How do you bring up BF - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 07-20-2010, 12:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Or any parenting topic?

I just 5 minutes ago found out that a good friend got a BFP. We have never really talked much about kids/parenting before. I would like to offer help and information as much as I can but I don't want to come across as pushing her or demanding that she breastfeed.(BF may not be the only topic to come up but I'm sure it will be the same ideas).

I am 1 of only 2 in my family to ever breastfeed so I know she has little to no info from there. I don't know that she will even consider it unless someone plants the seed of thought.
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#2 of 11 Old 07-20-2010, 11:26 AM
 
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Give her the Dr. Sears pregnancy book ;o) It's a pretty none threatening way to introduce non-mainstream thought. I loved reading pregnancy books, even ones I did not agree with.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#3 of 11 Old 07-21-2010, 10:55 AM
 
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With people who are more like acquaintances than friends, I send them here to MDC, "Oh congratulations!!! Here's a great site I visit, has helped me sooo much with parenting!"

With someone closer (as it sounds like your friend is)... well.. Has she ever seen you BF? With my SIL I just outright asked (non-judgementally) if she was planning to BF or FF. I was surprised when she said she was reluctantly hoping to BF... so then I jumped in with support and facts and tips. I would just ask her (maybe not the minute the stick dries but in the coming weeks, as you talk about baby stuff, just ask!) and go from there. You could also just say something like, "I loved BF'ing, it was so convenient & so healthy for the baby & really helped us bond, do you want some info on BF'ing, or are you planning to FF?"

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#4 of 11 Old 07-21-2010, 11:06 AM
 
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I address breastfeeding like it's the assumed norm. I don't ask if someone plans to do it, I talk like they naturally would be doing it. Then if they say something to the contrary, I try to nicely offer my opinion and/or help.
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#5 of 11 Old 07-21-2010, 11:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness View Post
I address breastfeeding like it's the assumed norm. I don't ask if someone plans to do it, I talk like they naturally would be doing it. Then if they say something to the contrary, I try to nicely offer my opinion and/or help.

this. i act as if it doesn't occur to me that they wouldn't breastfeed.

D, wife to an awesome man, mommy to 2 awesome boys!!
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#6 of 11 Old 07-21-2010, 02:12 PM
 
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I just let the person know that if they would like to bf I'm here. I let "the person" know that it is a learned art and I can help. Or I know people that can.

I also let the woman know that there are doulas, midwives and other people to help during the journy to mothering.
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#7 of 11 Old 07-21-2010, 06:17 PM
 
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I am an obsessive compulsive researcher. I tend to tell people, "OOOH! You're pregnant!! Yay!!! I have done many thousands of hours of research around parenting stuff so if you want to take any short cuts on finding out information feel free to ask me about stuff. If I don't know off the top of my head I can find out very quickly." Then I let it go.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#8 of 11 Old 07-22-2010, 12:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness View Post
I address breastfeeding like it's the assumed norm. I don't ask if someone plans to do it, I talk like they naturally would be doing it. Then if they say something to the contrary, I try to nicely offer my opinion and/or help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DivineMrsM View Post
this. i act as if it doesn't occur to me that they wouldn't breastfeed.
I approach it the same way. It urks me so much that it is an assumed choice bcs really I feel you should assume you will breastfeed unless problems arrise and it becomes obvious that you can't. So I breastfeed and have been breastfeeding strait for 8 yrs so they all know that I breastfeed and I just make the assumption that they will be breastfeeding. "Congratulations that is so exciting if you have any birthing or parenting questions I would be very happy to answer or discuss them with you. When the baby is born I would be willing to help you with latch or breastfeeding if you want any help" or something like that. Just depends on the person, how well I know them, etc. Dh offered my assistance to a friend of his and his wife didn't call me but did some research and has decided to try breastfeeding and was originally planning to formula feed. I think dh made it sound so normal they though they would check it out. We will see how that goes.

nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#9 of 11 Old 07-23-2010, 03:27 PM
 
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I invite pregnant friends to go to a LLL meeting with me
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#10 of 11 Old 07-24-2010, 05:16 PM
 
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With my one friend who is expecting her first right now, she had asked me what my experience was. She's really interested in wanting to BF her baby. I told her that I would be available to help her and answer her questions once the baby's born. I got her a Brest Friend pillow for her shower gift since I found it worked really well for me.

Ryan 08-28-08  & Julianna 5-3-11
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#11 of 11 Old 07-25-2010, 03:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tinyactsofcharity View Post
I invite pregnant friends to go to a LLL meeting with me
Great idea

  reading.gif, mama to Amelie (May 2010), early loss (October 2011), and James (September 2012) vbac.gif

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