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#181 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 01:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by wannabe
Are you serious? Someone is going to deny breastmilk to their baby to spite some random woman they saw on the street one day? :

thats what im sayin'

~jen~ )O( mama to k 07/05 o 5/08 and c 12/09
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#182 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 01:53 AM
 
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I breastfeed in public because my child is hungry and needs to nurse. I'm not making a political statement by doing so (not intentionally anyway).

I think (again) it's all about what's comfortable for the mother/child dyad. Not what makes the people around them comfortable per se.

Some moms will NIP with a Hooter Hider or blanket.
Some moms will NIP while wearing nursing clothing.
Some moms will NIP only in the corner, hidden a bit from the people around them.
Some moms will "lift and latch."
Some moms may need to lift and leave lifted. Or may choose to.

I think as long as we are comfortable, practical, and accepting of the diversity of approaches which women take towards NIP, none of us are going to "scar" some unsuspecting woman in re: breastfeeding and specifically, bf in public.

I honestly doubt that any woman is going to look at the supposed woman who is nursing topless and think, "Oh, my goodness, I can't nurse if that's how you have to do it in public!" I think most women are quite aware that there are other options along the line (see above) -- and will choose the one which is most acceptable to her.

And maybe this is hypocritical of me, but I DO think that there are women who think that the only way to NIP is to use a blanket or hooter-hider type garment - because it's all they've ever seen. And until/unless they see differently, they're likely to either think they need to pump before they go out in public, or hide under a blanket/limit their public exposure while bf.

Whether they see a mom NIP in nursing clothing, or a mom NIP in street clothes - that may be what the mother needs to recognize that there are other options out there beyond the blanket, KWIM?

I feel most comfortable NIP in nursing tops -- but have NIP in street clothes, too (lift and latch) .... I think most women who've nursed, or men who've been around nursing, know what's going on [Whether they've ever NIP or not]. Those who haven't, might not have a clue. Which on some levels is unfortunate on an advocacy level. But, then again, if they're paying much attention they'd know what I'm doing ("Mom, what is that woman doing with her hand inside her shirt like that??" ).

Not all who wander are lost.
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#183 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 03:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Greenie
I'm not posing in Playboy and I don't want anyone seeing my breasts.
This seems to imply that those of us who don't hide our breasts are trying to be Playboy bunnies. There is nothing sexually explicit about breastfeeding.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenie
But when the conventions of society is that BFing is a private activity, I don't think that using a little disgression is a bad thing.
So if society decided that, in addition to nurslings, another group of people, for example, women, should always eat privately, should all women start holding handkerchiefs in front of their mouths whenever we eat, in order to appease society? Or should we defy taboos that are unreasonable in order to change them?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenie
I've heard stories of Mamas nursing very openly, not attempting to be disgreet in the least, and flashing tons of skin. While it's your right to feed your baby where you need to, at the same time I don't think that you should make a public display out of it.

The more you shove it down everyone's throat, the more resistant to it they become.
I breastfeed very openly. I do not attempt to be discreet in the least. My entire 42j breast is visible. And it is extremely offensive that you equate that with "shoving breastfeeding/NIP down everyone's throat." All I am doing is feeding my baby. If they feel that something is being shoved down their throat then that is just THEIR feeling rather than an action on my part. It's not true that the sight of mothers openly breastfeeding causes an increase in resistance to it. The opposite is true. The more it is seen, the more it will be accepted.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenie
I have the issues with seeing women NIP, but it's just women who don't give a damn.. Like, shirt pulled up, 3/4 of their breast exposed, looking about, and daring someone to say something. I'm not an exhibitionist about my BFing.
My entire breast is exposed and I look about. I don't dare people to say something because I hate confrontation, but that's probably why people are so rude to me, so for the women who ARE "daring someone to say something," I say more power to them! I am not an exhibitionist in the least. Nothing would please me more than for women openly breastfeeding to become such a common sight that nobody even bats an eye.

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Originally Posted by Greenie
I have noticed that there is an attitude of "if you cover, you're not doing anyone a favor".
It's true. Covering up to keep people in their comfort zone doesn't do them any favors. It reinforces their attitude that breasts are indecent, which is an unhealthy attitude. The attitude will be spread to others, which is unhealthy for society. On the other hand, letting people see our breasts in non-sexual contexts will help them become comfortable with breastfeeding.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenie
I am simply sudjesting the idea that you nurse discreetly. Offending people isn't a good way to help society to be more BF friendly.. I don't think that you should comprimise your child's comfort to do so, either.

