Things NOT to say to your nurse. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 14 Old 09-18-2011, 06:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello!  I'm new to Mothering and so forgive me if I post this in the wrong forum, but I'm looking for some information.  I have an 18 month old toddler who is still breastfeeding and about 5 months ago I had a bit of a 'run-in' with a local public health nurse and I'm hoping it doesn't repeat itself.  I had brought my son in to her office for his 1 year innoculations (at this point he was 13 months) and during the 15 minute wait after the injection I breastfed him, which started a conversation about his food intake.  She asked how much solid food he was eating at this point, and I, maybe stupidly, told her that he had just started to eat solid foods at about 11 months old.  Up until 11 months, he was exclusively breastfed.  My husband and I were treated to a lecture on how we were starving our child of essential nutrients and so forth, and that children HAD to start solid food at 6 months.  I think at some point I tried to defend myself from her accusations that he was unhealthy by saying that she had just weighed and measured him and he was clearly hitting not only every physical but every developmental milestone, was not exhibiting any signs of hunger, and in fact seemed to be a very content baby.  I also mentioned that I HAD offered him, multiple times, baby food.  Homemade, store-bought organic, more solid, it didn't interest my son in the least.  At 13 months he was eating a very little bit, but certainly nothing like the amounts she recommended in the food guide she sent home with us!  In fact, at 18 months he still doesn't eat that much!  Now, we are first time parents so we did attempt the food guide, going out of our way to purchase what was on it and try and force our son to eat more, but after maybe two days I realized that this wasn't how I wanted mealtimes at our house to be, and I quit.  He is still a very healthy, happy little boy.  Much too active for his mama!  Now we are expecting #2 and part of me is terrified of confonting that nurse again.  My options are somewhat limited, but pretty much boil down to 1) Lie when she asks and assure her that #2 is eating so much strained peas I just couldn't believe it or 2) Tell the truth.  I want to opt for #2, but this time, I want info to back me up.  I won't be caught out again.  So, tell me, what can I show this woman, true, real, scientific fact, that will get her nose out of my cleavage and back to her job.

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#2 of 14 Old 09-18-2011, 06:21 PM
 
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So, tell me, what can I show this woman, true, real, scientific fact, that will get her nose out of my cleavage and back to her job.

LOL...sorry - no real info for you but i had to say - GREAT LINE!...i opt for lying to docs and nurses about what baby eats , where baby sleeps and what his political persuasion appears to be.    But my guess is Kellymom or Dr. Sears may have good info - which you can quote to this nosy nurse - about how all kids do this on their own timetable, and as long as they keep gaining and meeting milestones and appear happy there is NO reason to push this!  You might be surprised and your second might be a big eater at that age! 

 

 


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#3 of 14 Old 09-19-2011, 11:50 AM
 
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This link has supporting links to the WHO, UNICEF, and American, Australian, and Canadian authorities.

Why Delay Solids?

 

If you are planning on nursing while pregnant/tandem nursing, I'd come prepared with information supporting that as well.

Nursing During Pregnancy & Tandem Nursing


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#4 of 14 Old 09-27-2011, 08:41 AM
 
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my DS has had a few food sensitivities, and I went to a dietician to try to get help about what to eat on an elimination diet.  the dietician (who was no help whatsoever), was stunned that at 8 months my DS wasn't eating solids yet - like i was starving him.  she then went on to warn me that he is going to be a picky eater, and that once he turned one, my breast milk just really wasn't going to cut it any more.  she was very concerned that DS was allergic to dairy (where was he going to get his fat and calcium from?), and made me promise to ask my pedi about when i could reintroduce dairy, since it's sooo important for a one year old to drink cow's milk. she also noted that i may want to try formula.  seriously.

my pediatrician seemed to be on the same path, but i think that he has done a little brushing up on some facts, since he was much more supportive of me the last time i was in.  i left the appointment before delicately saying that "it's not like i'm not offering things, and i can't FORCE FEED him!". 

i agree with pp about those resources.  there are many women on this board who have EBF'd for much longer than a year. my DS is almost 11 months old, and has just started considering solids on a regular basis, but he still eats very little.  i'm not worried, and you shouldn't be either. it stinks when the "health professionals" are not informed and while they mean well, can actually do a lot of damage. I'm in the camp of just smiling and being honest - IMO the only way they are going to look into the subject, is to know that it exists - and see your child thriving!

