Ouch, my feelings got hurt re: pumping... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 01-10-2003, 06:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I made a sign with a picture of my DS and the words
"Mommy at work
Please do not disturb
I'll be done in about 15 min."

I thought it was cute, the Mommy at work thing. Apparently some of my co-workers did not.
My boss just asked me to change the sign to just say,
Please do not disturb.

Don't know why it hurt me so much, but I'm completely red-faced right now and want to cry.

Is it raging hormones of a breastfeeding mommy or am I right to be hurt?

Marcy:
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#2 of 24 Old 01-10-2003, 06:38 PM
 
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That's bogus. My sign says please do not disturb but I can't tell you how many times people have knocked anyway - I don't have a lock on my door and I live in fear that someone will knock and just barge in. Well, they'd probably be more embarrassed than I would, but still.

You shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed at all - the problem lies with your co-workers and boss, not you!


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#3 of 24 Old 01-10-2003, 06:40 PM
 
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what crap!! Why the heck would anyone care what you wrote? I would be willing to bet that it is the pumping thing, and so many women are threatened by a mother that can try to do it all! ( motherhood, work and breastfeeding)

Sorry you got your feelings hurt. You are obviously proud of your pumping for your baby and it sux that your co-workers don;t share in your joy.

We do!!
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#4 of 24 Old 01-10-2003, 06:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks ladies!
Jane- I'd be terrified to pump without a lock on my door too. I read in a breastfeeding book that it is helpful for the sign to say, "will be done in 15 min." to avoid the knocking that you sometimes get. When they know they can come back shortly, they usually move on to something else and check back.

KeysMama- thank you so much! You are right, I am proud that I'm providing the best food for my child and they probably are jealous that I'm doing it all - and with a smile on my face too!

Thank goodness I can leave this place now and have 2 whole days just me, baby and hubby!

I'm always interested to see how other companies handle pumping moms.

Thanks for the hugs, I really need them!

Marcy
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#5 of 24 Old 01-10-2003, 07:07 PM
 
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That stinks!!!

God forbid they know that you're in there using your boobs for their intended purpose!!!

Before I got a lock on my door, I had a sign that said "Got milk? I do, so please come back in 10-15 minutes" (stolen from a woman on a w&p board I visit!). Like you, I did it because my first sign wasn't effective in keeping people away.

I always wondered whether anyone would say anything about it. I was prepared to give them a real tongue lashing, particularly since I work in an industry and, until they banned it a couple of years ago, a firm where it is commonplace to take male recruits to strip clubs. Oh, the irony!!!!! :

Mooray for you from a fellow w&p'er!
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#6 of 24 Old 01-10-2003, 08:05 PM
 
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What on earth could be offensive about saying "mommy at work?"

It doesn't even make sence that someone could be offended by those words. What up-tight @%#*%s!

I am curious to know where you work, but I know you might not to post that.
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#7 of 24 Old 01-10-2003, 08:22 PM
 
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Marcy, you are a really really nice person. Too bad yr co-workers can't see your devotion to your baby as a sign of your generosity in general.

Of course, your pumped milk will mean a healthier baby=less days missed from work, but they don't see that.

My sister's kids werent' bfed and she almost always had a bottle of pink antibiotics in her fridge---yuck! Ear infections and croup up the wazoo.
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#8 of 24 Old 01-12-2003, 11:54 PM
 
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I recommend changing the sign to 'Do Not Diisturb" and in small Print underneath "Kiss my a$$!" but then agaun, that's me! LOL Actually, if it was me I'd hope they'd walk in if the yare so uncomfortable already! ( iused to pump and just didn't care, ya gotta be this way or the ignorant people will knock you down, I know!
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#9 of 24 Old 01-13-2003, 09:25 AM
 
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Marcy, your boss and your co-workers were the ones who were out of line, if you ask me. I think the sign you posted was perfect- friendly, funny, and effective. No, you are not wrong to be hurt. Why-oh-why to people have to have such "issues" with breastfeeding??

Hugs to you and your lucky baby!!!
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#10 of 24 Old 01-13-2003, 10:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much to everyone for your support. It really helps me to feel better about the whole thing. It is really sad that people are that embarrassed or uptight about something so natural.

One thing positive that I must say about my workplace, they did spend big bucks for me to have curtains that would provide the privacy I would need in order to pump at my desk. I know it cost them a fortune.

It still makes me sad and sort of smacked of a "what-you're-doing-is-inappropriate" attitude.

Thanks, DaryLLL for your kind words!

Marcy
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#11 of 24 Old 01-13-2003, 10:34 PM
 
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Marcy, I'm sensitive like that too. I'm sure it was embarrassing just to have someone question what you said on YOUR sign. Jeez, don't people have better things to worry about????? Sorry sweetie!
Leslie in MD, moderator
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#12 of 24 Old 01-14-2003, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Leslie!

One positive thing about being sensitive is that we have lots of empathy for people.

