Is there such a thing as too much exposure when it comes to NIP? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 107 Old 08-22-2010, 03:00 PM
 
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Any way that child and baby interact is just that, the way they interact. I do not wear a bra. When I go anywhere with my child, I wear a tank top and an open button down shirt. I have her in cradle position and pull the tank up. She is prone to popping off, pulling up my shirt to expose other breast (I do pull it back down, and try to keep mostly covered), she must have my other nipple in her hand. Also, my breasts are very prone to leaking even now when baby is almost 20 mo, so I have to put a rag in my shirt on other breast, then she does the switching thing... So I am sure people have seen my entire breast.
Honestly, I don't go out much, but I never hesitate to feed my baby and be an example whenever and wherever I can. I fed her at the skating rink, the day after the end of the school year. We took our homeschooled dd1 there for her bday, not knowing it was the busiest day of the year for the place. I got some looks. I was prepared for someone to say something. I am sure some prepubescent boys saw me, hopefully it will assist them in their choices after breeding.
It is not my problem that the human body makes them uncomfortable. It is my part in life to normalize breastfeeding for the sake of those that come after us. I also believe in open nudity, though I don't get to practice it. Europeans go topless all the time, yk?
I cringe when I see someone feeding bottles, but a breast makes me smile.

jeanine says it well. I am not uncomfortable at all. If anyone is, it is their hangup and it would help them to examine that and come to terms. Just like people that are afraid of spiders or heights... most likely it comes from not being breastfed as children (part of why men are so fascinated with breasts, from unfulfilled childhood needs), or strict religious beliefs... but we were all born naked, clothes are manmade, yk?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanine123 View Post
No.

It isn't mine or anyone else's place to determine what is and isn't the right amount of exposure. If the amount of breast that is exposed makes me uncomfortable then it is on me to figure out where that feeling is coming from and address it, not to force the other mom to adjust her level of comfort to accommodate mine.

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#62 of 107 Old 05-05-2011, 08:39 PM
 
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 I don't go whipping my entire shirt off to bare all while nursing DD-actually I try not to expose more than necessary for feeding, but that's just my own thing, just because my dd is hungry doesn't me I want to give John Q Public a free show. HOWEVER, as long that mama is comfortable nursing her baby I don't think anyone else has a right to interfere or try to force her into some arbitrarily imposed level of exposure just because they aren't comfortable. If they don't want to see it, they can choose not to look, or to leave if they feel it's interfering with their sensibilities to that level.

 

In short, some one else's discomfort is not every bf mama's problem or their responsibility to fix.


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#63 of 107 Old 05-11-2011, 12:41 PM
 
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Great thread.

 

I think one of my favorite quotes really applies to this topic:

 All legal and cultural disputes about women being pregnant or nursing at work, or nursing in public, derive from the fact that all workspace, all public space, in the West is defined in terms of the noncyclic male body. Women cannot “enter the workforce,” or “enter public life,” unless they agree to act as though their bodies were functionally male also.

— Monica Sjoo, from “The Great Cosmic Mother”

 

We are women, we have breasts, we use our breasts to feed our children and keep them healthy and alive.  So, no, I guess I don't think there is such a thing as too much exposure when breastfeeding (as long as that's all your doing...can't imagine there are too many exhibitionist breastfeeders though).  It took me awhile to get there, I remember feeling totally awkward NIP for the first time.  I was sure everyone was staring at me and being made uncomfortable (probably no one noticed, or cared).  

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#64 of 107 Old 05-13-2011, 09:33 PM
 
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I believe in topfreedom. Nobody goes around complaining about women showing their ankles these days; it's time the rest of these old-fashion sexist dress codes got abolished too. Women should be able to walk down the street, mow the lawn, feed babies, etc, without a shirt on at all, same as men can.

 

Now, seeing a topless woman in public would make me uncomfortable. But that's my problem. I'm not going to impugn on somebody else's personal freedoms just because of my own hangup. 