All I'm saying is that in public, a person should show consideration for those around them. Just don't pull up your shirt for all the world to see. I'm not taling about a quick lift-n-lach, I'm talking about a Mom with a ZZ cup letting it all hang out. If you want to do that, it's totally your right. Of course it is, I mean, why wouldn't you want to show the world that you are making the best decision for your baby? I just don't think that it's totally appropriate to bust it out and have no respect for those around you.
When people are offended by me NIP, it is not because I am being offensive. It's because they have completely twisted ideas about what should be considered appropriate. Therefore, they are the ones who need to change, not me. Whether they know it or not, the way I NIP is what people need to see, and it will do society good. Don't tell me not to pull my shirt up for all the world to see. Why shouldn't I? There is nothing indecent about my breast. I have 42j breasts and I let it all hang out. There is nothing disrespectful or inappropriate about that. The attitude that I shouldn't do so is what is disrespectful and inappropriate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenie
I've seen moms letting way too much hang out.
Excuse me? You have issues that you need to resolve.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenie
I get uncomfortable with someone I don't know exposing their breast to me.
Then you are the one with the problem and you are the one who needs to change. There is nothing sexual about the sight of me breastfeeding my child.

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Originally Posted by Greenie
Whether you feel like the breast is a sexual organ or not, 99.9% of America does. There is nothing that anyone can do about it.
It is not a matter of feeling. The breast is not a sex organ or genital. That is a fact. It is a mammary gland. It is for feeding children. Your attitude that "there is nothing anyone can do about" the fact that our culture has sexualized the breast is very revealing and is clearly the source of much of your problem. Breaking the taboo instead of conforming to it is just one of the things that we can do to create change.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenie
I don't think that showing common courtesy to those around you and being modest in your nursing is a bad thing at all.
No, sorry, the attitude that we should all hide our breasts is not "common courtesy." It is a completely unreasonable expectation, and shows distain toward women and our bodies. The idea that we should all be "modest" when we breastfeed implies that breasts/breastfeeding are indecent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenie
It's this look that says "I double dog dare you to say something to me about what I'm doing because I'd just *love* to cause a scene." That's what I'm talking about.
Breastfeeding mothers are not trying to cause a scene. Having that "I dare you to say something to me" look in one's eye actually reduces the chances that someone will be rude to you. And if it does make someone feel powerful to say something back or to want to say something back to people who disapprove, how is that incompatible with lactivism?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenie
Excuse me for not wanting to see a stranger's breast.
Sorry, but I'm not just going to accept that the sight of my breast engaged in the act of nourishing my child is unwelcome and that I should respect that idea and act accordingly.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#184 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 08:59 AM
 
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what she said.

Greenie, really, please look at the shirt you are wearing in the picture you posted. That shirt is not modest enough for me to wear. That shirt shows more skin, than I ever have while nursing. But breastfeedign has "nothing" to do with modesty. I am surprised that you don't "get" that.
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#185 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 11:16 AM
 
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OK, can we please get off the topic of what shirt Greenie is wearing. It is a modest spaghetti strap tank top and I wear one every day just about. I find it offensive that there are some people equating that shirt with being immodest. It's a tank top for petes sake.
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#186 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 11:33 AM
 
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Sustainer, I just have to say:

:



:

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#187 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 12:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JeDeeLenae
OK, can we please get off the topic of what shirt Greenie is wearing. It is a modest spaghetti strap tank top and I wear one every day just about. I find it offensive that there are some people equating that shirt with being immodest. It's a tank top for petes sake.
Um, exactly. That shirt is just a shelf bra tank.. Just because I'm wearing a spaghetti strap shirt doesn't mean that I'm immodest. Geez.
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#188 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 12:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by numom499
Greenie, really, please look at the shirt you are wearing in the picture you posted. That shirt is not modest enough for me to wear. That shirt shows more skin, than I ever have while nursing. But breastfeedign has "nothing" to do with modesty. I am surprised that you don't "get" that.
I'm quite aware of what shirt I'm wearing in that picture..... In fact....... I was the one wearing it.

