For those who are against drapes - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-21-2006, 04:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
Brigianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: who knows?
Posts: 7,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Are you also against nursing clothes? Because they serve the same purpose...

It seems odd to me that someone would be anti-drape but pro-nursing clothes. I'm not being snarky. I would like to know what the difference is in people's minds. Unless you are against nursing clothes as well. And if so, what should people who live in cold climates do?
Brigianna is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-21-2006, 04:37 PM
 
CryPixie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: drifting away...
Posts: 3,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That's an intersting opinion.
Nursing clothes make nursing easier... like instead of baring your midrif to the cold you get to open a slit so baby can nurse and you can stay warm... or not show your post-preg strech-marked belly to the entire world.

Nursing drapes, however, send the message that nursing is something that is inappropriate, is something to be ashamed of, that shouldn't be seen.

No baby should have to have their head covered so they can eat.
CryPixie83 is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 04:43 PM
 
RachelGS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In a state of perpetual disbelief
Posts: 6,190
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What CryPixie said. Nursing clothes are clothes that are easy and convenient to nurse in (although I always hated them and found myself feeling a lot more exposed than if I just lifted my shirt). Drapes are specifically for *hiding* a nursing baby and the mother's breast.
RachelGS is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 04:48 PM
 
KittyKat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Cruisin' along in my Ford Econoline
Posts: 1,973
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, I agree.

I own a couple nursing dresses and they make it much easier to BF. I also own two nursing tanks (more comfy than my nursing bras) and a nursing shirt that I like because I can nurse in the sling easier with it on.

A nursing cover is something I would have to go dig out of my diaper bag, clip it on, situate the baby underneath, then unclip and put away after nursing... Not to mention it's like a billboard "Look at me! I'm hiding under here so you don't see my BOOB feeding a BABY!"

I live in the south and I get hot carrying around a baby anyways, add a blanket over us and you're asking for heat stroke.
KittyKat is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 04:48 PM
 
momto l&a's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Idaho
Posts: 13,100
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I personally detest nursing clothes as they are for the most part IMO tacky looking.

There is also no need for me to go spend boocoo de money on nursing clothes when my regular clothes work just fine. Its all about layering.

I dont like drapes because they draw more attention to the nursing mom then just a a baby laying in its mom arms.
momto l&a is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 04:49 PM
 
finn'smama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: home...
Posts: 2,148
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yup, I agree with the others...nursing clothes are about convenience and drapes are about "hiding".

Mama to Finn (04/05) Arlo (04/07) and Henry (04/10)
finn'smama is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 04:50 PM
 
wednesday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 5,421
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I thought nursing clothes were more for convenience than for being discreet. I had a few nursing tops and I didn't think they were particularly discreet. In fact I thought they kind of advertised, "I feed my baby from my boobs!" I didn't even find them that convenient, it turned out, so I quit wearing them. But if some other mama finds them helpful, more power to her.
wednesday is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 04:53 PM
 
KittyKat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Cruisin' along in my Ford Econoline
Posts: 1,973
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
I didn't even find them that convenient, it turned out, so I quit wearing them.
Yeah, they aren't THAT convenient.
I only have the one shirt because I bought it to try out. It wasn't THAT much better than regular shirts, so I never spent the $$ to get more.

I like my nursing dresses because I do get tired of wearing skirts and tops ALL the time, or only wearing dresses that button in front. My mom made them for me, so that's special too.
KittyKat is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 04:57 PM
 
lml41981's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My thing is that I have to wear clothing anyway. So, if I find some clothing that makes nursing easier and looks good, then I'll wear it. I never walk around wearing an apron or a blanket, so why would I throw one on to nurse?

That said, I have one nursing shirt and I quit wearing it months and months ago. I just wear normal ol' clothes.
lml41981 is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 04:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
Brigianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: who knows?
Posts: 7,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CryPixie83 View Post
That's an intersting opinion.
Nursing clothes make nursing easier... like instead of baring your midrif to the cold you get to open a slit so baby can nurse and you can stay warm... or not show your post-preg strech-marked belly to the entire world.

