Most irritating excuses! Make a list! - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#121 of 175 Old 05-30-2006, 10:57 PM
Banned
 
Yulia_R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Lafayette, CO
Posts: 2,832
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm very very VERY sorry you had to go through this nightmare !

Of course this thread has nothing to do with mothers who could not breastfeed for true medical or other reasons, but with those who could but chose not too. And I think it’s a good thread where we all can vent a little bit because if you read excuses that we hear almost every day you will see how ridicules they are : ! It’s better to vent here then to make those “other” moms feel uncomfortable.

I hope this nightmare is gone for good for you; I really wish you this with all my heart and am sending you a lot of healing vibes!
If you were able to give your daughter at least these first 2 months of breastmilk it’s still GREAT JOB and you should be VERY proud of yourself!

Yulia.
Yulia_R is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#122 of 175 Old 05-30-2006, 11:02 PM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,052
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by shobizgirl
Hmmmm, how about this?

I was diagnosed with a brain tumor when he was two months old, stayed in the hospital for two weeks following an 8 hour surgery (one week was spent in ICU while I was in a medically induced coma), and had to go through weeks of physical therapy to learn how to walk again and use the right side of my body, which was due to the fact that my vestibular nerve had been severed to resect the lemon-sized tumor in my brain (which was also compressing my brain stem and causing hydrocephalus).

How's that for stupid? Sorry I wasn't able to breastfeed. At this point, I was just trying to stay alive for him.
But doesn't it make you just sick when you hear someone claim "well, I couldn't breastfeed because I had a head cold"?

There's a lady who hangs out here who was lucky (incredibly lucky and I hope to goodness she's doing okay) enough to be able to breastfeed her child for a year before she *had* to start chemo. It's very unfortunate that your health concerns made it so you really couldn't even consider breastfeeding. I can't even begin to imagine how many other aspects of your life were torn apart. I'm picturing it being a special event for you to even be able to hold your son
sapphire_chan is offline  
#123 of 175 Old 05-30-2006, 11:05 PM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,052
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by famousmockngbrd
I don't like the idea of someone being "made" to bf. It sounds very oppressive.
I read that one as him making her breastfeed by not fixing the bottle, so she either had to breastfeed or make the bottle herself.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#124 of 175 Old 05-30-2006, 11:30 PM
 
shobizgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sigh. I'm sorry, everyone. I am ashamed of my snarky post. I guess I am just bitter and angry, like a PP said. I had every intention of BF for at least a year; went to classes, read books, looked up LLL meetings, prepared my family...and for two months, I was able to nurse him. It was great. I guess I was just reading all these beautiful nursing stories and I was a little jealous. Again, I'm so sorry.
shobizgirl is offline  
#125 of 175 Old 05-30-2006, 11:51 PM
 
Quagmire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Quahog, RI
Posts: 1,812
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Alrighty then

Sorry for your experience
Quagmire is offline  
#126 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 01:45 AM
 
karma_momma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 150
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My MIL told me she decided not to breastfeed because............
"I didn't want him running after me yelling boob and pawing at my shirt."
She also told me that if I continue to bf DS after 1 year, she will not go out in public with me, but thats a whole nother thread . One of my friends from highschool told me her boobs were too big (double D's) and that in her research she found that formula was just as good or better than bf. One of my other friends went through many issues in the beginning to bf her DD. At 6 months she weaned because that is how long her mother bf. I tried to tell her the benefits of "EN" but she wasn't interested. Needless to say, most of the people I know IRL aren't supportive and I come to MDC for my sanity
karma_momma is offline  
#127 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 02:15 AM
 
Clarinet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,415
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by karma_momma
She also told me that if I continue to bf DS after 1 year, she will not go out in public with me

You say this like it's a bad thing!
Clarinet is offline  
#128 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 02:16 AM
 
JesseMomme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: not here anymore
Posts: 7,901
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The worst one I heard with my own ears was "I wanted to breastfeed, but my hubby wouldn't let me because I had smoked while I was pregnant and he didn't want me hurting the baby anymore than I already had".

