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#1 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My Pastor called today...asked that Josh and I meet him at the church tonight at 7:00. DH is hoping to become a Pastor so we figured it was either related to that or related to this Sunday night young people service he's wanting to start.

Anyway, one of my friends (from the church, also an AP Mama friend of mine) calls and asks if Pastor got ahold of me because he called her to get my #. He'd called her to, asked her and her DH to meet them at the church.

We show up and Pastor, his wife, and 2 of the counsual members are sitting in the basement around a table...with a mini-voice recorder sitting on the table. I start to get nervous. My friend and her DH and their DS show up shortly after us and we open in prayer and pastor starts in saying that some photos that my friend and I have on our Myspace pages of our children nursing, you can't really see that much, and they say that they are PORNOGRAPHY!! And that we are a bad influence on the teens and that once my friend went to nurse and flashed everyone and some teens saw it. And that it reflects badly on the church and blah blah blah. And THEN they say that it reflects badly on the coffee shop my friends parents own and that people have said they will not go to the coffee shop or to our church because of the photos on our Myspace.

OMGOSH! I went off. I told them that those photos were NOT indecent, they were NOT sexual. And anyone that thinks they are sexual have the issue. Not me. How DARE they insuinuate that there is something wrong with me feeding my child. That I have a LEGAL right to breastfeed ANYWHERE

And they spout off on morals and I have to be a Christian infuance and I'm held to a higher standard as a Christian. And people see I'm a christian...blah blah blah.

He even called my friend and I prostitutes. Not even lying.

And of course they went off on the whole "Breastfeeding is great." but cover up bull crap to which I said "Oh, so I should sufficate my son while he eats? Do you cover your head while you eat?" How is it any different? Why did they attack me like this?

I feel so hurt and betrayed and I just can't believe what just happened. My friend got up and let at the beginning, her DH came back and told them that the church was wrong, they should be ashamed of themselves and that they would not be back to that church ever again.

I got up and left shortly after and after I let DH told them that he wanted no part of that church, resigned our posisitions as teachers and I guess the Pastors wife and one of the counsual members started crying, begging Josh to pray over it and blah blah blah. I won't be going back to that church EVER again.

I've never been so angry and hurt in my whole life.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#2 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:02 AM
 
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Oh my goodness. I am so, so very sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how hurt and betrayed you must feel right now. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers, as well as your church. I hope they can come to see the truth of how incredibly wrong they are.

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#3 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:06 AM
 
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I cannot believe that they seriously called you into a meeting and told you that nursing was equivalent to prostitution and didn't expect you to immediately leave the church!

That is horrible and traumatic, but also ridiculous and absurd. I am really sorry that happened to you, but happy for the lucky people who get you and your husband and your friend and her husband as active, young new members of their church.

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#4 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:06 AM
 
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to you. Personally I would make sure that that information makes it public. I bet local news would love it.

That just stinks.

-Angela
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#5 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:08 AM
 
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WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! As a Christian, I am completely shocked and offended on your behalf. I am so sorry you had to experience this. Good for you for stating your case and standing up for *feeding your child* and I'm so glad your husband fully supported you as well. It blows my mind how some believers don't embrace and wholeheartedly support God's design for feeding children and using our bodies the way they were intended to be used! If anything, you are being the best possible example to the teens in what breasts SHOULD be used for!

I'm sure you are just dumbfounded and so hurt right now
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#6 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:15 AM
 
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Find some Christians who don't consider Mary, The Mary, to have been as a prostitute for feeding Jesus.



I don't know about being public about this, but OTOH, your MySpace would be the perfect place to express your feelings about people so perverted that they equate eating with sex.

"What will you do once you know?"
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#7 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:17 AM
 
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I am so sorry that you had to go through with that. That is totally absurd. I can't believe that they would relate feeding your child to porn and prostitution. That is definately NOT a church you need to be at. I am sure that there are many other churches who will gladly accept your family. I will keep you in my prayers. I will also be praying for the leaders of your old church, that their eyes are opened to the truth.
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#8 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:47 AM
 
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If I were you I would have said something along the lines of, "How dare you think so lowly of the perfect food that God gave me to give to my child." Yeah, gotta twist the religion onto them...jerks!