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#5 of 14 Old 10-02-2011, 08:12 AM
 
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It sounds like you should read Baby-Led Weaning by Gill Rapley.  It's got plenty of good information and would be more in line with your philosophy of letting baby decide how much to eat and when.  

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#6 of 14 Old 10-02-2011, 10:03 AM
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I don't understand why so many health providers feel the need to give parenting advice. If the baby is healthy and normal, then obviously you're doing everything right. End of story. The nurse's job is to evaluate the child's health and rule out disease. If there is no disease, then no unsolicited advice is necessary.

 

Nurse: "How much solid food is your baby eating?"

Mama: "Why? Is something wrong?"

Nurse: "No, I just need to know how much solid food he's eating."

Mama: "Well, I don't measure it. He eats as much as he wants."

 

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#7 of 14 Old 10-03-2011, 01:59 PM
 
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I undertand why people here are going to be supportive of delayed solids as long as the child is doing well. There could be a problem that the doctor should have suggested to be checked out. Some children won't eat much because they have sensory issues. They don't like food in their mouth. The nipple feels fine but other things don't. The toddler will be doing okay and then milk isn't enough because of his size and needs or because mother isn't producing enough because of pregnancy or other issues. Then there can be a crisis. The child stops growing and is diagnosed at FTT.

 

Toddlers can be evaluated for sensitivity issues by occupational or physical therapists and they can help teach you what to do to get him to eat. You may need to feed him with your finger or special spoons. There is training for professionals like occupational therapists to help children that have sensory issues.

 

I think the nurse was wrong in the way that she treated you. Breastmilk is the best food. Current research is on the side of starting solids around 6 months and starting a variety of foods. It is better if certain foods are introduced before a year. Mothering Magazine has had some articles about this and there have been some recent large studies that you can find on the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) web site. Is the research right? Are they going to change their minds in 10 years?

 

 


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#8 of 14 Old 10-03-2011, 02:48 PM
 
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Sorry, not buying it that you have to start solids at 6 months and if baby has an issue with that seek OT. I am willing to bet that kids with sensory issues have already signaled their parents that they have sensory issues well before breastmilk is no longer enough, sometime after 12 months.

 

Neither one of my children really ate until 11 months, despite having lots of food offered from 6 months on. These 5 months were spent tasting, playing, learning to chew, learning to swallow, etc.. I was not one bit worried that they were going to starve, or that they would suddenly hit toddlerhood and be diagnosed with FTT.

 

I don't buy that it's better to start some foods before a year. Why? What's the logic here? I am under the impression that there are plenty of things to hold off on til after one year, to reduce the chance of allergies developing.

 

I have also been told through LLL that many food sensitive children naturally are late solid eaters, because they need more time for their gut to mature.


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#9 of 14 Old 10-04-2011, 04:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans View Post


 

 Current research is on the side of starting solids around 6 months and starting a variety of foods. It is better if certain foods are introduced before a year. Mothering Magazine has had some articles about this and there have been some recent large studies that you can find on the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) web site. Is the research right? Are they going to change their minds in 10 years?

 

 

Could you provide a source for this?
 

 


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#10 of 14 Old 10-04-2011, 04:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans View Post

I undertand why people here are going to be supportive of delayed solids as long as the child is doing well. There could be a problem that the doctor should have suggested to be checked out. Some children won't eat much because they have sensory issues. They don't like food in their mouth. The nipple feels fine but other things don't. The toddler will be doing okay and then milk isn't enough because of his size and needs or because mother isn't producing enough because of pregnancy or other issues. Then there can be a crisis. The child stops growing and is diagnosed at FTT.