I wanted to say "Well if you really wanted to bf maybe he could have been supportive of you cutting down/quiting" or "well you both have it half -right at least" There were a ton of other issues it seemed with this family, sometimes I wonder how that babe/now 6yo is doing.
JesseMomme is offline  
#129 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 03:58 AM
 
AlbertaJes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Northern Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
The whole issue of a husband or boyfriend insisting that the breasts are for sex, so they can't be used to feed a baby, is freaking me out. I mean, the woman's vagina has been used to birth a baby, right? Does he get upset about "sharing" that? Maybe she should object to his penis also being used for urination! "That's for fun! No more peeing with it!" Sorry for getting weird here, but REALLY!!
That's perfect!

Mom to K (06.23.06) & A (09.13.09)
AlbertaJes is offline  
#130 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 05:46 AM
 
PinksMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: KS
Posts: 271
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My MIL "tried" to BF her first, but "it was just too messy. By the time it was over, my clothes were soaked and the baby was all sticky and I had to give us both a bath. I just don't see how you can do it."

My cousin: "My mom couldn't breastfeed me because she had hayfever. She couldn't breastfeed my brother because he was an oopsie (surprise pregnancy)."

Me: I went on an emergency trip when my dd was 10 mo, driving 12 hours and back in two days and didn't take my baby or my breastpump with me. She went on a nursing strike when I came back and I didn't work hard enough to re-establish our relationship. Seven months later, I STILL deeply regret early weaning and mourn the fact that I am not nursing and dream daily about having another newborn so I can BF again.
PinksMommy is offline  
#131 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 11:56 AM
 
Joannarachel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ware, MA
Posts: 1,452
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry that happened to you, shobizgirl. Are you well now, at least?
Joannarachel is offline  
#132 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 02:31 PM
 
grumpyshoegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: South Shore, MA
Posts: 940
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadzia
"I am going back to work soon anyway so I just wanted to start him on formula right away."
Aaaaack! Out of all of them this gets me the most. I teach public school, not the easiest pumping situation, and my baby hasn't had a drop of formula (not that they didn't try at the hospital but she wouldn't take it!). I pump during my free periods and at lunch, and if I have a day where I have a long stretch with no break, I get in early and do a massive pump before the school day starts.

My favorite excuses:

I just have a thing about my boobs.
I didn't like it. (Too friggin' bad; I don't like changing diapers but I do it anyway! Note: I do NOT think bf is in any way like changing diapers.)
Aren't they just the same?
grumpyshoegirl is offline  
#133 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 02:40 PM
 
mamabadger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,743
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"Because breastfeeding's too expensive." I heard this a few years ago. I assumed the woman was just really bad at making up excuses, but she told me she'd read it in a book on baby care. I found the book, and sure enough, the author had argued that after the cost of specific foods and vitamins nursing mothers "must" eat, special equipment, nursing tops, etc., BF comes out costing more than FF! : I wish I could remember the name of the book, so I could warn you against it, or mail the author a dead fish. :
mamabadger is offline  
#134 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 04:37 PM
 
rupiezum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 781
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


You went through hell - and you survived. I am so sorry that you had such an ordeal.

rupiezum is offline  
#135 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 04:47 PM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 15,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by shobizgirl
Hmmmm, how about this?

I was diagnosed with a brain tumor when he was two months old, stayed in the hospital for two weeks following an 8 hour surgery (one week was spent in ICU while I was in a medically induced coma), and had to go through weeks of physical therapy to learn how to walk again and use the right side of my body, which was due to the fact that my vestibular nerve had been severed to resect the lemon-sized tumor in my brain (which was also compressing my brain stem and causing hydrocephalus).

How's that for stupid? Sorry I wasn't able to breastfeed. At this point, I was just trying to stay alive for him.
Um, this thread is titled "irritating excuses" - not "valid reasons." No need to get all up in arms.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
#136 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 05:01 PM
 
WorkingMomTo1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 23
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's nice of some of you to back down and admit that some people might have valid excuses not to BF, such as having survived brain cancer and sexual abuse. But I think a little less judgment all around would be nice. I agree that this sort of thread just incites more mommy wars that we just don't need. I also am appreciative that someone has called for thoughtful responses to the "stupid" excuses you hear.

Here are my thoughtful responses to what you believe are stupid excuses for not BFing (I tried for 10 days and cried when I decided not to do it anymore.

