I WILL say something to you. - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-07-2012, 07:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If I see you breastfeeding in public, you can bet I will say something to you. It will probably be something like, "Thank you for having the courage to nurse your baby/do what is best for your baby even in the face of opposition." I've been able to say this once to someone (a bit sad, though, that I've only had the opportunity ONE time). She was nursing in a Ross store, and was letting it all hang out, lol, which I'm fine with but don't have the courage to do myself. She said it wouldn't matter if someone complained because her mother owned the store. I've had one person say something nice to me, and I will forever remember it and will always think fondly of her.

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Old 02-07-2012, 11:58 PM
 
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I was just reading a couple of online articles about recent events in which breastfeeding mothers were asked to leave public places, etc, and I am absolutely shocked by the bigotry and idiocy of some of the commenters.   It's a breath of fresh air to come back here and read your post.  For crying out loud, what is wrong with people?  

 

I was talking to a woman in the grocery store today, and became aware (it was a brief conversation, so I became aware pretty much right away) that the baby in her carrier was nursing.  She was letting it all hang out, too.  I've breastfed my 3 kids (currently going strong with 7 mo DS) but I will admit that it's not the most comfortable thing for me to stand next to a stranger with her breast completely visible- so I get that argument.  But really, who cares?  There are so many things we see everyday that we're not totally comfortable with, and that fact alone doesn't make them wrong.  In retrospect I kinda wish I had said something to her, praised her for being confident enough to go about her day with her baby, feeding him where and when he needed it.  I know I'd be happy to have someone give me a thumbs up for it, too.  Too often, when people are obviously aware but give you no response either way, it's easy to imagine they disapprove.  I sure hope I didn't give her that impression.

 

Next time, I'll say something, too.


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Old 02-08-2012, 06:08 AM
 
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I try to smile if it "comes up".  I really would like to see breastfeeding as normal, not a special occasion.  But frankly, I usually smile at all babies. They are precious and lovable no matter what they eat.


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Old 02-25-2012, 12:42 PM
 
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JennyandDots--is your avatar photo of you and your baby? If so, who took it? It's so beautiful!

 

I try to make a point of saying something as well. Smiling is nice, and it definitely feels good to have the majority of people who look at you while NIP smile and go "Aww." I feel lucky to live in liberal SoCal where it seems to be much more widely accepted. But I've tried to get myself to actually come out and give the nursing mama verbal props, because I've had it happen to me and it was really empowering.


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Old 02-25-2012, 10:59 PM
 
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So far, the only person to say anything to me about NIP was a waiter who "awwww"d & proceeded to tell me about how his wife breastfed their four kids. It was my first time NIP... What a remarkable first experience.

Great idea, OP. I like the idea of encouraging mamas whenever we have the opportunity. If I ever see it, I'll say something, too. =)

Just a homegrown heretic hopelessly in love with her amazing DH, 2.5 year old Eli, and now expecting a new arrival April 2015.
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Old 02-26-2012, 02:53 AM
 
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I make eye contact, smile, nod at baby and say "GOOD for you!"

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Old 02-26-2012, 07:46 PM
 
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I had a woman give me the devil eye, and say something snide to me, and I just about to cry--and them some little old man came up to me and told me it was awesome some of us moms cared to do what was best regardless of what the dimwits though.. Then he winked at me and walked off. I wish I could go back and thank him for making my day. I decided to tell women good for you since then, but in nearly 2 years, I have not seen anyone nurse in public. :(

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Old 02-27-2012, 09:20 AM
 
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You've probably been around it, just haven't noticed it! I try to be reasonably discreet, though I'm not super uptight about it, and I think most people just don't realize what's going on once I've got him latched. =)

Just a homegrown heretic hopelessly in love with her amazing DH, 2.5 year old Eli, and now expecting a new arrival April 2015.
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Old 03-08-2012, 08:37 AM
 
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I don't make a big deal out of it because I am all about NORMALIZING, but, I do ALWAYS smile, and often if I have time will strike up a conversation or hook my own baby up too ;-)

 

I remember nursing my youngest at church and having a missionary (outgoing from our church who was home to raise money) comment how she breastfed twins and how lovely the experience was. Then another time a mom (older than me - she has like 15 kids or something, the oldest has a baby the same age as my youngest) sat next to me and started nursing her baby, then I nursed mine...her baby didn't seem interested in nursing - wanted to play...I always kind of felt like she did it just to makeme comfortable. Now I nurse in the front pew of church and nobody has said a word...though I doubt many notice either lol