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#65 of 107 Old 05-15-2011, 12:44 PM
 
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I dont want to see men topless either lol


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Originally Posted by Jaxinator View Post

Oh my, that is a complicated question. It's opens things up for judgments on both sides (Not saying that anyone here is judging! Just saying in general)

Ideally IMO if men can be topless, so can women. I actually really hate seeing men topless, it makes me kind of uncomfortable. Women would too, but that very very rare for me to see. So I guess in my world ideally everyone's clothes would be on But yes, equality would be nice. In NYS I believe woman can be topless.

Side note:
"New York is the only state in the country where women can be topless legally, after a 1992 ruling in the state's highest court. That means any woman can walk around the city at any time with no shirt on."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/...#ixzz0wNYyRqT9



I guess my personal comfort level is baby's head/nursing shirt or whatever covers most things, but if there's a little bit more breast, or a flash of a nipple, not a big deal. But that's just me.
It's such a slippery slope, saying that women should be considerate of others. Some people don't want to see nipple, some don't want to see any breast, some don't want to even know a woman is breastfeeding,
so I think the laws are fine when they state that exposure from breastfeeding won't be considered lewd. Better to have "excessive exposure" legal than not even be able to nurse in public.

Personally, I'd be low-exposure I'll nurse in public, but no one is seeing my breasts.

hmm haven't read the whole thread but in Maine it is legal in some cities I believe for a woman to be completely topless...

I saw it on the local news when I was visiting my mom, a young woman was strolling around without a top with paint on her pointing out that legally she could do it. Her reason...She wanted people to know it was ok! She was one tough little cookiesmile.gif

Back to reading the thread.
 

 

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#67 of 107 Old 05-15-2011, 08:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanine123 View Post

No.

It isn't mine or anyone else's place to determine what is and isn't the right amount of exposure. If the amount of breast that is exposed makes me uncomfortable then it is on me to figure out where that feeling is coming from and address it, not to force the other mom to adjust her level of comfort to accommodate mine.


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#68 of 107 Old 05-24-2011, 10:25 AM
 
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I think that since keeping breasts covered is a cultural preference, it is our choice of whether or not to follow it.

 

And when we see a mom showing more than we would, we have to either trust that it is absolutely necessary (baby is having latching problems, mom chose not to buy or can't afford special nursing clothing, baby doesn't like a blanket or nursing cover) or that the mom comes from a different culture or subculture than we do that is a little more open about it.

 

I wear nursing friendly layered clothing 95% of the time, but sometimes that doesn't work out.


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#69 of 107 Old 05-24-2011, 05:00 PM
 
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Eh. I have seen what I consider to be “rude breastfeeding.” I don’t, really, think a mother has to bare her whole breast, leave the nipple exposed way before the baby is near it, do a wiggle thing in the air with said naked breast, not arrange herself or the baby at all so to minimize exposure after the latch, etc. (At four + months) If that is really the only way to nurse successfully, and I am not saying it is or isn’t, then purposefully choosing a café-facing chair at the bookstore across from about 15 men while wearing I dare you I DARE YOU to say anything and glaring at said men and Starbucks employees is maybe not the choice.

 

So, yeah, I think it was pretty rude and I think it was meant to be challenging and really was so unnecessary. There were chairs all over the place that were equally comfortable and less exposed if that kind of nursing behavior was required.

 

This was before I had kids and I was shocked because I come from breastfeeding culture where people nurse anywhere, everywhere but with more discretion. I don’t cover the baby’s head like my family but I do try to minimize exposure of my skin and activity. And I am fine with people who use far less discretion. But some people are really just trying to push buttons. I wish we lived in a culture that supported everyone and where the buttons were not there.

Eh. I have seen what I consider to be “rude breastfeeding.” I don’t, really, think a mother has to bare her whole breast, leave the nipple exposed way before the baby is near it, do a wiggle thing in the air with said naked breast, not arrange herself or the baby at all so to minimize exposure after the latch, etc. (At four + months) If that is really the only way to nurse successfully, and I am not saying it is or isn’t, then purposefully choosing a café-facing chair at the bookstore across from about 15 men while wearing I dare you I DARE YOU to say anything and glaring at said men and Starbucks employees is maybe not the choice.

 

So, yeah, I think it was pretty rude and I think it was meant to be challenging and really was so unnecessary. There were chairs all over the place that were equally comfortable and less exposed if that kind of nursing behavior was required.