- Emy . Single mom to DS nut.gif Ezra (15.12.05), angel2.gif Thames (reincarnated 18.04.08) and DD rainbow1284.gif babyf.gif Allora (11.02.11) and dog2.gif Hoppylactivist.gif  novaxnocirc.gif  waterbirth.jpg fambedsingle2.gif bfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

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#9 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I told them that I was feeding my child the way God designed AND that Jesus was breastfed.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#10 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:54 AM
 
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All I can think is how many MDC moms can you get to go nurse there next Sunday. If I had money I would fly to wherever you are! BIG HUGS!!! Not christian my a**. I have nursed all over my church, my DD even pulled off right when the pastor came up to me one day. Pretty sure he got an eyeful and they have never said anything.

Allison wife and mom to four. 

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#11 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 12:56 AM
 
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Originally Posted by itsybitsy25 View Post
WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! As a Christian, I am completely shocked and offended on your behalf. I am so sorry you had to experience this. Good for you for stating your case and standing up for *feeding your child* and I'm so glad your husband fully supported you as well. It blows my mind how some believers don't embrace and wholeheartedly support God's design for feeding children and using our bodies the way they were intended to be used! If anything, you are being the best possible example to the teens in what breasts SHOULD be used for!

I'm sure you are just dumbfounded and so hurt right now
:

I cannot even imagine how you must feel right now. I know that I would be very angry if my pastor and other church members told me something like this. I hope that you and your dh (and your friends) will be able to find a new church that is more accepting (as every church should be!).
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#12 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:09 AM
 
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Oh, no friggin way! You really need to address this with other members of your church, even if you have no intentions of returning! Is this a small church? Are there headquarters or something.

I am so sorry Mama
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#13 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:09 AM
 
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You must be so upset. I am so sorry that that happened to you. How did all of these people come across your myspace in the first place?

Thinking about you mama.... hope that this brings you to a wonderful place.

Good to see the politics of the group before you are too involved.

:
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#14 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:13 AM
 
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That is unbelievable!

I can't even imagine how betrayed you must feel. That's just weirdo behavior on their part, plain and simple. I'm so sorry that happened to you!

Anyone who equates breastfeeding with pornography is just so off. And it's also very weird that they were crusin' around myspace, looking for trouble.

Wife to a wonderful dh and mom to four beautiful kiddos, dd (3/04):, ds1 (1/06), ds2 (10/08), and ds3 (7/10)
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#15 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:18 AM
 
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: How DARE they?!? I'm so sorry mama! If you were here, you could come nurse beside me! (and the Pastor's wife, for that matter!)
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#16 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The way he made it sound is like the whole TOWN has seen our myspace and they've gotten calls from several different people. WTF? Thats just bizzare to me. There is a boy in our youth group on my friends list but I don't think he ratted us out. His profile isn't exactly innocnet anyway.

I'm soooo tempted to complain to a higher up...district or nationwide supervisor or something...

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#17 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:21 AM
 
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That's terrible! I'm glad you were able to put in your two cents in return, though. They deserve to get a real earfull.

Edited to add...if your church is part of a national group definitely talk to someone from headquarters!
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#18 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:29 AM
 
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Originally Posted by JamesMama View Post
The way he made it sound is like the whole TOWN has seen our myspace and they've gotten calls from several different people. WTF? Thats just bizzare to me. There is a boy in our youth group on my friends list but I don't think he ratted us out. His profile isn't exactly innocnet anyway.

I'm soooo tempted to complain to a higher up...district or nationwide supervisor or something...
Um...

do it.

I have never heard of a pastor calling someone a prostitute. I would call it what it is, abuse. Run, run, run from this church.

Certainly there must be another church where you will be welcomed with open arms.

If memory serves me didn't you have problems with this church in the past- with your home being "inspected" and called not up to par? Or was that someone else?

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#19 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:30 AM
 
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First, I am beaming with pride at your responses. Right on Sister!

Second, I am so sorry that your church hurt and betrayed you like this. So so sorry.

