Geez, pressure to wean at 6 months! - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 7 Old 02-13-2003, 03:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't believe it but I've been asked more than 5 times this week when I plan on weaning! He's not even 6 months yet.
I think because he's popping his first tooth everyone thinks it's time for him to stop breastfeeding. Do they think that he's old enough for water, juice and solids? What do they propose I feed him? Formula full-time? What's the difference in formula and breastmilk (besides bm being better for babes!) Why is formula more exceptable than bm?
And why do I have a sneaky suspicion that if I said I was going to pump and only feed him ebm that would be okay with these people.
I really think that my mother, of all people, would be giddy if I weaned. For some reason she's really uncomfortable with my breastfeeding. Is it because she's an incest survivor? How can I get it through to her that this is not a sexual thing at all?

Marcy
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#2 of 7 Old 02-13-2003, 05:07 PM
 
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I don't have any suggestions on your mother, but it very likely could have to do with her past-- many women have internalized the breast as sexual (only), compound that with a shameful/painful event and it makes it even stronger and a harder belief to change.

Maybe by seeing you nursing and growing her (especially since she is the grandmother) perfect grandson, her opinion will shift. I wouldn't push her though-fundamentally it's about her stuff-and really has very little to do with you.

As far as what everyone else thinks--yes, they do think he is old enough for water, juice and solids (and probably diet coke). People have no idea about feeding babies, and whatever they see on tv is what is right. People don't bat an eye when a 3 year old is running around with a bottle, but god(dess) forbid they witness a 3 year old nursing.

Nurse your baby, cite the AAP recommendation for at least a year, then cite the WHO recommendation for 2 years and beyond.

good luck.
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#3 of 7 Old 02-13-2003, 06:37 PM
 
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You could be correct about your mother. You might never be able to get her to understand, but then again...

Just stand your ground and make the parenting choices that will work for you.

If it comes up express to your mom that Your decisions are not a reflection on hers, nor does breastfeeding have diddley to do with what happened to her.

One thing you might consider is not being secretive about the nursing. Secrecy is the hallmark of molestation, so be open. If you need to get pushy, be gentle, but ask her if hiding it in the dark as if it's evil would make it right....{no I don't always play "fair"} That might be thought provoking for her, open her eyes a bit.


"What will you do once you know?"
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#4 of 7 Old 02-13-2003, 08:28 PM
 
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marcy--

here is a very helpful link. good luck. you are the mom now.

dealing with criticism
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#5 of 7 Old 02-14-2003, 12:20 AM
 
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My baby is 7 mos and I've been prepared for these comments although nobody has said anything to me yet.

I'm going to cite the WHO and AAP recommendations, the fact that anthropological studies put the biological age for weaning somewhere around age 5...just basically pound them with statistics until they feel suitably ignorant for having asked, lol.

I'm good at that sort of thing, he he he.

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#6 of 7 Old 02-14-2003, 11:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you ladies for your concern and help.

Thanks for the link Daryl, it was very helpful.

I'm going to my mom's house tonight, so I'll be sure to arm myself with some good statistics. I think the key with Mom is to be gentle about it. The co-workers and others who are starting to comment, I can take a different approach with.


Marcy
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#7 of 7 Old 02-14-2003, 11:28 AM
 
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She is way out of line to make you feel that way. I was molested in an isolated incident, by my stepfather. He touched my breasts when I started puberty. I am nursing my 3month old, and see nothing sexual about it at all. My mom ff us, and she thinks I will wean the baby when she gets teeth, but I don't see that happening...
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