No longer allowed to nurse son at daycare during pick-up (in front of other children) - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-10-2005, 06:57 PM
 
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I think it is great you are standing up for your rights, whatever they may be.
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Old 11-11-2005, 11:58 AM
 
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I think it is outrageous, and I don't think that the fact that this is a home daycare should exclude the DCP from honoring a child's need to nurse. When you open a business in your home, you give up some of the preferences you may enforce for visitors. In example, you couldn't refuse to care for minority children, etc. Your income may be important, but it doesn't justify discrimination.

That said, I had this experience a few months ago in my larger daycare, with my 2 year old, because it made the male DCP uncomfortable. I argued that this is a form of subtle discrimination and encouraging more discomfort, but still didn't convince anyone. It's not come up since, as I rarely pick DS up and he doesn't NIP as much anymore, but I would still choose simply to ignore the "request."

Shannon, mama to Jack :
: : : : : :
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Old 11-11-2005, 12:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smirlynwittles
We've been offically kicked out. Our dcp refused to tell who complained and would get up set if it was spoken about in front of other parents or the staff.
SHE would get upset? What about your being upset about being made to feel like a sick pervert? She continues to offend me deeply. She has some nerve.

I know you want to have peace and let go of this, and you may or may not take action of some kind, but the idea that she's upset after what she said to you, makes me wish I was still nursing so I could go nurse on her lawn and "upset" her.

And you have every right to tell other parents and staff about what she did to you, especially the spreading the legs comment.

I really, really admire you. Her, not so much.

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Old 11-11-2005, 06:20 PM
 
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The dcp has the right to run her home dc any way she chooses, if there are no concrete guidelines or regulations set by the state reguarding bf. The thing to do here would be to work with your state's childcare licensing agency to form some type of guideline in this situation. I'm not saying I agree with the dcp's stance on this issue, just pointing out that it is a private business and unless the bf issue at all home dc's in that particular state is formally regulated or there are guidelines which must be followed by all providers, it's her call as to how she runs her business. I have not ever had this come up with the children I have had in care....but it gets you to thinking. Providers are required to have a policy/procedure handbook in my state, (there are parts of it pertaining to the feeding and care of infants for those who do infant care-but I have never seen one with anything about bf in it, just storage of breast milk to be fed to the child in the mother's absence), and are subject to it being reviewed by the licensor. If people feel strongly (and rightly so I believe) about this issue, maybe someone should inquire with that state's licensing agency. I am glad to hear alternate childcare was found, and sorry that you had such a stressful time.
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Old 11-11-2005, 06:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We never did get a paper stating why he was kicked out. There was also nothing in the papers either requiring notice, so it doesn't seem necessary to pry open any more wounds.

I guess I shouldn't have been nice and let her know ahead of time...

I also wish I didn't give her my daughter's hand-me-downs for her grandchild.

I should learn not to be so nice...

It just sucks. : I shouldn't have to do that.
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Old 11-12-2005, 08:11 PM
 
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smyrlinwittles- Don't feel bad about being nice. It will come back to you ten-fold.Everytime she sees her grandchild in one of those outfits she can regret the mistakes she made.Poor choices, unprofessional conduct...the list goes on.Now you and ds can get on with your lives. I'm sure you may deal with ignorant people again.IMO it's best to keep yourself surrounded by loving accepting people. the rest falls into place.Thinking of you-admiring your strength.Hali
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Old 11-13-2005, 01:37 PM
 
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"She is planning on having an additional sheet to sign when new parents start saying that they agree not to breastfeed their children in front of the other children."

OMG! I am horrified!
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Old 11-13-2005, 02:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mom2alicia
"She is planning on having an additional sheet to sign when new parents start saying that they agree not to breastfeed their children in front of the other children."

OMG! I am horrified!

I hope she gets a lot of breastfeeders in the future who are so offended by that statement that they go elsewhere or lobby their state lawmakers or....you get the idea.

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Old 11-13-2005, 04:15 PM
 
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i would love to see if she actually does this. is there a stealth mama in your area willing to check this out for you? because i think she is full of s*** & wouldn't dare put it in writing (not if she has any lawyer in the world to advise her.) i would bet $100 this minute she will just assume that the 'crazy bfing lady' is gone now & it will never come up again.

and if i am wrong, of course stealth mama could let her know what she thinks of such a policy immediately.

susan
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Old 11-13-2005, 05:50 PM
 
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A true breastfeeding culture. We can dream.
That would be my dream. And the lack of breastfeeding as the norm is at the route of this problem.

I've been reading this thread with tears and outrage. I nursed each of my children into school age. And I'm a former home daycare provider (registered with the state, trained, etc).

Quote:
I think it is outrageous, and I don't think that the fact that this is a home daycare should exclude the DCP from honoring a child's need to nurse. When you open a business in your home, you give up some of the preferences you may enforce for visitors. In example, you couldn't refuse to care for minority children, etc. Your income may be important, but it doesn't justify discrimination.
Bring out the violins because I'm going to whine. Home daycare providers give up preferences daily in their home. They chose that job; and I realize that puts a limit on the amount of complaining they can do.