 

Toddlers can be evaluated for sensitivity issues by occupational or physical therapists and they can help teach you what to do to get him to eat. You may need to feed him with your finger or special spoons. There is training for professionals like occupational therapists to help children that have sensory issues.

 

I think the nurse was wrong in the way that she treated you. Breastmilk is the best food. Current research is on the side of starting solids around 6 months and starting a variety of foods. It is better if certain foods are introduced before a year. Mothering Magazine has had some articles about this and there have been some recent large studies that you can find on the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) web site. Is the research right? Are they going to change their minds in 10 years?

 

 




That is a good point that we should all be on the look out for sensory issues as a reason for not wanting to eat solids, however that doesn't sound like the lecture OP got.  In terms of the research, there is something to be said for having an agreed upon time that it's acceptable to introduce solids, that doesn't mean that it's an all or nothing thing.  I'm willing to bet that there is a pretty broad standard deviation in terms of when the babies are "ready" to eat.  There is also a distinction between introducing food to babies, and them eating the food (and how much).

 

IME, it's pretty difficult to refuse a child food who is interested in it, and impossible to force a child to eat when they are not.  I would be willing to bet that it's much more common than we think for EBF babies to be "late" eaters.  I understand (and appreciate) the point about there being a potential for sensory issues, but for the most part, I think that there is an accepted age for introduction of solids, but, like every other milestone, there will be a wide range of normal.  I would also be interested to know if they distinguish between FF babies and BF babies, and those mothers who choose BLW and those who don't. 

 

Also, I feel like the "research" on things changes as much as I change my underwear - I'm  much more inclined to go with my gut!!


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#11 of 14 Old 10-04-2011, 06:12 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BabySmurf View Post






That is a good point that we should all be on the look out for sensory issues as a reason for not wanting to eat solids, however that doesn't sound like the lecture OP got.  In terms of the research, there is something to be said for having an agreed upon time that it's acceptable to introduce solids, that doesn't mean that it's an all or nothing thing.  I'm willing to bet that there is a pretty broad standard deviation in terms of when the babies are "ready" to eat.  There is also a distinction between introducing food to babies, and them eating the food (and how much).

 

IME, it's pretty difficult to refuse a child food who is interested in it, and impossible to force a child to eat when they are not.  I would be willing to bet that it's much more common than we think for EBF babies to be "late" eaters.  I understand (and appreciate) the point about there being a potential for sensory issues, but for the most part, I think that there is an accepted age for introduction of solids, but, like every other milestone, there will be a wide range of normal.  I would also be interested to know if they distinguish between FF babies and BF babies, and those mothers who choose BLW and those who don't. 

 

Also, I feel like the "research" on things changes as much as I change my underwear - I'm  much more inclined to go with my gut!!


Me too. I plan to introduce solids to this one as soon as he is interested. DD had some solids at 5 months, a little more at 6, stopped eating them at 8 and was pretty much ebf until 10 months. Then she ate everything, and still does.

I think you can start solids as early as 4 months, but they dont NEED them until 12+. Under one=just for fun.

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#12 of 14 Old 10-04-2011, 06:19 AM
 
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Sounds like, as far as things not to say to this nurse goes, "see you at the next visit" is that the top of the list! Ask around for someone more supportive of breastfeeding and switch to them. That is if you are allowed to switch, I'm not sure how your health care system works there.

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#13 of 14 Old 10-05-2011, 12:27 PM
 
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I did not imply that if you try and start solids at 6 months and the baby has an issue you should seek OT. This child is over 18 months.

 

 


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#14 of 14 Old 09-05-2012, 01:34 PM
 
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Quote:
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I did not imply that if you try and start solids at 6 months and the baby has an issue you should seek OT. This child is over 18 months.

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by amyfortherest View Post

She asked how much solid food he was eating at this point, and I, maybe stupidly, told her that he had just started to eat solid foods at about 11 months old.  Up until 11 months, he was exclusively breastfed.

 

 

It says in the post she started on solids at 11 months and is 18 months NOW, 5 months +/- after the incident.

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