A lot of people have me confused with saying that women should nurse under a burqua, or hide in the bathroom, or something like that... Some people are visual learners. Let me give you an example.

This is fine. I've NIP like this...
This is how I also NIP sometimes...
This is beautiful.

This, however, I think is a bit much.

Do you now see what I was talking about? I'm not saying that women should use covers! Just don't show more skin than you normally would just because you're BFing.
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#189 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 12:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sustainer
This seems to imply that those of us who don't hide our breasts are trying to be Playboy bunnies. There is nothing sexually explicit about breastfeeding.


So if society decided that, in addition to nurslings, another group of people, for example, women, should always eat privately, should all women start holding handkerchiefs in front of their mouths whenever we eat, in order to appease society? Or should we defy taboos that are unreasonable in order to change them?


I breastfeed very openly. I do not attempt to be discreet in the least. My entire 42j breast is visible. And it is extremely offensive that you equate that with "shoving breastfeeding/NIP down everyone's throat." All I am doing is feeding my baby. If they feel that something is being shoved down their throat then that is just THEIR feeling rather than an action on my part. It's not true that the sight of mothers openly breastfeeding causes an increase in resistance to it. The opposite is true. The more it is seen, the more it will be accepted.


My entire breast is exposed and I look about. I don't dare people to say something because I hate confrontation, but that's probably why people are so rude to me, so for the women who ARE "daring someone to say something," I say more power to them! I am not an exhibitionist in the least. Nothing would please me more than for women openly breastfeeding to become such a common sight that nobody even bats an eye.


It's true. Covering up to keep people in their comfort zone doesn't do them any favors. It reinforces their attitude that breasts are indecent, which is an unhealthy attitude. The attitude will be spread to others, which is unhealthy for society. On the other hand, letting people see our breasts in non-sexual contexts will help them become comfortable with breastfeeding.


When people are offended by me NIP, it is not because I am being offensive. It's because they have completely twisted ideas about what should be considered appropriate. Therefore, they are the ones who need to change, not me. Whether they know it or not, the way I NIP is what people need to see, and it will do society good. Don't tell me not to pull my shirt up for all the world to see. Why shouldn't I? There is nothing indecent about my breast. I have 42j breasts and I let it all hang out. There is nothing disrespectful or inappropriate about that. The attitude that I shouldn't do so is what is disrespectful and inappropriate.


Excuse me? You have issues that you need to resolve.


Then you are the one with the problem and you are the one who needs to change. There is nothing sexual about the sight of me breastfeeding my child.


It is not a matter of feeling. The breast is not a sex organ or genital. That is a fact. It is a mammary gland. It is for feeding children. Your attitude that "there is nothing anyone can do about" the fact that our culture has sexualized the breast is very revealing and is clearly the source of much of your problem. Breaking the taboo instead of conforming to it is just one of the things that we can do to create change.


No, sorry, the attitude that we should all hide our breasts is not "common courtesy." It is a completely unreasonable expectation, and shows distain toward women and our bodies. The idea that we should all be "modest" when we breastfeed implies that breasts/breastfeeding are indecent.


Breastfeeding mothers are not trying to cause a scene. Having that "I dare you to say something to me" look in one's eye actually reduces the chances that someone will be rude to you. And if it does make someone feel powerful to say something back or to want to say something back to people who disapprove, how is that incompatible with lactivism?

Sorry, but I'm not just going to accept that the sight of my breast engaged in the act of nourishing my child is unwelcome and that I should respect that idea and act accordingly.
Oh, and thank you so much for going and taking all of the time to do this. Really. I think the world is a better place since you nit-picked every little thing I said and justified everything to everyone. Apparently I'm not even worthy of Membership here since I don't expose everything to the world.

See, I tried to make peace and say "Okay, whatever! Maybe I'm a prude." Oh, no, you couldn't just let things be...

Thanks. Real freakin' mature. I truly see how this place can be... Just atack me for saying how I really, honestly feel, instead of just agreeing with everything said. Makes me feel sad that it's like this here.
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#190 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 01:05 PM
 
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This, however, I think is a bit much.
those women are in a hospital......so that is taken tottaly out of context.