But there are issues and challenges in owning a home daycare business that only other home daycare providers can understand. I am a bit taken aback at the strident, passionate and staunch support of one woman (the OP, breastfeeding mom) and the unrelenting judgement and labels thrown on the other mom (and her other clients). I realize this is the breastfeeding support board. But this is clearly a provider who facilitated a breastfeeding relationship for almost a year. This is not some completely anti breastfeeding mom who sabbotaged the OP.

It can be exceedingly hard to attract and retain home daycare clients. Clients come and go in unpredictable patterns and in odd ways. Securing a regular income can be a nightmare over which moms lose many nights sleep.

The daycare owner *could* have chosen to come out in direct support of breastfeeding anytime, anywhere. She did not. But it's not her battle to fight. She does not have that obligation or need. Especially not at the risk of losing clients she likely works hard to keep.

I think that some posts in this thread have been dreadfully unfair to the daycare provider in their effort to be supportive to the OP.
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Old 11-16-2005, 04:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Gabe is doing ok at the new daycare. His separation anxiety is pretty bad right now (if I'm in his presence, he won't let go of me). We also have a conference at Montessori tonight. Hopefully there won't be more bad news...

E-mail from R. Selfridge at the MI House: :
"15 months old, come on lady! I'll see what I can find out."

I really don't see why age matters. He is barely over 1 year old, which is the min recommended by the AAP. I'd only have to drive an hour or so south to be protected from this crap.
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Old 11-16-2005, 05:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smirlynwittles

E-mail from R. Selfridge at the MI House: :
"15 months old, come on lady! I'll see what I can find out."

How rude!
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Old 11-16-2005, 05:15 PM
 
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From the CDC Website:
Quote:
Are special precautions needed for handling breast milk?No special precautions exist for handling expressed human milk, nor does the milk require special labeling. It is not considered a biohazard. The Universal Precautions to prevent the transmission of human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), Hepatitis B virus, and other bloodborne pathogens do not apply to human milk.
This is in reference to the woman who is not 'allowed' to give her babe her own milk in the church nursery b/c of possible 'contamination' to the other babies.
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Old 11-16-2005, 05:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smirlynwittles
E-mail from R. Selfridge at the MI House: :
"15 months old, come on lady! I'll see what I can find out."
What a disgrace of proper etiquette! Doesn't really surprise me though. I think most ppl in power lack just about everything. Their only real accomplishment is having been able to lie and cheat their way to the top to prey on the honest ppl. (Of course that is my personal opinion and if no one else agrees that is just fine with me.)

treehugger.gif Alisaynovax.gif,intactlact.gifUsed to be a fly-by-nursing1.gifcd.giffamilybed2.gif, SAHM to three slinggirl.gif, all by ribboncesarean.gif, then they grew up. mecry.gif

Now I am a WOHM, college student, single mama. praying.gif to be belly.gifbfinfant.gifcd.giffamilybed1.gif, buddamomimg1.png, to a littlebabyf.gifagain someday. stillheart.gif 

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Old 11-16-2005, 05:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeosMama
From the CDC Website:


This is in reference to the woman who is not 'allowed' to give her babe her own milk in the church nursery b/c of possible 'contamination' to the other babies.
Anyone want to send that to that STUPID church? I'll do it!

treehugger.gif Alisaynovax.gif,intactlact.gifUsed to be a fly-by-nursing1.gifcd.giffamilybed2.gif, SAHM to three slinggirl.gif, all by ribboncesarean.gif, then they grew up. mecry.gif

Now I am a WOHM, college student, single mama. praying.gif to be belly.gifbfinfant.gifcd.giffamilybed1.gif, buddamomimg1.png, to a littlebabyf.gifagain someday. stillheart.gif 

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Old 11-16-2005, 05:25 PM
 
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15 months isn't even old...not that it matters. Really your child's age shouldn't even be asked. It just blows my mind. I really cannot believe you are dealing with this at all. I realize now how fortunate I am in the community I live in. I see lots of other nursing mama's...
glad you son is in a new environment. Hope his adjustment goes smoothly. This is a common age for another spurt of sep. anxiety.

~MB
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Old 11-16-2005, 05:39 PM
 
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I did include the info from CDC and OSHA when I emailed the church. It didn't matter. They feel the nursing room, and summoning the Mom is equal to giving bottles of formula. Seperate but equal anyone?

There is another thread with this issue. I only brought it up to show how bad Michigan is. I am always being asked to do things like the rest of the moms, formula is good enough for all but the vigilent here.
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Old 11-17-2005, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Another e-mail from the MI government. Based on this response, we could get kicked out of any restaurant, mall, etc for breastfeeding.

