Most irritating excuses! Make a list! - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-05-2006, 08:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, I was thinking today about the ignorant/lazy/stupid/irritating things that people say as an excuse to not nurse. Let's make a list!

1. I didn't make milk (yes, I know some people have low supply - but you don't know this if you "try" at the hospital and then give up)
2. I tried it once and didn't like it
3. My dh wants to help feed the baby
4. FF is so good for them with those lipids and stuff (my coworker told me this: )
5. My boobs are too small/big
6. I had a drug free delivery so I figured I'd done a good thing for baby so I didn't have to nurse him (a church friend said this)
7. My milk wasn't good enough
8. My baby likes bottles better
9. Breastmilk and formula are really the same nowdays
10. My mom ff me and I'm smart (really?? )
11. It's gross
12. It's too much work (yeah, 'cause bottles are so much easier than just having it on hand)
13. It's hard (so is parenting, so suck it up!)
14. My baby likes formula better (eww!)

And if you are a ff mom, don't take this as an attack. All my older kids have had *some* formula, for various different reasons.

Tamara: hs'ing Christian mom of five here and five in Heaven. Joyfully awaiting Punkin, coming mid-Sept!
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:04 PM
 
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"I am going back to work soon anyway so I just wanted to start him on formula right away."

Mommy to DS Adrian 8/10/04 and DD Geneva 9/02/09
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:07 PM
 
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my baby was too big and needed more than i could make :
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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ohh..just thought of another one

my nipples are too big for his tiny mouth

(the l&d nurse actually told me this with my first)
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:10 PM
 
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what about no one else in my family (mother, sister, aunt) could make enough milk so I'm not going to even try. :

Or I don't want my boobs to be ruined... sorry too late once you went thru pregnancy

I want to be able to diet and drink/smoke

ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:13 PM
 
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My grandma told me she breastfed her oldest (my uncle) once. He spit up afterwards and she was so deflated that all her hard work had gone to waste that she never tried it again with any of her (four) kids. I felt sorry for her.

A lot of people have told me they didn't breastfeed because bottlefeeding was more convenient.

Heather Mike Married 8/1/99 Mom to Charlotte Aug 04, Nov 06, and Katherine Oct 07
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:22 PM
 
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"I'm not comfortable and if I'm not comfortbale the baby won't be comfortable."

"I was molested." (I don't know maybe this is a very valid excuse but I know 2 people who were molested as children and they managed to bf)

"My nipples are too sensitive."

"I'm afriad it will hurt." (this comes from the people who usually want the epidural the second they walk into the hospital)

"I wasn't able to bf #1 so I don't want to make him feel like I love him less if I bf #2" (Yeah, I've actually heard this one.)

"I'm old and want to get pregnant again right away." (So you're going to deprive the first one in the hopes of *maybe* having another?)

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesMama
"I was molested." (I don't know maybe this is a very valid excuse but I know 2 people who were molested as children and they managed to bf)
So since your friends could manage every other abused woman can? Now THAT is a silly excuse!!

I bf DD, and would've bf DBD, but placed her for adoption (or wait, is THAT an 'excuse' as well???), but mentally I DID have alot of issues with childhood sexual abuse. It didn't stop me, no, but it did give me a HARD time mentally, and I considered stopping quite a few times cause of it.

I just think it's plain wrong to go saying that's an 'excuse'.
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:26 PM
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"Breastfeeding twins will be too much work. I want to bottle feed so my 2yr old can give the babies bottles while I nap"

"My boobs are for HIS enjoyment, not to feed babies..that's just gross"

"I dont want to deal with the BS of NIP"
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:26 PM
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What annoys me the most is “My husband didn’t want to share them (breasts), he wanted it all to himself” : :
or
“I breastfed for X weeks/months and then my milk dried up" (yeah, right, it just dried up!..: )
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:32 PM
 
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My body wasn't made for it...

I was snarky & asked if she didn't have breasts. I'm mean.
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R
What annoys me the most is “My husband didn’t want to share them (breasts), he wanted it all to himself” : :
Yeah, I've heard that one before too. I had a Dad tell one time that he wouldn't let his wife breastfeed because her breasts belonged to him and not his daughter. He was a miserable abusive excuse for a person in many ways.