Excuse #1: "It hurts!"

Damn right it hurts. It hurt SO much that every single time my baby girl latched on, and the seconds leading up to it, I completely clenched up. I had to bite my tongue not to scream with every latch. Yes, I guess you could say that makes me a wimp and a horrible, selfish mom. On the other hand, I could say that I really felt bad for clenching up and not being able to relax and provide a welcoming environment for my daughter. I tried to correct her latch many times, and it just wasn't happening.


Excuse #2: "She wasn't gaining enough weight."

Well, she wasn't. Period. In fact, she lost more weight than what is expected for newborns, and then she wasn't gaining it back when she should have. I tried everything, but ultimately, either my flow was too slow or she was just way too sleepy to get enough. She could not stay awake long enough for a good feeding. Her input/output logs didn't look good at all. She wasn't pooping enough.

Excuse #3: "My breastmilk was bad."

I don't know, this could have been a problem too. When she was 8 and 9 days old, she stayed up screaming for hours on end, all night long. I was still breastfeeding at this point. I offered my breast as much as possible, but she expressed only a very limited interest in taking it.

On day 10 I was hopeless and made her a bottle. She took to it immediately, gulped it down, and slept like, well, a baby. We haven't had problems since. Her weight went up quickly, and in my opinion, she's a genius. She's the happiest baby I've ever seen. That was NOT the case while she was breastfeeding. Looking back, it seems to me I was actually starving her. Me, starving my precious newborn in an attempt to appease people like you.

I really caution all of you to stop judging other mothers who are trying their very best. You do NOT know everyone's situation, and I have never seen such a group of self-righteous people in my life.
WorkingMomTo1 is offline  
#137 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 05:07 PM
 
kindred_spirit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NJ
Posts: 374
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
1. I don't want to ruin my boobs...

2. Takes to much time

3. I won't have a sex drive

4. It will hurt & I have sensitive skin

5. My boobs are to small
kindred_spirit is offline  
#138 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 05:13 PM
 
Clarinet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,415
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Clarinet is offline  
#139 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 05:21 PM
 
Canadianmommax3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,805
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my breasts are for my husband, girl from work (whom i really like and get along with) i said but they aren't there for your dh they are there for the baby!
Than when i went back to work and told her (didn't no her very well than) i said i was still breastfeeding and she laughed and said why she doesn't no how to drink from a cup? That really hurt my feelings.
Canadianmommax3 is offline  
#140 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 05:36 PM
 
widdlelou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 678
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I get the " I don't think I made enough milk " one a lot from my friends

All the time "I jsut dried up after 3 months" ummm... maybe because you always put formula in the kids mouth at least twice a day. THat will make you not make as much.

"I dont' want to pump all the time" umm.. there is nip, or take your kid along with you every once in a while (these were sahm btw)

"I want my baby to sleep through the night quicker and if you BF then your baby is up all the time" my kid starting sleeping through the night by about 3 or 4 months. This was from a dear friend of mine who constantly tried to convince me to give her cereal in her bottle at night at 3 months OR at least give her some formula.

"I'm just not into it, I'm going back to work soon and I dont 'want to deal with it". Can we say selfish... why have the kid in the first place then, get a dog or a cat.
widdlelou is offline  
#141 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 05:37 PM
 
WorkingMomTo1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 23
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great. I just didn't realize that breastfeeding advocacy and support meant you had to belittle those who do not breastfeed.

ETA, I found this in that link. Thanks for supporting my previous post!:

"It must be clear that although we certainly do not encourage formula use we do support mothers who are doing the best they can for their children. It is very possible to find oneself compelled to use formula due to personal or family circumstances; such a mother can still be a Lactivist while seeking out support and information for her child's nutritional needs from the MDC community." (emphasis mine)
WorkingMomTo1 is offline  
#142 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 05:48 PM
 
Lizzardbits's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Southwestern Minnesota
Posts: 839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My ex's mother told me that her husband wouldn't let her breastfeed at all because it "would make her look like a cow". ....nice.....