And i don't lift and nurse or anything like that, i unbutton my shirt from the top, or i pull down the neck of my shirk so its under my breast, then i undo my bra.......yeah it probably sounds complicated to some people, but its the easiest way for me, and im more comfortable with you seeing my bra and some of my breast than my stomach. And if that alone puts you off from breastfeeding, then you obviously didnt want to breastfeed anyway.
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#191 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 01:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Greenie
This, however, I think is a bit much.

Do you now see what I was talking about? I'm not saying that women should use covers! Just don't show more skin than you normally would just because you're BFing.
That last one is obviously of women learning how to breastfeed in a hospital after just giving birth! Greenie! The point about your particular choice of shirt is simply to show that there is a lot of skin there - and your shoulders are no more sexual than the breast you would see when women are NIP. Being on the side of 'well, I nurse in public - but not like those losers', really doesn't further the cause of Lactivism - there has to be a total acceptance of breastfeeding - no rules in order to normalize it in the eyes of society. It reeeeeeks of submission - sort of a 'if we just be good - then everyone will accept us' - we are being good - no matter how we breastfeed. You are only allowed to wear that shirt in public because at some point in this country some women 'shoved' feminist ideals 'down the throats' of the staus quo.
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#192 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 03:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Greenie
That is beautiful. Anyone who has a problem with that image seriously needs to get over it.

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Originally Posted by Greenie
Just don't show more skin than you normally would just because you're BFing.
It doesn't make any sense at all to say that breastfeeding should never involve showing more skin than you show when you're not breastfeeding.

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Originally Posted by Greenie
Apparently I'm not even worthy of Membership here since I don't expose everything to the world.
No one has said that it is unacceptable to breastfeed without exposing everything. I am well aware that I am in the minority here as far as how I NIP. It is the way I NIP that has been attacked in this thread, not the way you NIP.

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Originally Posted by Greenie
See, I tried to make peace and say "Okay, whatever! Maybe I'm a prude." Oh, no, you couldn't just let things be...
Sorry, but "whatever" and "maybe" are not words that convince me that offensive posts should not be responded to. If you don't want people to respond to your posts, it might help to delete them. Do you know how to edit your posts? (that's a sincere question)

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#193 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 04:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Greenie
This, however, I think is a bit much.

Do you now see what I was talking about? I'm not saying that women should use covers! Just don't show more skin than you normally would just because you're BFing.
so women in a post natal hospital ward is nto beign discreet enough for ya?

Have you EVER actually seen a woman take her shirt off entirelly to breastfeed?.. i doubt it. These women are in hospital robes.

I think peopel are comenting abtuo your shirt because you have taken it upon yourself to question the modesty, the properness, the politeness of those you describe in nursing scenerios.
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#194 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 04:33 PM
 
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I think peopel are comenting abtuo your shirt because you have taken it upon yourself to question the modesty, the properness, the politeness of those you describe in nursing scenerios.
Yeah, but that really doesn't make a difference. She's not nursing in that shirt so it doesn't relate to NIP at all or the OP about Hooter Hiders. And, I don't think me and Greenie are the only ones with shirts like that.
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#195 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 05:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JeDeeLenae
Yeah, but that really doesn't make a difference. She's not nursing in that shirt so it doesn't relate to NIP at all or the OP about Hooter Hiders. And, I don't think me and Greenie are the only ones with shirts like that.
I haven't seen the picture of the shirt in question, but why would it be irrelevent just because she isn't NIP in it? Is modesty/skin showing only an issue when one is breastfeeding?

I don't think the point is that no one should wear a shirt like Greenie's. I think the point is that she shouldn't be hypocritical about what other people do.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#196 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 05:21 PM
 
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Yeah, but that really doesn't make a difference. She's not nursing in that shirt so it doesn't relate to NIP at all or the OP about Hooter Hiders. And, I don't think me and Greenie are the only ones with shirts like that.
True. I wear shirts like that often. And I take one shoulder off to nurse. Is that "okay" according to your random modesty rules? (general "you" that is)

-Angela
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#197 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 05:34 PM
 
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Yeah, but that really doesn't make a difference. She's not nursing in that shirt so it doesn't relate to NIP at all or the OP about Hooter Hiders. And, I don't think me and Greenie are the only ones with shirts like that.
I think you are missing the point a bit.. no one is questioning that she wear the shirt. I am sure most of us have tank tops.