Did they pause to wonder how Jesus himself survived his infancy? They might as well say Mary was being pornographic too.
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#20 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by itsybitsy25 View Post
WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! As a Christian, I am completely shocked and offended on your behalf.
: Gosh, I don't even know what to say...I'm just dumbfounded. You must feel so incredibly angry. What they said to you was SO WRONG. They need to be educated about breastfeeding, because they are so obviously and completely clueless. I am so sorry you had to go through that.
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#21 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:56 AM
 
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From your posts, JamesMama, I can tell you are a woman devoted to your God so I can't imagine the betrayal you feel right now. I also urge you to report to higher authorities of your church. I can see how some stuffy people think women should cover up (even though it should always be a woman and her child's choice IMO), but calling you a prostitute and equating it to pornography is terrible. Personally, I feel like those people have impure thoughts since that's what came to their minds.
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#22 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 01:56 AM
 
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That is seriously wrong! I cant imagine the nerve of those people!!!! How dare they??? I hope you do report this to a higher level. Behavior like this is just unacceptable. They are sooooo wrong.
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#23 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 02:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much mama's.

My DH's grandma used to go to this church and left for various reasons, she invited us to her church. Strangely enough it's the same church that my friends parents attend so my friend is going there too.

I plan on contacting the Head office tomorrow and telling them how they attacked me.

DH wants to call the pastor and asked if our Ex-associate pastor (their grandson) was treated the same after his...indecression shall we say.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#24 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 02:56 AM
 
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Wow. I would absolutely make this public - all members of the congregation should be aware of this council's beliefs/ignorance.
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#25 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 03:00 AM
 
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That is SO wrong. So wrong. I am so sorry for you. I second what Angela says about the local news. People like that need to be stopped.
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#26 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 03:02 AM
 
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I wish I could say I was suprised, but honestly, I'm not. Iowa is sometimes very backwards. I've gotten strange looks from people at my MIL's church. Apparently breastfeeding belongs in the "cry" area or in the nursery, but ONLY there.

I want to make a onesie that says "Good enough for Jesus is good enough for me. Breastmilk, God's plan."

It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
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#27 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 03:35 AM
 
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I am just so horrified for you, I cannot describe it!!

If this is an "organized" denomination - then go over your pastor's head and report this inappropriate behavior. If you are Presbyterian, call the presbytery office, if Methodist call the conference, if Episcopal call the diocese - you get my drift. Write a STRONGLY worded letter expressing your feelings.

I am the organist/choir director at 2 small Methodist churches. The congregations there really have no experience with BFing moms (I would say 99% of our parishioners FFed their children or were FFed themselves) but they have embraced me and baby Elizabeth and have been so supportive of BFing. In fact, I take Elizabeth to church with me each week and they hold her while I play. Our pastor is totally sweet and supportive as well. I hope you can find a new church home where you are treated with the respect you deserve!!!
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#28 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 03:39 AM
 
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I am so sad and angry that this happened to you. They had no right to call you in and have this conversation with you. As a Christian, I can't even imagine having this happen. Nursing your son is completely normal...judging and calling names is not. I would definately look to higher leadership within my denomination if I were you. One question...you mentioned that there was a tape recorder...did they record the whole conversation? If so, I'd try and get a copy of the tape to share with anyone willing to listen! Best wishes to you, your DH and your sweet boy.

Tina
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#29 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 03:45 AM
 
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I'm so sorry. I would report them to a higher up in the church hierarchy. Sorry not being a church member myself I'm not sure what the correct name would be, but whoever that your pastor answers to. The is an appalling, disgusting and shocking thing to happen.
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#30 of 209 Old 11-28-2006, 04:10 AM
 
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E-mail your pastor these and ask if they count as porn

http://www.religiousartworks.com/m/religious-icon-4.jpg
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/m...guidoreni2.jpg
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/im...on-Posters.jpg
http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/images..._17.190.16.jpg
http://www.umfa.utah.edu/library/med...ache186783.jpg

BTW most sundays I'm nursing in the chior loft

Timmy's Mommy WARNINGyslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
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