Nursing drapes, however, send the message that nursing is something that is inappropriate, is something to be ashamed of, that shouldn't be seen.

No baby should have to have their head covered so they can eat.
So why is it okay for a woman to not want to show her stretch-marked belly, but not okay for her to not want to show her breast?


I've never thought of nursing clothes as being more convenient than drapes. I found the drape to be more convenient--you only need one and can take it anywhere, as opposed to a whole wardrobe of nursing tops.
Brigianna is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:00 PM
 
Sabo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,278
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think a lot of people are more opposed to the drapes b/c it makes them feel as though the child is being hidden, whereas nursing clothing is supposed to hide the breast (albeit not always effectively).
Sabo is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
Brigianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: who knows?
Posts: 7,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabo View Post
I think a lot of people are more opposed to the drapes b/c it makes them feel as though the child is being hidden, whereas nursing clothing is supposed to hide the breast (albeit not always effectively).
So people would be okay with a nursing drape that only covered the breast, not the baby? The impression I got was that the anti-drape people were against the idea of women wanting to cover their breasts while nursing. Which is why I thought that nursing clothes served more or less the same purpose....
Brigianna is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:05 PM
 
Benji'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 3,971
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
So why is it okay for a woman to not want to show her stretch-marked belly, but not okay for her to not want to show her breast?

It's okay for a woman not to want to show her breast, IMO. But a drape makes it look like you think you have to hide your entire baby so that no one sees what the baby is doing. Like it is shameful just to breastfeed, whether or not the breast is exposed.

Single mom of 2 boys
Benji'sMom is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:07 PM
 
Drummer's Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Land of Enchantment
Posts: 11,487
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I like nursing tops.. but only cute ones that do not look anything like maternity clothes. I've found some at motherhood that you can't tell are nursing tops.

I'd never use a blanket over my baby's head though, it's hot, attracts attention and he'd never go for it anyways.

I like to keep my tummy and top of my boobs covered so I'm okay with nursing clothes.

ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
Drummer's Wife is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:07 PM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,052
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Drapes are about breastfeeding "discretely", nursing clothes are about breastfeeding "discreetly".

Which is to say, drapes attempt to hide the entire act of breastfeeding, while nursing clothes permit a mama to have more control over the exposure of her own body.
sapphire_chan is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:08 PM
 
afishwithabike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Third rock from the sun.
Posts: 4,962
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wore nursing tanks when I had DS. He was born at the end of July and it was HOT. I liked that when I had them on he and I didn't stick together. Since he was in the sling most of the time I didn't BOTHER with a "drape". I think it sends a negative message that BFing should be hidden from the world because we NEED to be embarrassed for feeding our children the way we were designed to.

Do any other mammals drape to feed?

We are STILL mammals which makes us animals. I have yet to see a monkey or dog cover to feed their babes.
afishwithabike is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
Brigianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: who knows?
Posts: 7,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is interesting. I've never thought of drapes as hiding the act of breastfeeding. You can still usually tell that there is breastfeeding going on under the drape. And as has been mentioned, the drape can attract more attention than nursing without one.
Brigianna is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
Brigianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: who knows?
Posts: 7,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by afishwithabike View Post
I wore nursing tanks when I had DS. He was born at the end of July and it was HOT. I liked that when I had them on he and I didn't stick together. Since he was in the sling most of the time I didn't BOTHER with a "drape". I think it sends a negative message that BFing should be hidden from the world because we NEED to be embarrassed for feeding our children the way we were designed to.

Do any other mammals drape to feed?

We are STILL mammals which makes us animals. I have yet to see a monkey or dog cover to feed their babes.
In fairness, you're not likely to see a monkey or a dog wearing clothes, either...
Brigianna is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:14 PM
 
Mama K's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,091
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Personally, I don't care for nursing clothes because I don't like the way they look. I can nurse quite discreetly with regular clothes. No breast shows at all. I can't STAND nursing with a blanket or drape. First of all, my poor babe has a blanket over her head and can't breathe as well, can't look at mama, etc. Secondly, I can't see my baby, either. Plus it's just another thing to have to tote around.

