am I being silly/stubborn? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 02-01-2003, 08:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My DD is 6.5 mo and never had a bottle.

It started out that I wanted to make sure my milk supply was good. Then I had no troubles BFing, but I was also never away from DD, so I had no need for bottles. The longer she went without one, the more proud I felt about the fact that she'd never had one. I have nothing but respect and admiration for moms who pump at work to give their babies the very best, but for some reason I have always felt this to be a "badge of honour" for me.

I bought DD a sippy cup recently but she just doesn't "get" it. Dh said why don't we use the bottle that came with your pump (bought an Isis to relieve engorgement on road trips and provide an "emergency" milk stash)...but I just have this really stubborn thing that I've gone this long w/out DD having a bottle, I don't want to start now. I wouldn't mind if DH or my mum could feed her once in a while if need be, but not enough to break my "never had a bottle" record.

Am I being silly? Is this really anything to be "proud" of, lol? I figure she's old enough to use a sippy cup (I got an Avent magic cup) but she's just not having any of it and I refuse to push the issue since I"m still ambivalent about it.

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#2 of 23 Old 02-01-2003, 08:08 PM
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Congratulations!

Kailey has never had a bottle either. We started offering her a sippy cup around 7 months. She really didn't "get" it until after she was a year or so.
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#3 of 23 Old 02-01-2003, 08:11 PM
 
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Ok, I've had no personal experience with this myself, but I already feel like you do... People tell me I *must* bottle train the baby, so he/she can be fed if I'm not around, and I never say anything to them but I really do think 'But if I'm not working, I don't want my baby to have bottles!'. I do think its wonderful for moms who do pump and bottle feed for whatever reasons to have that option... and I don't think any less of those who do.

It *feels* like a silly prideful thing (at least for myself) to not want to use bottles ever if I don't have to. but I do still feel strongly about it. Ok, ok, its also a great excuse to not have people baby sit my baby before I'm ready if he/she won't take a bottle! "Sorry, I have to be with the baby to fed him/her"...

So I'm thinking its totally normal If you don't really have any real reasons to get her to take a bottle, well they why make yourself uncomfortable by doing it?

Lisa, mama to Orion (7) , Fiona Star (born sleeping @ 38wks 12/6/08) , our bitty (m/c 7/27/09) , and Charlotte Athena (11/5/10)
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#4 of 23 Old 02-01-2003, 10:08 PM
 
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It's not a big deal for babies to have bottles. It's also not a big deal for them not to (okay, it is ykwim). Do what feels right.

The only time my dd has had a bottle is when she has taken one from someone else : . She's 2.5 yo. She went straight from breast to cup.
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#5 of 23 Old 02-01-2003, 10:23 PM
 
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If you want someone else to feed your dd, maybe you could try cup feeding with an open cup. Ds#1 never had a bottle. I started giving him a sippy cup with water around your dd's age, but he didn't get it for months. He never took breastmilk from anyone.

With ds#2, my dh would give him a bottle of breastmilk once a week when I went to yoga. Around 8 months he lost interest. At a around 11 months he started taking breastmilk in a sippy cup without a valve.

Neither of my boys had any solids until around the year mark. I would just nurse them from both breasts and leave for no more than two hours at a time.

Some babes are very particular about breastmilk temp, so that could always be a factor too.
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#6 of 23 Old 02-02-2003, 12:24 AM
 
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my dd went from breast to breast LOL, and to small sides of water from sports bottles. Sports bottles could be worth a try?
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#7 of 23 Old 02-02-2003, 12:40 AM
 
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Piglet - I know just how you feel - my dd never had a bottle. She went from breast to a cup. I think I would have cried if I ever saw her drinking from a bottle - no matter what was in it! Now ds doesn't have a bottle either and he's not ready for a sippy - and I'm not sure I'm going to give him one. Sure it would be nice to leave him with grandma and go to the movies with dh but I'm just not ready. Guess I'm stubborn about it, or maybe I feel like there will be some boob-shaped trophy cup waiting for me after he weans!
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#8 of 23 Old 02-02-2003, 12:48 AM
 
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My ds could drink from a straw, before he got the idea of a cup. He had just turned 8 months old when he grabbed his brothers cup of lemonade at the mall and started sucking away. After that no ones cup was safe. Now he prefers sports bottles, but can drink out of a cup.

