An aquaintance of mine is considering having me watch her 3 m/o while she returns to work, about 14 hrs per week. I was discussing it with my husband, weighing the pros & cons. DH asks me if I will nurse her baby while I have him. I am nursing our DD, so I guess he thought what's one more mouth to feed! He didn't think this would be anything weird, he actually thought that lots of moms would appreciate the offer.
So I pose the question, would you think this was a weird offer for someone to make? Would you want your child care provider to also be a wet nurse for you? I have mixed feelings about the whole idea, but I was hoping you could give me some clarity.
Please don't flame me if you think this is a bad idea. It was just a thought I need some help deciding if it is right or wrong and the reasons why.
Thanks for your help...
I knew a mother once who had a daughter with awful digestive problems. She was going through different formulas and things were getting worse. I offered my milk using humour, so that she could accept it if she wanted, or laugh it off as a joke if she felt uncomfortable. I think I said something like, "I have so much milk I could supply a milk bank. Let me know if you ever need some!"
I think its cool that your dh was so comfortable with the idea.
Also, if she's planning to keep on breastfeeding as much as she is now, she'll have to pump and have you feed the baby her expressed breastmilk, so your nursing her baby would interfere with that.
Still, I think it's a very generous thought and I wish our society were more open to the idea of nursing each other's babies when necessary.
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Now this was a generation ago, and the woman was a native of Norway....but, FWIW your idea is not new or unique.
I don't think it's a weird offer to make. I made the same offer when we were camping with friends and both of us were nursing our sons. If she hadn't returned to camp and the little guy got hungry I was willing to help. They accepted the offer in spirit it was intended--if there was a need...
If you can word your offer in such a manner then I see no reason not to. Just make it clear that you're not the least bit offended if she's not comfortable with the idea.
I know it's silly and all- but if my babysitter offered to bf Aidan, I think I would have a hard time with that. I think because I look at breastfeeding as such a bonding experience that I'd be jealous of another woman if she were providing that comfort too. I'm kinda proud that I'm the only one that DS can get that from, especially since I work outside of the home. I feel I partially make up for not being there during the day by nursing him at night.
Like I said, I know that it's silly and that wet nursing used to be very common. However, if for some reason I was unable to nurse and DS was ill, I'd probably reconsider.
I think i'd have to know someone pretty well before i'd let them bf my son though. And i'd want to know their complete medical history. I think i'd worry too much about catching thrush to do it, honestly. I'm such a germ-o-phobe.
I'm Andrea - I have three boys - 12 year old twins & an 11 year old
I supply milk to a friend - I don't actually nurse her daughter, although I would in a heartbeat.
Anyway - you could maybe find out how she feels about artificial baby milk. Such as "So - you are going to give me bottles of EBM, but what should I do if I run out. Would you like me to express milk for your little one?".
I know that nursing is easier, but this way you could find out how she feels about her baby getting someone elses milk first (which is normally viewed as less wierd than actually nursing).
If that is working out, but you would prefer to be nursing, after a while say "you know, it is getting really hard to pump...if we run out of your EBM - do you want me to just nurse your little one?"
I would be careful posing it as a joke. If someone said to me in a joking manner that they could nurse my dd, it would make me more uncomfortable then if they just came out and asked. I'd wonder if they really meant it and if they didn't and I responded with a "yes" then I'd feel foolish KWIM? Hope that makes sense.
I guess since she isn't a good friend, I wouldn't bring it up either. More than likely there won't be a need but I think it's great that you'd entertain the thought and that your dh is so supportive!
I have mixed feelings about it too but wish I didn't.