 

This was before I had kids and I was shocked because I come from breastfeeding culture where people nurse anywhere, everywhere but with more discretion. I don’t cover the baby’s head like my family but I do try to minimize exposure of my skin and activity. And I am fine with people who use far less discretion. But some people are really just trying to push buttons. I wish we lived in a culture that supported everyone and where the buttons were not there.

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#70 of 107 Old 05-24-2011, 05:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

Eh. I have seen what I consider to be “rude breastfeeding.” I don’t, really, think a mother has to bare her whole breast, leave the nipple exposed way before the baby is near it, do a wiggle thing in the air with said naked breast, not arrange herself or the baby at all so to minimize exposure after the latch, etc. (At four + months) If that is really the only way to nurse successfully, and I am not saying it is or isn’t, then purposefully choosing a café-facing chair at the bookstore across from about 15 men while wearing I dare you I DARE YOU to say anything and glaring at said men and Starbucks employees is maybe not the choice.

 

So, yeah, I think it was pretty rude and I think it was meant to be challenging and really was so unnecessary. There were chairs all over the place that were equally comfortable and less exposed if that kind of nursing behavior was required.

 

This was before I had kids and I was shocked because I come from breastfeeding culture where people nurse anywhere, everywhere but with more discretion. I don’t cover the baby’s head like my family but I do try to minimize exposure of my skin and activity. And I am fine with people who use far less discretion. But some people are really just trying to push buttons. I wish we lived in a culture that supported everyone and where the buttons were not there.

Eh. I have seen what I consider to be “rude breastfeeding.” I don’t, really, think a mother has to bare her whole breast, leave the nipple exposed way before the baby is near it, do a wiggle thing in the air with said naked breast, not arrange herself or the baby at all so to minimize exposure after the latch, etc. (At four + months) If that is really the only way to nurse successfully, and I am not saying it is or isn’t, then purposefully choosing a café-facing chair at the bookstore across from about 15 men while wearing I dare you I DARE YOU to say anything and glaring at said men and Starbucks employees is maybe not the choice.

 

So, yeah, I think it was pretty rude and I think it was meant to be challenging and really was so unnecessary. There were chairs all over the place that were equally comfortable and less exposed if that kind of nursing behavior was required.

 

This was before I had kids and I was shocked because I come from breastfeeding culture where people nurse anywhere, everywhere but with more discretion. I don’t cover the baby’s head like my family but I do try to minimize exposure of my skin and activity. And I am fine with people who use far less discretion. But some people are really just trying to push buttons. I wish we lived in a culture that supported everyone and where the buttons were not there.


Yes, but so what? You know nothing about that mom. Maybe she could only breastfeed that way because her baby had issues and the "I dare you" face was because she was sick and tired of people staring at her. Maybe she was sick of sitting facing walls. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Who cares? If it makes you uncomfortable, just don't look. Why waste time judging her and trying to figure out if her reasons were good enough to pass some sort of invisible test where the answers change all the time?

And the bolded part seems rather contradictory to me. Unless you're a mind reader, you have no idea. I wish we lived in a culture that didn't assume a woman breastfeeding her baby was getting some sort of perverse pleasure in baring her breast to--gasp!-- 15 men.

FTR, I am extremely discreet and I do cover as I deem necessary. I don't give a rat's patootie how other mother's choose to breastfeed.

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#71 of 107 Old 05-25-2011, 07:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

Eh. I have seen what I consider to be “rude breastfeeding.” I don’t, really, think a mother has to bare her whole breast, leave the nipple exposed way before the baby is near it, do a wiggle thing in the air with said naked breast, not arrange herself or the baby at all so to minimize exposure after the latch, etc. (At four + months) If that is really the only way to nurse successfully, and I am not saying it is or isn’t, then purposefully choosing a café-facing chair at the bookstore across from about 15 men while wearing I dare you I DARE YOU to say anything and glaring at said men and Starbucks employees is maybe not the choice.

 

So, yeah, I think it was pretty rude and I think it was meant to be challenging and really was so unnecessary. There were chairs all over the place that were equally comfortable and less exposed if that kind of nursing behavior was required.