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#9 of 23 Old 02-02-2003, 12:50 AM
 
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we never had one in the house. my sister's two boys never took a bottle either.

imo, if mommy is always wclose enough the the baby to make bottles unnecessary, why bother.

my sisters & i never took any milk from bottles either!
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#10 of 23 Old 02-02-2003, 02:05 AM
 
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Piglet,

I feel the same way you do about "the badge of honor". It is a personal victiory for me to have exclusively breastfed my twin babies. I was told over and over "you must give them a bottle". Why Why Why? No one had an answer it just was..........Here we are 16 months later and not a bottle to be found. My older child also never used a bottle.
I understand the need for bottles for other people but my choice has been "not for me". I am very proud of my accomplishmnet. I hope you are of your personal victory and accomplish your goal of no bottles.

Your child will use a cup when ready, never fear. They won't go off to college not knowing how to drink from a cup.

Julianne
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#11 of 23 Old 02-02-2003, 02:10 AM
 
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I think it's great that your daughter hasn't been offered a bottle because it seems that you are happy with your decision and you had no "reason" to give her the bottle. Do you think Dh wants her to take a bottle so he can participate in her feedings? That would be the only reason I'd suggest trying it out. I'm another mommy who is proud of her bottle-free babe--- especially since I returned to my full time employment when said babe was only 14 weeks old! How did we do it? Not by MY choice; strong willed kid just flat out refused the bottle and starved until I came for him 7 hours later! We had the most unbelievable nursing marathons all night long...
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#12 of 23 Old 02-02-2003, 02:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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teachma - wow, that is amazing!

thank you, all of you, for your replies. it's nice to know I'm "normal", at least by MDC standards!!!

i'm also going to try a straw. but i won't push the issue with her at all; it's not that important and she will figure it out eventually. in the meantime, i just love nursing so much i don't mind. dh has been patient this long, he can wait a bit longer, lol.

thanks ladies!!


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#13 of 23 Old 02-02-2003, 03:26 AM
 
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I'm the same way, Piglet. I did try a bottle and cup one night to get some chammomile (sp) tea into him....he was having bad colic and was so restless....he thought the bottle was hilarious. Wouldn't take it. He did sip out of the cup but wasn't into it. We gave him the tea w/a medicine dropper, lol. My inlaws were pressuring me from before he was born to pump.....I never did because I have no reason to. DS is almost 8 months and is totally uninterested in solids, too. I am very proud of the exclusive bfding, and no bottles (I don't think trying one for medicinal purposes count, lol), particularly because I ff my first son, and was somewhat wary of bfding. Now I'm one of those militant bfders......we'll be ebf too!
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#14 of 23 Old 02-02-2003, 09:48 PM
 
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My dd will be 1 in 2 weeks and I am very proud of the fact that she had never had an artificial nipple in her mouth (bottle or pacifier).

She also won't drink from a sippy cup, but I am not pushing the issue either. I know she will in her own time.

I also KNOW that when I die and go to heaven I will be rewarded with the nursing "badge of honor"

Sometimes I do wish that I could leave her with dh for longer than 1 1/2 hours, but then I realize, well it really isn't too hard for me to take her with me, and I would just miss and worry about her if she wasn't with me. So, no bottles for her!

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#15 of 23 Old 02-03-2003, 12:22 PM
 
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I only had one baby who didn't have a bottle, and yes I am proud! VERY proud! She did all her growing from me!! Whoo Hoo! Go me! (I had another baby who was formula fed after a short time nursing and I really grieved about losing nursing.)

Stubborn? What's wrong with being stubborn? It kept you nursing this long when you could have offered a substitute!

No you are NOT silly. Yes you have every right to be proud.
It is years since mine was a baby and I still feel proud.

Be patient with the cup, and you will probably have a child who can use a cup before you know it. It takes time like any skill (like learning how to nurse!) And you can try other kinds of cups. I offered the cup with a little water and no pushing, no fanfare. She got the hang of it after a while.

You are not silly, you are justifiably proud and your stubborness has served your child well. Good for you!

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#16 of 23 Old 02-03-2003, 02:20 PM
 
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there is no need.
just another HABIT to break.
gosh, between potty training, and everything else, WHO NEEDS MORE? :-)

i didn't nurse at all, only bottles.

but, i see no reason you would need a "bottle".

just nurse and use sippy cups.

they will eventually learn to love sippy cups.

my son HATED sippy cups at first, after a month or so he loved them.

give time

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#17 of 23 Old 02-03-2003, 03:05 PM
 
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I got so much pressure from my mom to pump and use a bottle. She would alway say to me " You're not the only one who can take care of him. And, you're not letting Terrell experience feeding him." It drove me crazy. My dh never cared about feeding ds. He is very proud of me for nursing ds. When my mom finally realized that I wasn't going to give in to her demands she stopped pestering me ( about pumping anyway). I am so proud of the fact that ds hasn't had a bottle. Ever and he is 18 months.
I totally understand and I don't think you are being silly.
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#18 of 23 Old 02-04-2003, 06:49 PM
 
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Dd used bottles mostly because of my low supply. She disliked the nursing supplementer (SNS), and she didn't like the bottle much better. She understood it was necessary to take the edge off her hunger, but the minute she was getting enough food to compensate for my milk supply shortcomings, she refused it.