Karin, Wife to Dear Sweet English Husband~Soon to be Legally American. Mom to Zach~13, Lily~9, Alex~2, and Izzy or Zeke arriving July 2010! Living a life full of LOVE!
Lizzardbits is offline  
#143 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 06:03 PM
 
dancindoula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: drowning in textbooks....help!
Posts: 1,200
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
From a close friend: "I'm planning to bf, but really nowadays formula is just as good." (sigh, at least she's planning to bf)

From same friend: "I know about all the reports that say ff causes all kinds of health problems, but really I just don't see how that can be true. Afterall, my mom ff us and we turned out just fine." (Yeah, she has asthma, ibs, pre-diabetes, more allergies than I can count, but she turned out just fine.)

Like others have said, this thread has nothing to do with moms who wanted-to-but-couldn't. It's aggravation about people who could care less and give zero rational thought to the concept.

"I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult." â E.B. White
dancindoula is offline  
#144 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 06:10 PM
 
LinzluvsGJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Albuquerque NM
Posts: 737
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"My doctor told me it's common to not make enough milk for the first baby so I gave her formula so she wouldn't starve."

I felt really bad because if I had known she had received such poor information from her pediatrician so early I would have been there trying to support her because she did express an interest in trying again for any future babies too. I would have been dragging her to La Leche with me or setting her up with a lactation consultant to help.

My response to it was "Wow, that's rather misleading. With the right support most can nurse just fine no matter which baby it is for them."
LinzluvsGJ is offline  
#145 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 06:11 PM
 
LinzluvsGJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Albuquerque NM
Posts: 737
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"I know how to make bottles so I'll just stick with what I know."

She's still pregnant and I'm still feeding her information because I think she's mostly just overwhelmed at the idea of a baby in every aspect.
LinzluvsGJ is offline  
#146 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 06:13 PM
 
cjuniverse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In a quiet place.
Posts: 1,907
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What the pp poster said.

If some have a problem or are offended by those of us who advocate for more babies on the breast, we are not coming after you. You, on the other hand, are coming here and snipping at us.

No one is twisting anyone else's arm to look at this forum. If you don't agree with our perspective, don't subject yourself to it. It would seem in the best interests of all concerned.
cjuniverse is offline  
#147 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 06:24 PM
 
WorkingMomTo1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 23
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by cjuniverse
What the pp poster said.

If some have a problem or are offended by those of us who advocate for more babies on the breast, we are not coming after you. You, on the other hand, are coming here and snipping at us.

No one is twisting anyone else's arm to look at this forum. If you don't agree with our perspective, don't subject yourself to it. It would seem in the best interests of all concerned.
You're right, but it is possible to be a lactivist who formula feeds. I formula feed and plan to try breastfeeding in the future, but after reading this thread I certainly do NOT want to be considered a lactivist. I'd rather find a group of breastfeeding moms who are simply glad to educate on the benefits of breastfeeding, rather than rip on those who do not for whatever reason.
WorkingMomTo1 is offline  
#148 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 06:52 PM
 
LinzluvsGJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Albuquerque NM
Posts: 737
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think it's good to just "rip" on an excuse, but to figure out how to use them as teachable moments like was discussed earlier. How can we combat those common excuses (which is oftentimes a result of misinformation being regergitated over and over even by "professionals" like pediatricians.)
LinzluvsGJ is offline  
#149 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 06:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
pfamilygal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas, howdy y'all!
Posts: 1,648
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabadger
The whole issue of a husband or boyfriend insisting that the breasts are for sex, so they can't be used to feed a baby, is freaking me out. I mean, the woman's vagina has been used to birth a baby, right? Does he get upset about "sharing" that? Maybe she should object to his penis also being used for urination! "That's for fun! No more peeing with it!" Sorry for getting weird here, but REALLY!! :
Dude, I almost peed! That is too funny. I will have to use that with a coworker of mine!

Tamara: hs'ing Christian mom of five here and five in Heaven. Joyfully awaiting Punkin, coming mid-Sept!
pfamilygal is offline  
#150 of 175 Old 05-31-2006, 07:39 PM
 
cjuniverse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In a quiet place.
Posts: 1,907
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Then don't consider yourself a lactivist or wish others to. No one here is trying to recruit. We're just venting. Like people need to sometimes.
cjuniverse is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off