Brides Magazine... I can explain! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-15-2006, 11:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
AmandaBL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Zephyrhills, FL
Posts: 1,837
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I bought one to snip pics of up-dos for clients (I'm a stylist). I happened across the Aask a bridesmaid" section - p.232 of the May/June issue. I paraphrase....

Q. My bridesmaid wants to have a tailor cut slits into her dress to allow her to BF her newborn. She will cover the cost & says it will not affect the look of the dress.

I quote the first sentance:

"This isn't about altering the gown. It's about what is (& what isn't) appropriate at a formal social occasion."

They go on to suggest the bride set up a nursing "station" in the "corner of the dressing area or the ladies room"

Letters, ladies?

http://www.brides.com/services/contact?c=1&g=Contact+Us
AmandaBL is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-16-2006, 12:32 AM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,052
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: If she doesn't want babies 'ruining' her big special event why the he// doesn't the bride just flat out tell her friend not to bring her baby and let her friend tell her "sorry then, not coming".

Bridezilla much?
sapphire_chan is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 12:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
AmandaBL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Zephyrhills, FL
Posts: 1,837
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hear ya. God forbid an all important wedding be inturrupted so rudly by someone nurturing the future & showing an ultimate example of love. A wedding is NOT the place for THAT kind of thing.
AmandaBL is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 12:46 AM
 
Hippiemommie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: East TN
Posts: 1,315
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Letter sent!
Hippiemommie is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 01:12 AM
 
runes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,933
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
Bridezilla much?
:

sapphire-chan, i just love your responses.

anyways, thanks to the op for pointing this out. letter sent!
runes is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 01:15 AM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 15,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Eating is not appropriate at a "formal social occasion??"

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 01:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
AmandaBL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Zephyrhills, FL
Posts: 1,837
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Another good point. I assume there will be no food (or drink!) at the reception!
AmandaBL is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 01:22 AM
 
anastasia51's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 48
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
saddest thing is, the bride writing it may have happy to accomodate her bridesmaid if she wasn't would she be bothered to find out about it. Why is the magazine even giving her an opinion on it
anastasia51 is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 01:30 AM
 
Kleine Hexe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 6,783
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Exactly, why is the bride consulting a magazine? Does she have her own brain?

I was a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding when my DS was 4 months old. The dress was not made for nursing. I had pumped a bunch of milk for DH to feed him if he needed it. During the reception I ended up in the ladies room (Officer's Club so it was decked out with furniture) and undressed to the waist and nursed. It was funny to watch the expressions from the women as they walked in the room and saw me sitting there half naked.

If I had not been a bridesmaid in that darn dress I would have nursed anywhere but I didn't feel like being naked from the waist up for all to see. If someone can alter the dress then why not?
Kleine Hexe is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 01:55 AM
 
JamesMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Is a PROUD Iowan (finally...)
Posts: 7,962
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Gah, bridezilla is right.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
JamesMama is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 02:15 AM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,052
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh wait, I just had this oh-so-startling relevation. Maybe bridesmaids don't have to be in the same freaking dress? I mean, if you've got someone like me who's quite overweight, someone who's slender, and someone who has bodacious breastfeeding ta-tas, you're not going to find anything remotely decent for all of them anyway. So just tell them, "color A, length X, short sleeves, no butt-bows" and let them work it out. I bet this bride spends her wedding trying not to look back to double check that the pew bows are still positioned symetrically.
sapphire_chan is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 02:30 AM
 
runes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,933
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
Oh wait, I just had this oh-so-startling relevation. Maybe bridesmaids don't have to be in the same freaking dress? I mean, if you've got someone like me who's quite overweight, someone who's slender, and someone who has bodacious breastfeeding ta-tas, you're not going to find anything remotely decent for all of them anyway. So just tell them, "color A, length X, short sleeves, no butt-bows" and let them work it out.


my friend did this at her wedding, and it looked fantastic. everyone was wearing the same color and fabric, but each attendant wore a style that was flattering to her body and expressed each woman's sense of style. so classy and very different. i loved it!

now, this same friend is going to be in the wedding of her sil (who was in her wedding as well), and the dress is very nursing un-friendly. my friend's ds will be 5 months old and she's already trying to figure out how to alter the dress to make her "bodacious breastfeeding ta-tas" fit. we're already laughing about the tremendous cleavage she's going to be sporting.
runes is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 04:34 AM
 
oliversmum2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Earth - i think!
Posts: 3,717
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i sent a letter
oliversmum2000 is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 09:32 AM
 
Momtwice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 10,142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Will the person who has the magazine please contact promom.org?

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
Momtwice is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 10:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
AmandaBL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Zephyrhills, FL
Posts: 1,837
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
sure
AmandaBL is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 11:27 AM
 
ChattyCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Between the pig farms and a swamp!
Posts: 3,885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was reading an article or book (can't remember which) by Emily Post or Miss Manners (again, can't remember) recently. (Maybe it was Miss Manners on msn.com???) It said that invitations should never read "adults only." The people invited to the gathering are the names listed on the invitation, with the exception of NURSING INFANTS!!! It went on to explain that it is redundant to mark an invite "adults only," when you have only written the adult family members name on the envelope. But, that a nursing mother and baby are considered an inseparable pair, and it would never be appropriate to suggest or insist that a nursing mother leave her baby elsewhere. If I could only remember where I read it, you could quote it to the magazine.