 

This was before I had kids and I was shocked because I come from breastfeeding culture where people nurse anywhere, everywhere but with more discretion. I don’t cover the baby’s head like my family but I do try to minimize exposure of my skin and activity. And I am fine with people who use far less discretion. But some people are really just trying to push buttons. I wish we lived in a culture that supported everyone and where the buttons were not there.

Eh. I have seen what I consider to be “rude breastfeeding.” I don’t, really, think a mother has to bare her whole breast, leave the nipple exposed way before the baby is near it, do a wiggle thing in the air with said naked breast, not arrange herself or the baby at all so to minimize exposure after the latch, etc. (At four + months) If that is really the only way to nurse successfully, and I am not saying it is or isn’t, then purposefully choosing a café-facing chair at the bookstore across from about 15 men while wearing I dare you I DARE YOU to say anything and glaring at said men and Starbucks employees is maybe not the choice.

 

So, yeah, I think it was pretty rude and I think it was meant to be challenging and really was so unnecessary. There were chairs all over the place that were equally comfortable and less exposed if that kind of nursing behavior was required.

 

This was before I had kids and I was shocked because I come from breastfeeding culture where people nurse anywhere, everywhere but with more discretion. I don’t cover the baby’s head like my family but I do try to minimize exposure of my skin and activity. And I am fine with people who use far less discretion. But some people are really just trying to push buttons. I wish we lived in a culture that supported everyone and where the buttons were not there.




Yes, but so what? You know nothing about that mom. Maybe she could only breastfeed that way because her baby had issues and the "I dare you" face was because she was sick and tired of people staring at her. Maybe she was sick of sitting facing walls. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Who cares? If it makes you uncomfortable, just don't look. Why waste time judging her and trying to figure out if her reasons were good enough to pass some sort of invisible test where the answers change all the time?

And the bolded part seems rather contradictory to me. Unless you're a mind reader, you have no idea. I wish we lived in a culture that didn't assume a woman breastfeeding her baby was getting some sort of perverse pleasure in baring her breast to--gasp!-- 15 men.

FTR, I am extremely discreet and I do cover as I deem necessary. I don't give a rat's patootie how other mother's choose to breastfeed.

 

 

Um, no. I know her fairly well. It was intentional. It was confrontational. It wasn't about feeding her infant. It was pointed. We were a party of five (My DH, her DH), we passed lots of fine spots, This spot was chosen, selected, and displayed for whatever reason. 

 

My point is that almost all women nurse to feed their infants and sometimes, rarely probably, there is something else. 

 

And no, I wouldn't tell her to cover up. But yes, there was something else going on and I don't think it was very nice. 
 

 

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#72 of 107 Old 05-26-2011, 12:17 PM
 
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I still don't get it.  Is showing that much skin okay as long as it's not intentional or confrontational?  Why does it matter the reason?  Being "indiscreet" by accident is okay, but not on purpose?  Incidentally, those who try to get BFing mothers to cover up and/or move usually use this same argument, that the mother was being exhibitionist on purpose in order to start an argument  or "make a statement" with employees and the general public.  I would be very careful before deciding that a nursing mother is being rude and challenging.


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It doesn't bother me at all when a mom has to nurse her baby in front of me, even if it means she is exposed quite a bit.  After all, that is what a breast was made for: for feeding a baby.  Two weeks ago, there  was a mexican lady on the transit bus who was exposed quite a bit while nursing her 1 year old, and no one bugged her at all, not even the bus driver.  She just sat there, nursing her child, and chatting with the other lady she was with. 

 

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#74 of 107 Old 05-26-2011, 02:35 PM
 
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I still don't get it.  Is showing that much skin okay as long as it's not intentional or confrontational?  Why does it matter the reason?  Being "indiscreet" by accident is okay, but not on purpose?  Incidentally, those who try to get BFing mothers to cover up and/or move usually use this same argument, that the mother was being exhibitionist on purpose in order to start an argument  or "make a statement" with employees and the general public.  I would be very careful before deciding that a nursing mother is being rude and challenging.