Heather Mike Married 8/1/99 Mom to Charlotte Aug 04, Nov 06, and Katherine Oct 07
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora114
"Breastfeeding twins will be too much work. I want to bottle feed so my 2yr old can give the babies bottles while I nap"
We have a 2 YO taking care of twin babies while mom naps?? Isn't this a bigger issue than BFing...?? :

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:38 PM
 
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For some reason, people feel compelled to tell me their dumb excuses. Here are some excuses I heard for weaning.

"I ate spicy food once."

'The baby was hungry less than 4 hours after breastfeeding."

"I was out of the house a lot and I didn't want people to see me breastfeeding."

"The baby was going to grow teeth soon."

"The baby wouldn't eat food."

(this from a part time breast feeder) "After I feed the baby food, I give a bottle of formula so I don't get food on my breast."
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesMama
"I was molested." (I don't know maybe this is a very valid excuse but I know 2 people who were molested as children and they managed to bf)
I just don't know how you get to decide this is a valid excuse or not. To discount another womans sexual abuse just seems wrong.
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:44 PM
 
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[QUOTE=JamesMama]"I was molested." (I don't know maybe this is a very valid excuse but I know 2 people who were molested as children and they managed to bf)QUOTE]
Stupidest thing I ever heard, I was molested and I'm bf and my first son was bf.
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesMama

"I wasn't able to bf #1 so I don't want to make him feel like I love him less if I bf #2" (Yeah, I've actually heard this one.)
uhh I've heard this before as well WTF?!?!

also I had forgot about the "I can't get past the idea that breasts are for sexual purposes only" That drives me nutty!

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Old 05-05-2006, 09:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rmzbm
We have a 2 YO taking care of twin babies while mom naps?? Isn't this a bigger issue than BFing...?? :

Yup. I'm not one to wave a mommy penis around and try to get into peeing contests with it....but that woman isn't the most stellar mommy on the planet....

The 2yr old feeding the twins...that's just the tip of the iceberg...she acctually allowed said 2yr old to "adopt" one of them as her own and tote him around like a doll and all that good stuff, unsupervised.....

Then her DH had the balls to complain to My DH about how much formula costs.... He goes "dude, if your DW would have BF'd then you wouldn't be in this mess" Then the DH of the woman goes "well....I didn't feel like sharing them....and..blahblahblah"

*shakes head*

I dont associate with them unless neccisary as you can tell..
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Pandora114
Yup. I'm not one to wave a mommy penis around and try to get into peeing contests with it....but that woman isn't the most stellar mommy on the planet....
That made me laugh pretty hard....

And the rest of what you said - oh dear. That's just out of control.
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:49 PM
 
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:51 PM
 
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"I'm not a nurser"

"That just doesn't apeal to me. It may be natural, but I am not really a natural type person"

"I want my husband to be able to feed the baby in the middle of the night"

"Everyone I know formula feeds and their babies/children are just fine."

"I don't have to, and no one better try to make me, especially the nurses in the hospital" - yes, I heard this.

And about the whole molestation thing - I would never ever dream of denying anyone the pain, frustration, guilt, and scars of being molested as a child. However, the new baby is a new human being with a world of possiblities. I, too, was molested as a child, but when it came to providing for my own child, I had to let many hang ups go - for my own well being and for the well being of my son.

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Old 05-05-2006, 09:54 PM
 
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i thought i posted to this before... guess not!

mil said SIL didnt bf b/c she had a different blood type than her baby. My mom laughed in her face & said "laurie beth is a different blood type than me and i bf her!"
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ExuberantDaffodil
"I don't have to, and no one better try to make me, especially the nurses in the hospital"
I wouldn't worry too much about that...unfortunatly.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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Old 05-05-2006, 10:04 PM
 
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"my baby has excema because of my breastmilk... since she's been on soy formula it's starting to clear up a bit... see??" and shows me a baby whose face is riddled with ANGRY looking excema. and who'd just scratched her face which cause it to bleed. I was so sad for this little girl.
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Old 05-05-2006, 10:04 PM
 
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"He just sucked all the milk out of me."