-----Original Message-----
From: District 26 <[email protected]>
To: xxxxxxx
Sent: Thu, 17 Nov 2005 13:41:10 -0500
Subject: Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination at In-Home Daycare in Michigan


Dear Ms. xxxxx,

Thank you for your recent email.

In regards to any discrimination, you can contact the Civil Rights
Department. The Detroit office phone number is 313-456-3700.

An in-home daycare is a business and they are not a Governmental unit
and do not belong to a Union. They have the right to choose their
clients and the right to set whichever rules they feel appropriate to
operate the daycare.

Thank you again for writing. Please feel free to contact our office
regarding any State legislative issue at 866.585.2471.

Sincerely,

Christine Riley
Legislative Assistant to
Rep. Marie Donigan
District 26
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Old 11-17-2005, 05:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smirlynwittles
Another e-mail from the MI government. Based on this response, we could get kicked out of any restaurant, mall, etc for breastfeeding.

-----Original Message-----
From: District 26 <[email protected]>
To: xxxxxxx
Sent: Thu, 17 Nov 2005 13:41:10 -0500
Subject: Re: Breastfeeding Discrimination at In-Home Daycare in Michigan


Dear Ms. xxxxx,

Thank you for your recent email.

In regards to any discrimination, you can contact the Civil Rights
Department. The Detroit office phone number is 313-456-3700.

An in-home daycare is a business and they are not a Governmental unit
and do not belong to a Union. They have the right to choose their
clients and the right to set whichever rules they feel appropriate to
operate the daycare.

Thank you again for writing. Please feel free to contact our office
regarding any State legislative issue at 866.585.2471.

Sincerely,

Christine Riley
Legislative Assistant to
Rep. Marie Donigan
District 26
That sickens me.

Kirsten - wife to Mark and co-sleeping, breastfeeding mother to , :, and
Photography, including Breastfeeding Photography, in my Homepage.
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Old 11-17-2005, 06:25 PM
 
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Let's start calling the numbers she provided.

This is the attitude in Mich, no rights to protect.
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Old 11-17-2005, 06:55 PM
 
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nevermind-I see you pulled him out of there

sorry you had to go thru all this!

Ann

Full-time homeschooling mama : of a 15yo "teenager" , 12yo DIVA, 9yo builder, & 4yo treasure.
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Old 11-29-2005, 12:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Here is the other thread with the pages, Sue!

Gabe started Montessori yesterday and things went well. He actually didn't feel like nursing at pick up since he was more interested in showing me around.

Later...
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Old 11-29-2005, 10:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MovingMomma
There is a federal law! According to the LLL website:

I don't think this extends to protection if an institution receives federal money, however.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruthr
What federal law? There is no federal law, only SOME state laws.
Ruth


There is a federal law! According to the LLL website:
Quote:
In 1999, a federal law was enacted that ensures a woman's right to breastfeed her child anywhere on federal property that she has a right to be with her child.


I don't think this extends to protection if an institution receives federal money, however.

Let me clarify.
Which means that if a woman is physically ON Federal Property, in a Federal courthouse, at the National Zoo, the Smithsonian, the Capitol, the White House... she can breastfeed.
What I should have been clear about is that I meant that there is no federal legislation that protects a mother wherever she may be in whatever state she is in. What there is, is a hogde podge of laws, in basically 40 states. Some states only clarify that breastfeeding does not constitute indecent exposure you can't be arrested... Some also clarify the right to breastfeed anywhere a woman has the right to be. I actually talked to a state representative today who explained that the language "where she has a right to be" is designed to cover both public and semi-public places. For instance a mall is privately owned property but unless the mall, or restaurant, business etc. posts a sign that says "No Shoes, No Shirts, No Breastfeeding" then with the "where she has a right to be" language protects us. And while business's have extensive right to refuse service rights, what business in it's right mind would post that they refuse to serve breastfeeding mothers.

Ruth
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Old 11-30-2005, 02:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smirlynwittles

I also wish I didn't give her my daughter's hand-me-downs for her grandchild.

I should learn not to be so nice...

It just sucks. : I shouldn't have to do that.
Grr, I am mad for you too!!

But, I SO agree with the next post by Kira's mom:

Quote:
smyrlinwittles- Don't feel bad about being nice. It will come back to you ten-fold.Everytime she sees her grandchild in one of those outfits she can regret the mistakes she made.Poor choices, unprofessional conduct...the list goes on.
My family lives really close to your DCP. If you are planning a nurse in when we're back visiting with the new baby in June, I'm in! Wow, I didn't know MI was so in the dark ages like I"m seeing in these comments. : No state BF'ing law !!

-Kelly
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Old 11-30-2005, 02:14 PM
 
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Grr, I am still so mad about this! And we are planning to move back in 1 1/2 or 2 years. That's it- we're only moving to Ann Arbor. (seriously) I can't imagine anyone saying anything about NIP there. I am mad about that church too. Such fear over breast milk. God forbid. (where's the roll eyes smilie?)

-Kelly
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