post a sample letter. Please tell me what you think and if there is anything I should add.

To whom it may concern
I am writing this letter in reference to an incident that occurred at a Carters for Kids store located in the Franklin Mills Mall on May 29th around 3:30pm. I was shopping with my infant son in a Mei Tai carrier, facing me. He became hungry and I proceed to set him up to breastfeed. With this carrier I am able to breastfeed discreetly and hands free. I continued to shop. I noticed some employees near where I was looking. I noted they were employees because they had been discussing how many items of clothing had to be put away after being left up front and one of them said had she had not yet had to work a night shift. Then one of the employees pointed at me and said to the other women something along the lines of "Did you see her?" the other employee looked then looked away and said "Oh. I guess that's ok." The first employee then said, "There is a time and place for that. That's just trashy." The other employee then laughed and nodded in agreement.

I do not think it is alright for customers to be called names. Nor did I expect for a store that caters towards infants and toddlers to be intolerant of discrete breastfeeding. I have shopped at Carters for almost 90% of my son's clothing up until now and have not had an issue before. I had come to love Carters for their quality clothing and fantastic sales. If this is representative of how your company treats its customer and your company's position on breastfeeding then you will lose my patronage.

Sincerely

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#22 of 37 Old 05-31-2010, 11:23 PM
 
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Sorry that happened to you!

I like your letter and hope you send it.

I am just wondering, and maybe I don't know the word you used in this context, but did you mean to write "lose my patronage" at the end of the letter?
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#23 of 37 Old 05-31-2010, 11:29 PM
 
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I would find the store managers name and address it to him/her with a copy of the letter going to corporate.
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#24 of 37 Old 06-01-2010, 03:28 AM
 
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i'd drop the 'discreet' from the 2n d para as it allows them to judge Mamas. good for you for writing!!!
\
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#25 of 37 Old 06-01-2010, 12:57 PM
 
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i'd drop the 'discreet' from the 2n d para as it allows them to judge Mamas. good for you for writing!!!
\
nak
I agree with this. Also, 'alright' needs to be 'all right.' Other than that, great letter.
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#26 of 37 Old 06-01-2010, 01:09 PM
 
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You go mama! Send that letter! I'm so glad you're letting them know that was not ok. You could also post a review of the store on Yelp too if you're so inclined

Please update when you get a response.

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#27 of 37 Old 06-01-2010, 02:45 PM
 
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I agree to drop the 'discreet', otherwise, great letter, and when you address it to the manager make it obvious that it's also going to corporate (add cc: Carter's Headquarters or something like that)


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#28 of 37 Old 06-02-2010, 09:02 AM
 
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Good for you for writing that letter!

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#29 of 37 Old 06-03-2010, 03:55 PM
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Good for you, mama! I'm guessing that Carter's will be glad that you are letting them know about this, because store managers generally DO want to know if their employees are not doing their jobs as well as they should be!
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#30 of 37 Old 06-04-2010, 01:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, the letters have been sent( with recommended changes), but not before I called the store to find out the managers name. He was kinda...uncomfortable and didn't know how to respond, But gave me the regional managers CELL phone number.

She was wonderful. She knew the employee I was probably talking about as she had just been hired. She was very upset and went on to tell me about how she breastfed her babies and how she had pumped at work and how wonderful it was and how rude people could be. She asked me to sent the letter and she would do what she could on her end, as well as go and talk to this employee herself, if the employee even remains employee at this point (due to other unprofessional things too.)

She was grateful that I called and said, "my god what if this had gone on and we didn't know"

So I think the response was great, The regional manger said in the six years she was worked with this manger he had never given out her cell phone, So I think they gave appropriate weight to the issue.

Thank you all so much for your input!

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