 

I try to be descreet, but, youngest has a lot of issues with feeding, so I've been really letting it hang at my son's soccer practices (during cluster feed time) and nobody has said anything...in fact several people have smiled at me. I guess I am really blessed to live in an area where it's pretty normal to breastfeed though - a lot of people bottlefeed too, but, I rarely spend an entire day out without spotting at least one baby breastfeeding...granted I can't help but be nosy lol

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Old 03-12-2012, 08:35 AM
 
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I think I would be a bit taken aback if someone came up to pat me on the back for simply feeding my child, to be honest. I get the point of what you want to do, but would you do that to someone who was bottle feeding, too? IMO feeding your child is feeding your child and unless someone is stomping on my rights to do so, I would feel weird about someone commenting to me about it. 

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Old 03-15-2012, 11:31 AM
 
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Really funny...later the same day I posted, I was breastfeeding at my local Y and could feel the woman sitting near me staring, then I heard her get on her phone and call someone and tell them "I'm at the Y and a baby is near me and it is being breastfed!" She must have seen my face, because she promptly hung up and started a conversation with me about how great it was to see me BF in public, and she is worried not enough moms BF these days etc. etc...it made my day :-)

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Old 03-15-2012, 07:52 PM
 
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I am feeling especially grateful for people doing this right now. I have a four week old baby who I cannot figure out how to nurse in public without pulling down the top flap of a nursing tank; I feel like I am flashing everyone all the time. Today, I was sitting in the lobby of our local science museum nursing the baby with these giant crowds of teenagers walking by (not my first choice location!) when a mom with two school aged little girls smiled at me and gave me a big thumbs up; it really made my day.


Beth, SAHM to the little french goose, 6/17/09 and my little panda bear 2/6/12. I nursed with low supply, domperidone and a lact-aid for 18 months!
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Old 03-17-2012, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VegMamma View Post

I think I would be a bit taken aback if someone came up to pat me on the back for simply feeding my child, to be honest. I get the point of what you want to do, but would you do that to someone who was bottle feeding, too? IMO feeding your child is feeding your child and unless someone is stomping on my rights to do so, I would feel weird about someone commenting to me about it. 



I'm the OP, and I do understand your point. I'm not saying I'd make a big show of it. I might just smile at her or something. I hope one day our culture is accepting enough where it's just considered something normal, but until then, sometimes I just want to let a mother know that not everyone is staring at her in contempt.

 

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Old 03-17-2012, 05:31 PM
 
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People can be pretty conservative about NIP in my area, so I try to do or say something subtle to convey the.thumbs-up message without scaring off a mom who may feel inhibited. At the bookstore, for instance, I gave up my big comfy chair for a new mama trying to nurse on a wooden one. She looked nervous while fumbling awkwardly with her big nursing cover. So in this case, it was less about making a big congratulatory statement and more about quietly supporting her by normalizing what she was doing.. Sometimes just a mere smile can go miles in making a mama's day. But it's all about the situation and context. A less inhibited mom might enjoy more explicit support and some chatter about how you've btdt.

That said, I never know how to read those well-meaning strangers who offer me a "more private place.". Are they trying to be nice in presuming that that's what I want, or are they trying to tell me to get the hell away from them?.lol.gif Either way, I sweetly decline, but still....

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Old 03-20-2012, 01:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VegMamma View Post

I think I would be a bit taken aback if someone came up to pat me on the back for simply feeding my child, to be honest. I get the point of what you want to do, but would you do that to someone who was bottle feeding, too? IMO feeding your child is feeding your child and unless someone is stomping on my rights to do so, I would feel weird about someone commenting to me about it. 

i get what the OP is saying. the thing is breastfeeding isn't considered normal yet (again, still whatever you want to say here. lol) and so it is a big deal to see a mom out and about in the world feeding her baby from her breast. i wouldn't say anything to a mom with a bottle because bottles are everywhere and seeing a baby breastfeeding isn't as common. 

having been told to stop breastfeeding on more then one occasion in the 13 1/2 years i have been nursing i have to say those nods of support, those smiles and those kind words are amazingly helpful and supportive.


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