What is the nicest thing... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 08-07-2006, 11:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So DH and I were talking last night about lactivism and some of the ignorance of people in regards to breastfeeding. One of the things we noticed is that people who try to convince us that we should switch to formula are all very nice and well-meaning folks, who may not be aware they could be undermining a breastfeeding mother's success. So, in light of this, I am curious, what is the nicest thing anyone has said or done to try and get you to switch to formula feeding?

Of course we got those free "Breastfeeding Success" Diaper bag/coolers at the OB's office from Enfamil (our new slogan for them is "Here's hoping you will fail!"). And then my neighbor bought us a HUGE can of formula, and said she 'found' it in her grocery cart. :

Just a modifiedartist.gif trying to find some peace and regain my balance.
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#2 of 12 Old 08-07-2006, 11:53 AM
 
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When my oldest daughter was born, my husband's mother offered to take care of her for the whole night for me so we could catch up on some sleep. It was a very nice offer but I was more interested in establishing a good latch than sleeping at that point.

I always get comments when people learned the baby is STILL not sleeping through the night. Everyone suggests a bottle of formula before bed to "fill her up."

You are absolutely right, Panthera28. Almost everyone that suggested formula to me were very polite about it. The only thing is, I wasn't complaining about what goes on, just answering their questions and they are so much more concerned than I am about it.
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#3 of 12 Old 08-07-2006, 12:13 PM
 
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My MIL suggested that she "take" dd for a night when she was about two months old. When I told her, no, I'm BF and she nurses at night, MIL suggested formula... I refused, and told her that DD was alergic to formula so we HAD to BF. MIL believed me!
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#4 of 12 Old 08-07-2006, 12:16 PM
 
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Hmm, the cans of formula at the hospital - "just in case" as the nurse said.

I told dh before ds1 was born to NOT offer to take the baby for a bottle - if I wanted him to feed the baby, I'd ask, but for him to not offer. It turns out, he told his parents and my stepmom the same thing so they didn't even offer.

You know the attributes for a great adult? Initiative, creativity, intellectual curiosity? They make for a helluva kid...
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#5 of 12 Old 08-07-2006, 01:47 PM
 
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I had to be on an elimination diet with Ina's allergies (the only formula she could tolerate, during the time she had to be on formula, was Neocate). IL's barraged me with variations of:

"Oh, that has to be so difficult! We worry about your health. Why don't you just give the Neocate instead?"

Someone who didn't know as much about nutrition, allergies, and bf would probably have caved.

ETA:
A sweet elderly family friend told me (during a growth spurt), "You know, some babies just need more. You might want to give her a bottle of formula once a day, too, just to tide her over."

Not all who wander are lost.
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#6 of 12 Old 08-07-2006, 02:28 PM
 
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When things were really bad I went to my doctor. I was having incredible pain nursing, especially on one side, and had cracked and bleeding nipples. I was told that the latch was fine and I later found out that the problem was oversupply on one side. The doctor told me to lay down and she would check my breasts to see if she could figure out what was going on. I did that, she looked at my left breast, the worst one, and actually stood up and took a step back. She told me it was the worst crack she had ever seen. Always good to be famous for something! Anyway she gave me some tips and then said "You know, if you want to switch to formula nobody is going to think less of you as a mother". I told her that I was going to breastfeed no matter what and if worse came to worse I would switch to pumping full time and giving ebm. She was very supportive and never brought up formula with me again.
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#7 of 12 Old 08-07-2006, 02:45 PM
 
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When my parents came to visit when Emily was like 6 weeks old, my mother asked if Emily could "spend the night" with them. I said no, because wouldn't it be a shock for both of them when Emily tried to latch on to grandma?

On the latching on grandma bit, my MIL told me that the first (or second) night we were there (we just got back) that she was in the bathtub with Emily (she was so excited to have Emily there) and Emily tried to latch on. I was in the other room getting a diaper and something for Emily to wear, and I heard this blood chilling scream. I ran in and MIL told me she didn't know what happened. The next day she admitted that Emily tried to nurse on her. I'm not sure if I believe that story, but it's still pretty freaking funny. At least MIL now knows that it's about more than "JUST" the boob.
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#8 of 12 Old 08-07-2006, 03:06 PM
 
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This was kind of a weird thing. We were visiting BIL and SIL in another state when DD1 was 3 and DD2 was 9 months. When I nursed DD2 at a restaurant, SIL asked, "You're still nursing?" I replied, "She's only 9 months." I got sick from traveling (often happens to me) and had to sit w/dd2 in the hotel room one day while everyone went out fishing and shopping (and there was a nurse-in that evening which I missed), and SIL said, "If you weren't breastfeeding, I'd offer to take DD2 tonight so you could sleep." As if I'd let DD2 spend the night with people she barely knew ANYWAY, one of them a smoker (BIL). And SIL is social worker who should really know better.

BTW, I actually like the "free" formula because I wanted to have some around in case I died (I'm a pessimist, what can I say?) and didn't want to have to buy the stuff.
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#9 of 12 Old 08-07-2006, 08:41 PM
 
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Julie, I take the "free" formula and give them to a friend of mine who is a foster parent, she needs them for her kiddos.
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#10 of 12 Old 08-07-2006, 08:49 PM
 
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Yeah, when my kids were approaching one year, I gave them to a food bank.
Then there was the time that I, uh, took some cans from our ped to give to the food bank.
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#11 of 12 Old 08-09-2006, 01:25 AM
 
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Check this out: my MIL actually bought, not formula, but BABY JUICE!! My little girl is 7 weeks old!!! My dear boyfriend had told her that Roxie was having trouble pooping (y'all know sometimes BF babies can have trouble passing their BMs), and bless her heart, she thought it would help. Of course I was like "ohh...thank you..." but I tossed that evil stuff after she left! I know she meant well, and my mom explained to me how different things were when me and Brian were babies. She said that it was even normal to introduce solids as early as 2 months!! Like, it was anything just to fill up a baby's tummy so it would sleep thru the night. Crazy sh*t....:
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#12 of 12 Old 08-09-2006, 01:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by julie128

I actually like the "free" formula because I wanted to have some around in case I died (I'm a pessimist, what can I say?) and didn't want to have to buy the stuff.
I did this too, with my first, I kept around the virtual TON of free formula "in case I'm in a car crash or something" I told everyone. Once I had a bank of milk in my freezer, I sold all the formula on eBay and used the proceeds to buy a sling. With my second, I didn't get any free formula, so we never had any around, even if I did die... I'm willing to plan for my death so long as it doesn't cost me anything, I guess!

I don't think its pessimistic. I find that the more prepared you are for something, the less likely it is to happen, and vice versa.

"If you only knew how many things I want to say and don't, you'd give me some credit."
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