I think the point is the *modesty* does not relate to NIP at all, not universally if you or anyone feels the need to cover up- go for it, but that wasn't what was stated- it was stated as though OTHER nursers should function based on your comfort level (your collectively) and cover up as well.

How is it that when you are nursnig you should be "more" covered than you are in a shirt you normally wear???? I do not understand the logic. You *need* to have more reveleaed to nurse because your nipple can not be in your shirt. If it is okay to have your breasts showing in your everyday clothing. why not while breastfeeding your child?

So is the point of this that *breasts* are not the problem while NIP but the actual child is?? or what they are doing?

If people want to cover up they should, but I wont, and I do not like benig made to feel that i amdoign somethign dirty or ignorant by nourishing my child in a way we are both comfortable and safe.
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#198 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 05:35 PM
 
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True. I wear shirts like that often. And I take one shoulder off to nurse. Is that "okay" according to your random modesty rules? (general "you" that is)

-Angela
yeah, I do too. And I show about as much breast as the women in the hospital picture. there is a shirt on me, but the entire breast hangs out if I am in a tank top. See I live in tucson, and its easily 100 degrees on any given day. Im not wearing two shirts, or a cover or a tshirt in the hot summer if I can at all avoid it. Im wearing a tank. And I am not okay showing my stomach just so someone doesnt get a boob shot.

and remember, society was appalled when women stopped wearing panty hose with skirts.....

~jen~ )O( mama to k 07/05 o 5/08 and c 12/09
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#199 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 06:13 PM
 
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I felt really sad after reading this thread. People she be respected and not attacked for expressing their viewpoints, regardless of what others feel is right or wrong. People at MDC of all people, I would think could empathize with this. I don’t think any of the opinions expressed in this thread deny that breastfeed is a beautiful (not shameful) thing. People who breastfeed can do so however they choose, I also don’t think anyone has expressed to the contrary. If someone doesn’t want to “expose” themselves and would rather cover up, that’s great, if people choose not to cover, that’s great too.

I wanted to make one point that hasn’t been brought up in this thread. We live in a society (in America anyways) where, like it or not, breasts are considered a “private part.” I remember being jealous as a girl that boys could run around shirtless in the hot sun, and I could not. If we lived in some tribe in the rainforest, where it is customary for women to walk around topless, this would not even be an issue, but we don’t. Women wear clothing that covers the breasts, the vagina, and the buttocks, and men wear clothing that covers the penis and the buttocks, and in most cases, a shirt as well. It is because of this societal dress code that some women may find themselves inhibited to bf in public, and that should be respected just as much as the women who want to bf uncovered in public. No, breastfeeding is not sexual or indecent, but breasts are not something most people are used to seeing exposed in public, and while they are mammary glands and intended to nourish our young, most people consider breasts as being sexual as well, it is what it is.

I can understand both sides of this issue and I respect every woman’s choice regarding bfing. I also think this is a great place to discuss this issue, being passionate is one thing, but it doesn’t need to get mean or personal.
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#200 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 06:45 PM
 
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I don't understand the focus on what message it sends to others to nurse discreetly or indiscreetly, or what effect it has on other women deciding whether or not to BF. When I NIP, it is not to convert others. It is just because DD is hungry. How discreet I am depends on her. Is she in the sling? Is she in a popping on and off mood? Is she going to go to sleep on the breast? Those things are going to determine how much others see. If it has a positive effect on others, whether during a discreet session or an indiscreet session, that's nice, but that's the last thing on my mind at the time.
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#201 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 06:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Montessori Mommy
I felt really sad after reading this thread. People she be respected and not attacked for expressing their viewpoints, regardless of what others feel is right or wrong. People at MDC of all people, I would think could empathize with this. I don’t think any of the opinions expressed in this thread deny that breastfeed is a beautiful (not shameful) thing. People who breastfeed can do so however they choose, I also don’t think anyone has expressed to the contrary. If someone doesn’t want to “expose” themselves and would rather cover up, that’s great, if people choose not to cover, that’s great too.

