Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: mooning TAO
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My last thought on this TP. If and when you talk or when and if you talk to the SP or Area Authority if you talk directly or send a letter...I don't think you need to have any "arguments" defending bf'ing ready at all. All you need to say is that you are nursing your child and have been asked by the Bishop to not do so. You don't need to defend your decision or bog it down by explaining. I think if you just put it simply it gets right to the root of things. The Bishop was getting into the nitty grittys of the argument and that probably hurt vs helped things.
♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥
Well friends - the news is not very good. *sigh*
My bishop did indeed send the RS pres to my home. I'm not exactly sure how to re-cap the evening, but I made a list of things we agreed on and things we disagreed on.
*Nursing is not pornagraphy
*This issue is not entirely mine
We disagree on:
*He (and the stake pres agrees) feels that nursing in Sacrament Meeting is only appropriate with a blanket.
*He feels that any incidental flash of skin resulting from my nursing will/could be a 'trigger' for a man dealing with pornagraphy issues. Sort of like dangling a ciggy in front of a recent quitter. What about ppl with foot (or other oft exposed body parts) fetishes? No one is being asked to keep their feet covered all of the time.
*When pressed, he found that the only solution in this issue in for me to use a blanket to "cover myself" while I nurse in mixed company - RS is not an issue.
*It is obvious that to him my refusal to use a blanket (while reiterating my efforts to always be as discreet as possible) clearly shows a lack of respect/understanding/cooperation/considration/compromise on my part
*He asserts that there are two ways to nurse - in the mother's lounge and "covered" (using a blanket). The third would be "uncovered" (his term).
*He and the rest of the ward can't possibly be the only ones with this negative and uncomfortable attitude towards nip. It's everywhere. (It is NOT in Oklahoma where I lived until just recently!)
*I assert that attitudes towards nip have indeed changed in the past 20
*He does not consider the normalizing of nip and breastfeeding in general to be a positive change.
*I CAN make a difference even though I am only one!
To sum up: He cannot force me to use a blanket, but pretty much threatened further action (I don't think that at this point he even knows what he would do) if I continue as I have been and later he recieves a tip that an individual he is specifically working with on porn/infidelity issues has been negatively "affected" by my nursing "uncovered". It seems to be an issue of exposed skin. If I nurse in the mother's lounge the odds that they might see any flesh are 100:1. If I nurse among them but using a blanket, the odds of maybe seeing flesh are then 50:1. Finally, if I nurse among them discreetly but without a blanket, the odds are suddenly 15:1 in favor of a peep show. These are apparently odd they are uncomfortable with facing.
I feel so sad. It is a sadness tinged with fear. I am afraid of being alone, and right now I feel very alone. I will never feel the same comfort and security at church that I have in the past. I will, of course, continue on as I have been. Thank you all for your incredible support. You don't know how happy and loved I felt when I read that you were checking in for an update. (How pathetic is that )