weird conversation with dh re: cows milk - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 17 Old 05-20-2004, 10:40 PM - Thread Starter
Banned
 
Messy Nessie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Playing on my peach tree, mom
Posts: 254
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
naking

okay, let me preface this by saying that my dh COMPLETELY supports my bf-ing relationship with our dd. he saved it several times when things got really tough and is a bf-ing advocate in his own right.

that said... we were talking the other day about clw and how he is totally in support of it. when i happened to mention that i didn't think we should ever offer dd cows milk. i have been off of cows milk since she was 8 weeks old b/c she has reflux and mspi. i drink rice milk and i REALLY enjoy it and said that i thought we'd give her that if she wanted milk after she weans.

my dh is a cows milk addict and we discussed the concerns about calcium, etc. and i explained how she could have cheese, yogurt, ice cream, etc. plus she could get calcium from green veggies. we talked about how humans are the only mammals who drink another species milk, etc. and he seemed to get it.

but then he brought up this weird argument that he is afraid that dd will be made fun of by her peers b/c she won't drink milk. huh? i said that lots of kids just don't like it, or are allergic and he claimed that when he was in school, those kids were picked on for being different.

now i think this is totally silly. i plan to raise dd with enough self-confidence that this won't be an issue... i told him that we could always buy a container of milk to keep in the fridge for when she has friends over. LOL. i really wasn't sure how to argue with him b/c it just seemed so silly.

i'm sure this is going to come up again in the future. do you have any suggestions? i have all the studies about milk, etc... and he gets that. but how to overcome the teasing concern?

sorry so long!!!
Messy Nessie is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 17 Old 05-20-2004, 11:14 PM
 
guestmama9924's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Conch Republic
Posts: 2,227
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
thats a pretty weak argument! My kids do not drink milk, and honestly, they are more likely to be made fun of because I don't give them soda!! At school, it is water or juice, and on cereal, rice or almond milk, and out to eat, water. I never see kids slurpin cow milk ( thankfully) and there are just too many reasons for a kid to avoid dairy. my fav anti-milk sites are at
and fromwww.milksucks.com
"Cow’s milk is the number one source of allergies in children, and research links consumption of dairy products, including cow’s milk, to colic (stomach cramps), autism, chronic ear infections, insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus (type 1 or "juvenile-onset" diabetes), acne, obesity, flatulence, constipation, mucus, and a variety of other ailments.

In his world-famous book Baby and Child Care, Dr. Benjamin Spock wrote, "I no longer recommend dairy products. … The essential fats that are needed for brain development are found in vegetable oils. Milk is very low in these essential fats and high in the saturated fats that encourage artery blockage and weight problems as children grow"
guestmama9924 is offline  
#3 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 09:53 AM
 
Sustainer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: upstate NY
Posts: 10,340
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree. That's a pretty superficial argument when it comes to an issue as important as what foods your child should or should not eat. An important decision of that nature should not be made on the basis of such a relatively insignificant concern.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

Sustainer is offline  
#4 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 10:23 AM
 
Tiacsophno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 234
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Was he picked on by other kids when he was little? What for?

When my DH says stuff like that (most recently about circumcision), it usually reflects more about his own childhood than about a well-thought-out concern. Talking it through helps us both.
Tiacsophno is offline  
#5 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 10:32 AM
 
Momtwice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 10,142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can I just say I feel your pain and I know *exactly* where you are coming from?

Have you heard the theory that cow's milk has feel good chemicals in it, that people actually suffer withdrawal from when they stop eating it?

"Because an entire generation of baby boomers has been raised on cow's milk instead of human milk, the cow at some deep level is now associated with "mother" and "nourishment."

Christiane Northrup, M.D., Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom.

"There is no reason to drink cow's milk at any time in your life. It was designed for calves, not for humans, and we should all stop drinking it today, this afternoon."

Frank Oski, M.D., former director of the pediatrics department at Johns Hopkins University med school, author of Don't Drink Your Milk.

"We cannot assume that high dairy consumption is safe."
"Rebuilding the Food Pyramid, Willett and Stampfer, Scientific American, January 2003
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...tific+american

Good articles:
http://www.findarticles.com/cf_dls/m...le.jhtml?term=
http://www.drjaygordon.com/pediatricks/dairy.htm

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
Momtwice is offline  
#6 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 12:27 PM
 
littleaugustbaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Yes, we did!
Posts: 7,032
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The other ladies have posted great info already. I just wanted to say that I've always hated cow's milk. When I was a kid, if I went to a friend's house and was given a glass of milk, I'd lie and say that I was allergic so that I wouldn't have to drink it. :LOL

I have never, ever been teased for not drinking milk, and can't remember any of my friends who were allergic or who didn't drink milk being teased for it.
littleaugustbaby is offline  
#7 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 12:34 PM
 
root*children's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: the South-East's Worst Kept Secret
Posts: 2,770
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Maybe it was cool when he was in school to drink milk. Nowadays it's not cool. I've never met a little kid who likes drinking milk. When I was in school, everyone HAD to drink milk if they bought a school lunch. Now kids have the choice of milk (inc. chocolate) and juice. IMO, most kids would just choose juice b/c it's so much sweeter. And lots more kids drink milk-alternatives nowadays than they did when your DH went to school. That's why they make the little juice-boxes of soy/rice milk, right?