I wanted to make one point that hasn’t been brought up in this thread. We live in a society (in America anyways) where, like it or not, breasts are considered a “private part.” I remember being jealous as a girl that boys could run around shirtless in the hot sun, and I could not. If we lived in some tribe in the rainforest, where it is customary for women to walk around topless, this would not even be an issue, but we don’t. Women wear clothing that covers the breasts, the vagina, and the buttocks, and men wear clothing that covers the penis and the buttocks, and in most cases, a shirt as well. It is because of this societal dress code that some women may find themselves inhibited to bf in public, and that should be respected just as much as the women who want to bf uncovered in public. No, breastfeeding is not sexual or indecent, but breasts are not something most people are used to seeing exposed in public, and while they are mammary glands and intended to nourish our young, most people consider breasts as being sexual as well, it is what it is.

I can understand both sides of this issue and I respect every woman’s choice regarding bfing. I also think this is a great place to discuss this issue, being passionate is one thing, but it doesn’t need to get mean or personal.
ITA!!

If I got mean, it's because I take it personally. No one is a bigger lactavist than I am.. Well, maybe there are, but in the city that I live in, BFing is not the norm.

Many women have said that they're not worried about what other people think because they're just trying to beed their babies. Yes, that's what BFing is, obviously..

But this is a Lactivism forum, with the intended purpose of promoting BFing (and yes, converting others to do the same).. I just know that there are women out there who aren't as strong as the women here. Even if we may disagree, we are at least passionate about something. There are women out there who actually would choose to FF because they saw something that turned them off or felt inapropriate about it. I think it takes a lot of courage to NIP, and it took a lot for me to even attempt it. First I pumped and then bottle fed him when we went out.. Then I started hiding in the bathroom.. Then I got the courage to do it wherever I was, and yes, I get dirty looks even fully covered.

I just think that you get more flies with honey, that's all. Society needs to change and be more accepting of NIP, and it irks me that I get a dirty look for NIP while fully covered while another woman can wear a shirt that shows a lot of cleavage and never get a seond thought.

When you NIP, whether you like it or not, you are representing the BFing community, and I want to do it in a positive way. This will be my last post in this thread because I don't want to argue. I respect your right to BF as you wish, and I'm asking that you refrain from making attacks on everything I say.
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#202 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 07:16 PM
 
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ITA!!

If I got mean, it's because I take it personally. No one is a bigger lactavist than I am.. Well, maybe there are, but in the city that I live in, BFing is not the norm.

Many women have said that they're not worried about what other people think because they're just trying to beed their babies. Yes, that's what BFing is, obviously..

But this is a Lactivism forum, with the intended purpose of promoting BFing (and yes, converting others to do the same).. I just know that there are women out there who aren't as strong as the women here. Even if we may disagree, we are at least passionate about something. There are women out there who actually would choose to FF because they saw something that turned them off or felt inapropriate about it. I think it takes a lot of courage to NIP, and it took a lot for me to even attempt it. First I pumped and then bottle fed him when we went out.. Then I started hiding in the bathroom.. Then I got the courage to do it wherever I was, and yes, I get dirty looks even fully covered.

I just think that you get more flies with honey, that's all. Society needs to change and be more accepting of NIP, and it irks me that I get a dirty look for NIP while fully covered while another woman can wear a shirt that shows a lot of cleavage and never get a seond thought.

When you NIP, whether you like it or not, you are representing the BFing community, and I want to do it in a positive way. This will be my last post in this thread because I don't want to argue. I respect your right to BF as you wish, and I'm asking that you refrain from making attacks on everything I say.

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#203 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 07:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Montessori Mommy
I felt really sad after reading this thread. People she be respected and not attacked for expressing their viewpoints, regardless of what others feel is right or wrong. People at MDC of all people, I would think could empathize with this. I don’t think any of the opinions expressed in this thread deny that breastfeed is a beautiful (not shameful) thing. People who breastfeed can do so however they choose, I also don’t think anyone has expressed to the contrary. If someone doesn’t want to “expose” themselves and would rather cover up, that’s great, if people choose not to cover, that’s great too.
I think by and large the vast density of this thread is expressing the exact same sentiment. Covering up is a choice as is baring it all, weather society has cutlrual biases with breasts or not.
What bothers me, is the difference between someone saying '*I* choose to cover up because that is my comfort zone'.. and making comments implying others' should also cover up.

