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#181 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 03:58 PM
 
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I believe Christ commanded us to welcome the little children. This means even in service and there was no age limit set...therefore this includes even the suckling babes.
Yup, Joel 2:16, it's a call for repentance, but isn't that a part of worship?

Gather the people; sanctify the congregation; assemble the aged; gather the children, even those nursing at the breast....
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#182 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 05:00 PM
 
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Uhm, I happen to be ultra conservative and I nurse in the middle of service (in fact, one of the ushers suggested I go ahead if I felt comfortable). I've had good and bad experiences in both conservative and liberal churches.
I'm ultra conservatie too. I was saying that in a lot of Christian churches that I know of people tend to be more conservative, and for some reason many of them don't think NIP is a very conservative thing to do. Many equate NIP with being very liberal and "out there", so they look down on it. I'm glad you are able to bf in your church w/out any problems, and even receive support and encouragement. I know that would never happen at any church around where I live.
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#183 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 06:25 PM
 
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Melanie, okay gotcha, thanks! It bugs me that ppl make such hoopla over what has been done forever! and is purely how things were meant to be done.

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#184 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Nope, no reply yet. I called the national church office and requested a follow up on my letter. We'll see what happens. I'm also going to put a call into the district leader and request a follow up.

DH and I did do a 'healing sunday' and didn't go to church this weekend. This coming sunday we are going to visit my GMIL's churc at her request and then possibly start attending an open bible church. We went there for a time when James was small and BF'ing was never an issue.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#185 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 06:56 PM
 
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i hope you find love and acceptance
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#186 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 06:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay I called the district, they basically said they removed my name from the membership, said they will be praying for healing in my heart and said that they talked to my (former) Pastor and that they will be praying for all involved.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#187 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 07:04 PM
 
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Okay I called the district, they basically said they removed my name from the membership, said they will be praying for healing in my heart and said that they talked to my (former) Pastor and that they will be praying for all involved.
i'm sorry but :Puke what a load of unsopportive, sit on the fence, mealy mouthed cr*p.

i thought the church was supposed to take a moral stand for what is right and good.

i hope your new church is wonderful.
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#188 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 07:05 PM
 
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That seems kind of like they side-stepped the issue. Healing in your heart for what? So that you can forgive those who hurt you so badly or so that you can realize that you were at fault and be healed? I continue to be saddened by what you have been going through.
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#189 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 07:11 PM
 
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Wow, this is just unbelievable. I am so sorry you are being treated this way.
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#190 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 07:18 PM
 
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I cant believe that's the only answer they gave you!!

I would send the revised letter, that someone else posted, and tell them you will be seeking other recourse if they do not do x,y,z.

bleh:
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#191 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 08:22 PM
 
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I am sooo sorry this is happening. I wish we were all close enough and could gather with you at church one Sunday.

I have moved on from my baptist roots, but I hope you find a group that will support you, cause I do!

If you are ever ready for a plethora of emails in your behalf you just let us know! We are behind you 1000%.

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#192 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 08:43 PM
 
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Ditto. I will say the one mistake was in immediately being asked to be removed from the church rolls. The higher ups see that and say "well, she solved the problem for us, it's no longer an issue" and don't have to deal with the messiness of confronting a pastor (can you tell I've been in a church where they abused their authority before?).

However, floods of emails sound tempting....

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#193 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 09:06 PM
 
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I would send the revised letter, that someone else posted, and tell them you will be seeking other recourse if they do not do x,y,z.
What other recourse is possible? Churches are pretty much free to do as they please, barring illegal activity and physical abuse. People are equally free in this country to stay away.

I find that response lame in the extreme. They find out that one of their pastors slanders mothers for feeding their babies as Jesus was fed, and all they can offer is prayer??? You are better off out of there IMO.

"What will you do once you know?"
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#194 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 10:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much mama's...

I'm just going to run, run far far away. I'm so upset by it but I feel like I've gone through every channel avaliable to me and still ended up with bupkis. Yeah, I could protest, I could threaten legal action, I could contact news organizations and all thats going to do, really, is paint Christians in general (and there-by Christ) in a bad light and thats the last thing I want to do. It frustrates me to no end to know that I've been wronged in such a way and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

BUT I will keep him from winning. I will continue to do what I know is right. I will teach my son and future children what is right. I will continue to be the true example of Christ's love and light in this world, something they, sadly, are failing at.

I will rest happy in the knowledge that I have nothing to fear when I face my creator, and they do. This is their sin to answer for. Not mine.

Plus, I don't want to persue anything because my friend recently found out she is pregnant and I don't want to cause any stress on her or the baby. Her B/P was abnormally high at her m/w appt (pregnancy comfirmation as she hasn't had a period since her son was born) today she said...I don't want to add anything to her plate.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#195 of 209 Old 12-05-2006, 10:07 PM
 
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i think you have expressed your feelings to them, and leaving is definately showing them how you feel about their actions. good for you for continuing to be an example of Christ's love in this situation!!
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#196 of 209 Old 12-06-2006, 12:25 AM
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Sometimes the hardest thing is not to fight. May peace be yours.
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#197 of 209 Old 12-06-2006, 12:41 AM
 
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Sometimes the hardest thing is not to fight. May peace be yours.
: I hope your new church will be wonderful and accepting.
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#198 of 209 Old 12-06-2006, 12:43 AM
 
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You can come to my Christian congregation. I nurse uncovered during the meeting almost every Sunday!