Mama of 3 amazingly sweet kids jumpers.gif, living the dream on our urban farm chicken3.gif

root*children is offline  
#8 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 01:33 PM
 
captain optimism's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Good Ship Lollipop
Posts: 6,857
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)
Okay, well, let me ask you this: If you don't introduce cow's milk at weaning, what's to stop your dd from drinking it later, if she wants to do so (and it doesn't make her sick)? You know? Why worry about what the other kids will think about what she drank when she was a toddler?

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
captain optimism is online now  
#9 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 03:48 PM
 
katt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The Great NorthWest
Posts: 3,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
so many kids nowadays are drinking milk-alternatives: rice, soy, etc... that no-one will even blink an eye!
katt is offline  
#10 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 03:51 PM
 
BetsyPage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: In a thicket
Posts: 1,360
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I actually find this really interesting... I have a SIL who is very mainstream, only breastfed about 6 weeks (and not exclusively at that), didn't want to co-sleep, etc. For whatever reason, she hates milk and milk products, and her husband really didn't want their kids to be so "picky" so they really pushed milk. One of the biggest complaints I heard from them was that since their dd was 1 1/2 or so she would get them up at night crying for "milk! milk!"... I mean several times a night... sometimes she would wake up screaming. I can't help but thing how much easier their lives would have been if they had co-slept and she had breastfed... at least when their dd woke up they would have been in one bed, and no one would have had to get up, go downstairs, etc.

I find it interesting also that my neice seems addicted to milk- I mean, she drinks A LOT from what I could tell... I think obviously deriving some comfort from it.

An extrovert, married to my introverted dh since '01, mothering my girls C (2003) and G (2006).

 

Love homeschooling, reading, cooking (most of the time grain-free except for when I'm not ), lactivist, former and wanna-be cloth diaperer and baby-wearer...

BetsyPage is offline  
#11 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 05:02 PM
 
Evergreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Where all the women are strong
Posts: 5,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: I hated cow's milk as a child (still do) and nobody ever made fun of me!

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

Evergreen is offline  
#12 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 05:35 PM
 
Pynki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Inside the café au lait
Posts: 7,265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My ds doesn't drink milk.. He's really sensitive to dairy.. He takes juice boxes to school everyday.. Our school has lunch tickets, and milk tickets.. They aren't combined you buy them seperately, so we aren't even wasting money on school lunch (that for some reason he prefers) because he brings a 100% juice box everyday..

No one even says anything to him..

Our .02 having BTDT..

Warm Squishy Feelings..

Dyan

It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
Pynki is offline  
#13 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 06:59 PM
 
Meiri's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Murrysville, PA
Posts: 8,869
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
DS doesn't drink milk, never did at school, never got teased for it either.

"What will you do once you know?"
Meiri is offline  
#14 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 08:45 PM
 
abigailvr's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Our own house, finally!
Posts: 3,165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Messy Nessie
that said... we were talking the other day about clw and how he is totally in support of it. when i happened to mention that i didn't think we should ever offer dd cows milk. i have been off of cows milk since she was 8 weeks old b/c she has reflux and mspi.
T My son was recently diagnosed with MSPI too. I haven't had a chance to talk to the allergist about when he might outgrow it, but she didn't mention it at all. Do they outgrow it? If not, wouldn't she need to stay off milk for health reasons anyway?
abigailvr is offline  
#15 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 09:10 PM
 
rareimer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: bc, canada
Posts: 1,708
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BetsyPage
I find it interesting also that my neice seems addicted to milk- I mean, she drinks A LOT from what I could tell... I think obviously deriving some comfort from it.

my 5-year old nephew is like this. all he ever wants to drink is milk, and he doesn't like to eat either...but he ALWAYS wants milk, he's like obsessed with it. he was only breastfed for i think 6 months and has had a very traumatic family life, my SIL hardly ever sees him between being shipped off to his dads, his grandma's, his other grandma, etc...i think he derives some sort of comfort from milk, and the fact that he is not fed very nutritiously at home, he relies on it. which in turn is probably part of the reason that he's not very healthy.

Robyn - In stillheart.gif with Tyson, Gothy Mama to fairy.gif Jasmyn (March 12 2003), jammin.gifGrayson (August 2 2005), my angel3.gif Aurora Hope (m/c Nov 10 2010), and baby.gif Sydney Rayne (September 17 2011)     ribboncesarean.gifx3

rareimer is offline  
#16 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 09:30 PM
 
frand's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 277
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tell your husband the allergy issue is so much more common now that opting out of certain foods is very unlikely to carry the stigma it might have 30 years ago. My husband never liked or drank milk but I grew up guzzling glasses after school. I love dairy products and I'm the one who has the weight problem as an adult. I never gave my daughter cow's milk since we bf for 3 years. But I have and do use it in recipes. HOWEVER, about mid-way through kindergarten she started asking if she could have a glass of milk. I think she had it at someone else's house (this will happen) and liked it. I'm trying not to make a big deal of it. I'm letting her have it when she asks but not offering it. I have told her I think too much milk makes your body too big, so I've planted the idea. We'll see where this is headed. I don't want to make it a big No because I am convinced that only increases the desire.
frand is offline  
#17 of 17 Old 05-21-2004, 10:12 PM
 
Momtwice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 10,142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
sometimes people have fiercely intense cravings for food they are actually allergic/sensitive to.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
Momtwice is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off