Yeah, that. Plus, I don't think there's a problem whatsoever with "making a statement" by exposing more skin that absolutely necessary. I don't think there's anything rude about it.
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Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

Eh. I have seen what I consider to be “rude breastfeeding.” I don’t, really, think a mother has to bare her whole breast, leave the nipple exposed way before the baby is near it, do a wiggle thing in the air with said naked breast, not arrange herself or the baby at all so to minimize exposure after the latch, etc. (At four + months) If that is really the only way to nurse successfully, and I am not saying it is or isn’t, then purposefully choosing a café-facing chair at the bookstore across from about 15 men while wearing I dare you I DARE YOU to say anything and glaring at said men and Starbucks employees is maybe not the choice.

 

So, yeah, I think it was pretty rude and I think it was meant to be challenging and really was so unnecessary. There were chairs all over the place that were equally comfortable and less exposed if that kind of nursing behavior was required.

 

This was before I had kids and I was shocked because I come from breastfeeding culture where people nurse anywhere, everywhere but with more discretion. I don’t cover the baby’s head like my family but I do try to minimize exposure of my skin and activity. And I am fine with people who use far less discretion. But some people are really just trying to push buttons. I wish we lived in a culture that supported everyone and where the buttons were not there.

Eh. I have seen what I consider to be “rude breastfeeding.” I don’t, really, think a mother has to bare her whole breast, leave the nipple exposed way before the baby is near it, do a wiggle thing in the air with said naked breast, not arrange herself or the baby at all so to minimize exposure after the latch, etc. (At four + months) If that is really the only way to nurse successfully, and I am not saying it is or isn’t, then purposefully choosing a café-facing chair at the bookstore across from about 15 men while wearing I dare you I DARE YOU to say anything and glaring at said men and Starbucks employees is maybe not the choice.

 

So, yeah, I think it was pretty rude and I think it was meant to be challenging and really was so unnecessary. There were chairs all over the place that were equally comfortable and less exposed if that kind of nursing behavior was required.

 

This was before I had kids and I was shocked because I come from breastfeeding culture where people nurse anywhere, everywhere but with more discretion. I don’t cover the baby’s head like my family but I do try to minimize exposure of my skin and activity. And I am fine with people who use far less discretion. But some people are really just trying to push buttons. I wish we lived in a culture that supported everyone and where the buttons were not there.



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post



 

Um, no. I know her fairly well. It was intentional. It was confrontational. It wasn't about feeding her infant. It was pointed. We were a party of five (My DH, her DH), we passed lots of fine spots, This spot was chosen, selected, and displayed for whatever reason. 

 

My point is that almost all women nurse to feed their infants and sometimes, rarely probably, there is something else. 

 

And no, I wouldn't tell her to cover up. But yes, there was something else going on and I don't think it was very nice. 
 

 



So it seems, then, that the rude part was her aggressive attitude, not what she was or wasn't exposing or where she was sitting, etc. How about just saying that this woman is a bit rude or obnoxious as a personality trait, but leave the breastfeeding out of it? If the exact same situation occured with a different person whose intentions you didn't know, would you have labeled it as rude? I've got to say, this post sounds like the same offensive, oppressive argument I've heard again and again - "if a women shows more skin than I think is appropriate while breastfeeding, she must be perverse, exhibitionist, bitchy, loose, etc." Can't we just support eachother already?? Aren't mothering and breastfeeding challenging enough without us judging each other??

 

If we don't like the way someone does something, whether it be breastfeeding, talking, walking...whatever...we have several choices. We could show empathy and be kind despite our differences, look away, or choose not to be around that person anymore. No need to get all worked up and offended.

 


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Well I have large breasts and you know what a lot of it is exposed but it's b/c they are large and I try my best to cover them but I will NOT go hide in a dang corner or a car and I will NOT use a cover like I am doing something indecent under there (besides what child lets you use a cover?). Even with my large breasts I show less cleavage than a woman at the beach! I have been so ashamed of myself lately because I have gotten a lot of really hurtful comments about this recently (especially since DD is getting older...) but come on it is biologically normal and what God or evolution or whatever you believe in clearly gave us the ability to do and it is the US mostly who made it such an uncomfortable thing. Wasn't it the formula companies who actually started all that shame in BFing?