I am really sorry you were confronted this way and I hope you and your husband are able to find a new congregation that does not equate breastfeeding a baby with cardinal sin! Heavenly Father will help you find your place.
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#199 of 209 Old 12-06-2006, 02:13 AM
 
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I'm sorry your church (and pastor/pastor's wife) have such a dim view of the way God has designed us to provide for our children. In scripture it says that both the women who nurse and the babes who are nursed are truly blessed.... Scripture is by no means silent on the wonderful blessing of nursing a young child.
Here's a site with some scripture regarding nursing to reassure the actions you have taken: http://www.motheringfromtheheart.com/whatgod.htm

Quote:
Joel 2:16
"Gather the people, consecrate the assembly; bring together the elders, gather the children, those nursing at the breast"
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#200 of 209 Old 12-06-2006, 12:29 PM
 
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Post the whole story to your myspace page along with all the relevant biblical quotes.
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#201 of 209 Old 12-06-2006, 12:35 PM
 
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Congratulations to your friend!

Send her all our best wishes for a peaceful drama-free pregnancy. It's hard enough being a young momma, with a toddler and PG without adding "unsupportive former friends" to the pile.

I totally understand your decision. That's most likely what I would do in the unlikely event something like that happened in my church (which has so far been very BF-supportive).

I hope you find a caring, bible-believing church HOME soon mama.
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#202 of 209 Old 12-07-2006, 08:15 PM
 
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I am saddened by this whole thing. Your old church definately lost its perspective and focus. The wrong pastor can be so damaging to the health of a church.

I hope you find a new church soon that supports you and has the right attitude about a normal, healthy process; feeding our children.

We are all behind you and you are in our prayers! Let us know about your search for a new church home and how it goes!
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#203 of 209 Old 12-08-2006, 01:31 PM
 
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JamesMama,
For what it's worth, notwithstanding the "Ditrict's" wimpy response to you there's a pretty good chance that the pastor was called on the carpet or at least told to be more sensitive in how he deals with these types of issues in the future.

I agree with the previous poster that said sometimes the hardest thing to do is to refrain from fighting. However, you are taking a stand and setting an example. I have to believe that will have a positive impact.

Good luck in finding a more supportive spiritual environment. More than anything your experience illustrates there is oftentimes a big difference between being a Christian and being Christlike.
~Cath
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#204 of 209 Old 12-08-2006, 01:59 PM
 
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I know this is too little, too late, but I wanted to give you my thoughts on the subject.

God made my breasts to feed my child. In doing so, I am following HIS plan for my life, and the act of nursing is an act of worship. Where better to worship God than in His House? Nursing in church is worshiping God. And that's what I will always believe. I can nurse my child, the way Mary nursed my Savior.

Be thankful for this much. You learned the hard way, but now you know what a poisonous den of rats that place is, and you're honestly better off without their influence. God did not give it to us to judge others, that is His realm alone.

Judge not lest ye be Judged.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

I'm praying for your family.
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#205 of 209 Old 12-08-2006, 04:04 PM
 
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Some random thoughts.....I would list specific demands or things you want to see happen versus IMO the too general "that actions be taken to restore my reputation". An example: I request that we receive a formal written apology from X, Y, and Z. or "we request that a public apology/retraction be printed in the church newsletter" or............
I would also demand that said demands occur by X, and Y date. In addition, I would also demand a response to your letter by blah, blah, blah date and add in something like "OR we will be forced to take further action." I would also send it certified mail.
You can remain vague where you want to and let them wonder WTH you are going to do next, while at the same time you also do not want to use any terminology that could be construed as slanderous or threatening. Sometimes it's best to say as little as possible. Say just enough to get your point across. I would seriously re-consider sending out such a detailed letter. Keep a firm grasp on the hand you were dealt. You don't want your hand forced too soon IYKWIM. IMO, what they did was illegal in whole or in part (not just the "discussion" but the whole surfing your myspace page and printing out YOUR personal property in addition). It truly depends on far you want this to go as to the action you take next. The whole thing reeks. I am so sorry.

DC
JM....they are blowing you off. Re-do the letter and consider some of the suggestions I posted above. They consider you and the situation a joke.... like you will just let them spit on you and your family, and you'll just go away. Don't let them.

DC
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#206 of 209 Old 12-08-2006, 04:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm considering replying to the letter...just have to get my thoughts in order.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#207 of 209 Old 12-08-2006, 04:51 PM
 
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I'm considering replying to the letter...just have to get my thoughts in order.
I'd be saying something about me praying for that troubled hateful pastor who'd call Jesus' own mother a w***e, but that's just me.

for you

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#208 of 209 Old 12-08-2006, 07:33 PM
 
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I'd be saying something about me praying for that troubled hateful pastor who'd call Jesus' own mother a w***e, but that's just me.
: : :
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#209 of 209 Old 12-08-2006, 08:25 PM
 
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Glad you liked it Heather, I was afraid it was too rude after I posted.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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