Hand on the nipple - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 02-12-2003, 09:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My ds is 18 months old -- i weaned him at 14 months because I got pregnant (now I am 36 weeks prego). He has this habit of sticking his hand on my nipple while he drinks his bottle. I let him do it thinking that this is another way for us to bond since he can't breastfeed and while he drinks his bottle we usually lay down side by side cheek to cheek. its cute and all but i was thinking with the new baby coming in less than four weeks...maybe i should stop his behavior - he still has a name for my breasts and still remembers that he breastfed and occasionally if I am topless he will try and suck which really hurts. i am so worried when the new baby comes that it will be a problem cuz he still seems possessive about my breasts. do u think i should stop his behavior...maybe start telling him that breasts are for little baby....he would understand somewhat...or start taking his hand out and using the yucky word so he understands its no longer something nice for him to do???

Momma to GG (dd - 14 yrs old), Active (ds - 10 yrs old), Toon (dd - 8 years old), Olive (ds - 5 years old), Princess (dd - 4 years old) and babyboy.gif Keemo (ds - 24 days old)

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#2 of 8 Old 02-13-2003, 11:23 AM
 
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Hmmm, this is a personal decsion, based on your comfort, his infantile needs (he is still a baby), and your protective feelings for the sibling to be.

If he can bond with you and mimic breastfeeding by snuggling with your breast while he drinks his bottle, good for him. Never anything wrong with cuddling and touching. All his future love relationships will mimic his first love relationship--with you!

When the new baby comes, he will still want to snuggle with you while you also care for the new one. He may ask to nurse, will you let him? Did you wean because of soreness? After the birth, you won't be sore anymore (unless you have latch-on problems).

If the nipple twiddling is bothering you, and he is willing to stop, fine. But expect him to want to snuggle at your bosom for years to come, along with the little one.
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#3 of 8 Old 02-13-2003, 11:26 AM
 
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I wouldn't take that intimacy away from him. I think he is too young to understand you telling him it's 'yucky' (which it's not), and between that and having to share mommy with a new baby it could be very stressful for him. Honestly, I would consider letting him nurse again. If you can get past the painful part, and teach him to relatch properly, that is. I know a lot of tandem-nursing mama's on this site say that it really helps to decrease the toddlers tension if they are still able to nurse. And he'll be getting all those great antibiotics!!
I think your DS is trying to tell you he still needs to nurse.
Take care and good luck with your growing family,
Steph
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#4 of 8 Old 02-13-2003, 04:51 PM
 
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Hi two-kids_uae, I'm 36 weeks too (and on the March mamas board), I have a dd who I stopped nursing when I became pg too-but she is 36months now-so it's a bit different than an 18month old, but I'd suggest that whatever you decide about the tandem thing that you talk about it with him. They have an incredible capacity for understanding-I think I've read that they actually understand 3x more than we often give them credit for.

I wouldn't tell him that it's yuccky-because it isn't and he knows that-plus he'll see you nursing the new baby and yuccky doesn't make sense.

I would deal with the posessiveness now though. Regardless of whether you decide to nurse him again, he will have to share them very soon and if you start preparing him now it will be less traumatic. In Sept. dd and I were talking about how babies eat when they're inside mama and then nurse after they're born, and I said that this baby would drink mama milk from my nursies and she looked at me totally shocked, put her hand on my breast and said "not my nursies!" Needless to say, we've worked on this and now she tells everyone that the baby will drink from my nursies when he comes out.

and why stop the snuggling-he'll probably need to after the baby comes no matter what you decide about nursing.

good luck, hope you're feeling well
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#5 of 8 Old 02-13-2003, 08:12 PM
 
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we've worked on this and now she tells everyone that the baby will drink from my nursies when he comes out.
:LOL

melamama, you've got to love that in the grocery store checkout line!!
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#6 of 8 Old 02-13-2003, 11:19 PM
 
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My 3 year old nursed till he was about 2 and has always rubbed my belly for comfort. Even when he was nursing. When I had his little bro 5 months ago I was really happy he had his own special way to find physical comfort while the baby nursed. Sometimes it feels a little overwhelming (who's body is this anyway!) But it's wonderful to be able to provide such special comfort to the kids. Something noone else would ever be able to duplicate. Sometimes I'm nursing the baby lying down and my 3 yr old is literally lying on top of me!! They really need to feel included.
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#7 of 8 Old 02-14-2003, 02:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I quit breastfeeding for 2 main reasons: soreness and the fact that my ds was biting starting from 8 months and to this day he is still a biter.

So I felt that I was forced to wean him. I didn't want to and neither did he. But I tried everything to get him to stop biting and nothing worked and nothing has worked to this day. He bites family only, though.

melamama and Sahara: yeah i guess thats a stupid idea to tell him its yucky and I agree that he still wants to nurse but I am so afraid of the biting.

I was thinking that after my milk came in that I would let him breastfeed but everyone around me is telling me its an awful idea and he will drink the baby's milk and there won't be anything left for the baby. I keep telling them thats not how it works - the more they drink - the more I will make.

One of my friends - once she had her 2nd baby started to renurse the first baby and said it was a nightmare because her older child, after learning to sleep through the night, started to wake up again every 2-3 hours to breastfeed. Now he is over 2 years old and she has no idea what to do at this point. She also says he is having a hard time sharing with the baby...once he started feeding again - its like he got really possessive and gets upset when the baby tries to feed...he will literally walk over and try and push him off.

I love to snuggle with ds and wouldn't give it up for the world. I will definitely keep that going but as far as letting him breastfeed again I am still divided as to what to do... I want everyone to win in this situation....

Momma to GG (dd - 14 yrs old), Active (ds - 10 yrs old), Toon (dd - 8 years old), Olive (ds - 5 years old), Princess (dd - 4 years old) and babyboy.gif Keemo (ds - 24 days old)

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#8 of 8 Old 02-14-2003, 04:52 PM
 
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Hey two kids,
You know, I think the answer will come to you when/if it's time for a change. Maybe now that he is older if you do decide to let him nurse again, he will be able to respect your request that he not bite you, I know my DS went through a biting phase and it took a while for me to get through to him how much it hurts me.
You are so right, your body will make milk to meet the demands being made if both children are nursing.
Once your baby is here I bet it will all fall into place. How exciting! Take care,
Steph
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