 

Did you know even in modest countries where women can't even show there face or ankles they discretely BF without a cover? Freely! Without judgment!

 

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#77 of 107 Old 05-26-2011, 06:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rockycrop View Post

Great thread.

 

I think one of my favorite quotes really applies to this topic:

 All legal and cultural disputes about women being pregnant or nursing at work, or nursing in public, derive from the fact that all workspace, all public space, in the West is defined in terms of the noncyclic male body. Women cannot “enter the workforce,” or “enter public life,” unless they agree to act as though their bodies were functionally male also.

— Monica Sjoo, from “The Great Cosmic Mother”

 

We are women, we have breasts, we use our breasts to feed our children and keep them healthy and alive.  So, no, I guess I don't think there is such a thing as too much exposure when breastfeeding (as long as that's all your doing...can't imagine there are too many exhibitionist breastfeeders though).  It took me awhile to get there, I remember feeling totally awkward NIP for the first time.  I was sure everyone was staring at me and being made uncomfortable (probably no one noticed, or cared).  

 

That is a great quote! ITA, too!

 

I think this has been hinted at by other posters... I've had friends all over the spectrum of "exposure" during NIP & I just think it's SO not my place to judge. If I judge, just because I personally prefer to be more discreet, then there's nothing wrong with someone else judging me for not being discreet enough for their taste, & on & on until it's OK to judge for NIP period. I'm usually not one to go for the slippery slope argument, but I really see it that way. I mean, really, I could try to explain my preference for being discreet, but when I tease it out it's really not logical at all! Best just not to judge in the first place.
 

ETA: Also, why does a woman who is "over" exposing have to be doing so on purpose or to make a point? Could it be that she just doesn't care... and neither should the rest of us!


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#78 of 107 Old 05-27-2011, 02:58 AM
 
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Eh. I have seen what I consider to be “rude breastfeeding.” I don’t, really, think a mother has to bare her whole breast, leave the nipple exposed way before the baby is near it, do a wiggle thing in the air with said naked breast, not arrange herself or the baby at all so to minimize exposure after the latch, etc. (At four + months) If that is really the only way to nurse successfully, and I am not saying it is or isn’t, then purposefully choosing a café-facing chair at the bookstore across from about 15 men while wearing I dare you I DARE YOU to say anything and glaring at said men and Starbucks employees is maybe not the choice.

 

So, yeah, I think it was pretty rude and I think it was meant to be challenging and really was so unnecessary. There were chairs all over the place that were equally comfortable and less exposed if that kind of nursing behavior was required.

 

This was before I had kids and I was shocked because I come from breastfeeding culture where people nurse anywhere, everywhere but with more discretion. I don’t cover the baby’s head like my family but I do try to minimize exposure of my skin and activity. And I am fine with people who use far less discretion. But some people are really just trying to push buttons. I wish we lived in a culture that supported everyone and where the buttons were not there.

Eh. I have seen what I consider to be “rude breastfeeding.” I don’t, really, think a mother has to bare her whole breast, leave the nipple exposed way before the baby is near it, do a wiggle thing in the air with said naked breast, not arrange herself or the baby at all so to minimize exposure after the latch, etc. (At four + months) If that is really the only way to nurse successfully, and I am not saying it is or isn’t, then purposefully choosing a café-facing chair at the bookstore across from about 15 men while wearing I dare you I DARE YOU to say anything and glaring at said men and Starbucks employees is maybe not the choice.

 

So, yeah, I think it was pretty rude and I think it was meant to be challenging and really was so unnecessary. There were chairs all over the place that were equally comfortable and less exposed if that kind of nursing behavior was required.

 

This was before I had kids and I was shocked because I come from breastfeeding culture where people nurse anywhere, everywhere but with more discretion. I don’t cover the baby’s head like my family but I do try to minimize exposure of my skin and activity. And I am fine with people who use far less discretion. But some people are really just trying to push buttons. I wish we lived in a culture that supported everyone and where the buttons were not there.