Being a momma really makes the brain not work so well.
ChattyCat is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 11:43 AM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 15,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That ^ is awesome!!!!!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 11:57 AM
 
Momma Aimee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in South Texas and ready to go home
Posts: 9,304
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my sister was my matron of honor and nursed through part of our wedding. it was so perfect, i tear up as much at thoese photos as the ones of us.

before hand i told the photographers she would be and NOT to EVER cut her out of a photo or skip a photo.

AImee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
Momma Aimee is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 12:09 PM
 
earthie_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 526
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Letter sent, I'm anxious to see if they "correct their error"
earthie_mama is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 12:24 PM
 
MamaHippo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,517
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Letter sent - here is the gist of it..

I was a bridesmaid in my sisters wedding when DS was 3 weeks old. Thank goodness the dress was a long, floaty empire-waist thing ( cus we didnt know if i would still be pg at the wedding!). Unfortunately I could not nurse in the dress without physically taking it off, so i had to squeeze into a closet-sized restroom and half undress to feed my newborn. People had to come in to help me in and out of my dress, and it was hard cus i was recovering from a c-section.
Case being...
It was way more disruptive for me to have to occupy the restroom, have to ask other people to come help me out of the dress and strapless bra, and have to have someone wait outside to help me back INTO my dress. If i had had the forethought to alter the dress for nursing, I would not have had to disrupt the reception so much. I would think that any bride who is concerned about a woman's right to feed her newborn disrupting her wedding would want the baby to be fed as easily as possible - with a tastefully altered dress.
MamaHippo is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 12:25 PM
 
sophiesue2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 991
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was disappointed to see your recommendation in the May/June issue regarding nursing a child at a wedding. I assume that others will be eating and drinking at the function, and I hardly think it "appropriate at a formal social occasion" to deny a newborn food as well. I assume by the suggestion and a general understanding of anatomy, that you understand that if the dress isn't altered, the bridesmaid will have to literally undress her top half to feed her child. Perhaps it would have been better to simply answer the question regarding the dress, rather than insert an archaic suggestion that she relegate the bridesmaid to a corner.
sophiesue2 is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 01:06 PM
 
Soxfan Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 512
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great job, sophiesue. Short, sweet and direct. That has a great chance of being published (if Bride's has a letters section, that is).

Regarding the response to the reader's question about the dress: Bear in mind that the magazine industry is populated by hordes of childless women in their young 20s. I may have written something so ignorant back then, too.
Soxfan Mom is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 03:27 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 43,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by momma2emerson
I was reading an article or book (can't remember which) by Emily Post or Miss Manners (again, can't remember) recently. (Maybe it was Miss Manners on msn.com???) It said that invitations should never read "adults only." The people invited to the gathering are the names listed on the invitation, with the exception of NURSING INFANTS!!! It went on to explain that it is redundant to mark an invite "adults only," when you have only written the adult family members name on the envelope. But, that a nursing mother and baby are considered an inseparable pair, and it would never be appropriate to suggest or insist that a nursing mother leave her baby elsewhere.
Could you find that book, and get a time machine, and send it to my SIL 5 years ago? Had it been anybody's wedding but my brother's I would NOT have attended without my 6 week old!

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
Ruthla is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 03:56 PM
 
nata0742's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 363
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
letter sent....

1 month ago I was the nursing bride!!!!! was that inappropriate? LOL
nata0742 is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 04:07 PM
 
mamabadger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,743
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Not that I'd criticize brides to their face, but I find the practice of excluding children from weddings rather sad. Also inappropriate, I think, considering the nature of the occasion. I included everyone's children in the invitations for my own wedding, and some of the nicest weddings I've been to have included kids. Unfortunately, I missed my own brother's wedding reception because of his fiancee's strict 'no children' policy -- I was nursing my 6-month-old at the time, so we went to the wedding ceremony, kids and all, but not the reception.
In my humble opinion, if a wedding is too elegant for children to attend, then, well, it's too elegant!
mamabadger is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 04:29 PM
 
oliversmum2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Earth - i think!
Posts: 3,717
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
here here
oliversmum2000 is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 05:05 PM
 
siobhang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Annandale, VA
Posts: 2,407
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabadger
Not that I'd criticize brides to their face, but I find the practice of excluding children from weddings rather sad.
I totally agree. I personally have a pet peeve against "family events" that don't include children - it strikes me as saying that children are not considered part of the family until they hit some magic age.

My family does this all the time - they plan formal events for birthdays, anniversaries, wedding celebrations while automatically excluding our two boys (even for daytime events!).

Dh and I are the only ones so far with kids (darn our siblings!) and some of it is just ignorance, but some of it is also this assumption that formal = no children.

Drives me nuts.

Siobhan

You know the attributes for a great adult? Initiative, creativity, intellectual curiosity? They make for a helluva kid...
siobhang is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 05:53 PM
 
writermommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was in my brother's wedding when my first dd was 10 weeks old. My brother and SIL were awesome about the fact that I was nursing. No one ever suggested that I hide or not bring the baby! I can't believe a family would do that to a poor little baby. I did go into the brides/bridesmaid's dressing room because at the time I was more comfortable undoing the top of the dress and nursing in peace and quiet, but no one actually suggested that I do so.
writermommy is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 09:55 PM
 
firstwomantomars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Caribbean Blue
Posts: 421
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A year ago I was a bridesmaid for a very good friend's wedding and she actually had different styles for each bridesmaid (same color) and offered to have the dress altered for nursing - I hadn't even thought of it!!!

That was a great experience, especially when it came time to dance and I realized my back carrier was the EXACT same color and shade as my dress!!!
firstwomantomars is offline  
Old 05-16-2006, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
AmandaBL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Zephyrhills, FL
Posts: 1,837
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
if anyone gets a response let me know, please!
AmandaBL is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off