Marcy
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#13 of 24 Old 01-14-2003, 11:53 AM
 
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marcy....
i would feel bad too, so you are not alone in your feelings! it would make me feel like an idiot!
I mean, whats up with some people...as some one who wohm, i would not be offended by that sign.

luckily, i work in a hospital, and 2 of the moms i work with nurse, and pump at work. one goes down to labor and delivery to pump, and the other nurse goes to the room where the doctors sleep. we have a "do not disturb" thing that hangs on the doorknob, but i know she locks the door, as she would be mortified if one of the doctors walked in while she was using her "double whammy"!
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#14 of 24 Old 01-16-2003, 02:29 AM
 
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I have my own office but everyone's keys can open our office doors...some security, hmm? A dr. walked in on me once because he was going to riffle thru. my files (I coordinate research at a med. school). So now I put a sign on my doorknob when I pump...It's a cow saying "Please do not disturb." I think it's a hoot, and so does everyone else!
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#15 of 24 Old 01-17-2003, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That's really cute, the cow thing. I'm sure that would offend the people here too.
Sad isn't it?

Thanks for the support ladies! At least I know that somewhere out there people have a clue.

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#16 of 24 Old 01-17-2003, 06:21 PM
 
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how 'bout putting something like

"so, did my previous sign embarrass you? come on in, and you'll REALLY get embarrassed!"

hehehehe.

@ my work, they have a lactation room. I was heading in there one time when I was still full-time, and an older man I knew said "hey, whatcha doing?" I said, "I'm going to lactate!"

he just kind of stared at me. hehe. I"m sure that is the first time he had ever heard that one!
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#17 of 24 Old 01-17-2003, 06:55 PM
 
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Marcy, that is just awful!

Some people don't have anything better to do than look for ways to be rude to other people.

I think that your original sign is very cute!


Jean

Jean, happy HS mom to Peter (5), Daniel (9) and Lucie (2) and also someone new... baby.gif
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#18 of 24 Old 01-17-2003, 11:31 PM
 
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I think it's ridiculous that people would be offended at your sign, but people are easily offended. Maybe what bothers them is if they are working mothers and they feel that the mommy at work line somehow diminishes them as mothers in some way, especially if they formula fed. That's the only explanation I can come up with, that the other mothers feel they are all mothers at work. I dunno!

Where I worked before I was pregnant, the one mom didn't really have a private place to pump. She used to do it in the bathroom which bothered one of the women who told her she should use the conference room and shut the door. She would do that, and she'd also go in the break room sometimes too if the conference room was occupied.
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#19 of 24 Old 01-22-2003, 04:59 AM
 
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you could put up a sign that says "I'm pumping, leave me alone!!!!! ) although, you'd probably be asked to take that down too....:

or "this is not a peep show, go away!"

ok, so I am mean
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#20 of 24 Old 01-23-2003, 01:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, I was surprised to see this thread still going.

After that comment, I made a sign that simply said, Do not disturb.
I don't like that though, cause I keep hearing comments like, "Must be nice to shut out the world like that." So, I'm getting really pissed about this now.
I just made a new sign that says, do not disturb, I'll be done in 15 min. (because I think that's really important, so that people know they can come back soon adn I'll be done.) and I stole the cow idea and put a tiny, little cow to the side!
I don't care what they think about that!

Marcy

BTW- Love the "I'm lactating" comment, I'm stealing that too!

He he
:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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#21 of 24 Old 01-27-2003, 07:13 PM
 
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When you hear the comments about wishing they could shut the world away, too, you could always say, "What's stopping you?"
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#22 of 24 Old 01-27-2003, 09:28 PM
 
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You could lift a picture of an old masters' painting of Mary nursing Jesus to put on your sign.

But I guess that'd be offensive on multiple fronts.

hmmmm they're offended that you put a "do not disturb" sign out; jealous that you can do that....

Maybe you should keep the cow and say "come on in, just fixing the baby's meals for tomorrow." Then you're not getting the privilege of shutting the world out And they're welcome to see how fun it is to pump!:

Or you could just make the offer and see how fast the fools scramble to fall all over themselves saying "do not disturb" is Fine.

"What will you do once you know?"
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#23 of 24 Old 01-28-2003, 05:21 PM
 
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I would probably react the same way you did because I'd feel embarrased and my feelings would be hurt.

I think people just don't want to think about what's going on behind the doors. At first I had a lot of people ask what the sign was about, I thought about being blunt, but I didn't want to embarras them either. I think most people already knew.

Anyway, because I didn't want anyone to knock or call, my sign says...."Please...do not enter. If you need to get in touch with me immediately, please send me an email." So far, it has worked well. No knockers or callers!

Sorry you felt bad.

--Jennifer
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#24 of 24 Old 01-28-2003, 05:37 PM
 
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When they say they would like to shut out the world for a while, tell them you would too. Then describe to them what is actually involved in the pumping process. Pictures would be a nice touch. Hey, if they want uncomfortable, we can give them uncomfortable! Offer the BM for everyone's coffee...
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