And she would not take a sippy cup. No plastic in her mouth if she could help it. She drinks from an open cup only. It's no problem except that I handle the cup most of the time because she still does not understand gravity's effects on an upside down cup.

As for your question about your attitude, I had hoped that Dd wouldn't get a bottle and I feel a touch of envy of those who have been able to go along without one ever. It upset me every time I gave Dd a bottle but that's because it was a reminder of my problems. But that's about me, not about Dd's well being. You are entiltled to your little satisfactions, it sounds like you have good perspective about it and can laugh at yourself.
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#19 of 23 Old 02-05-2003, 04:31 PM
 
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DS never had a bottle either, it just wasn't right for us I guess. I think it's fine if you feel strongly about it, although you may get comments from people. He would never take breastmilk from a cup, but liked water.
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#20 of 23 Old 02-05-2003, 06:35 PM
 
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I understand. Dd never had a bottle either. And she refused to drink anything out of a cup until she was about a year old - breastmilk, water, juice, nothing. Honestly, she didn't really learn to use cups until after she weaned herself at fifteen months. I was actually worried she would refuse liquids and get dehydrated! The fact that your dd won't take a cup isn't surprising. Keep trying, if you want to, so that your dh can feed her occasionally.

I am also proud that dd never had a bottle, but I feel a little silly myself being proud - it's just a device to deliver a liquid, after all, and it's really no different than a cup...and the fact that it mimics the human nipple is actually a compliment to us BF moms, isn't it?


My dh never fed my dd either, but honestly, there are a lot more ways to bond with a baby. He used to sleep with her snuggled on top of his chest - I think that's way nicer than giving a bottle, don't you?
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#21 of 23 Old 02-05-2003, 07:47 PM
 
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Even at your dd's age, both bottles and sippy cups can interfere with nursing. She may chew on the sippy cup and start biting you!
The Avent cups are pretty hard for ones who haven't taken a bottle. My dd just gummed hers.
You could just give her a little open cup to play with or there are cups you can buy for really cheap at the grocery store that are regular cups with snap-on lids with mouth pieces. They don't have a mechanism inside that prevents spills, so she may make a small mess, but it'd be easier to deal with than an open cup.

And I hate cleaning anything up, so we waited until I wanted to give dd extra water--around 9 mo--to try a cup at all. I figured she could get her milk from me.
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#22 of 23 Old 02-06-2003, 11:34 AM
 
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Just chiming in from the opposite end of the continuum. My first dd showed a strong interest in a cup at 3 mos. Fully bfed baby. She would be sitting on my lap as I drank whatever, I really remember the morning cup of coffee. She would grab onto the cup with a death grip and totally know what to do, hanging her upper lip over the top of the cup. Of course I didn't let her have any coffee! but started letting her experiment with water then. She wouldn't really drink much at first, but it was messy fun.

I guess with all 3 kids, by the time they could sit up in a high chair, one activity they would love during mealtime would be to have a sip cup (back then there were no fancy mechanism cups, just had the Tupperware cup with a simple lid) and a plastic bowl, and the joy was in pouring the water from one container to the other, and onto the tray, and down the front , and onto the floor.

I never minded the "mess," as it was only water, it kept them entertained, so i could eat. then the water on the floor would be wiped up, and I would have a clean spot!

Cup play was also popular in the tub. I tried not to stress out too much if some bathwater was drunk.
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#23 of 23 Old 02-08-2003, 04:50 AM
 
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My DS has had about three bottles in his whole life. I wish I could say that he had never had one either! I kept putting off offering one, and I sort of hoped that he would refuse when we finally did, but he didn't care either way. I am a SAHM, so he doesn't really need to take a bottle, so he hasn't had one since November.

He's really interested in cups though. He grabs for my cup when I'm drinking near him, so I have started giving him a sippy cup with water in it. He doesn't get much out of it, but he loves to play with it. One think that made it a bit easier for him was taking out the valve that made them no spill (the avent ones) so that liquid would come out either way. I think it helped him figure it all out.

If he weren't taking one, I wouldn't be sweating it, though. I am with him all the time, so I see no reason for him to "need" to have a cup at all. He just likes it.
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