If you are nursing and can not be covered it really only exasperates stereotypes and negative energies to hear comments in your own support network implying your are rude for not "being discreet".

And i can not speak for anyone else, but i do not choose my actions based on societies expectations, and there is only so much i can tune out. I do not need to hear insults about body types as much as i do not need to hear that feeding my child is paramount to being a stripper.
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#204 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 07:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Greenie
When you NIP, whether you like it or not, you are representing the BFing community, and I want to do it in a positive way. This will be my last post in this thread because I don't want to argue. I respect your right to BF as you wish, and I'm asking that you refrain from making attacks on everything I say.
I hope there can be some slight recognition that this may be implying that those who are "more exposed" are not being "positive" or representing the BFing community as well as you or those who choose to be "discreet".

If someone chooses to FF because she was traumatized by seeing another woman breastfeed, than there has to be some underlying other issues going on there.

I am not out to catch flies, or to catch other mothers- I am just going to feed my baby in the safest way possible, that means un-covered.

Please try to see that if one person posts an opinion and there are responses, simple disagrement does not equal attack.
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#205 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 07:30 PM
 
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I just think that you get more flies with honey, that's all
im not trying to catch flies.....I'm feeding my child in the most comfortable way for both of us. And as a side effect trying to make NIP a normal event for anyone who passes me by, if a woman is so put off by seeing my naked breast while im feeding him, that it would prevent her from bf at all.....then something else is going on in her life other than just seeing me.
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#206 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 07:53 PM
 
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Funny you should mention being equated to a stripper because of breast feeding.
I was told by 2 managers in Las Vegas Nevada - at a hotel cafe (very nice hotel - 500 ft from the casino floor - where the cocktail waitress' had a total of 2cm of fabric covering their crotches - not to mention the bulging breasts) that if I were a "good mother" I would cover up.

Heres the shoker - I was wearing a t'shirt sitting in a high back chair fully upholstered with arms - my t'shirt was pulled up and DS was draped over the rest of me. How anyone even figured out I was NIP is actually beyond me.
They kept using the term "more discreet" on me - gave me a restaurant napkin and unfolded it and tried to cover DS's head with it! It was humiliating!!! I left crying my eyes out - totally tormented.

I got home and calmed down and then got mad, hired a lawyer and wrote letters - they did pay for their mistake.
NV state law states directly that 'no woman should be made to feel ostercized for breastfeeding in public' among other distinctions such as - 'if a womans breast is showing while engaged in the act of breast feeding this does NOT constitute indecent exposure.'

My point is this - these managers were women who had also breast fed their children (so they claimed) and they really thought that they were doing me a favor by letting me know that I should be more discreet. They were baffeled that I was upset.
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#207 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 07:56 PM
 
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a napkin... ouch
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#208 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 08:01 PM
 
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i had a similar experience at bakers square embalene! The manager walked up to me (we were sitting in an empty side of the resturaunt in the corner, i was by the wall and window) and asked me to cover up.....that she understood since she had bf her kids, but i needed to cover up because the "kids" (teenage workers) were uncomfortable. I would have read her the riot act right then and there since i crry my IL bf laws with me in the diaper bag, but i was so taken aback and we were leaving anyway, that i didnt bother. But the next time we went in, i deliberatly didnt hide, and didnt cover up at all, and sat there waiting for the comment, i think the manager saw me and realise I wasn't going to stop and I've never had a problem since.

that sucks that they tryed to cover you with a napkin!
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#209 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 08:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Greenie
But this is a Lactivism forum, with the intended purpose of promoting BFing (and yes, converting others to do the same).. I just know that there are women out there who aren't as strong as the women here. Even if we may disagree, we are at least passionate about something. There are women out there who actually would choose to FF because they saw something that turned them off or felt inapropriate about it.
There are also women who would choose to FF after watching a mom nurse under a hooter hider. They're awkward, HOT (I live in Houston), and ugly. If I thought that nursing meant I needed to wear that every time my baby had to eat I'd think about other options too.

-Angela
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#210 of 281 Old 08-08-2006, 08:11 PM
 
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ITA angela.......before i had ds, everytime i saw a mother with one i always said to dh "that looks so annoying and complicated" .......thankfully, i had exposure to normal bf as a child from people my mother knew, and yes they let their big breasts "just hang out there", so I knew there were other ways.
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