 I frequently wear the "i dare you" expression too, because i'm not open to being messed with.  Our society doesn't like "aggressive" women, we must put on a pretty dress and shut up if we want to be judged feminine and attractive.  Yeah, no thanks.  I absolutely have an agenda and make a point about it when i choose to nurse in public.  The agenda is "i am nursing my baby" and the point is "i am not open to discussing your opinion of this!".  All those who object to seeing and want to say something also have an agenda and a point, i don't see why they are entitled but i am not.  I am coming down on the side of rational behaviour - feeding my human child human milk from the source.  They want me to hide this, or not do it, which is irrational since it potentially threatens the health of the child and therefore species.  I do not impinge on their right to look away/move, so they may not impinge on my right to feed my young.

 

But our society hates women.  It's very difficult not to judge and be catty.  And since one of the things society encourages in girls is fitting in and behaving culturally appropriately of course it's the women who bitch and complain and judge most.  They are all following the rules of how to be a good girl - make sure all the other girls are behaving as they should!  Look at the rubbish which gets into the news and newspapers about female celebrities - attacking the character of women based on their willingness or unwillingness to jump through ridiculous culturally imposed hoops is the national pastime!

 

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I think there is hypothetically such a thing as too much exposure when it comes to NIP. If the mother was completely nude, that would definitely be too much exposure. I've never seen it happen, but hypothetically it is possible.

 

As for the rest of it? Nah.

 

In my experience people will give you the evil eye if you are breastfeeding completely covered with the amount of skin showing between your neck and your ankles measured in millimeters, not inches. They will give you dirty looks if you are under a blanket, nursing cover, or sling. These same people will, oddly enough, not bat an eyelash at people wearing short low cut shirts that show lots of cleavage, and way more skin than the average nursing mom.

 

My personal preference is minimal skin exposure, NO heavy blankets or covers, maybe a sling. It's possible someone has caught a split-second glimpse of nipple, but they would have to have been staring very intently, and hopefully their momma taught them it's not polite to stare. In which case, they wouldn't have seen anything, and most likely wouldn't have any reason to get their panties all wadded up.

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#80 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 06:37 AM
 
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This is what I am saying too WTH are you looking? I have had a few woman say to me if I ever just whipped out my boob and started nursing in front of their husband/boyfriend they would flipped out. One woman said the literal words I would beat the F out of you. Then you say well WHY would he be looking? The excuse is "b/c he's a guy"

 

So the logic here is I should starve my child as to not offend a woman who's man would intentionally watch me nurse my child to try and get a glimpse of my breast b/c he's a man and that's what men do! Well my baby is a baby and that's what they do - nurse when they need it! If your husband is a PIG not my problem!


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#81 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 09:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by PatioGardener View Post

Short answer?

No.

She's feeding her child!

If she needs to uncover her breast to feed her child then so be it.


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#82 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 09:28 AM
 
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I always try to be mindful of other's comfort levels, so when I got out for an extended period of time I wear something I can nurse fairly discreetly in. I don't use a cover because LO won't stand it anymore. Most of the moms I know are a lot the same way, or try to continue using a cover and they sit there wrestling with the baby about it... lol :) I think she had a right to do it how she wanted but as for myself, I try to strike a balance..

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#83 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 11:21 AM
 
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I was thinking about this thread today b/c it is hot out. I am just wearing a nursing tank and I can't wear the "full sling" kind that have fabric on the top b/c my breasts are large and I get bra thong and look like a weirdo all day lol So I have to use the side sling ones. When I un-clip it to nurse DD my entire breast is exposed just like if I took my whole breast out. So clearly some people have an issue with that even here. I never thought anything about it b/c I am wearing a nursing tank top...that's what it is made for. Sure I could wear layers...but it's 85 degrees! I don't really see that as me being unreasonable and exposing myself or anything.