My cousin used this with her 3mo. She said he wasn't thriving on her milk. Actually, she was leaving him with his grandparents overnight at just a few weeks old. She'd go out and drink/party all night and leave him with formula.
I wonder why...?
??
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Old 05-05-2006, 10:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by APintheAF
"He just sucked all the milk out of me."
I thought that's what they were supposed to do.

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Old 05-05-2006, 10:23 PM
 
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I'm not a frequent poster here and probably won't be welcomed back after saying this, but geez, ladies, this is one mean-spirited thread. Instead of getting all high and mighty about other mother's excuses for not breastfeeding, how about some thoughtful responses to those excuses that might help moms make better choices for themselves and their babies? People accuse the media of creating the "Mommy Wars," but here it is, in black and white, produced by and for mothers themselves.
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Old 05-05-2006, 10:29 PM
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ok: I countered the "Breastfeeding is too much work" excuse the other day with

"OH dear! I'm much too lazy to formula feed! All that sterilizing, mixing, heating, burping after every...single...ounce....worrying about finding a place to heat bottles while out and about, formula spoilage....I found it so much easyer to just breastfeed...especially at night...I was just too lazy and enjoying my sleep to get out and make a bottle...so I just dragged my kid in with me and just opened up the all night snack bar!"
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Old 05-05-2006, 10:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenGrrl
I'm not a frequent poster here and probably won't be welcomed back after saying this, but geez, ladies, this is one mean-spirited thread. Instead of getting all high and mighty about other mother's excuses for not breastfeeding, how about some thoughtful responses to those excuses that might help moms make better choices for themselves and their babies? People accuse the media of creating the "Mommy Wars," but here it is, in black and white, produced by and for mothers themselves.
Thank you for this.

I'm a ff-ing Mommy, not particularly proud of it. I was a staunch breastfeeding advocate prior to having my son, and as much as I knew bf-ing was the right and ONLY way to feed a child, I really was not prepared for the onslaught of emotions after the baby. I was reeling from a really nasty labour experience, had a gaping hole in my episiotomy that was not able to be stitched, I actually didnt' want to be anywhere near my son because all I remember was pain and frustration because I couldn't get him to latch right. One half hour after he was born, the nurse tried to get him to latch on to my breast so we could feed. I told her no way was I formula feeding my son - that was akin to rat poison in my books. So she tried - half heartedly - and I was pretty doped up still from my epi, and getting stitched and poked and prodded. Evan was having trouble latching, and the next thing I knew she put a bottle of formula in my husband's hands and told him to feed the baby the formula, that it was no big deal.

Anyway - this has all been discussed in prior posts from me on here. I tend to stay away from the breastfeeding/lactivism forums because it just brings back up all my guilt about formula feeding. I came into this thread to try to see if I could remember what my "excuse" was at the time. And to be hoenst, I have no idea why I quit. All I know was I was out of my mind, got NO support from either hospital staff or family members - aside from my husband who, bless his soul, was so distraught seeing me so frustrated and out of it that he really had no idea what to do.

I know that I am really a minority on these boards, and I try not to talk about my FFing too too much, since its' just not accepted, and I even to this day know that it was the wrong decision and feel horrible about it. But even though FFing is not looked upon too highly around here, I too think this thread is a bit mean spirited. Yes there are a ton of "stupid excuses", but you know - to those women at that time, they really might have been serious to them. I look back and think to myself "self, you're a punka$$ - lazy and selfish and seriously made a bad decision". Reading threads like this really makes me feel so much worse.

BUT - my reality is what it is at this point. I know better for next time, and I'll be damned if I let ANYTHING stop me with my next babe. But maybe, just maybe, these stupid excuses aren't stupid to the women who are making this choice - and ultimately it IS just that - their choice.

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Old 05-05-2006, 10:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by scatterbrainedmom
ohh..just thought of another one

my nipples are too big for his tiny mouth

(the l&d nurse actually told me this with my first)
Argh! I had a friend tell me this!

She also told me that after a case of mastitis her doctor told her she shouldn't breastfeed anymore - ever. Future children included. I told her that was the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, and that she should get a second opinion. So she backed down and admitted she didn't want to breastfeed.

Honestly! :
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