conflicted feelings about bf advocacy - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 08-03-2010, 02:04 PM - Thread Starter
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it's breastfeeding week. and i was considering tweeting/posting to facebook a link to "watch your language", because i whole-heartedly believe in the message and want to educate folks.
when i think about posting it, i also get strong reaction of guilt about the friends of mine who FF and may read it. i don't want them to feel that i'm judging them. i'm not judging, but i do feel regret for the lack of information and support many of them have received. they are good people and good parents who sadly fell prey to the booby traps.

has anyone come to peace with this feeling? i can't seem to wrap my brain around it.

Breastfeeding nerd. ttc #2!
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#2 of 6 Old 08-03-2010, 02:12 PM
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I know how you feel. I have many FB friends that are very mainstream. I look at it this way-if they are truly offended by something I post, and decide to take it personal, that's not my problem. On the other hand, if something I post gets even one parent to reconsider their practices, then I've accomplished something wonderful.

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#3 of 6 Old 08-03-2010, 02:36 PM
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i guess it depends where you want to focus your advocacy. The article has some intersting points-- my grandmother grew up in india at a time when bf was the norm. Artifical milks were considered inferior. Maybe one day we will get to a place where that is the case in the US as well.

However, I personally think the much larger problem is the boobytrap issue that you mentioned. Instead of sending a link on how ff is inferior, why not send an article on how to support a mom on her babymoon or How to support a mom nursing in public ir How to support a pumping mom in the workplace.

I don't think these would offend a ff mom, and I think it would really result in more effective advocacy.

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#4 of 6 Old 08-03-2010, 03:02 PM
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I posted this link, which leads the reader to click through to a free breastfeeding instructional video, to wish all my FB friends a happy WBW.

I personally think this is informative, celebratory and much less inflammatory in tone than the "Watch Your Language" article, so I feel that it is more suitable for my FB friends.

I used to be a lot more confrontational and moralistic about bfing, home birth, etc. but I found that it really put people off. I try to lead people to accessible information that won't make them feel bad about their previous choices. If they ask questions after that, I will give them stronger opinions
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#5 of 6 Old 08-03-2010, 10:23 PM
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I know what you mean, I have a SIL who I love very much and FF my niece from birth on my FB.

I like to post things that are fact and not opinion, like "Hey all, it's World Breastfeeding Week!" With a pic of my DS nursing

I'm not going to change my 'style' in fear of offending, but I try (I'm not perfect, but I do try!) not to offend people or enrage others. Honestly I do wish every baby was BFed, but I also don't care if I mother chooses to FF. It's out of my pay grade to worry about her motives, if they are "valid enough" and what I could have said differently to change her mind.

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#6 of 6 Old 08-03-2010, 11:17 PM - Thread Starter
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thanks ladies, your thoughts have been helpful. i ended up posting a link to the booby traps article (i love that one) and will post this link to a free breastfeeding class tomorrow.

providing resources seems like the best way to contribute to mamas being successful with bf'ing.

i'm very thankful for the nursing relationship i have with my dd. we worked *so hard* for it and it's the most rewarding and enjoyable part of being elise's mama. i wish every mom & baby could experience how wonderful bf'ing can be and i can't help but feel sad for the ones who don't.

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