Mama K: Child of God, wife to S, mama to 3 little beauties and 1 handsome little guy!

Mama K is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:15 PM
 
Mama K's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,091
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, also --

I feel the blanket or drape attracts MORE attention to the fact that I'm nursing. If I want to nurse discreetly, I just lift up my shirt a little bit and my baby covers everything. Looks like I'm just holding a sleeping baby.

Mama K: Child of God, wife to S, mama to 3 little beauties and 1 handsome little guy!

Mama K is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:15 PM
 
CryPixie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: drifting away...
Posts: 3,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If a woman doesn't want to show her breasts that's fine, I never said it was bad to want to be modest. But there is also no shame in showing skin.

My point remains the same: Nursing drapes, however, send the message that nursing is something that is inappropriate, is something to be ashamed of, that shouldn't be seen.

No baby should have to have their head covered so they can eat.
CryPixie83 is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:18 PM
 
Meiri's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Murrysville, PA
Posts: 8,869
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
To me, if modesty is the issue, it's the difference between adapting clothing so that one can feed without having to possibly almost disrobe the top half of one's body and waving a flag that says "I'M BEING MODEST." which is, when you think about it, rather the opposite of true modesty.

Modesty isn't just about body coverage IMO. If you're advertising how modest you are, by using the "I'm BREASTFEEDING flag" for instance, you're not really being modest IMO.

If our normal clothing, that nearly everyone wore on a regular basis, were breastfeeding friendly to begin with, this wouldn't be an issue at all. We'd go about our business, and if we had a baby to feed, we'd simply do so. Unfortunately, much of modern clothing is not so intelligently designed.

"What will you do once you know?"
Meiri is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:20 PM
 
RiverSky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Paradise
Posts: 6,622
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
Are you also against nursing clothes? Because they serve the same purpose...
I think drapes are silly but nursing clothes are not the same at all, as previous posters have described well.

If you can find good nursing clothes (the ones I bought didn't fit or work on me at all, what a waste) and you like to wear them, great, but after trying, I totally don't see the point.
RiverSky is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
Brigianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: who knows?
Posts: 7,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lml41981 View Post
My thing is that I have to wear clothing anyway. So, if I find some clothing that makes nursing easier and looks good, then I'll wear it. I never walk around wearing an apron or a blanket, so why would I throw one on to nurse?

That said, I have one nursing shirt and I quit wearing it months and months ago. I just wear normal ol' clothes.
I guess the difference I'm not getting is--the purpose of a drape is to cover your breasts and upper body. The purpose of a shirt is to cover your breasts and upper body. So it seems odd that people would oppose the drape on the grounds that a woman should not feel the need to cover her breasts/upper body, but use/support shirts that do the same thing. You wear clothing anyway--so you cover your breasts and upper body anyway on a regular basis. So why should you have to or be expected to reveal part of your body that you would normally keep covered just because you need to nurse your child?

And if you are opposed to that, wouldn't it make sense to be opposed to clothing, at least shirts? Or at least nursing shirts


FTR--I'm specifically asking about people who are ideologically opposed to drapes and find them offensive, not just those who choose not to use them for themselves.



But now, if I'm understanding it right, the objection to drapes vs. clothes is that the drape covers the baby as well as the mother, and the baby should be uncovered. That makes more sense, at least. But doesn't the mother have the right to decide how much of her body to expose in public?
Brigianna is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
Brigianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: who knows?
Posts: 7,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CryPixie83 View Post
If a woman doesn't want to show her breasts that's fine, I never said it was bad to want to be modest. But there is also no shame in showing skin.

My point remains the same: Nursing drapes, however, send the message that nursing is something that is inappropriate, is something to be ashamed of, that shouldn't be seen.

No baby should have to have their head covered so they can eat.
How does wearing a drape send that message any more than wearing clothes sends that message? That's what I don't get.
Brigianna is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:23 PM
 
GooeyRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,951
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just for an idea for those who do not like to show their bellies, don't like nursing tops or using blankets...