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#84 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 12:37 PM
 
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And this right here is why I'm coming to ******* to meet you.  You are so very awesome.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBecGo View Post



 I frequently wear the "i dare you" expression too, because i'm not open to being messed with.  Our society doesn't like "aggressive" women, we must put on a pretty dress and shut up if we want to be judged feminine and attractive.  Yeah, no thanks.  I absolutely have an agenda and make a point about it when i choose to nurse in public.  The agenda is "i am nursing my baby" and the point is "i am not open to discussing your opinion of this!".  All those who object to seeing and want to say something also have an agenda and a point, i don't see why they are entitled but i am not.  I am coming down on the side of rational behaviour - feeding my human child human milk from the source.  They want me to hide this, or not do it, which is irrational since it potentially threatens the health of the child and therefore species.  I do not impinge on their right to look away/move, so they may not impinge on my right to feed my young.

 

But our society hates women.  It's very difficult not to judge and be catty.  And since one of the things society encourages in girls is fitting in and behaving culturally appropriately of course it's the women who bitch and complain and judge most.  They are all following the rules of how to be a good girl - make sure all the other girls are behaving as they should!  Look at the rubbish which gets into the news and newspapers about female celebrities - attacking the character of women based on their willingness or unwillingness to jump through ridiculous culturally imposed hoops is the national pastime!

 



 


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#85 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 02:01 PM
 
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I still don't understand how people have no issue with males running around topless but are offended by breastfeeding. and I have smallish breasts but huge areolas (sp?) so they normally show . my dh had a problem about it in the beginning but got over it

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#86 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 03:12 PM
 
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I guess I'm still in the minority on this one.  I don't want other men seeing my breasts.  That doesn't make them pigs.  Why do some girls wear short shorts?  Because it gets them attention.  Many men look.  I don't believe they are all pigs. 

 

I have never been asked to stop nursing or move somewhere else in the 10 years I've been breast-feeding.  I know this has happened to other people.  Was it ever because you had your breast "out" or because whoever was uncomfortable with you breastfeeding period?  I have only seen breasts of someone nursing while at a LLL meeting or in someone's home. 

 

I guess I'm just trying to express that I feel there should be a compromise between "Oh no!  No one should ever see even a speck of flesh!" and letting it all hang out.

 

While I believe in a baby's right to eat first, I don't think that the thinking and courtesy should stop there.

 

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#87 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 03:35 PM
 
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Quote:
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I guess I'm still in the minority on this one.  I don't want other men seeing my breasts.


Well, that's great for you that you don't want people to see your breasts. You absolutely have the right to breastfeed in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Some of us don't care if people (male or female) see our breasts. I don't think those of us who don't think it's a big deal for other people to see our breasts should be expected to breastfeed using the same standards you do, or meeting the standards of random people who we happen to be near when we're out and about. It's not that I don't believe in "common courtesy" so much as I don't think common courtesy applies when it has anything to do with the exposure (or lack thereof) of my body. As in, the body that belongs to me, and no one else - I should be able to do with it as I please and not be held to different standards than other people simply because I have a vagina and not a penis.
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#88 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 03:36 PM
 
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Oh, and some women wear short shorts because they like wearing short shorts. Why is it the automatic assumption that they're doing it to get a certain type of attention?
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#89 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 05:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post

I guess I'm still in the minority on this one.  I don't want other men seeing my breasts.  That doesn't make them pigs.  Why do some girls wear short shorts?  Because it gets them attention.  Many men look.  I don't believe they are all pigs. 

 

I have never been asked to stop nursing or move somewhere else in the 10 years I've been breast-feeding.  I know this has happened to other people.  Was it ever because you had your breast "out" or because whoever was uncomfortable with you breastfeeding period?  I have only seen breasts of someone nursing while at a LLL meeting or in someone's home. 

 

I guess I'm just trying to express that I feel there should be a compromise between "Oh no!  No one should ever see even a speck of flesh!" and letting it all hang out.

 

While I believe in a baby's right to eat first, I don't think that the thinking and courtesy should stop there.

 

Let the tomatoes fly. tomato.gif

 

 


I wear short shorts because they're cooler and because they're more comfortable. Go figure. 

 

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#90 of 107 Old 05-28-2011, 05:26 PM
 
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Honestly, I'm not even sure what women wearing short shorts/desiring sexual attention in certain situations has to do with this discussion. a bit of a red herring, if you ask me, unless the suggestion is that women who "brazenly" breastfeed are looking for sexual attention? Because that idea is the sort of nonsense that makes breastfeeding difficult for many women.
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