Cut an old t-shirt. Cut out the top portion in front, leaving the belly portion. Tuck it into your pants, and wear a regular shirt over it. Then when you lift your shirt to nurse, the other shirt is still tucked in, no tummy showing.
GooeyRN is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
Brigianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: who knows?
Posts: 7,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meiri View Post
To me, if modesty is the issue, it's the difference between adapting clothing so that one can feed without having to possibly almost disrobe the top half of one's body and waving a flag that says "I'M BEING MODEST." which is, when you think about it, rather the opposite of true modesty.

Modesty isn't just about body coverage IMO. If you're advertising how modest you are, by using the "I'm BREASTFEEDING flag" for instance, you're not really being modest IMO.

If our normal clothing, that nearly everyone wore on a regular basis, were breastfeeding friendly to begin with, this wouldn't be an issue at all. We'd go about our business, and if we had a baby to feed, we'd simply do so. Unfortunately, much of modern clothing is not so intelligently designed.
So you think wearing a drape is like "showing off"? I can sort of see that... but if your concern is not showing your body, it wouldn't matter if it looked like an "I'm breastfeeding" flag...


Some women can't really be covered while nursing with just nursing clothes, so if they want to be covered, they have to use a drape... but the intent of the drape and the clothes seems to be the same...
Brigianna is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:28 PM
 
rightbrainroot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In my own little world.
Posts: 29
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Speaking purely from personal experience...I NEVER used a blanket to cover up w/ while nursing my children in a room full of women. I flashed them all, and didn't mind a bit. In smaller groups where men are (other than my own husband, of course), I have gone to another room to feed.

That said, I do not plan to do that this time around w/ my next child. The same "rule" will apply to women only areas. But where other men are in small groups, I will nurse discreetly , w/out a cover, but keep a blanket or burp cloth (diaper sized) for latch on and off. That is how I am comfortable. Out in the middle of a zoo, for instance, I will nurse as needed, w/ out any kind of cover.

I think every woman is entitled to nurse as she feels comfortable. She should not be made to feel as though she HAS to cover up, but if she chooses to, then that is fine. A woman should not feel like she HAS to nurse UNcovered either, just to prove a point.
rightbrainroot is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:40 PM
 
Dinosaur_Mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Army Fort Lee, VA
Posts: 35
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm really modest in general about my nude bod (or swimsuited bod). That said, I don't care WHAT anyone else wears or doesn't wear when breastfeeding. However, for myself, I never "got the hang of it" as far as NIP with a nursing top. I always felt like I was about to give the world a full-frontal. Instead, I used a loosely woven shawl a lot as a drape. I don't think I should be made to feel like a bad example just because I'm shy.

 familybed2.gifChristine, Registered Nurse, Army wife of my favorite soldier; David, kiss.gif, Mommy to Audrey-7 Rainbow.gif and Matthew-6jog.gif.  Expecting #3 around 8/15/2011joy.gif  
Dinosaur_Mommy is offline  
Old 11-21-2006, 05:40 PM
 
marisa724's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Nutley, NJ
Posts: 1,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
How does wearing a drape send that message any more than wearing clothes sends that message? That's what I don't get.
Obviously the fact that we wear clothes at all implies some form of modesty... but that's a fact that's pretty universally accepted, humans wear clothes. So that's a given.

Clothes function not only to give us some modesty, but also to protect our bodies from the elements -- to provide a barrier for our more 'tender' parts and to keep our bodies at a comfortable temperature (in cooler weather) or shielded from the sun.

So I guess to me the difference between a nursing top and a nursing drape would be that the shirt would continue to be useful whether or not the mother is nursing. Whereas the drape functions solely to provide a barrier for a nursing mom and baby.

The real issue is not whether a drape should or shouldn't be used -- there are obviously women who are more comfortable with one or the other -- the drape should not be compulsory when nursing in public. It's nice that it exists, as a convenience to moms who need that extra level of privacy. But if a woman is equally comfortable with the level of modesty that a nursing top describes... or if she just hikes up her regular top!... that's a decision to be made on an individual basis.

mama to Joey (1/04) and Teddy (4/08) :
marisa724 is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off